A message to my new, dear friend

[rissababynta]

I have many people on this site who know me, and like me. I start this off by saying that because if someone goes and tells others that I call them a cunt, and I make fun of their mental disabilities, they know that this person is either a) a liar or b) someone who said something royally messed up to get me to that point. No matter what anyone ever says to me, I would still never actually make fun of a mental disability anyway, so that right there is a moronic accusation.

I've been in chat with you. Nothing was said to me. When I'm not in chat with you, I hear that you claim that it's a good thing that I wasn't because I got on your bad side. Hmmm, interesting. Mildly sad, but interesting all the same.

I'm a forgiving person. I don't like to hold grudges, and I don't like to start problems. People who do screwed up things with me always have a chance to redeem themselves. I'm fairly easy to get along with. I can be a fun person to speak to and a great friend to have. However, you will never have the opportunity to know all this if you continue to spread childish lies.

Respond back if you wish, ignore this if you choose. No matter what your next action may be, please, grow up just a tad and meet me halfway...

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Honey , I love it when you call me names. Makes me hot , so DONT you fret lol

[rissababynta]

Lmao! I love you GEL.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

And I love you ! ;)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Rissa, my Obese Sistah, it just sounds like someone has some issues and has some growing up to do. Just ignore this indivdual and dont let her get to you. Mind over matter, Babygirl. You shouldnt mind, because childishness doesnt really matter. Talk to her off the board via email then be have done with her.
Hugs Darlin
Cat

[rissababynta]

I do have reasons for doing things this way on the forum cat, but, I am beginning to think that it might just have to be a "forget it" kind of thing, because I don't think that things will just end peacefully...as much as it would be nice...

[Nikki Ninja]

Lol wow thats hilarious
i know you probably dont want to hear this but everything is fine and dandy until you shot back at me for expressing my opinion about people like that dani girl. Because i honestly think that people like her needed to see the pleasures in life which she horribly fails at seeing. I may seem like a hearltess cruel person for this, but people like that annoy me a bit, its just who i am.

and to even further my irritation about the whole thing you shot back at me twinfold. Theres way to go at disagreeing. But sorry your case in that was a catty nasty attitude that you get from freshmen cheerleaders at high school. With all your friends to gang up on me too, another immature act was to hide behind your friends asi had to take them all on at once.

Im a very friendly person and alot of people like me most of the time. I get along with alot of people. It's when you defend people in such a manner that you have to pay the consequences of losing any nice feelings i had towards you.

I tried to forget about it and blow it off until a couple( of which i assume) of your friends told me you were talking a whole bunch of shit about me.. called me a cunt Blah Blah Blah, yeah it pissed me off.

I would like to give you a friendly peice of advice that i learned from a real life experiance, you should NEVER completely trust people you meet online, no matter how long you have known them. People on the internet are usually twice as coniving and full of shit as you may want your naive mind to believe. There are a very few out there that are trustworthy, but chances are you wont ever truly know who..
As for you calling me a cunt, when someone told me that i could actually see you saying that for all that shit that went down, so i had a reason to believe these people. Maybe you could clear it up with me what you really said?
I'll be streight up honest with you right now, i did call you a fatass dumb bitch to people in a chatroom sometime back because i was upset and they were fueling my fire, and i'm sorry for that, i honestly think you are very cute and i apologize

I really would like to be chill with you, so i guess il take the first step, Im sorry i rubbed you the wrong way about that dani chick, but i often like to excersize my natural right of freedom of speech on most issues and topics, sensitive issues or not. And i always expect people to disagree with me and thats fine, but theres just ways to go about it, and have friendly-ish debates about it, i think in our case in got heated and turned into resentment. And i will share the blame for it, our personalities clashed in a bad way, so i think to be mature we should both take the blame for this uprising bullshit.

:) please share opinions and thoughts, lets just be civil please. And to Rissas friends try to contain yourself from unleashing hell on me, kay thanks :rolleyes:

[Laken]

*sigh* I really wish I had the balls to not censor myself.

[rissababynta]

Nikki, you were the one who began everything with people by not only being opinionated, but extremely rude about it. I think you should go back and take a closer look at the thread. I had no involvement of people ganging up on you. That all was their opinions. They can all think for themselves and I am by no means a ring leader. I'm sorry you felt that way, but that is entirely how it is. If you have problems with anyone else, you will have to work it out with them because I had nothing to do with their responses to you. I speak for myself and myself only.


As for this cattiness you speak of, I do not see anything catty with telling someone to stop being so obviously rude to people. You are right, there is a way about following through with what one says, and telling someone who is working through a problem that they need to get laid is not it. Look at all of those who jumped on you for this, it's obviously not a conspiracy. And I know that many (I won't name names) lost it when you brought up the idea of abortion to a pregnant lady who at no point said anything about not wanting her baby. There is a certain tactfullness that a person can have while not straying away from their freedom of opinion.

Now, I just want to clear up this mental disability thing as well. I have never and will never make fun of someone who has a mental disorder. I myself have problems with depression, OCD, and probably some other stuff that I just haven't really dwelled upon to much. I am working on a degree in psychology. I have counseled women through abortions in a women's clinic and I have held a few of their hands through the procedure. I am in no place to make fun of someone who has something going on mentally. I feel that there are certain problems that one has that is not an adequate excuse for ones behavior, and like you will exercise my freedom of speech to voice my opinion, but I will never actually make fun of someone for something like that. If you felt that I did, I am sorry about that.

As for this cunt business, hell yes, last night, I called you a cunt. It takes a lot for me to call someone a cunt and really mean it too. When I hear that someone is sitting there talking about me behind my back and acting like I am some horrible human being when in reality I didn't even do anything wrong, that drives me nuts. If I act like a total bitch, and someone calls me a bitch, then that's fine by me. I have no problem with people calling me out for acting a certain way or doing certain things when I actually do them. I'm sorry about this as well, but for future reference please make sure that I actually say and do things first before you start carrying on about me.

To sum everything up, I would like to be your friend, because I don't like being at odds with people. Hell, I can hate a person and still sit back saying "God, for all the reasons why I hate this person, I still wish that things would just work out and we could all just get along" (besides my mother-in-law, she is just an evil person that destroys souls and there is no hope for :bigrin:). I think the thing that really REALLY got to me is that I just didn't understand it. When I was your age, I was living about 15 hours away from my family and friends and pregnant with my first child. Now, only a few year older than you are, I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old. I am also a full time student and a wife to a military man who is about to be deploying in a few months, leaving me here alone with the babies away from family and friends again, in a state that I am not used to and that I've only lived in since November! If I ever behaved without tact, I not only caught shit from my peers, but I felt like a bad mother and adult. Yes, I am still young and I do have my moments considering I've never been able to live the carefree life of the teenager who can say whatever she wants without having to worry about being a bad role model. I know you are not like me, and I never expect you or anyone else to be since that is an absurd expectation for any individual to have of others, but it just seemed that your harsh behavior was just a reminder to me as to why so many adults have a stigma about my life and my actions before they truly get to know me, all because I am young.

I am by no means a child, and this is why I originally started this thread. I am not willing to go on indefinitely "feuding" with someone on this site if it is not a necessity. I am glad to have finally seen a mature side of you by you responding, and I'm hoping that this will finally clear some things up and allow us to learn from our mistakes.

By the way, I kind of am a fatass bitch, so you don't have to really feel sorry about that lol. I do think that you are a cute girl as well. Please, put yourself in other people's shoes before you let things come flying out, be respectful, and show me that you you are as beautiful a person (inside and out) that I know you can be.

[csrakate]

Nikki,
Before you go off believing that I am coming here to rag on you about your situation with Rissa, I want to say quite emphatically that I have no intention of doing that. I just wanted to help you understand something that perhaps may not have crossed your mind the other night when you suggested that Dani get out of her depression by "having a few drinks, getting laid and taking a vacation". I don't think you understand exactly WHY your response was met with such anger. I am sure that in your own way you thought you were helping by stating how you feel a person should approach life, but what you failed to realize is that your suggestion, however well intended, was not appropriate to say to someone who suffers from clinical depression. That suggestion may aid someone in getting out of a funk from day to day life, but when someone struggles with true depression, no amount of alcohol, sex or vacations can do a damn thing. There are many causes of depression and genetic, biochemical, environmental, and psychosocial factors may play a role. BUT, depression is not a personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. It has to be treated. Dani was not only seeking support from us but advice as to how to obtain that treatment and coming in on the tail end of that situation and saying what you did seemed callous and hurtful. I never intended to jump on you about it but after I tried to explain the situation to you, you just insisted on repeating your suggestion once more and added fuel to an already out of control fire by expounding on it and getting defensive. I am sorry for being harsh because that is truly not the way I am, but I was frustrated by what I perceived as a "don't give a damn" attitude from you. I will always defend someone's right to speak their mind and give their opinions, but when they are presented without regard to the feelings of another, I feel compelled to step in.

Please understand that no one wishes to have issues with you, nor do we want to continue with some sort of pissing match pertaining to that night. I would also like to put this entire episode behind us and move ahead, but before we do, I just felt the need to explain to you once and for all why things took the turn that they did. I think we all need to take a deep breath and start over....this time fully understanding where we all were coming from and realizing how things turned out the way that they did.

Take care,
Kate

[BumbleB]

Jesus christ some people on this website.

If you make it THIS HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE I wouldn't see it worth trying (in my opinion!). And honestly, it's the internet, I don't lose sleep because some of you people don't have favor in me.

Where's the maturity? Why doesn't everyone just say sorry and move on, if everyone forgives easy, doesn't hold grudges then why are these arguments pop up?

I just had a complete awful day, and shit like this, in the end doesn't matter. Everything awful about my day, mattered then, doesn't now. If you don't get along fine, don't pester each other if you do then great. So we are fine now everyones cool, sweet. :rolleyes:

[Lonewolf76]

Nikki,
Before you go off believing that I am coming here to rag on you about your situation with Rissa, I want to say quite emphatically that I have no intention of doing that. I just wanted to help you understand something that perhaps may not have crossed your mind the other night when you suggested that Dani get out of her depression by "having a few drinks, getting laid and taking a vacation". I don't think you understand exactly WHY your response was met with such anger. I am sure that in your own way you thought you were helping by stating how you feel a person should approach life, but what you failed to realize is that your suggestion, however well intended, was not appropriate to say to someone who suffers from clinical depression. That suggestion may aid someone in getting out of a funk from day to day life, but when someone struggles with true depression, no amount of alcohol, sex or vacations can do a damn thing. There are many causes of depression and genetic, biochemical, environmental, and psychosocial factors may play a role. BUT, depression is not a personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. It has to be treated. Dani was not only seeking support from us but advice as to how to obtain that treatment and coming in on the tail end of that situation and saying what you did seemed callous and hurtful. I never intended to jump on you about it but after I tried to explain the situation to you, you just insisted on repeating your suggestion once more and added fuel to an already out of control fire by expounding on it and getting defensive. I am sorry for being harsh because that is truly not the way I am, but I was frustrated by what I perceived as a "don't give a damn" attitude from you. I will always defend someone's right to speak their mind and give their opinions, but when they are presented without regard to the feelings of another, I feel compelled to step in.

Please understand that no one wishes to have issues with you, nor do we want to continue with some sort of pissing match pertaining to that night. I would also like to put this entire episode behind us and move ahead, but before we do, I just felt the need to explain to you once and for all why things took the turn that they did. I think we all need to take a deep breath and start over....this time fully understanding where we all were coming from and realizing how things turned out the way that they did.

Take care,
Kate

Very well spoken Kate! I just want to go on record as saying that my opinions were also my own and I satand behind them. LW

[rissababynta]

Jesus christ some people on this website.

If you make it THIS HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE I wouldn't see it worth trying (in my opinion!). And honestly, it's the internet, I don't lose sleep because some of you people don't have favor in me.

Where's the maturity? Why doesn't everyone just say sorry and move on, if everyone forgives easy, doesn't hold grudges then why are these arguments pop up?

I just had a complete awful day, and shit like this, in the end doesn't matter. Everything awful about my day, mattered then, doesn't now. If you don't get along fine, don't pester each other if you do then great. So we are fine now everyones cool, sweet. :rolleyes:

Oh I'm so shocked that you responded with something less than pleasant...

[vittoria]

:soapbox:

Need I say more?

[rissababynta]

:soapbox:

Need I say more?

Umm, I don't know what exactly you were trying to say on your soap box so maybe you do lmao.

[csrakate]

Jesus christ some people on this website.

If you make it THIS HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE I wouldn't see it worth trying (in my opinion!). And honestly, it's the internet, I don't lose sleep because some of you people don't have favor in me.

Where's the maturity? Why doesn't everyone just say sorry and move on, if everyone forgives easy, doesn't hold grudges then why are these arguments pop up?

I just had a complete awful day, and shit like this, in the end doesn't matter. Everything awful about my day, mattered then, doesn't now. If you don't get along fine, don't pester each other if you do then great. So we are fine now everyones cool, sweet. :rolleyes:

I just don't get it...I made every effort to make amends and to settle things in a calm, mannerly fashion and this is what I get in response???? And as long as you feel it necessary to comment, why do YOU need to get involved in the first place if you don't give a shit???? Things would have gone so much smoother the other night had you not jumped in and agitated things. Do us all a favor, BumbleB....you obviously don't like anyone here....you have issues with so many of us and you never cease to make those issues quite public....so why don't you just find somewhere else to spew your vitriol??? I, for one, am tired of your proclamations of maturity when you are so obviously unable to conduct yourself in a mature fashion!!!

And with that, Nikki...I still extend my apologies to you with hopes that we can put this all behind us....and BumbleB..whatever else you may wish to add will be falling on deaf ears from now on.

[rissababynta]

I just don't get it...I made every effort to make amends and to settle things in a calm, mannerly fashion and this is what I get in response???? And as long as you feel it necessary to comment, why do YOU need to get involved in the first place if you don't give a shit???? Things would have gone so much smoother the other night had you not jumped in and agitated things. Do us all a favor, BumbleB....you obviously don't like anyone here....you have issues with so many of us and you never cease to make those issues quite public....so why don't you just find somewhere else to spew your vitriol??? I, for one, am tired of your proclamations of maturity when you are so obviously unable to conduct yourself in a mature fashion!!!

And with that, Nikki...I still extend my apologies to you with hopes that we can put this all behind us....and BumbleB..whatever else you may wish to add will be falling on deaf ears from now on.


I, too, was searching her post for the maturity which she claimed that we all had none of (it's ok, I'm sure that doesn't make sense either...). So far, we have all been civil, and happy, and working things out. We are getting along with Nikki, and trying to work through our issues, and then this? I can't say I'm surprised...The only one that seems to be immature in this thread is you Bumble, because you can't seem to overcome this desire to agitate people when it is entirely not necessary.

[proseros]

LOL!:cutelaugh:LOL!
I'm sorry this is just too funny!
Let's fight about being friends.LOL!

I'm glad y'all aint got no guns or bombs! By the time you got around to resolving anything you'd all be dead.

[csrakate]

Proseros...I can assure you that I am far from violent and it takes a great deal to get me angry. I know it seems laughable for someone who wasn't involved in the incident to which we are referring, but as mature adults, many of us find it difficult to have such a spat where feelings get hurt and intentions get misconstrued without making some sort of attempt to smooth things over. All anyone was attempting to do was bury the hatchet...and NO...not in anyone's skull LOL! Things would have ended nicely had it not been for further agitation. Please don't belittle attempts at keeping the peace....it was well intentioned and should have ended where it did.

Kate

[proseros]

And that's exactly the point and exactly why I'm laughing even harder now.
No I'm not belittling anything, but then it's not my fault you would think so or take my comments personally to begin with or suggest that I am suggesting anyone is violent-but then [a]there is already enough contention here to begin with and [b]the thread istelf seems to aire, contention and conflict in order to resolve it.

But then, it's not your fault I see it that way.

And now we can both laugh together, even harder.

*Hugs*

[rissababynta]

Hell, I got a good laugh last night at us all being called immature for trying to work through our issues lmao! How down right childish of us! :tong:

And pro, sometimes conflict needs to be aired out to get the best result of civility in the end...

[csrakate]

And that's exactly the point and exactly why I'm laughing even harder now.
No I'm not belittling anything, but then it's not my fault you would think so or take my comments personally to begin with or suggest that I am suggesting anyone is violent-but then [a]there is already enough contention here to begin with and [b]the thread istelf seems to aire, contention and conflict in order to resolve it.

But then, it's not your fault I see it that way.

And now we can both laugh together, even harder.

*Hugs*

LOL pro....things just do seem to get deeper and deeper don't they? And yes...I am laughing now....All is well...it's a new day....and sometimes we simply MUST laugh at ourselves!!:bigrin:

[rissababynta]

LOL pro....things just do seem to get deeper and deeper don't they? And yes...I am laughing now....All is well...it's a new day....and sometimes we simply MUST laugh at ourselves!!:bigrin:

I laugh at myelf all of the time but it's usually because I had a ditz moment, like forgetting how many bathrooms I have in my house...:(

[chook]

Fight ya bastards........I hate peace. :tongue:



Cheers Chook.......:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Chook! Dont Make me come boob bop you! lol.
The girls are handling the situation, so let Them work it out. Its up to them to fix. :}
Cat

[rissababynta]

Fight ya bastards........I hate peace. :tongue:



Cheers Chook.......:bigrin:

LMFAO oh my god I love you Chook haha

[Lonewolf76]

Chook! Dont Make me come boob bop you! lol.
The girls are handling the situation, so let Them work it out. Its up to them to fix. :}
Cat

Boob Bop - sounds most enticing!!! LOL Howllllllll LW

[Falke]

Jesus christ some people on this website.

If you make it THIS HARD TO FORGIVE SOMEONE I wouldn't see it worth trying (in my opinion!). And honestly, it's the internet, I don't lose sleep because some of you people don't have favor in me.


Very well said! It is only the interwebs. If you step on someones toes inadvertently or not...well...who cares?

[rissababynta]

Obviously...I do. And ya know what? There are no hard feelings between us anymore and we don't have to be uncomfortable everytime we want to go into a chatroom when other is there.

The way I see it, everyone always sits here and speaks of this place being a loving and caring community. So, if a spat happens that has a chance at being fixable so this place can STAY a loving and caring community with EVERYONE...what is so wrong with that?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Very well said Rissa! The spat is over and now friendship can begin again. There are fights and disagreements in Any family, this one is no different. We've all just got to learn how to get along, and talk through the problem and come up with a viable solution. Plain and simple.
And there Always has to be one of two that has to love distension and loves to start trouble; Ignore those people. They, like the trolls, dont really matter.
OK, on with the party! lol:bibounce::bigrin::tongue:
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

P.S. Oh and Bumble? If you dont like this website(as you are always back biting the people here and running it down) why dont you go find a nice little safe place where you can feel free to say/do what you do best? And dont let the door smack you on the ass on your way out.
Cat

[smurf111978]

Very well said! It is only the interwebs. If you step on someones toes inadvertently or not...well...who cares?


I wasn't there the other night but I feel I have to answer this. YES I DO CARE, just because its the Internet it doesn't mean people have the right to hurt others or indeed that online friendships are some lesser kind of friendship and don't matter. I have online friends that I have shared far more with than friends living near to me.

I'll give you an example, here in the UK a Royal Marine who had blown legs blown off by an anti-tank mine in Afghanistan was refused permission for his grandfather to build a small Disabled friendly bungalow on land he owned. With a support group on facebook and some press coverage over 200,000 people WHO CARED joined the group offering their help and support resulting in the council backing down and reconsidered there position, all because people online CARED enough.

I'll pre empt what I suspect some may be thinking... I'm not naive and I'm very careful about who I trust both on and off line.

I support everything you said in your first post Kate. suffering from various types of depression my self caused by neurological factors of my health problems... I know how hard it can be to get through each day and however hard you try to pull yourself through the depression nothing works.

I hope we can all stay friends, give a caring attitude to those who need it, respect each other and above all have some fun.

Respectfully
Smurfie

[Doggiestyle]

Sticks & stones may break my bones............................................. But whips & chains excite me.:bigrin:


Your friend, Doggie.....:doggie:......:flag3:

[rissababynta]

Aaaaa, I must say that is a favorite saying of mine right there Doggie haha.