I feel like I want to die

[Dani78]

I am dying a little every day. I'm in a spiral of pain, colnfusion, I'm so sad I don't know why. Will a new baby hurt or relationship. Maybe I'm not pretty enough or sexy enough. Is he really gay? I have so many questions. If I'm not satisfied maybe he's not. Am I worthy of my hubby.I'm rambling my thoughts and feelings. I don't want to go back to the hospital. If I could only stop crying. Please God please help me!!! Thanks 4 listening sorry I'm all over the place.

[still_shy]

Dani
You absolutely have to get help hun. I've watched your posts get worse as time goes on, please don't let any more time go by without consulting someone. Your cries for help don't go unheard here. You need someone to talk to about all of these things that are swirling through your head, someone trained to help and listen. I've had quite a few problems of the same sort and I now how hard it is to ask for help. But....it does get better with the proper treatment, something you desperately need.

[onewhocares]

Dani,

I know what you are going through my friend.

FIRST...DO NOT do anything rash. You must get help...you can not let this situation consume you. I agree that I too see you slipping into a hole that perhaps you do not feel you will be able to get out of....you WILL.

SECOND.... We will all try and offer you support, encouragement, understanding and hope...but YOU have to help us help YOU. Trust me when I say......many of us ( particularly the straight wifes of bi men) have been in your shoes and have had all the feelings and insecurities that you are sharing with us. One thing which I have come to learn is that it is NOT you. It seems it is natural for women in our position to assume that we are not able to provide our men with the right ingredients to make US happy....that we are flawed or not good enough. That is not the case..many years of self doubt, sorrow, more tears than a river can hold has taught me ( and others) that we are not to be blamed nor are we the cause of our mens desire to be with another man. It is within their make up.

THIRD....I know that this next point has been brought up in your other threads and the advice was given by several folks. Perhaps instead of trying to fight the feelings you have..you need to talk and talk again with your husband. Make him communicate his wants, fears, desires and YOU share your fears, wants, concerns and desires with him. Do not be like me who for so long kept my thoughts to myself. It turns out it was the worst thing that I could have done..it served no purpose other than to compound my worries. In my case I never wanted to put myself in a position of wanting more. Now years later, I am in a much better place and see where I spent so much wasted time when I could have been enjoying and loving the man I married. Are things perfect, alas no...but we are working together, talking, sharing and exploring new directions.

FOURTH....and this is just a suggestion. Why not embrace the new relationship that you have with your husband and lover and try and all grow together.

Know that we are always here for you Dani.

Belle


Please do not think that I am preaching and such. It was not my intention. I have always felt that when I came to this site in search of hope, insight, answers, understanding and such, I was given....compassion, hope, trust, confidence, insight and so so much more that I have always felt that to whom much has been given, much is expected and I want to give back to another.

[rissababynta]

Ok, there is not much more I can say that has't already been said. It's time to get help.

And might I add that I find it sad that this thread had been viewed 53 times (as of this moment) and only THREE damn people have responded back to someone who obviously and desperately needs something comforting said. Even if you don't know what to say, you can't simply post "We are here for you" or something like that?

[onewhocares]

Ok, there is not much more I can say that has already been said. It's time to get help.

And might I add that I find it said that this thread had been viewed 53 times (as of this moment) and only THREE damn people have responded back to someone who obviously and desperately needs something comforting said. Even if you don't know what to say, you can't simply post "We are here for you" or something like that?


Rissa....How perceptive of you....What does that say about the kind of people that we have here? Just because we may not know Dani or all of the facts about the situation...being kind and compassionate to a fellow member who is asking for our help. Lest we all be in her shoes. I am taken aback by the insensitivity to others. Shame on those who show no concern....we are more than just a site to talk about cock size, big tits, politics, jokes, the weather and chatting. Open up your heart for one day you might find YOURSELF in need of a friend!

Belle

[bret5668]

Quite simply, Dani, you must consider obtaining professional help toy deal with your thoughts, feelings, and emotional standing. Best wishes to you in your efforts.

As far as criticizing (Rissa) those who have chosen not to reply to this thread, there are people in this world that have absolutely no idea how to respond to this type of post, there are others who may view it as a self pity issue and just don't care, there also are many that simply just choose not to get involved.

Personally I find it offensive to suggest that more people who have read this post need to get involved by responding to it.

Good Luck Dani, please seek out the help you appear to be in need of.

[ladydelanie]

Dani,

Please know that many people are here, reading, feeling your pain and wanting to help.... Please seek help. There are may agencies out there that are free.
If you need assistance finding one please let me know. I would be more then willing to help in any way possible.....

May you find the peace in your heart you are seeking,

Ladyd

[rissababynta]

Quite simply, Dani, you must consider obtaining professional help toy deal with your thoughts, feelings, and emotional standing. Best wishes to you in your efforts.

As far as criticizing (Rissa) those who have chosen not to reply to this thread, there are people in this world that have absolutely no idea how to respond to this type of post, there are others who may view it as a self pity issue and just don't care, there also are many that simply just choose not to get involved.

Personally I find it offensive to suggest that more people who have read this post need to get involved by responding to it.

Good Luck Dani, please seek out the help you appear to be in need of.


I personally find it offensive to have people be curious to the point where they what to get involved enough to look at a post titled " I feel like I want to die" and that's where it stops...as if you can't imagine what it could possibly be about...

Not for nothing I mentioned in my other post that people might not know quite what to say so it's not like you are3 telling me anything new.

[bret5668]

Grow up, rissa, i wasn't attempting to tell you anything you didn't already know, seeing as you seem to know it all already

[GalacticiaActual]

Dani - Your post contains questions that can only be answered by your boyfriend, and you should talk to him about the situation as soon as possible. We are certainly here to support you, but we are not the ones with those answers.
It's obvious that you have embarked on a journey that you weren't ready for. Everything will be okay, but you need to pull yourself together and make the necessary corrections to put yourself back on track.
If at all possible, seek some advice from a professional counselor who can advise you at a more detailed and personal level.

I know you can do it.
Good luck! :)

[rissababynta]

Grow up, rissa, i wasn't attempting to tell you anything you didn't already know, seeing as you seem to know it all already

You're right, I'M the one that sounds like I have to grow up. ;)

[someotherguy]

I am dying a little every day. I'm in a spiral of pain, colnfusion, I'm so sad I don't know why. Will a new baby hurt or relationship. Maybe I'm not pretty enough or sexy enough. Is he really gay? I have so many questions. If I'm not satisfied maybe he's not. Am I worthy of my hubby.I'm rambling my thoughts and feelings. I don't want to go back to the hospital. If I could only stop crying. Please God please help me!!! Thanks 4 listening sorry I'm all over the place.
Replace "I feel I want to die" with "I am depressed and need help" and you'll be on the right track. Everyone gets depressed at some point in life. Depression is just another illness and so the help for it comes from doctors. The dismal thoughts are symptoms of depression. Even the dismal thought that talking to a doctor would be pointless is a symptom of depression. Depression is pretty well understood and there are effective therapies or treatments for it and your case is no exception. Plenty of other people have been through what you are experiencing, asked for help, got help and recovered. You can too.

Forum people can sympathize but tend to play along with the neediness of desperation and don't provide the medical care a doctor would. View your depression as a temporary form of mental illness and get medical help from a doctor, to fix it. Then you will no longer be depressed and the dismal thoughts will return to normal ones, meaning you will still be just as bamboozled by life as everyone else but you won't feel bad about it.

The specific issues you have in your personal life, relationship, etc. are being distorted by depression to seem hopeless and dire. Things seem bad because your mind is unable to think well, it is ill and overwhelmed, and that is all a symptom of depression. To be able to think clearly and to your advantage again, get medical help for the depression.

Did I mention that depression is an illness that you should tell a doctor about?

[rissababynta]

Replace "I feel I want to die" with "I am depressed and need help" and you'll be on the right track.


I absolutely love this statement.

[Lonewolf76]

Dani,
Sweetie - you DO need to talk to someone - in the flesh. Life is complicated and life is hard (and even more so today) ... there is no shame or weakness in reaching out and asking for help. You need to call someone TODAY and see a therapist or counselor to help you work through these issues. We all need help from time to time. The strong and wise among us know that and reach for it when needed. I know from your previous posts that you ARE both strong and wise. Sometimes things pile up within us and we do get confused - help can sort out that confusion for you. Do yourself and your realtionship a HUGE favor - seek that help today - You'll feel so much better for it. Honey, You are in my prayers and thoughts. Call today!!! LW

[Dani78]

Thanx every one I'm sorry for rambling this morning. I'm okay though. Don't worry about me. I'm just tired. If I stay busy I will get through it. I'm just a little sad last night I just thinking too much. I will be okay I promise I just need to let it out sometimes. My mom says get over it and my hubby says nothing so I can't talk to either of them and I don't have any friends here in NV. So I just need someone to listen. So thanks. I will get through it I just had to much time to think about my life.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

**So I just need someone to listen. So thanks. I will get through it I just had to much time to think about my life.**

Honeygirl, you are on the right track by getting it out Here, its a start, but you need more help than you need hugs from people on a site. What you need is Professional help, and we cannot give that to you. You need help in the real world and I ask you to get it NOW. A Baby is a wonderful thing, but dont use it as a pawn to make things better if they arent. Get some help Now. Dont let this go on and continue to tear you up inside. Do it for You.
Hugs Sweetheart.
Cat

[rassilon953]

I'm really sorry to hear you're so upset. If you were in Britain, I'd ask you to discuss things with your doctor, who might be able to point you in a direction which could help, but I don't know how things work in NV, nor do I even know where that is. I feel powerless to help, so I can only offer words. None of us is alone as we sometimes feel we are. Maybe the folks here can help make you feel better, maybe there's an advice line you could call, perhaps there's a neighbour you get on with who would really welcome getting to know you better and who would feel honoured if you approached him or her in confidence. I've never been through what you're going through, so I don't know what it's like, but I have been through emotional suffering and I know there's nothing worse than feeling you've got nobody to talk to. One of the things I once did, which really helped me when I was suffering the most, was get out my address book, get on a train and go visit someone I'd met once on holiday about six months earlier. Being able to talk to her, knowing she wasn't in contact with anybody else who knew me, meant I felt totally free to talk to her about everything that I was locking up inside.

And that's the summary of everything I'd like you to hear, please- don't sit, alone, thinking. When you're this upset, another person's thoughts are essential. It doesn't really matter who it is, so much, but you have to talk to somebody.

I've not read any of your other posts, but I bet that your partner would be really upset if he understood how upset you are, so please don't rule him out of the people to whom you could open up.

Anyway, enough from me. Please look after yourself! xxx

[Shhhhh 47/F/usa]

Dani, I have been in your place. My advice is to seek counseling for both you and your husband together. Getting the lines of communication open between you two is the only way to figure it all out. My next advice is...do not have a child to try and fix your relationship problems. It will not work. It may seem to make a positive difference in the short run because it will be a new distraction but the distraction will not erase what ever problems there may be in your relationship and the newness will fade. Using a child as a "fix it" is a selfish thing to do. Remember, I speak from experience. Get professional help as soon as possible. If hubby won't go (like mine wouldn't) then go by yourself. I'd love to be able to say something more soothing to you but having been where you are I know the harsh reality of your situation. So no more seeking nicey nice words and get on with the hard work ahead of you if you really want to make the relationship with your hubby a good one. God bless you.

[Bi-Zarro]

I hope things work out for Dani. I wish I was better at offering advice.

[Realist]

Dear Dani

I had a mother and wife, who, like your mom and husband, did nothing to help me with depression caused by series of traumatic marital situations. I begged for an open heart and someone to listen, but they either would not listen, or acted as though they were, but didn't.

I finally sought professional help and the therapist showed me a choice of paths to take that put me back on my feet. Like someone else said, I could not think clearly and it seemed every choice I had lead to desperation.

But, with professional help, things that had been so overwhelming, became a simple action that helped me solve my troubles. The action I took has no bearing on what may be best for you, but I was renewed and happy, after I took the proper route. The depression that lasted a long time, was quickly and cleanly brought to a halt and, like the sun after a drenching rain, everything seemed fresh and new again. I was amazed at the outcome and happiness that followed.

I hope and pray that you find a solution soon and realize that you can be happy, with with the proper corrective actions. We love you!

[alegrias]

For what it's worth . . . I just checked out this thread. I read the responses and decided that I couldn't offer better advice than what has already been given. It appears that several responders know the original poster better than I do too, so they are better equipped to respond to her.

I wouldn't have posted at all, but I don't want to be accused of not caring.:2cents:

[writes at night]

Dani,

I feel compelled to answer your post. As someone who suffers from clinical depression, and has sought professional help, I can't help but want to hug you and take you to a GLBT/ family friendly councelor to help you work through what is happening in your world right now.

Please know that there are some things that are just too big for us to handle on our own. Depression is an illness, and as such requires treatment from a medical professional. You have not failed yourself, your family or your husband, and you deserve to take care of yourself.

Know that you are not alone in your struggle, and if you need to, please feel free to message me. I'll be happy to be a shoulder to lean on.

Writes....

[csrakate]

For what it's worth . . . I just checked out this thread. I read the responses and decided that I couldn't offer better advice than what has already been given. It appears that several responders know the original poster better than I do too, so they are better equipped to respond to her.

I wouldn't have posted at all, but I don't want to be accused of not caring.:2cents:

I know what you mean, alegrias and I have to throw my :2cents: in as well as to the accusations of not caring because of the lack of response. There are also those of us who have answered previous appeals repeatedly yet to no avail. While a person's advice is always given without expectations of that person following it, there also comes a time when the advice runs out and those who offer it feel frustrated about giving any more. They have done all that they can, offered advice to the best to their ability and have made themselves available to that person if and ever they feel the need to vent or receive support. Please know that I am not necessarily referring to the OP in this case, but for anyone to make accusations of not caring because of so few responses is not fair, to say the least. You also have no knowledge of the many people who may have responded PRIVATELY due to possibly NOT wanting to repeatedly air this person's personal pain in a public forum

Be careful what you accuse others of....especially when it comes to not caring. Don't be so holier than thou that you make assumptions that may not be warranted.

Now back to the thread...Dani, you know I am here if you need me....and I hope you are still aware of that fact.

Hugs,
Kate

[elian]

<nuzzles> Dani - hang in there hon - the worst thing you can do is back yourself into a corner right now - just breathe A lot of men are ashamed or afraid to admit they like other men - so if you felt you have been lied to, maybe that is true - hopefully your husband loves you as he did before you knew he liked men. Hearing this news may have seemed like an instant shock to you but most people's feelings don't just change overnight. He may have just been afraid to say anything..I mean he did fall in love with you once right? Hopefully those feelings are still there.

I just read your other post Dani, about your last intimate time together - physical and romantic love can be two different things - are you sure he doesn't care about you at all on at least SOME level? It doesn't surprise me that you didn't orgasm - if you were unsure of yourself and this situation you were likely to be nervous or distracted .. when I'm nervous I don't enjoy sex that much either. Geesh girl, give yourself a break and breathe - everything will be OK.

Seeking professional advice is a good idea - and if you are having a child that is great - but please don't put the child in the middle of this conflict..if a child is already coming then the child deserves the unconditional love of both of you and I would hope that BOTH of you would be willing to do that in some form or other.

If you are only contemplating having a child, especially if it's just to "keep" your husband then he's likely to resent that fact if he ever finds out, the child may suffer if you really aren't ready to commit to the effort it takes - it would be much better to work through the issue BEFORE you have a baby if you can help it.

As so many others have said you both need to communicate as openly as possible. Would suggest that you both need to listen with an open heart and mind, try to really think about what the other person is saying and not judge too quickly. If the situation is too uncomfortable then maybe a professional counselor can help you both communicate. If he refuses to, then go and seek counseling separately for your own health.

For the 2c on the forum undercurrent - there are lots of folks who probably do care but don't feel qualified to offer advice..I'm certainly no professional myself - but I've been in panic type situations before - and I think one of the worst things you can do is worry yourself into believing you have no options.

[Dani78]

Thank everyone and I do want help just no mental health insurance and the suicide hot line didn't help. Any suggestions please!!! I have been here before and am very scared. Some of you have been my life line I love you belle! You all have made me think of things that I should have been thinking of. But its not only this situation that has me like this and a baby is possibly already coming I'm too scared to find out. Also I have had people contact me privately. Anyone who can help me get thru the nights pls do I'm not sleeping any more and that's when I feel the lowest in the dark and quiet times. Anyways thanks and I will until I am able to find some where to go come here and to suicide hotline

Dani

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I know that I personally Did contact you off line and all that any of us can do now is to give you advise and guide you, but you Have to stop giving excuses babygirl. Only You can help you now. I'm not trying to be a hard ass, I just want you to get the help you so desperatly need, and you need it Now, honey-girl. If you have to, go to your closest Mental Health clinic or hospital and Find someone There to talk to. Your situation is such that You need to take matters into your own hands and make those important steps yourSelf. We're Here, but you need to begin helping yourself too..
Spirits bless sweetie.
Hugs...
Cat

[evilpanda]

I just wanted to let you know that I am concerned. I don't really have any advice, at least, nothing that hasn't already been said so perfectly by everyone else... and, even though you don't know me, I can tell you my relationship history makes me the last person you should be taking advice from.

But, I know pain when I hear it. And, I've heard enough sob stories about cheaters and dumpers to know the difference between dumb high school crap and real pain. I hear you.

I can tell you this, if this gives you hope. I happen to know for a fact that, no matter how bad things get, there is always a way out. I know someone who has been through the worst kind of chick pain I've ever heard (ending in the death of a woman he loved) and he made it out in one piece, without once having to surrender himself to a drug, a drink, or a religion. Today, he says the worst kind of pollution in the world is wasted lives.

What my friend means by that is, everyone matters. You matter. Your life matters. There are complete strangers on this forum who care about you, and that's probably small compared to the people in your real life.

[elian]

Maybe the extra stress of having a baby is putting a strain on both of you and your relationship - I haven't known you that long so I can only guess.

Why don't you check the blue pages of your local telephone book - I know here in PA the state capital set up a contact switchboard where you can call to get advice on social service agencies and other help - maybe they have something similar in your state?

I think someone above me in this thread may have offered to try and help you find a counselor?

I agree with 'cat - you will get through this, but only if you are patient with yourself, with your husband, with the situation. It is going to take time to work through - you can and will get through this crisis, but you must take a active role in your own mental health - you will feel better if you can take even a few POSITIVE steps toward helping yourself.

I remember a dream I had one time, in those quiet times you mention - my stepdad came to me and he said, "I don't know how you can preach love to other people and still hate yourself so much - you are a gift from God".

At first I didn't like those words - they sounded presumptuous - but then I realized that from the perspective of my parents maybe it is true. It is a blessing to have family, friends and loved ones who care for you - I bet there are people in your life who still love you.

Part of the real growing we do as human beings means that sometimes we can face some very tough challenges. When I am fumbling in this world and I feel so unsure of myself I remember what he said.

[12voltman59]

I did look at this post early on----but did not respond at that point--because I figured that there would be many who would respond in quick fashion and that most would say what I would say----DO GO AND GET SOME SORT OF COUNSELLING--ASAP!!!!

That is what I had basically said in a response I had posted up to one of Dani's previous threads.

It wasn't that I didn't feel for Dani----I do---I just felt that there many others on here who are more qualified than myself to respond to Dani----for one thing--I do get a sense that Dani is fairly young---and I am much older than her---I felt that for me to respond might actually seem more like "the old fart is lecturing and preaching again"--I felt that for someone closer to Dani's age telling her she is in need of some counselling might actually be of more use than for me to do so and more appropriate--therefore much more effective for them to respond instead of me doing so!!

Once again---the community did what it needed to do for one of our own---so for those who did respond--good for you--but you can't diss those who didn't respond----as some noted---many who might have read this post---didn't feel they were qualified or a proper person to make any suggestions to Dani.

That is the way I certainly felt.

[rissababynta]

I know that I personally Did contact you off line and all that any of us can do now is to give you advise and guide you, but you Have to stop giving excuses babygirl. Only You can help you now. I'm not trying to be a hard ass, I just want you to get the help you so desperatly need, and you need it Now, honey-girl. If you have to, go to your closest Mental Health clinic or hospital and Find someone There to talk to. Your situation is such that You need to take matters into your own hands and make those important steps yourSelf. We're Here, but you need to begin helping yourself too..
Spirits bless sweetie.
Hugs...
Cat

Cat is right Dear, you can't make excuses. Having no health insurance is hardly a problem anymore. There is medical assistance programs, free clinics, doctors who charge different prices based off of your income and many more options. If it is that bad, you should go directly to the closest ER and explain to them what is happening. Tell them you don't have the insurance, and they will take care of it from there. Hospitals not only have access to the proper paperwork and have welfare case workers on site, but they also have their own programs to help those who can not afford the bill.

[Dani78]

Thank u rissa 4 giving me a way to get help I have never been without insurance so. I don't know how to get it that's what my last post was asking. Thanking everyone but asking for a way to get the help everyone is telling me to get even though I'm not sure it will help. I will try anything at this point. I started where I knew to start here with all of u. Then I found suicide hotline. I am making an effort please don't get frustrated with me. I promise I am trying but sometimes I just need to get it out somewhere and this is the only place I thought I could but I'm sorry if I'm annoying you all. I know I ramble and can be a pain.. I'm so sorry. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and once again I'm sorry I won't do it again. I will try not to ramble here anymore.

[onewhocares]

Thank u rissa 4 giving me a way to get help I have never been without insurance so. I don't know how to get it that's what my last post was asking. Thanking everyone but asking for a way to get the help everyone is telling me to get even though I'm not sure it will help. I will try anything at this point. I started where I knew to start here with all of u. Then I found suicide hotline. I am making an effort please don't get frustrated with me. I promise I am trying but sometimes I just need to get it out somewhere and this is the only place I thought I could but I'm sorry if I'm annoying you all. I know I ramble and can be a pain.. I'm so sorry. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and once again I'm sorry I won't do it again. I will try not to ramble here anymore.

Dani...

Glad to see that YOU are taking steps to move YOU forward. Is it going to be easy, no I do not think so but YOU have to make the first step. I can imagine how frustrating it is to be in a situation that you have never faced and know not where to turn. We all have been there and the suggestions that have been given here are a good first step. I personally do not see it as rambling but rather a person who is scared and does not know where to turn and came to a place of comfort to ask for guidance. We can share our thoughts, experiences and suggestions on ways to get help, but the first step is up to YOU.

Belle

[gfofbiguy]

Hi Dani,

I live in the Las Vegas area - I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm posting some links that may help you find the assistance you're looking for.

This is for a free assessment at Montevista Hospital here in Las Vegas:

http://www.psysolutions.com/facilities/montevista/assessments.html

This is a link to the Nevada Division of Mental Health and Developmental Services:

http://mhds.nv.gov/

Good luck to you!!

~~gfofbiguy

[Dani78]

Thank you so much I have an appointment at montevista wen at 10am so now to make it til then thanks so much i m new to vegas and didn't know where to go. God bless you. Thank u so much I was starting to think I would never find a place to go and the assesment is free. Thanks again I can't thank u enough.

[rissababynta]

Thank you so much I have an appointment at montevista wen at 10am so now to make it til then thanks so much i m new to vegas and didn't know where to go. God bless you. Thank u so much I was starting to think I would never find a place to go and the assesment is free. Thanks again I can't thank u enough.

Like I said before Dani, I have exerience working as a counselor so I have been the shoulder to cry on quite often. You will make it until then, don't worry. If you find things are starting to get to you again, and need someone to speak to immediately before your appointment day, you can call me. I'm pretty much always home. Just send me a message if you need to and I'll give you my number.

And this goes for ANYONE on this site!


Except the troll...he can kiss my ass...:D

[onewhocares]

Thank you so much I have an appointment at montevista wen at 10am so now to make it til then thanks so much i m new to vegas and didn't know where to go. God bless you. Thank u so much I was starting to think I would never find a place to go and the assesment is free. Thanks again I can't thank u enough.

Dani,

I am SO glad that you made the first step to go an call someone to talk. I know Wednesday may sound like a long way away but just get through ONE day at a time.

Belle

[gfofbiguy]

Dani,

You're welcome. I'm glad you called and have an appointment set up. It is difficult to move to a new place and not know anyone (I remember how I felt when I moved here 12 years ago). You have a lot of support for yourself on here and you will make it to Wednesday :) Take care of yourself and do some little pampering for yourself as well - if not just for the fact it feels good.

~~gfofbiguy

[csrakate]

Dani,
The first step to getting help is admitting that you NEED help. You have done so by making this appointment and I urge you to hang on until Wednesday. Keep that appointment and let us know how it goes. Until then, you know we are here if you need us.

Hugs,
Kate

[mercedes67]

Dani,

I'm glad you will finally be able to get some help. Please don't give up...just hang in there. Things will slowly start to get better and you WILL get better.

God Bless
Gilda

[Love Rainbows]

Hello!!! Hope you feel a little better by now. All I can say is to never give up and to trust God, He will guide you if you ask him for the help you need. Just open your heart and let him thru..... Never feel sorry for expressing your feelings!!! :three:

[CalanderGirl]

Oh dear! I know that feeling very well and struggle from time to time. Please don't wait any longer to seek out the help that you need! Life can be like riding a roller coaster... has it's ups, downs, spins, steap hard climbs, and plunges... just do your best to hold on tight for the ride!!! We, on here, can only listen... unfortunately!

And even though sometimes words fall on deaf ears try someone else!!!

Keep your head and chin up hon!

[BumbleB]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Yaaayyyy! See? I told you that you'd find some info with one of us. :} And I am so happy and proud that you are going to take these steps. Good for you, Babygirl. I dont know what the Soulja Boy song has to do with this, but its good advice in one way. Dance. Move ahead, strive for happiness. Exceel. :}
You can do it Dani. Go for it and dont stop.:bigrin:
Cat

[frikidiki]

Way to go, Dani! I'm sure others have said it, but I'm going to SHOUT it now:

YOU ARE NOT A RAMBLING PAIN IN THE ASS!

I don't know you, but my heart aches for you and your situation, and I'm very glad to see you've started getting the help you need. The first thing you need to learn is that YOU MATTER. Blessed are the meek, poor of spirit, and downtrodden--you know the rest, and you know who said it. Rock on! Let us know how you're doing.

***

Sorry, but I have to speak up about something else.


...I find it sad that this thread had been viewed 53 times (as of this moment) and only THREE damn people have responded back to someone who obviously and desperately needs something comforting said. Even if you don't know what to say, you can't simply post "We are here for you" or something like that?

I'm not trying to be critical, Rissa, but please don't look at the numbers and gauge how caring people in general are on this site. The numbers and especially any lack of caring on any person's part are irrelevant given the responses that are actually contributed. Consider the following.


I hope things work out for Dani. I wish I was better at offering advice.

There were several other statements to this effect, and I hope you have read them carefully. I'm reading this quoted post from BiZarro as an example of why some people were quiet. It's a very serious problem Dani is having and they often don't have anything to contribute because they can't relate, aren't confident in their ability to comfort or advise her on it, or, most likely, have nothing to add to what already has been said. There's nothing inherently wrong with or uncaring about any of these reasons. Dani was told by several people (including myself) in other threads, and possibly on chats, that she should get some counseling, and that sympathy here is not going to be enough. I'm glad to see she finally has done this, and I hope she keeps us posted.

I'm not saying you're totally wrong about people on this site, nor do I care to debate about it. What I am saying is that you cannot presume to know what truly moves in the hearts of others beyond what they say or do, and you should be careful not to judge others too harshly for simply reading and not replying. I am certain that Dani is far less concerned about the silence of any who possibly don't care to reply as she is about the words of the ones that take the time to do so.

[12voltman59]

Dani--I am glad that you posted up what you did---you are not a "rambling pain in the ass" or anything at all on those lines--what you posted was a cry for help and it is good that you were bold enough to have posted it up--it was as brave act----and now that everyone did respond and especially that you found some help and have an appointment to see someone----that is great--much better than if you had suffered in silence and done something rash---and as far as being in a deep dark place---I dare say that many if not most of us here---have been in such a spot too for some reason-----I know I had a time I was--I found a way out and by doing what you did in posting up your thoughts and feelings----you now have a way out now too!!!

Good luck on your appointment---and take care.

[Dani78]

Hey everyone thanks so much for your words of faith. I been up all night this makes 3 days no sleep I feel like I have been drinking coffee and can't stop shaking. I am getting so frustrated. I can't stop crying. My family is sleeping I am going crazy. I'm trying to hold on wed is so far away. I am so scared the sleeping pills don't help I don't want to take anymore. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!! Its sunday a few days to wait. Why can't thwey see me today. Why does it take so long. I'm glad I have somewhere to talk. I am so thankful God brought me to all of you.

[rissababynta]

Hey everyone thanks so much for your words of faith. I been up all night this makes 3 days no sleep I feel like I have been drinking coffee and can't stop shaking. I am getting so frustrated. I can't stop crying. My family is sleeping I am going crazy. I'm trying to hold on wed is so far away. I am so scared the sleeping pills don't help I don't want to take anymore. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!! Its sunday a few days to wait. Why can't thwey see me today. Why does it take so long. I'm glad I have somewhere to talk. I am so thankful God brought me to all of you.

Don't forget, you can call me if you need.

[Realist]

Hang in there, Dani-Girl! Hope you hold out until you can get help. Believe me, I've been through this and things may look dark, but there can be brighter days ahead. It is worth a try...don' give up! There are those who love you and want to see you happy and productive again...I know, I'm one.

[gfofbiguy]

Hey Dani,

Good luck with your appointment today! I'm thinking about you...! Big {{{{{HUGSZ}}}}}

~~Gfofbiguy

[livnlife]

Dani,
I realize there are times we all feel that despair. Know that you can change your destiny, one step @ a time. recognize that others in this world are willing to assist you, just open up and let their energy lift you during these tough times.

[onewhocares]

Just wanted to wish you good luck today. You have made the first step towards the future.

Belle

[Dani78]

Hello everyone I wanted to let you all know I made my appointment today and it was very hard but it helped a little. I was refered to see a doc regularly and I received something to help me sleep. I have been sleep all day. I will meet someone every week. I thank u all for your incouragement and your warm thoughts. I am in a dark place right now but hopefully I will find the light soon. My children hugged and kissed me all day and for the first time in along time I played video games with them for hours they loved it. It was great just leaving the house again. I will give you updates. XOXOXO belle I sent you a message

[rissababynta]

That is wonderful Dani! It will take some time before you are lovin' life again but, you will definitely get there. I'm sure I speak on behalf of us all by saying that we are SO proud of you. Keep up that strength Dear!

[Realist]

You're on your way, now, Dani...don't let up! Folks from all over are pulling for youl! I've been down, too, but with good help and loving friends guiding me, I overcame! The same can work for you, too!

[Lonewolf76]

Way to go Dani! It takes inner strength to admit when we sometimes need help, more inner strenth to ask for it and yet more to go to see someone. You have done all three and proven to YOURSELF that you have that inner strength. That same inner strength will carry you through all the times ahead. We're all very proud of you and sending positive energy and thoughts your way. Keep lookin ahead sweetie - there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the best to you! LW

[rissababynta]

Way to go Dani! It takes inner strength to admit when we sometimes need help, more inner strenth to ask for it and yet more to go to see someone. You have done all three and proven to YOURSELF that you have that inner strength. That same inner strength will carry you through all the times ahead. We're all very proud of you and sending positive energy and thoughts your way. Keep lookin ahead sweetie - there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the best to you! LW

I agree, sometimes the greatest strength is when you can openly admit that you don't have the strength to do things alone.

[onewhocares]

I agree, sometimes the greatest strength is when you can openly admit that you don't have the strength to do things alone.

Rissa no words were ever more true. Dani I am most proud of you for taking the steps to move forward...does not matter if they are little steps, big steps, stumbles or leaps and bounds...as long as they are forward dear girl.

Belle

[Nikki Ninja]

Omg Dani just get laid, your view of life would be ALOT different!:cool:

[csrakate]

Omg Dani just get laid, your view of life would be ALOT different!:cool:

This comment is hardly appropriate at this time....

[Nikki Ninja]

This comment is hardly appropriate at this time....

Well a website like this is NO place to be bitching about your life..sorry if that sounds mean but really its the truth

[csrakate]

Well a website like this is NO place to be bitching about your life..sorry if that sounds mean but really its the truth

Well...you're new and you're young so I'll excuse your insensitivity....but you need to hang around here a bit more before you go making declarations such as this one.

[Vachenzo]

1)Either way, the only way to treat any threat to end one's life is with all seriousness, especially if this person is a member of the community.

2)I have had friends who dealt with depression in the past, and had to help them through incredibly hard times before. When people say that you should see a professional, they're not joking. From first hand experience, it is difficult to support someone who you care immensely about, yet they don't care about themselves. The best thing to do is find someone who is better equipped to aid you. While this community is here to support you, we can do very little from where we are, be it five or five thousand miles away.

[rissababynta]

Well...you're new and you're young so I'll excuse your insensitivity....but you need to hang around here a bit more before you go making declarations such as this one.

Seriously...guess this is another person who thinks that we are all here just to suck each others tits and cocks

[Nikki Ninja]

Seriously...guess this is another person who thinks that we are all here just to suck each others tits and cocks

thats not what I'm getting at. What im saying is this Dani person should be talking about that kind of stuff with someone that is specialized to deal and talk about those kind of problems. Not strangers on the internet like you guys, thats just sad that she has no one else to go to, Im not trying to be a bitch im just being realistic. Or do the easier cheaper way and call 1-800-SUICIDE

[Nikki Ninja]

And maybe you people don't even stop to think for a minute that this could be a desperate attention stunt from a girl seeking attention. Just a thought :smilies12

[Dani78]

Nikki if u read everything I was thinking about ending my life and needed some help finding help and someone here in my area sent me info and I went to get help. You are the type of person that the people in my life are like and the reason why I had to turn to strangers. These people have helped me and shame on you for thinking so badly of people. I got help with a little help from my friends here. You're still a kid baby so when you are a woman like most of us here you will learn life is not so cut and dry. I just hope you never go thru this.

[csrakate]

And maybe you people don't even stop to think for a minute that this could be a desperate attention stunt from a girl seeking attention. Just a thought :smilies12

For someone who has just joined this site, you have already managed to alienate yourself with your catty attitude and lack of compassion. The people to whom you are addressing have followed Dani's situation since she joined, we know of the difficulties she has faced and we have offered support advising her to seek professional help which she did. So don't come waltzing in here with that giant chip on your shoulder and further complicate matters with your ludicrous remarks. Like I said before, spend a bit more time around here before you judge others and by all means, learn a bit of restraint when speaking of something you know nothing about.

[darkeyes]

And maybe you people don't even stop to think for a minute that this could be a desperate attention stunt from a girl seeking attention. Just a thought :smilies12This site me luffly is moren jus an entertainment an sex site.. is also a site wer those of us wiv trubbles can get support an advice bout ther situation... sure sum peeps seek attention (me bein a rite lil attention seeker for starters in me own way sumtimes... well often) but not usually wen they r in deep poop or depressed for woteva reason..so hav lil compassion as Mumsie sez an try an b a lil more undastandin a wy this site exists an wy peeps such as Dani use it as they dus..:)

[BabyDoll_1085]

There is really nothing to add on Dani.
so many people have said so many things and there is kick butt advice in this thread
if you choose not to do what they are suggesting than you are cheating yourself
get the help you need
and everyone will support you
hope everything turns out ok!
*BIG HUG*

[rissababynta]

And maybe you people don't even stop to think for a minute that this could be a desperate attention stunt from a girl seeking attention. Just a thought :smilies12

And maybe you don't stop to think for a minute that it might e a good idea to read the whole thread before being critical considering that she mentioned that she had called a hotline and it didn't help.

Not for nothing it's ignorance and behavior like this that had always made me feel out of place a few years ago. I rarely acted the way I was expected to at 18. Hell I was with my husband and pregnant with the first at 18 but I never quite fit in with many adults because they expected me to act like a "teen" and I never fit in with "teens" because I knew that I couldn't stand the typical behavior of my peers. Grow up please and stop making all of us young people look bad.

I decided to add this after I made my post haha. Also, everyone here is very open and loving and accepting. One thing we can't stand is intolerance of others. You've been here long enough to only make 6 posts and have already managed to aggrevate the loving regulars who are here. Now, people here are notorious for forgiving and forgetting so it's not a HUGE deal. Anything you say or do that is hurtful here is easily redeemable with all of us. No one here will ever hold a grudge against you, unless you decide to remain as critical as you have shown in this thread. If you want the full and wonderful experience of this site and what we all have to offer, just keep this in mind please.

[csrakate]

I decided to add this after I made my post haha. Also, everyone here is very open and loving and accepting. One thing we can't stand is intolerance of others. You've been here long enough to only make 6 posts and have already managed to aggrevate the loving regulars who are here. Now, people here are notorious for forgiving and forgetting so it's not a HUGE deal. Anything you say or do that is hurtful here is easily redeemable with all of us. No one here will ever hold a grudge against you, unless you decide to remain as critical as you have shown in this thread. If you want the full and wonderful experience of this site and what we all have to offer, just keep this in mind please.

Very well put, Rissa...and shows a great deal of maturity for one so young! LOL!! But you speak the truth in this case...we are forgiving if one is able to accept constructive "criticism" and redeem themselves. Personally I hated that I came across so harshly in my responses, but there is one thing I cannot tolerate and that's insensitivity towards others, especially when someone makes an uninformed statement such as the ones we've seen in this thread. This group is very open and accepting of all people who come here, and we welcome our "newbies" with open arms, no matter what their age, sexual persuasion or even perversion/fetish (within reason of course LOL)...but that being said, such a person is never met with much of a welcome when they slap us in the face with insensitive remarks so quickly upon joining. I always urge people to give this site some time before coming to conclusions as to what this site is all about, to allow themselves to get to know us all before drawing conclusions as to our "purpose" and above all, to be open and accepting of all who enter through this site as to their needs and/or intent when they post such heart aching appeals. Making rash judgments is never proper, but definitely not when they know nothing of the background of the person involved.

Kate

[onewhocares]

Very well put, Rissa...and shows a great deal of maturity for one so young! LOL!! But you speak the truth in this case...we are forgiving if one is able to accept constructive "criticism" and redeem themselves. Personally I hated that I came across so harshly in my responses, but there is one thing I cannot tolerate and that's insensitivity towards others, especially when someone makes an uninformed statement such as the ones we've seen in this thread. This group is very open and accepting of all people who come here, and we welcome our "newbies" with open arms, no matter what their age, sexual persuasion or even perversion/fetish (within reason of course LOL)...but that being said, such a person is never met with much of a welcome when they slap us in the face with insensitive remarks so quickly upon joining. I always urge people to give this site some time before coming to conclusions as to what this site is all about, to allow themselves to get to know us all before drawing conclusions as to our "purpose" and above all, to be open and accepting of all who enter through this site as to their needs and/or intent when they post such heart aching appeals. Making rash judgments is never proper, but definitely not when they know nothing of the background of the person involved.

Kate

Another well put comment Kate. Nikki's comments are what I believe a reflection of her age and lack of life experience. Perhaps as she matures she will gain insight into this site and the fine folks who are members.

Belle

[Lonewolf76]

Nikki,
I think my peers have spoken well. You did kinda come in like gangbusters girl! Thats NOT what we are all about here. Stop and think for a second - WHY ARE YOU EVEN ON THIS SITE???? I don't know know you - but I imagine you are on this site because you have realized that you are bisexual or are bi curious or maybe you're straight and want to be open-minded or maybe you realize you are a lesbian. There is nothing wrong with any of those - but you must admit - society gives us enough shit if we fall into ANY of those categories. Here, on this amazing site - we find solace and companionship with others of our "Kind" for lack of a better word. We share events in our lives both happy and sad, we share the latest news that may impact all of our lives and we sometimes bitch and moan - but we all come to love one another for the person that we get to know here. I've never met anyone here face to face and wouldn't "know them" if they were standing right in front of me - but if I were ever in a room and Belle, Cat, Rissa, Kate, or any number of others came up and said who they were - there would be an instant connection! Its a testamony to that "Connectiveness" between all of us that Dani felt comfortable enough to turn to this group and seek advice, support and help. I think that speaks VOLUMES about the folks on here. As mentioned earlier - We are a very loving and forgiving bunch. Embrace that and accept the gift that you have entered into (this fine group of people) don't alienate us or you will have missed out on a most remarkable experience. And god forbid - should you ever need help in the future and have grown comfortable enough with this group to ask for it when the world in general won't help' - we will ALL be there to support you and offer advice and guidance. Its what we do - but more importantly - it's who we are. Welcome! LW

[csrakate]

Nikki,
I hope you heard the comments made to you and that you'll consider "starting over". If so, I would like to say..."Welcome to the site!" Please don't make us regret extending our hands to you and offering you this chance. As LoneWolf said, you'll truly miss out on a great group of people if you do. :)

[rissababynta]

Nikki,
I think my peers have spoken well. You did kinda come in like gangbusters girl! Thats NOT what we are all about here. Stop and think for a second - WHY ARE YOU EVEN ON THIS SITE???? I don't know know you - but I imagine you are on this site because you have realized that you are bisexual or are bi curious or maybe you're straight and want to be open-minded or maybe you realize you are a lesbian. There is nothing wrong with any of those - but you must admit - society gives us enough shit if we fall into ANY of those categories. Here, on this amazing site - we find solace and companionship with others of our "Kind" for lack of a better word. We share events in our lives both happy and sad, we share the latest news that may impact all of our lives and we sometimes bitch and moan - but we all come to love one another for the person that we get to know here. I've never met anyone here face to face and wouldn't "know them" if they were standing right in front of me - but if I were ever in a room and Belle, Cat, Rissa, Kate, or any number of others came up and said who they were - there would be an instant connection! Its a testamony to that "Connectiveness" between all of us that Dani felt comfortable enough to turn to this group and seek advice, support and help. I think that speaks VOLUMES about the folks on here. As mentioned earlier - We are a very loving and forgiving bunch. Embrace that and accept the gift that you have entered into (this fine group of people) don't alienate us or you will have missed out on a most remarkable experience. And god forbid - should you ever need help in the future and have grown comfortable enough with this group to ask for it when the world in general won't help' - we will ALL be there to support you and offer advice and guidance. Its what we do - but more importantly - it's who we are. Welcome! LW

Well damn it Wolf could you have possibly been any nicer than I was in my post!? lol. Way to make me look bad hehe. *howl baby howl!* haha:bigrin:

[onewhocares]

Nikki,
I think my peers have spoken well. You did kinda come in like gangbusters girl! Thats NOT what we are all about here. Stop and think for a second - WHY ARE YOU EVEN ON THIS SITE???? I don't know know you - but I imagine you are on this site because you have realized that you are bisexual or are bi curious or maybe you're straight and want to be open-minded or maybe you realize you are a lesbian. There is nothing wrong with any of those - but you must admit - society gives us enough shit if we fall into ANY of those categories. Here, on this amazing site - we find solace and companionship with others of our "Kind" for lack of a better word. We share events in our lives both happy and sad, we share the latest news that may impact all of our lives and we sometimes bitch and moan - but we all come to love one another for the person that we get to know here. I've never met anyone here face to face and wouldn't "know them" if they were standing right in front of me - but if I were ever in a room and Belle, Cat, Rissa, Kate, or any number of others came up and said who they were - there would be an instant connection! Its a testamony to that "Connectiveness" between all of us that Dani felt comfortable enough to turn to this group and seek advice, support and help. I think that speaks VOLUMES about the folks on here. As mentioned earlier - We are a very loving and forgiving bunch. Embrace that and accept the gift that you have entered into (this fine group of people) don't alienate us or you will have missed out on a most remarkable experience. And god forbid - should you ever need help in the future and have grown comfortable enough with this group to ask for it when the world in general won't help' - we will ALL be there to support you and offer advice and guidance. Its what we do - but more importantly - it's who we are. Welcome! LW

HERE HERE my friend! Thank You

[Lonewolf76]

Just stating the simple truth - I love you guys!!! Howw... I won't tease you Rissa! LOL LW

[BumbleB]

Nikki if u read everything I was thinking about ending my life and needed some help finding help and someone here in my area sent me info and I went to get help. You are the type of person that the people in my life are like and the reason why I had to turn to strangers. These people have helped me and shame on you for thinking so badly of people. I got help with a little help from my friends here. You're still a kid baby so when you are a woman like most of us here you will learn life is not so cut and dry. I just hope you never go thru this.

Wow I hope by the time I'm your age I'm mature enough to not harp on young people why don't you google ageism. We are all one. We've all stated our own opinion, you don't have to like it but respect the fact that this is our natural right. Don't try to make Nikki feel bad by going further into your story to make her look like the bad guy.

I hope she never goes through what you are going through, and it's funny when YOU needed help most people gave their kind advice and it's really quite funny to be in a position of help from the public and then turn on someone with their own opinion, funny indeed. I hope when I'm your age I'll know better...oh wait...

[Nikki Ninja]

Nikki if u read everything I was thinking about ending my life and needed some help finding help and someone here in my area sent me info and I went to get help. You are the type of person that the people in my life are like and the reason why I had to turn to strangers. These people have helped me and shame on you for thinking so badly of people. I got help with a little help from my friends here. You're still a kid baby so when you are a woman like most of us here you will learn life is not so cut and dry. I just hope you never go thru this.



Well maybe you have a mental disorder and you need to go to the doctor, dont you have a family to go to?? and i believe you said you have a husband? correct?
If you feel this shitty about life that says alot about your marriage
and what you said about having a baby
Il give you a word of advice
Until you find true pleasures and happiness in life and get yourself cured
you have NO business having a child.
Your argument for calling me a child is very weak, i have 2 jobs and i occasionally buy food for my family when necessary, i pay my own insurance and everything so your argument for that is invalid.
Oh and i know i wont EVER go through what your going through
I have the neat ability to see beauty in all aspects of life, I'll be going to college next semester to either become a RN(registered nurse) or a private investigator, il be making a good income, i'll get married someday and have a couple kids, with the combined income of my spouse we should be very well off.
Life is too good and precious to waste away moping and being depressed all the time...
I think i have made my point across.
So cheer up, have a couple drinks, get laid, and maybe go on vacation. Life couldn't get any better than that:rolleyes:

[Laken]

Well maybe you have a mental disorder and you need to go to the doctor, dont you have a family to go to?? and i believe you said you have a husband? correct?
If you feel this shitty about life that says alot about your marriage
and what you said about having a baby
Il give you a word of advice
Until you find true pleasures and happiness in life and get yourself cured
you have NO business having a child.
Your argument for calling me a child is very weak, i have 2 jobs and i occasionally buy food for my family when necessary, i pay my own insurance and everything so your argument for that is invalid.
Oh and i know i wont EVER go through what your going through
I have the neat ability to see beauty in all aspects of life, I'll be going to college next semester to either become a RN(registered nurse) or a private investigator, il be making a good income, i'll get married someday and have a couple kids, with the combined income of my spouse we should be very well off.
Life is too good and precious to waste away moping and being depressed all the time...
I think i have made my point across.
So cheer up, have a couple drinks, get laid, and maybe go on vacation. Life couldn't get any better than that:rolleyes:

Dear, dear. I remember those days of having my whole life planned out in front of me. Let me be the first to say...SHIT HAPPENS. You'll see. Your life won't turn out EXACTLY the way you have it planned. Simply paying your insurance and buying food for your family occasionally isn't anything like living in the real world on your own.
And until you have kids of your own...and have lived life past the ripe ol' age of 18...I don't believe you should be telling anyone whether or not they have the "business" to be having children.

[csrakate]

So cheer up, have a couple drinks, get laid, and maybe go on vacation. Life couldn't get any better than that:rolleyes:

Spoken like the true CHILD that you are.....as if having drinks, getting laid and going on vacation has EVER solved anything!!! Until you have lived a life and experienced the ups and downs that sometimes go along with it, you best not speak so harshly to someone who has. We tried to give you the chance to make amends, Nikki....but from your post I can tell that you have no desire to get along with the members of this site. It's a damn shame but maybe this isn't the place for you. Maybe you should leave and come back when you grow up!

[BumbleB]

Spoken like the true CHILD that you are.....until you have lived a life and experienced the ups and downs that sometimes go along with it, you best not speak so harshly to someone who has. We tried to give you the chance to make amends, Nikki....but from your post I can tell that you have no desire to get along with the members of this site. It's a damn shame, too....

I have a website to better define your character! Nothing like a good polishing! Just a click too, so easy these days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultism

Spoken from the TRUE CHILD I AM! <--Calling someone a child, not childish at all right? Name calling, yeah I learned that in 2nd grade too csrakate!

[csrakate]

I have a website to better define your character! Nothing like a good polishing! Just a click too, so easy these days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultism

Spoken from the TRUE CHILD I AM! <--Calling someone a child, not childish at all right? Name calling, yeah I learned that in 2nd grade too csrakate!

I have nothing against children, BumbleB....but I also will not stand idly by as they barrel into a site and begin insulting members that they know nothing about. And I am not name calling...I am merely calling a spade a spade. Only a child would believe that drinking, getting laid and vacations could solve the many issues that face us all. And you can ask anyone on this site, I have NEVER had issues regarding age until certain new members entered this site and immediately started insulting the older members....yourself included.

[BumbleB]

I have nothing against children, BumbleB....but I also will not stand idly by as they barrel into a site and begin insulting members that they know nothing about. And I am not name calling...I am merely calling a spade a spade. Only a child would believe that drinking, getting laid and vacations could solve the many issues that face us all. And you can ask anyone on this site, I have NEVER had issues regarding age until certain new members entered this site and immediately started insulting the older members....yourself included.

OUCH! Seriously did burn a bit!

Calling something a spade a spade is trying to justify name calling silly. And no children typically like to play with their toys and watch movies. YOUNG ADULTS for that matter (oh my gee I love us young people stereotypez!) tend to drink, get laid and I guess vacation?

Heard of something do what works? Don't get all pissy because of her analogy would you get on her ass if she said knit, eat coleslaw, and go to church?

Why do you care anyway, geez making such a big deal out of nothing. You aren't special because you are old and we aren't special because we are young. You are turning it into an issue of age

Isn't this whole matter of her "depression" wasn't it solved anyway?

[Laken]

I have a website to better define your character! Nothing like a good polishing! Just a click too, so easy these days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultism

Spoken from the TRUE CHILD I AM! <--Calling someone a child, not childish at all right? Name calling, yeah I learned that in 2nd grade too csrakate!


Firstly, adultism is a psychosocial disorder, not a definition of character.
Secondly, Kate has not disempowered nor disenfranchised anyone. She's not discriminating anyone based on age. She's disagreeing with a manifestation of complete and total immaturity, which could reside with a person of any age. Childish behavior is childish behavior, whether the culprit be 18 or 81.

I do however, believe Kate is suffering from a severe case of "common sense." Kate, you may wanna get that checked out. See if they can somehow harvest it and distribute it amongst the rest of the world!

[Nikki Ninja]

Dear, dear. I remember those days of having my whole life planned out in front of me. Let me be the first to say...SHIT HAPPENS. You'll see. Your life won't turn out EXACTLY the way you have it planned. Simply paying your insurance and buying food for your family occasionally isn't anything like living in the real world on your own.
And until you have kids of your own...and have lived life past the ripe ol' age of 18...I don't believe you should be telling anyone whether or not they have the "business" to be having children.

I really want to point out a couple things of what you just said and the contradiction
1. your 21, only 3 years older than me.. that is in fact a small number, it is ignorant to say "rip ol' age" you haven't even fully experianced life yourself either, you really can't talk about my future, yet alone yours:).
2. I actually have a couple friends with kids around my age, one friend is 17 she shouldn't even have a child, she doesn't have a job or anything, her mom takes care of it, its pretty pathetic when your a mom that can't even afford to take care of yourself let alone your own child. And another friend of mine with a baby was diagnosed with Bi polar disorder, i love this girl to death but she gets depressed as shit and guess who it rubs off on, her child. Which from my friends situation which is very similair to Dani's, do not put a poor child through that, its sad, people that are at all depressed with life should not have children until they are completely and 120% ready, end of story, the child should be brought up happily with a good marriage for a truly happy child. I'm 18 and i have enough common sense to know not to never have a baby in those kind of conditions when i'm older.

[Nikki Ninja]

I really don't have anything against anyone in here.
Just people that take life for granted, someone that could even have the thought of ending thier life when you only get to live once and then spewing it on the internet for sympathy on there, sorry i have problems with people like that. People like her need to seek profesionals.

[Laken]

I really want to point out a couple things of what you just said and the contradiction
1. your 21, only 3 years older than me.. that is in fact a small number, it is ignorant to say "rip ol' age" you haven't even fully experianced life yourself either, you really can't talk about my future, yet alone yours:).
2. I actually have a couple friends with kids around my age, one friend is 17 she shouldn't even have a child, she doesn't have a job or anything, her mom takes care of it, its pretty pathetic when your a mom that can't even afford to take care of yourself let alone your own child. And another friend of mine with a baby was diagnosed with Bi polar disorder, i love this girl to death but she gets depressed as shit and guess who it rubs off on, her child. Which from my friends situation which is very similair to Dani's, do not put a poor child through that, its sad, people that are at all depressed with life should not have children until they are completely and 120% ready, end of story, the child should be brought up happily with a good marriage for a truly happy child. I'm 18 and i have enough common sense to know not to never have a baby in those kind of conditions when i'm older.


Sarcasm, darlin'. I know that I'm 21 and I don't know everything. Which is why I often look to people, such as Kate, Cat, Belle, and many others on this site, who have a hell of a lot more life experience than I do. I never tried to say that my future has turned out perfectly or is going to turn out perfectly. I know it's not, that's the point that I was trying to get across to you. Sometimes, in life, things happen that aren't expected. They aren't always in your nice little "plan." What's happening to Dani is one of those things. When she was 18 do you think she sat around and thought..."You know what, somewhere down the line I'd absolutely LOVE to be so depressed I think about suicide!!" I highly doubt it. Like I said before, SHIT HAPPENS.
And having friends your age who have kids...is nothing like being your age and having your own kid. So my point there still stands. YOU don't know what it's like. Hell, I'm 21 and I'm not really ready to have a kid. But guess what...that's whats happening. Did I plan it this way? HELL no. Did I want it this way? HELL no. But that's part of being a mature ADULT. Dealing with the hand life deals you....even when it's shitty.

[Lonewolf76]

Well Nikki,

I tried to be as nice as I could. You just aren't getting it. As an RN myself- Let me be the first to say - with your utter lack of compassion - Go for the private investigator - you'd probably make a good one. Unless you can open up your heart more and be more accepting and compassionate - you're NOT the kind of nurse we need in the medical field! If I came into the ER depressed I sure wouldn't want to hear that I needed a drink, a good lay and a vacation! LW

[Nikki Ninja]

Sarcasm, darlin'. I know that I'm 21 and I don't know everything. Which is why I often look to people, such as Kate, Cat, Belle, and many others on this site, who have a hell of a lot more life experience than I do. I never tried to say that my future has turned out perfectly or is going to turn out perfectly. I know it's not, that's the point that I was trying to get across to you. Sometimes, in life, things happen that aren't expected. They aren't always in your nice little "plan." What's happening to Dani is one of those things. When she was 18 do you think she sat around and thought..."You know what, somewhere down the line I'd absolutely LOVE to be so depressed I think about suicide!!" I highly doubt it. Like I said before, SHIT HAPPENS.
And having friends your age who have kids...is nothing like being your age and having your own kid. So my point there still stands. YOU don't know what it's like. Hell, I'm 21 and I'm not really ready to have a kid. But guess what...that's whats happening. Did I plan it this way? HELL no. Did I want it this way? HELL no. But that's part of being a mature ADULT. Dealing with the hand life deals you....even when it's shitty.

Are you currently a pregnaet right now or did you already have a kid? I may be about to open another can of worms.
But if i was in your situation, if i wasn't financially or emotionally stable i would consider an abortion, im a major believer in pro- choice. But in that i think you could easily alter that situation..just a thought, but the people that are pro-life believe that no matter what the situation the baby should and HAS to be born no matter what. I think when someone is not ready to have a child they shouldn't be forced with one.

[BumbleB]

Sarcasm, darlin'. I know that I'm 21 and I don't know everything. Which is why I often look to people, such as Kate, Cat, Belle, and many others on this site, who have a hell of a lot more life experience than I do. I never tried to say that my future has turned out perfectly or is going to turn out perfectly. I know it's not, that's the point that I was trying to get across to you. Sometimes, in life, things happen that aren't expected. They aren't always in your nice little "plan." What's happening to Dani is one of those things. When she was 18 do you think she sat around and thought..."You know what, somewhere down the line I'd absolutely LOVE to be so depressed I think about suicide!!" I highly doubt it. Like I said before, SHIT HAPPENS.
And having friends your age who have kids...is nothing like being your age and having your own kid. So my point there still stands. YOU don't know what it's like. Hell, I'm 21 and I'm not really ready to have a kid. But guess what...that's whats happening. Did I plan it this way? HELL no. Did I want it this way? HELL no. But that's part of being a mature ADULT. Dealing with the hand life deals you....even when it's shitty.


Meh I agree with some things you said, except I'll add that life experiences DIFFER from those around you. I take someones life experience with a grain of salt for what it could do for me, sure it worked great for them, so far I've lived an A typical life.

I hope shit happens doesn't mean "Oops I'm pregnant" because in that case shit happens will NEVER happen because I believe in Abortion strongly. And you always plan pregnancy everytime you have sex

My plans about 85% of the time go as I wanted, a few details differ but they mostly go the way I want because I want them to happen this way. Even if I want some big acting job and think oh shit I'm not good enough, either way I'm right. If you really want something, it'll happen.

[csrakate]

Are you currently a pregnaet right now or did you already have a kid? I may be about to open another can of worms.
But if i was in your situation, if i wasn't financially or emotionally stable i would consider an abortion, im a major believer in pro- choice. But in that i think you could easily alter that situation..just a thought, but the people that are pro-life believe that no matter what the situation the baby should and HAS to be born no matter what. I think when someone is not ready to have a child they shouldn't be forced with one.
Nikki....please....stop while you can. I beg you not to push this issue any further. Once again you are speaking of a situation you have no personal experience with and you have no idea how hurtful your "suggestions" might be. Learn to think before you post...think over what you're saying and for once, think of the person you are addressing and how your words may affect them. Just because you have strong issues regarding people with mental illness or those who have babies before they are ready doesn't mean you need to insult them by stating those beliefs. Compassion and patience comes with age, but common sense starts much earlier. I am willing to believe that you don't have problems with anyone on this site and I am willing to give you some slack for your lack of life experience but for God's sake, learn to temper your words! I don't want to get into a pissing match with you or anyone else....so please....let it go!

[Nikki Ninja]

Well Nikki,

I tried to be as nice as I could. You just aren't getting it. As an RN myself- Let me be the first to say - with your utter lack of compassion - Go for the private investigator - you'd probably make a good one. Unless you can open up your heart more and be more accepting and compassionate - you're NOT the kind of nurse we need in the medical field! If I came into the ER depressed I sure wouldn't want to hear that I needed a drink, a good lay and a vacation! LW

Haha actually i think would make an excellent nurse, but thanks for the advice.:)
I was in the top of my class for this class called health occupations, basically its a pre-nurse class, to basically prepare you for what lies ahead in nursing school. If i were to say that to a patient in the E.R i would bet you money it would put a smile on thier sulken face. And to be a nurse you have to be able to detach yourself from people, my aunt is a nurse and she says its the best skill you can do in that field because if the patient dies for any reason, your more likely to sulk about it and it can get in the way of work and affect you deeply. It's sad but giving bad news to a waiting family that thier loved one didn't make it all teary eyed is not professional and plus it doesn't affect your personality at work if you keep yourself emotionally detached from patients. So to me compassion and acception is not a key in nursing, it's your brain your smarts, not your heart, how you can save thier life, im sure they would appreciate that much more than being best buds.

[Laken]

Nikki,
I'm currently pregnant. I didn't mean to sound as if I were saying I don't want my child. I'm perfectly capable of having a child. There's zero reason my child would ever need to be aborted. I'm pro-choice as well...but not everyone is. But pro-choice is exactly that...pro-CHOICE. Not pro-"I-don't-think-you're-ready-for-a-kid-so-have-a-forced-abortion". Which is, essentially, what it seems to me like you're getting at. If someone isn't emotionally stable they should abort their child. I dunno...I'm not getting into an abortion debate with you...I just want you to see that life isn't always sunshine and roses and sometimes shit happens that you aren't prepared for.


BumbleB,
I agree that life experiences do differ. I'm not saying that everyone's life experiences are going to be exactly the same. That would be a completely ridiculous assumption. However, it can be helpful to know the experiences of others. If you say you touched a stove and got burned and so do 3 other people, chances are...I'm not going to touch the stove...save myself from getting burned. Corny analogy, but I think you can see where I'm coming from.
The example I used for "shit happens" was pregnancy. "Shit happens," however, can be a multitude of things. Simply wanting something really badly doesn't make it happen. There are too many life factors that you can't control, in MOST situations. You can't control being in a car accident and being paralyzed for the rest of your life. And regardless of how badly you want to WALK, if it's physically impossible, then it's NOT going to happen. (Let me clarify by saying that there are exceptions to every rule..yes some people do walk after being told they can't and I realize this.) I'm simply trying to point out that sometimes in life situations come along that we have ABSOLUTELY ZERO control over. Occasionally, the causal factors of depression can be that situation.

[rissababynta]

Haha actually i think would make an excellent nurse, but thanks for the advice.:)
I was in the top of my class for this class called health occupations, basically its a pre-nurse class, to basically prepare you for what lies ahead in nursing school. If i were to say that to a patient in the E.R i would bet you money it would put a smile on thier sulken face. And to be a nurse you have to be able to detach yourself from people, my aunt is a nurse and she says its the best skill you can do in that field because if the patient dies for any reason, your more likely to sulk about it and it can get in the way of work and affect you deeply. It's sad but giving bad news to a waiting family that thier loved one didn't make it all teary eyed is not professional and plus it doesn't affect your personality at work if you keep yourself emotionally detached from patients. So to me compassion and acception is not a key in nursing, it's your brain your smarts, not your heart, how you can save thier life, im sure they would appreciate that much more than being best buds.

It would put a smile on their face? Either you're full of shit about this class you were in or you have a metal disorder to. Your ass would be fired. Any idiot who has ever worked in the medical profession would back me up on that too.

And Laken, whether you're young or not, you are OBVIOUSLY an old soul dear.

[Nikki Ninja]

It would put a smile on their face? Either you're full of shit about this class you were in or you have a metal disorder to. Your ass would be fired. Any idiot who has ever worked in the medical profession would back me up on that too.

And Laken, whether you're young or not, you are OBVIOUSLY an old soul dear.
just because i have a sense of humor here which some seem to lack, Don't get your undies in a bind i most probably wouldn;t say that to any patient at a hospital, i would find other ways to make them laugh because im usually pretty good at that. I went through alot of hard work to earn the grade i did, i was up late at nights writing papers and power points. Considering im a high functioning autistic i think il be pretty successful :) So saying i have a mental disorder is kind of an insult, and yes i have autism im just a high function, its in my records i was diagnosed when i was 18 months old i was really bad when i was younger, so it pisses the fuck out of me when people say shit like that, a little something about me, just because i have a disability doesn't make me a fucking stupid ass, that would be an insult to everyone that is dealing with what im dealing with, i had to work 50X as hard to get where i'm at now, it sure as hell wasn't easy

[BumbleB]

It would put a smile on their face? Either you're full of shit about this class you were in or you have a metal disorder to. Your ass would be fired. Any idiot who has ever worked in the medical profession would back me up on that too.

And Laken, whether you're young or not, you are OBVIOUSLY an old soul dear.

I'm sorry that first thing you said made absolutely no sense. :confused:

[rissababynta]

I'm sorry that first thing you said made absolutely no sense. :confused:

.....I'm surrounded I swear.....

[rissababynta]

just because i have a sense of humor here which some seem to lack, Don't get your undies in a bind i most probably wouldn;t say that to any patient at a hospital, i would find other ways to make them laugh because im usually pretty good at that. I went through alot of hard work to earn the grade i did, i was up late at nights writing papers and power points. Considering im a high functioning autistic i think il be pretty successful :) So saying i have a mental disorder is kind of an insult, and yes i have autism im just a high function, its in my records i was diagnosed when i was 18 months old i was really bad when i was younger, so it pisses the fuck out of me when people say shit like that, a little something about me, just because i have a disability doesn't make me a fucking stupid ass, that would be an insult to everyone that is dealing with what im dealing with, i had to work 50X as hard to get where i'm at now, it sure as hell wasn't easy

And you telling someone who is even ADMITTING to having a problem that they have a mental disorder isn't an insult? Whoop de doo that you have a mental disability, still doesn't mean you get away with being a bitch to everyone.

[Lonewolf76]

Haha actually i think would make an excellent nurse, but thanks for the advice.:)
I was in the top of my class for this class called health occupations, basically its a pre-nurse class, to basically prepare you for what lies ahead in nursing school. If i were to say that to a patient in the E.R i would bet you money it would put a smile on thier sulken face. And to be a nurse you have to be able to detach yourself from people, my aunt is a nurse and she says its the best skill you can do in that field because if the patient dies for any reason, your more likely to sulk about it and it can get in the way of work and affect you deeply. It's sad but giving bad news to a waiting family that thier loved one didn't make it all teary eyed is not professional and plus it doesn't affect your personality at work if you keep yourself emotionally detached from patients. So to me compassion and acception is not a key in nursing, it's your brain your smarts, not your heart, how you can save thier life, im sure they would appreciate that much more than being best buds.

I have been in the medical profession for over 25 years and the majority of that working in the ER. Your aunt is right - there is a certain amount of detachment and distance you have to maintain to be professional, objective and carry on with your duties. I can't and won't speak for your aunt - but when she told you that I don't think she meant be an unfeeling machine and throw all your compassion out the window! But saying that in nursing all you needs is your brains and your smarts and that compassion and (I think you meant) acceptance is not key to nursing shows me 1) how very immature you are and 2) that you are so far off the boat it isn't even funny and 3) I wouldn't ever want you working on me! . Stick to the PI work PLEASEEEEEEE! LW

[rissababynta]

I have been in the medical profession for over 25 years and the majority of that working in the ER. Your aunt is right - there is a certain amount of detachment and distance you have to maintain to be professional, objective and carry on with your duties. I can't and won't speak for your aunt - but when she told you that I don't think she meant be an unfeeling machine and throw all your compassion out the window! But saying that in nursing all you needs is your brains and your smarts and that compassion and (I think you meant) acceptance is not key to nursing shows me 1) how very immature you are and 2) that you are so far off the boat it isn't even funny and 3) I wouldn't ever want you working on me! . Stick to the PI work PLEASEEEEEEE! LW

HOOOOWWWWLLLLL :tong:

[Lonewolf76]

HOOOOWWWWLLLLL :tong:

Now who teases!!! LOL

[rissababynta]

Now who teases!!! LOL

You love it ;)

[Lonewolf76]

You love it ;)

Rissa - You KNOW I do! LOL! Keep smilin! LW

[elian]

Nikki I mean no disrespect, but if I knew now what I THOUGHT I knew at 20, 25, 30 - there is a lot of learning going on - and it really never stops.

Yes, there are people who are constantly looking for attention - but I've felt depression - I know what it can do to a person, to a family - to offer a few words of compassion and encouragement didn't seem like such an imposition - the lady took the advice - she has started on the road of getting the help she desperately needs - something I think we are all very proud of her for - she has even started to see that maybe her family really does love her - but maybe they just don't know how to deal with the situation.

There are times when EVERY person goes through crisis in life, I am glad that you are so confident in your self image and your ability to overcome - the rest of us sometimes need a little encouragement and understanding.

Secrets kill - and a lot of the issues people confront here relate to lifestyle and relationship situations that the rest of society finds taboo, they feel like they really have no where else to turn..and the worst thing a suicidal person can do is feel like they have no choices.

How do you go to your local country Christian doctor in rural bamfack anywhere, USA and say "My same sex partner is beating the shit out of me and I need help" - risking the humiliation that comes with that and stigma in the community?

The reason I come to this site is precisely because that it isn't all about "hooking up" - believe me - I would love to be "out and proud", get laid - live my life and be happy .. but around here - that just doesn't happen without consequences..the threat of hate crime - or even worse - institutionalized bigotry and prejudice is very real.

You're right - life isn't fair, and you can't help everybody - but if you think about the power you have as an individual - one of the truly powerful things we can do as people is show compassion and empathy to others. I lived my teen years in spite and angst - and let me tell you - life is too short to be angry all the time.

[Dani78]

Hello everyone I wanted to give you all an update. I haven't been here for awhile because I have been working some things out with the help of my doctors and believe it or not my husband and our lover. I have been sleeping for the first time in a long time. I also have been getting up and participating in my life for the first time in a long time. Things are starting to look up. I still cry and get down but I see a way out now and not only did my doctor help but you guys did too. Although you guys said you couldn't help just knowing that there was someone anyone who understood me and people who I could talk to was a help. Knowing there was a place I could always be heard. So thank you all for listening and helping. I hope never to get so low again but if I do I know you will all help to get me through and that alone is a help. So once again THANK YOU!!!!

[elian]

So glad you are doing better Dani - keep up the good work. :)

[onewhocares]

Dani.....

I am SO HAPPY for you my dear....one step that is all it took. I thank all of those here who helped with encouragement, support, information to one of our newest members in need. The future will get better and better.

Belle

[rissababynta]

So Dani, I hope things are going a little better for you now.

[gfofbiguy]

I'm so glad you are feeling better, Dani. I'm glad you also took that step to call and get the help you need - as well as finding everyone here and having our support as well. I hope things continue to look up for you!!!

~~Gfofbiguy

[Lonewolf76]

Hey Dani!

Yahoooooo! I'm so glad you went to see someone and now things are looking better and you are able to work through issues. I'm glad that we could all help in our own ways. This site is indeed a form of family. You proved that - you came for advice and support and were recieved with love and understanding. I'm very proud of you! I am also very proud of my fellow family members here. Everyone showed the best side of a group like this one. Way to go gang. Spread the love! Happy Valentines day to all! LW