cant overlook it....

[iwant2]

hi everyone, new to the site. here's a little history


i am a mid 30's attractive female... been in a relationship for a little over 5 years now and things have been great... but something ... a void... has been in my life that i have tried to ignore.

i can no longer ignore it. before my current heterosexual relationship - i have been into different things... but mainly... i am very bisexual.

i have an uncontrollable urge to be with a woman... one which i have tried to ignore and overlook in the most recent 5 years... one i cant ignore anymore.

in my previous relationship i was able to be open with other women - and sometimes their men as well...i tried to give it up with this relationship, saying it was a phase and i am over it. i cant deny it anymore and i need to fill this part of myself...

has anyone else gone thru this?

[FalconAngel]

Does your current partner know that you are BI? If not, then perhaps they should know. You need to explain everything you can about it and be honest. That way, the two of you can work out an arrangement that works for the both of you, that you both can live with and not have either one concerned.

There are a number of threads on this subject in the forums, so go into them and read them. There is a huge amount of insight that will be of help for you. Also, there are a lot of M/O couples here, like us, on the site that can give you advice as well.

[Realist]

Yes, I've lived through two marriages while denying that I was bisexual. I cheated on my second wife with a male friend and fought the guilt for years. After divorcing, I turned right around and married another lady who was strictly morally and religiously against same-sex situations. For ten years I did not have one encounter with another male, or female. I did, however, fight desires to be with both. I am now in a relationship with a bi girl who understands being attracted to both sexes. Both of us are more heterosexual than bi, but we agree if someone appears on the scene and we are attracted to them, either of us may be able to experience a separate, or combined relationship.

Listen, it is just as often difficult for us to live with straight people, it is so difficult for many of them to understand us. Our reasoning and interests are just too opposed to most of theirs. Be advised, though, that there are some very open-minded and loving straight mates out there who are able to allow us to live, love and flourish, but they are very rare and wonderful creatures!

So, the only solution, in my book, is to seek others, who accept and love us for who we are. You have to be very honest and up-front for that to happen, though. It's admirable for you to live and love those who can't accept, or understand your needs, but in the end, you must consider your own happiness and desires.

'Nuff said...........

[wikskul]

i have been in a few relationships. including my doomed marriage where i either denyed the fact or couldnt be honest... i descovered that hiding who u r and denying that u have these feelings only hurts you. and can destroy what u are trying so hard to protect. be honest hun.. to yourself and with ur partner. if they cant handle it, then they may not be right for u. it is best to love the whole then the illusion.
ofcourse i can only comment on my past experiance, but i believe that living a lie will only hurt u and ur other in the end.
just my :2cents:
i hope it works out for u hun.. best wishes.. and we are here to talk and help where we can

[iwant2]

thank you everyone. yes he does know i am bi - i told him that from the very beginning.

my ex and i used to swing... he also knows that. i told him i wouldnt do that again because at the time i felt that it contributed to the marriage failing. (he thought because we were swingers he could also have multiple women on the side without my knowledge)

anyways...

my problem is... i am having a hard time forgetting about ... other women... how they feel, the electricity, just... everything.

he is open but i dont think he would like it if i had a "girlfriend". he has had 3somes before prior to us being together... and i am sure he wouldnt mind doing it again... but i think i need to have a woman around to fill this need.

i hope this makes sense.

i swore years ago when i said "i'm out" of the swinging game that i got it out of my system... i did it then to be with women and i am finding myself again wanting that in my life. but with that i have big concerns - especially with what happened in the past.

i dont want "another woman" in the bedroom to come between us. i dont want another woman trying to wiggle into my place. i dont want him to think he doesnt please me. he does, but i am still wanting a woman in my sexlife.

i know all this seems very selfish... i hope someone on here can help me

are there anymore women out there that want to be with women like me or am i stuck in a fantasy?

[Vikkster230]

I am in the same boat, well at least what I'm looking for... I am married and very much love being with hubby. He knows of my desires and knows that I am not lacking from anything that we do, it's a different desire. I haven't had the pleasure yet of being with a woman, but my ideal would be if I could find the female equivalent of hubby, separate but equal though. Not looking for a 3some type deal, just a gf who understands that I won't leave him for her. I hope that it could happen, and will be okay with whatever happens, I think lol.

[innaminka]

Coming out to yourself is the hardest thing. It is/will be a period of doubt, low self esteem and heartache, but remember you are not unique and that regardless of what label is assigned by others, you are still you.
Beautiful in every way.
I maybe can empathise with your situation, as in a way it mirrored mine. Realising that being with another woman was an inherent part of my persona. I could deny it, but it would still be there nibbling away.
Its a strange, lonely, longing feeling.

I acted upon it and for the last 15 years, my husband and I have lived with my being bi. He knows, but the way we came to terms with it was that he just doesn't ask.
It has worked for us, for others???? I can't say.

I can feel your longing, because atm my whole persona/life is all a tumble. I yearn to have a full relationship with another woman: I feel it so deep and strong within me, but marriage, children, business difficulties all hinder me.

But without giving advice, as there is no "how-to" manual, the only thing I would say is be yourself and be proud of yourself.

[iwant2]

I am in the same boat, well at least what I'm looking for... I am married and very much love being with hubby. He knows of my desires and knows that I am not lacking from anything that we do, it's a different desire. I haven't had the pleasure yet of being with a woman, but my ideal would be if I could find the female equivalent of hubby, separate but equal though. Not looking for a 3some type deal, just a gf who understands that I won't leave him for her. I hope that it could happen, and will be okay with whatever happens, I think lol.




Coming out to yourself is the hardest thing. It is/will be a period of doubt, low self esteem and heartache, but remember you are not unique and that regardless of what label is assigned by others, you are still you.
Beautiful in every way.
I maybe can empathise with your situation, as in a way it mirrored mine. Realising that being with another woman was an inherent part of my persona. I could deny it, but it would still be there nibbling away.
Its a strange, lonely, longing feeling.

I acted upon it and for the last 15 years, my husband and I have lived with my being bi. He knows, but the way we came to terms with it was that he just doesn't ask.
It has worked for us, for others???? I can't say.

I can feel your longing, because atm my whole persona/life is all a tumble. I yearn to have a full relationship with another woman: I feel it so deep and strong within me, but marriage, children, business difficulties all hinder me.

But without giving advice, as there is no "how-to" manual, the only thing I would say is be yourself and be proud of yourself.


dam... good to hear i am not going crazy. lol

thank you both. . . .


some men are so funny... if you tell them something like that, they think "oh i dont please you??"

but its not that... he does, jeepers does he... but... he isnt a woman.