aggressive bi males? [Archive]

tnttogether

Jan 19, 2009, 7:53 PM

jem_is_bi

Jan 19, 2009, 9:15 PM

We are fairly new to this lifestyle and this is our first posting.
We have been reading the forums for about a month or so and have had a question buzzing around in our heads.
From our few experiences we have had with bi males...we have noticed that they seem to be aggressive/physically rough on contact or play.
Is this common?
Actually we have also noticed women seem to be a little on the rough side too.
Is this just us being over sensitive or is this the norm?
We are very sensuous and sensitive people and enjoy a gentle touch...
just wondering.
T n T

I am a more than a little aggressive about life and sex. But, I am not a sadistic person. Being bisexual means that your inner thoughts and desires are out of the mainstream of the social norm such that it is helpful if you are aggressive. Otherwise, it is less likely that you will attain what you really want in life and love and sex and at the same time deal with the negativity that is directed at you from heterosexual society.
So, I am aggressive in attaining my sexual needs with my partner. But, he is very happy to give me what I need because I very good at give him what he needs. Further, I am aggressive in all that I do. I can be very sensuous and enjoy a gentle touch. But, in my opinion, if you do not aggressively seek it; you are very unlikely to get it.

onewhocares

Jan 19, 2009, 9:35 PM

I have never run into a bi male that was anything other than a perfect gentleman. As a matter of fact personal experiance has shown me that they are kind, caring and so nurturing of the person they are with.

Belle

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Jan 19, 2009, 11:25 PM

Bi-Zarro

Jan 19, 2009, 11:33 PM

"The lifestyle"?

I keep scratching my head every time I read this.

A sexual orientation is a lifestyle?

No offense intended to anyone, I just don't get it.

vittoria

Jan 19, 2009, 11:35 PM

Being in the Lifestyle, I havent noticed that bi man are any more aggressive that hetro men. Most that I have been with I have to encourage them to be a little more agressive. :] But thats just me. Good Luck in your search, Loves.
Cat

I agree with you.

However... I must ask the same as our Lou Reed lookalike..

What lifestyle are you talking about? When I read/heard the word "Lifestyle" I am reminded of condoms...:tong:

tnttogether

Jan 20, 2009, 8:11 AM

I am a more than a little aggressive about life and sex. But, I am not a sadistic person. Being bisexual means that your inner thoughts and desires are out of the mainstream of the social norm such that it is helpful if you are aggressive. Otherwise, it is less likely that you will attain what you really want in life and love and sex and at the same time deal with the negativity that is directed at you from heterosexual society.
So, I am aggressive in attaining my sexual needs with my partner. But, he is very happy to give me what I need because I very good at give him what he needs. Further, I am aggressive in all that I do. I can be very sensuous and enjoy a gentle touch. But, in my opinion, if you do not aggressively seek it; you are very unlikely to get it.

what we were referring to is an aggressive physical touch, not how to find those who are bi and getting together... they have a tendancy to be too physically rough on contact... 1 guy even bruised her pelvic bone from slamming against her during penetration...
as far as the "lifestyle" were talking about swingers they call it a lifestyle...

jem_is_bi

Jan 20, 2009, 8:35 AM

what we were referring to is an aggressive physical touch, not how to find those who are bi and getting together... they have a tendancy to be too physically rough on contact... 1 guy even bruised her pelvic bone from slamming against her during penetration...
as far as the "lifestyle" were talking about swingers they call it a lifestyle...

I have not had sex with a lot of bisexual men, but those that I have had sex with have never been rough with me. Are there other factors involved such as excessive alcohol consumption that may have caused or contributed to their rough behavior?

Realist

Jan 20, 2009, 11:43 AM

If I were you, I'd ensure that my wishes and intentions were well-understood, before any bedroom activities began. Communication and compatibility is the key to a rewarding relationship...as far as I'm concerned.

wikskul

Jan 20, 2009, 12:32 PM

i have had both rough and gental... but to tell the truth, u must make ur wishes known.. if they start geting to rough, stop them. it is for all ur pleasure not just him...
but before you end up in the bedroom, i would say to talk to the lover and let him know u are sensual people, that rough is not what u want, that way they know. and they might actually learn something new about sex.
so dont give up, the gental ones are out there, it might take some time to find the right one.

Best luck to you and hope u find what u r looking for:)

csrakate

Jan 20, 2009, 1:02 PM

what we were referring to is an aggressive physical touch, not how to find those who are bi and getting together... they have a tendancy to be too physically rough on contact... 1 guy even bruised her pelvic bone from slamming against her during penetration...
as far as the "lifestyle" were talking about swingers they call it a lifestyle...

It could be that you've chosen partners who are far too eager to experience their bisexual side without concern for the pleasures of others. Sounds to me as if they are overly rushed to "get off" instead of sharing an experience with another.

chook

Jan 20, 2009, 2:02 PM

I think shavednuts420's head has been slammed in a car door and if it hasn't it fucken well should be.

Cheers Chook :bigrin:

onewhocares

Jan 20, 2009, 2:31 PM

I think shavednuts420's head has been slammed in a car door and if it hasn't it fucken well should be.

Cheers Chook :bigrin:

I agree!

trubipoly

Jan 20, 2009, 8:09 PM

i have met a littl of both i guess.. some with an agenda and go after it whether you are comfortable or not and then there are the people that truely care how you feel and want all concerned to be comfortable. probably more good people than bad i would say though. you have to learn to just say no thanks you to those who don't respect your feelings or desires. Good Luck Scott

Mmonty

Jan 20, 2009, 8:27 PM

I think it all has to do with communication. I don't think bi people are any more or less aggressive than anyone else. My first bi experience was bad because I hadn't communicated with the person I met to understand what he was interested in. I was new, nervose , and would have liked to ease into things. As soon as I had got inside this guys house he was all over me! That really limited what I was willing to experience and the time was cut very short.
I learned from that, and when I was ready to try again, I took a lot more time communicating with people until I was sure what we both expected. It turned out very nice. I would have no problem being "rougher" if that's the way the feeling is at the time. 90% of lovemaking with my wife is gentle and loving, but when she wants it rough....she gets it! Same with bi sex.

Agoofball

Jan 20, 2009, 11:49 PM

I do agree that communication is a factor in any sexual situation or encounter..... THAT is an enhancement to me....
I am a bi male and one thing I have a problem with is being aggressive enough (so I have been told) but on the other hand I love and prefer the sensuosity of sex and not the rutting of lust........ ;)

evilpanda

Jan 21, 2009, 8:35 AM

With my first gay experience, I went right for the jugular, more so than I had ever gone with a chick on the first snog. I think it's partly because all the years of wanting cock had finally exploded and I couldn't control myself. Or, maybe it was knowing that the guy was gay and wanted it just as bad that made me more aggressive.

MY theory is just that I have a split male-female personality and I got to be the chick for once, which, for me, is like Jenna Jameson in heat. It felt like being in drag (only I was naked) and forcing myself upon him was like living out a porn star fantasy, only being the porn star, not the dude on the receiving end of the blowjob.

**Peg**

Jan 21, 2009, 9:34 AM

"The lifestyle"? I keep scratching my head every time I read this. A sexual orientation is a lifestyle? No offense intended to anyone, I just don't get it.

there are Pagan and Gorean lifestyles and all KINDS of other lifestyles, but in pop culture today, the Lifestyle (with a capital L) usually denotes a BDSM lifestyle.... or BD or SM. A dominant female is referred to as Domina or Domme and a dominant male is referred to as a Dom (within the Lifestyle itself). They have capital letters to denote their dominance over submissives: hence D/s.

jeez Biz, guess u aint as "bizarro" as I thought :eek:

LOL.... >hugs<

Bi-Zarro

Jan 21, 2009, 12:51 PM

Oh THAT lifestyle. I didn't know that that was what Cat was talking about.

My bad.

hudson9

Jan 21, 2009, 1:30 PM

there are Pagan and Gorean lifestyles and all KINDS of other lifestyles, but in pop culture today, the Lifestyle (with a capital L) usually denotes a BDSM lifestyle.... or BD or SM. A dominant female is referred to as Domina or Domme and a dominant male is referred to as a Dom (within the Lifestyle itself). They have capital letters to denote their dominance over submissives: hence D/s.

jeez Biz, guess u aint as "bizarro" as I thought :eek:

LOL.... >hugs<

I always understood "The Lifestyle" to refer to "swinging", moreso than BDSM...

Maybe it depends on your perspective.

csrakate

Jan 21, 2009, 1:55 PM

I always understood "The Lifestyle" to refer to "swinging", moreso than BDSM...

Maybe it depends on your perspective.

I have to admit that I always assumed it meant "swinging" but I guess we best let Cat tell us what she means in this case. Don't want to assume anything....

tnttogether

Jan 21, 2009, 7:06 PM

We agree communication is the key. We will keep trying to find what we are after. Thanks for all your info and support. T n T

Mr. Magick

Jan 23, 2009, 4:10 AM

Being in the Lifestyle, I havent noticed that bi man are any more aggressive that hetro men. Most that I have been with I have to encourage them to be a little more agressive. :] But thats just me. Good Luck in your search, Loves.
Cat

I kind of fall into this catagory. I on occation need to be reminded to be more aggressive in bed. not something I'm proud of but true none the less.

Kermit Jagger

Jan 23, 2009, 7:00 AM

Let's get real here and stop making generalizations. Some bi or gay guys are physically aggressive; others, myself included, are not. It's not just a matter of a partner expressing what he or she wants to get. It's also about what the other person can or wants to give. My suggestion is to get to know the other person before jumping into the sack with them. Just reading profiles should give you a pretty good clue.
Kermit

tnttogether

Jan 23, 2009, 8:09 AM

TNT-Yes you are being overly sensitive.

Either learn to love aggressive sex, or just have sex with each other and nobody else at all.

I love to fuck the shit out of a person's mouth or their ass/pussy!

Long, hard, and aggressive! Just fucking the daylights out of someone mercilessly! Hell yeah!

My partners and all of the many couples I've been with love it too!

Fact is, most bisexual men are aggressive when it comes to sex, and lots of gay men can be too!

It's the only way to be! Fuck yeah!

maybe in your eyes, but not everyone elses. we have found couples that dont find it necassary to be rough and actually prefer the gentle touch like we do...
we understand that not everyone is alike, but you act as if your not being rough then your not feeling anything... and for that i pity you.. your missing out on so much, but from what i saw in your profile, you obviously cant get a woman either...
so, ill take the fact that you like it rough, good for you, but im sure i speak for all here, your vulgar sentiments can be done without...
grow up with your shameless demeanor... im sure nobody else appreciates it either...