Posers, Wannabes, and Fakers

[evilpanda]

I was watching South Park the other day and the episode about Metrosexuals came on. If you haven't seen it, the male population of the town goes metrosexual because queer eye for straight guy made gays popular. So, the gist of it is that being gay is "in" and straight guys pretend to be queer. I suppose this phenomenon - which I certainly observed among high schoolers at North Carolina School of the Arts - is congruent with Tila Tequila pretending to be bisexual because that's also "in" on TV. (A side note, a lesbian friend of mine worked on Tila's show and wanted to strangle that faking c-word)

I knew I was bi four years ago, but one of the things that kept me in the closet for three of those years was the fact that there are a lot of young people my age who are putting on a big queer show, for the sake of being popular, or iconoclastic, or simply bogarting our style. When I did come out, a lot of my friends accused me of pretending to be queer. Apparently, if I were genuinely queer, I would be gay and sucking dick ALL THE TIME. I'm not, so OBVIOUSLY, I MUST be straight and just CALLING MYSELF BISEXUAL. (Sorry to rant, I was getting annoyed at myself.)

My friend has said that the most insulting thing about the Tila show (which I refuse to watch) is that the so-called bisexual girls and straight guys on that show are acting out their pre-conceived notions of what authentic bi's are really like. Said pre-conceived notions seem to come mainly from porn.

Does this bother anyone else? Are you guys unnerved by metrosexuals who act all gay and sensitive to get into a girl's pants? Are you girls bothered by porn stars and reality show celebutards who fake kiss to put on a show for horny straight guys? Is the plotline of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" truly as insulting as I think it is?

:bipride:

[the sacred night]

I think most of us are offended by that sort of thing. I despise Tila Tequila. I hate that porn image of bi women, and those who fake it to put on a show. I'm interested to hear that you were accused of being straight and faking bi, though, because in my experience bi males are thought to be really gay and just afraid of coming out, and it's bi females that are accused of being really straight and just putting on a show for attention, because so many straight women *do* fake it for attention. It angers me even more that this fakery is so often for the benefit of said horny straight guys, because it adds to that fratboy sense of entitlement that says a woman's sexuality is all about pleasing men, even f/f sexuality. There are dogs out there who actually believe that.

[evilpanda]

I'm interested to hear that you were accused of being straight and faking bi, though, because in my experience bi males are thought to be really gay and just afraid of coming out, and it's bi females that are accused of being really straight and just putting on a show for attention, because so many straight women *do* fake it for attention.

Huh. I know so few bi guys that I would have thought my situation was more typical. Maybe it's because I live in LA and I work in Hollywood. I forget that the rest of the world doesn't function according to California standards.

Plus, I went to an art college with a big LGBT population and a lot of straight people faked being gay for the sake of fitting in. When I came out to a few of my friends from those days, they didn't believe me and asked if I was faking it like those kids back in art school.

I tell ya, figuring out you're bisexual is confusing enough, without all these phony societal distortions and adolescent bollocking.
:bipride:

[PearlGirl]

"It angers me even more that this fakery is so often for the benefit of said horny straight guys, because it adds to that fratboy sense of entitlement that says a woman's sexuality is all about pleasing men, even f/f sexuality."

Well put Sacred I couldn't agree with you more!!!:bounce::bounce::bounce:

Evil, dish some more dirt about Tila (behind the scenes) I'm fascinated...

[evilpanda]

[B][I]"
Evil, dish some more dirt about Tila (behind the scenes) I'm fascinated...

I don't know anything specific. My boss just said she was fake and annoying as hell. But, everyone knows that...

I can dish about something else. I worked at VH1's Breaking Bonaduce. I played a prank on the producers by recutting a therapy scene into "Brokeback Bonaduce," basically, splicing dialogue together so he and a dude are saying gay shit back and forth, while his wife cries. At the wrap party, I punked Danny by splicing it onto the end of the behind-the-scenes video we cut together for him. He rolled around on the floor laughing his ass off and didn't beat me up.

So... I can't dish about Tila Tequila the fake bisexual, but I DID pull a big fat gay joke on Danny Bonaduce in the middle of a Hollywood party and didn't get my ass kicked. :bigrin:

[azirish]

Shows like this must observe the "status-quo". Who watches MTV, 14-20ish year olds. Bi-females are always of the "porn" variety...super-fem and the guys are always not straight but "super" straight. Every word is "fag, homo, queer etc." We have those same people here at this website as well, its no different outside in the "real world" so to speak. Gay's (remember lesbians aren't "gay"to them) are always super fem's and are overly presented as "too gay" meaning they are always in the sterotype that hollywood presents. Meanwhile "lesbians" see above point are always, not "gay" but experimenting..see the difference. This is a sacarastic way of explaining this, but gets the "point" quickly.





I was watching South Park the other day and the episode about Metrosexuals came on. If you haven't seen it, the male population of the town goes metrosexual because queer eye for straight guy made gays popular. So, the gist of it is that being gay is "in" and straight guys pretend to be queer. I suppose this phenomenon - which I certainly observed among high schoolers at North Carolina School of the Arts - is congruent with Tila Tequila pretending to be bisexual because that's also "in" on TV. (A side note, a lesbian friend of mine worked on Tila's show and wanted to strangle that faking c-word)

I knew I was bi four years ago, but one of the things that kept me in the closet for three of those years was the fact that there are a lot of young people my age who are putting on a big queer show, for the sake of being popular, or iconoclastic, or simply bogarting our style. When I did come out, a lot of my friends accused me of pretending to be queer. Apparently, if I were genuinely queer, I would be gay and sucking dick ALL THE TIME. I'm not, so OBVIOUSLY, I MUST be straight and just CALLING MYSELF BISEXUAL. (Sorry to rant, I was getting annoyed at myself.)

My friend has said that the most insulting thing about the Tila show (which I refuse to watch) is that the so-called bisexual girls and straight guys on that show are acting out their pre-conceived notions of what authentic bi's are really like. Said pre-conceived notions seem to come mainly from porn.

Does this bother anyone else? Are you guys unnerved by metrosexuals who act all gay and sensitive to get into a girl's pants? Are you girls bothered by porn stars and reality show celebutards who fake kiss to put on a show for horny straight guys? Is the plotline of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" truly as insulting as I think it is?

:bipride:

[boca.openminded]

I am usually up very late hours (either due to work or insomnia) and while flipping through the tv channels I usually came across the MTV show starring Tila Tequila during its many repeats.

I know the producers only showed us what would produce ratings and considering probably 65% of their viewers are probably men they want to see 2 women kiss.

I watched most of the show which was on for 2 seasons. I dont think she was faking. She obviously is a horrible actress but when they showed her kissing other women it was wet & slippery. You dont get that turned on and into it if you are straight.

I've seen her on TMZ and they showed her with a girl that they state is / was her girlfriend.

[vittoria]

Does this bother anyone else? Are you guys unnerved by metrosexuals who act all gay and sensitive to get into a girl's pants? Are you girls bothered by porn stars and reality show celebutards who fake kiss to put on a show for horny straight guys? Is the plotline of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" truly as insulting as I think it is?

:bipride:


YES

sincerely..V

[_Joe_]

There whould be some sort of test when a person says they are bi, hours upon hours of forced sex with both sexes. ya.

and then, the Essay.

[FalconAngel]

I treat them the same way that I treat the guys that get into their leathers, then drive their car to a biker bar. They are not real bikers and I tell them so.

The guys that fake it to get laid are the same thing.

I say "Don't dress the part if you are not going to be the part".

[evilpanda]

Oh, good. I'm sooo glad it's not just me.
:flag2:

[kelvarnson]

I live in Winston and hang out with some of the NCSA folks from time to time, I know what you mean.

[eddy10]

Remembering the saying that goes something like this:

What you do speaks so loudly about what you are, that I can't hear what you say you are.
So, I always look for the actions and behavior that define a person.

As far as TV and movies go ... it is all fake anyway. The actors are just playing a role.

[Bi_Druid]

I know not what this Tila Tiquila thing is, but I know about the whole pretending thing of teen years. We had a group of people who used to feign and joke about being bi, simply as a rebelion status thing, which left me quietly most unsure about my own sexuality, becouse I was nothing like any of these supposed bi's. They were all into bagger trousers and chains and Green Day and stuff. Nice enough sorts but in a social teen-identity far conflicting my own. So to my adolescent working it out mind I thought "so that's what a bi is? well that's not me, I must be something else"

Fortunately I grew up and realised people do come in all shapes and sizes and their sexuality is but a small piece of a greater picture of a person.

But yes, I do still get annoyed, in a semi amused "oh grow up already" sort of way towards them. They do the perceptions of our sexuality few favours. Them selves ever fewer.

[diamond_tether]

It really wasn't that fashionable when I was in school, and that was less then a decade ago. The only thing you really heard about were the fakes (from grandiose retelling of parties) and the poor gay kids pretending to be straight (as if *everyone* didn't already know). Sucked seeing both sides of that coin up close. Worse yet, that I didn't really know how to help or what to do about it.

I can't say I truly understood all of what was going on with my own sexuality at the time (I was experimenting heavily), but I know that a lot of my own confusion had to do with general 'growing up' anxieties and concerns. Fitting in is paramount at that time in life. Kids have always been willing to do and engage in ridiculous behavior to fit in (remember the 80s and the clothes, ye gods!). So, the metrosexual thing catching on in the next step of gay/bi/open sexuality acceptance makes sense to me. It's kind of funny actually to see sociology at work, too. Straight people, like most orifices, need to be opened slowly and casually, lest something tear.

I feel Tila Tequila is a symptom of those changes. Her hare-brained antics and barely passable social bisexuality are another way to convince straight people that bisexuality is really okay. Maybe sexy sometimes, too. Her doing it all half-cocked and what not makes sense to people who don't understand bisexuality and would undoubtedly be half-cocked about it themselves, if only at first. Granted, I have *serious* issues with the perversion of female sexuality into what is effectively no more than fap-fodder, but Tila Tequila's a double-bladed sword; she helps in some ways, hurts in others. A ton of people watch her show. Are they getting the wrong idea? No doubt. But, does it mean they're more likely to actually saddle up one day, cross the sexual boundary and get in balls deep? I hope so.

I think teens/young adults (hell, anyone into that sort of television for that matter) getting into it these days just means there will be fewer people so hung up on sexuality in general decades from now (i.e. - default 'bisexual').

[jem_is_bi]

It would be nice if the perception of heterosexuals about non-heterosexuals were more accurate. Then, heterosexuals might even give us some of the respect they reserve for themselves. But, they are taught that we do evil sexual acts and are an evil influence on society. Further, they see us as a real threat to themselves and what they desire with all their heart for their children. Straight teens and young adults have always rebelled against social norms of their parents. So, even though they are straight, they act metro-sexual as a socially acceptable way to rebel. But, eventually heterosexuals will marry other heterosexuals and feel their sexual identity and religious beliefs threatened by our existence. We do not have their respect and never will and the negative stereotypes of non-heterosexuals they sell to other heterosexuals in the media will continue to be offensive.
Do, I have it all wrong? Should I be more hopeful for the future?

[DiamondDog]

It would be nice if the perception of heterosexuals about non-heterosexuals were more accurate. Then, heterosexuals might even give us some of the respect they reserve for themselves. But, they are taught that we do evil sexual acts and are an evil influence on society. Further, they see us as a real threat to themselves and what they desire with all their heart for their children. Straight teens and young adults have always rebelled against social norms of their parents. So, even though they are straight, they act metro-sexual as a socially acceptable way to rebel. But, eventually heterosexuals will marry other heterosexuals and feel their sexual identity and religious beliefs threatened by our existence. We do not have their respect and never will and the negative stereotypes of non-heterosexuals they sell to other heterosexuals in the media will continue to be offensive.
Do, I have it all wrong? Should I be more hopeful for the future?

I don't care about the poseurs/flakes.

I live my life and they can live their own.

Jem-You're over analyzing it too much. Most heterosexuls aren't the way you described IME, some can be homophobic yes but the hatred doesn't run that deep like it did during various times in various countries where homosexuality was and sometimes still is illegal, I mean we're not in Iran or Jamaica where people are killed and nobody cares, bats an eye, and in some cases if it's done by a family of the people/person they're probably encouraged to do this or think that it's the right thing to do. Also you're speaking from the perspective of someone who is in the closet. :2cents:

Anyway, this is just further proof that sexual orientation labels are going by the wayside, and that even if you happen to not be heterosexual people who are heterosexual don't care or are OK with it since thankfully homosexuality has become more and more mainstream/normalized.

What if Tila Tequila really is a bisexual woman but she's just an internet attention whore, gameshow contestant, and she wants to make it in the entertainment industry and later as a prostitute/pornstar when that fails?

Panda-About your friend, none of us are there with Tila, or on the show, and let's not forget how notorious some lesbians/dykes can be about hating bisexual women! ;) Maybe she's jealous that it's not a lesbian dating show?

Of course that would never fly on EmptyV (MTV) unless there was lots of high femme/lipstick and maybe some soft butch dykes like that boyish woman Dani that I found attractive, and anyway if it were an all lesbian/female dating game show I'm sure that A LOT of jealousy/catfights would ensue.....

These types of shows are usually rigged/totally plotted out anyway.

[evilpanda]

Panda-About your friend, none of us are there with Tila, or on the show, and let's not forget how notorious some lesbians/dykes can be about hating bisexual women! ;) Maybe she's jealous that it's not a lesbian dating show?



I'm not the only bisexual in my boss's circle. She has a lot of bi girl buds, most of whom I'm tight with. I just couldn't imagine her being jealous. These gals are the most awesomest ever and I luv 'em all. (I'm drunk right now)

I guess you're right; we won't ever really know for certain whether a third-rate celebrity on her fourteenth minute of fame is bi, and I guess we ultimately shouldn't care.

I'm cynical about that because I spent the last half-dozen years editing reality shows and I helped stage fake relationships for the cameras in the past. Not proud of it, not in the slightest. Hate reality shows. That's why I do documentaries like Inconvenient Truth now.

For the record, I know that I would tear up my paycheck and walk right out if I did something for a show that I know would offend my LGBT brothers and sisters.
:bipride::bipride::bipride: