Sharing the common understanding? Can YOU?

[onewhocares]

I am not sure this topic is relevant but I am going to give it a whirl.....

Today in chat I was among many people talking. I must have made one of my open and honest comments about being in a marriage to a bi man. How that I as a wife have had to face many obstacles that I never would have foreseen. Shortly thereafter this comment I was PM'ed by a man from the west coast who complimented me on my openness and my dedication and devotion to my husband, my love, soul mate and above all else....my FRIEND. He said that his situation was very much identical to ours. After some chatting I said that yes our situations were very much alike and that I would be more than happy to chat with his wife at some point to give her my thoughts and past experience. If I have been there why not share what I have garnered to help another. Hubby happened to be home at the time and I introduced them and they chatted for a bit too.

My question to you all is....Do you feel that on this site that we have an obligation to help those around us who have or might be in similar situations...no matter what the topic? I know that when I first came onto this site I was apprehensive about how I, the straight wife of a bi man, be accepted and treated. I was greeted by two wonderful women who opened the door and invited me into the fold...Kate and Arana. I have never forgotten their generosity of kind words of wisdom and welcoming.

I have always been of the belief that we should pass along our wisdom attained through pain and hard knowledge to others if we are so asked to do....your thoughts?


Belle

[nc_wsbi101]

Hi belle,
I think so...I was so warmly recieved here by you and several others. I'm the straight wife, too, and had a few questions. I find the people here to be most kind, honest, helpful and generous.

I very much appreciate the common understanding among us all. A whole new world has opened up for me.. since hub and I discovered this site.

I, for one, certainly appreciate those who share their wisdom and knowledge.

dorie

[FalconAngel]

Some people have a calling to help others, whenever possible. Those folks are compelled to do so by their consciences.

Are we compelled because we are on this site? No, but when we choose to help others, then we are offering something greater than just advice. We are offering answers where they may not have any or knowledge that they may not have.

[DiamondDog]

It depends on what they need help with.

I don't 'cast pearls before swine' when I know that the person/people asking either aren't going to listen to what I tell them when they're asking for advice/info since it's not what they want to hear, they're not going to follow the advice that I or anyone else gives them about their problem, or I just don't feel like playing therapist/shoulder to cry on to some random stranger online.

Also let's not forget that there are some things that someone has to do or go through themselves. :2cents:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Sweet Belle, while it isnt an 'obligation', I believe that those of us of..uhm, well..age..can be of help to those a bit younger, or those who just need a shoulder to lean on now and then. If we can impart with some advice, then I think this is a wonderful thing too. All of us can always use more friends and friends Help each other, are there for each other, and listen when times are hard, or when there is joy in our lives..that's the way it should be. And, if I can be a friend to someone who needs one, then I am fine with that as well.

Many of you accepted me in right away, and I am still very honored and proud to be a part of this loving little family. If I can be of help to someone new, then I try to be helpful and help them feel as comfortable as ya'll have made Me feel. Thats why I greet people coming into chat. I know how nervous I was my first time, and good it made me feel the next time when I was greeted with hugs, or just a Hi there, how are you? It makes one feel wanted and gives a sense of belonging, and that's a wonderful feeling for anyone. :wiggle2:

So keep on helping if you like..it just shows what a wonderful person you truly Are. :}
Hugs
Your Cat:paw:

[DubTak]

Belle-

I have always held that helping others in need is tantamount to all else. Being bisexual, gay, or straight has no bearing on that. There is also no illusion in the Bi community (to my knowledge) that being bisexual in this society is easy for us or for our loved ones, regardless of their sexuality. I am glad that you have found aid here, and know that love and caring are universal to all orientations.

-DubTak:bipride:

[kitten]

Sharing wisdom and most of all letting people know they are not alone in their experience is a good thing.

[bisocialnudist]

Belle I feel that helping others benefits us in so many ways. We are called to do this in many different ways. As a bisexual husband I really enjoy helping both other bisexuals as well as their spouses through some of the difficulties those of us in mixed orientation marriages face. I consider this just as valid a way to give back as some of the more mainstream helping others activities.

The more we all can help others understand and accept bisexuality the better our world will be . It a good feeling to see a mixed orientation marriage not only survive but become stronger and better then ever.

Thanks for raising this important point. You are a powerful example of how its done.

Mark

[rassilon953]

I was really wary of the thread title but really impressed by the actual question. Somebody some way up made the point that some people are compelled to help, and to an extent i go along with that. I also agree with Cherokee's point that there's nothing wrong with (ahem, sorry mountaincat) the older helping the younger. All of which goes to demonstrate that some people are in a position to help some other people. And that changes over time - we all have ups and downs, so whilst I might feel ready to take on the world today, maybe I'll be looking for a shoulder tomorrow.

Maybe that's my answer then - if you can help someone now, do so now, because you might need somebody's help later, whether theirs or somebody else's. But in practical terms, this is a website, so your best friend here today could vanish permanently tomorrow, which highlights the link between obligation and commitment. I don't think you should expect members here to feel obligated, but it would be great if those same members demonstrated to other members that they're committed!

I'm not sure I've explained myself very well, in which case the really short answer is "no" (lol).

Charlie