Coming Out Stories

[NightWalker314]

i'm really interested in hearing coming out stories cuz, i'm not really out yet and i wanna hear how other ppl came out, how their family and friends reacted, etc...

so, i'm only out to 2 ppl and here's how it happened:
person 1: there was a rumor going around amongst my cirlce of friends back home (i'm away at college!!) that my best friend was a lesbian. the story was that she was seen by her brother and our other friend walking down the street holding hands with a girl. they were too afraid to confront her, so i did. i texted her and told her the situation and she told me to tell them that she wasn't gay but that's all she would say. then she texted me and was like what i'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone. i knew exactly where this conversation was going so i told myself that if she came out to me i would come out to her. well she did. she told me she was genderqueer and that she was pansexual. i was excited cuz i thought she was just gay and when i came out to her she would tell me that i was really gay and didn't want to admit it. so i told her i was pansexual as well and we had a really long and deep discussion about our orientation and i finally got to see a pic of her girlfriend who she had been seeing for two years. the whole experience was really positive for me.
person 2: i met this guy in my math class. we hit it off right away and we have a lot in common. he dropped out of my math class and even though we live like 2 rooms away from each other we didn't see each other much. we ran into each other one day and decided to go to a gay bar. we danced the whole night and had a really good time. he was telling me about his past relationships and he mentioned his ex-girlfriend. i was really surprised and was like i thought u were gay and he was like no i'm bi. so i was like me too! (which is not completely true, but its not a lie either). we talked about our orentation too. and so far that experience has been really positive as well, but we don't really know each other that well so i'm kinda worried that he will spill the beans to my roommate or my other friends.

so those our my stories. please post yours. i'm especially interested in how ur family reacted cuz i'm thinking about telling my sister, but idk how she'll take it.

[opentoideas1964]

Unfortunately for me, I told my niece who was living with me,(Was told by her all the kids suspected, even though I had never acted on it) Just after we came to disagreement,(she was living with me and not being responsible or paying her bills and left) , so I suspect the rest of the family knows by now. No one has contacted me or returning my calls....:(

[jem_is_bi]

I have not done it. I never want to do it. But, I am not willing to do absolutely anything to avoid it. So, it probably will happen to me. Hopefully, it will not be as traumatic as I believe it will be. That would be a pleasant surprise. :) But, what if it is worse than expected! :eek:
Planned or unplanned I guess it is just part of all that make life less than boring, so I cannot complain.

[wikskul]

"coming out" was a good experiance for me... yes some didnt take to it very well.. but most were understanding. when i first came out it was to friends... in highschool, luckly we already had a bi male who was a friend so it didnt shock them to much.. when i came otu to me adopted dad... well him and my step mom almost fainted... she was sooo happy and he didnt know how to take it.. i still dont think he quite understands. my mom... well i disowned her before i told her (totally different story lol ) but it was very liberating for me... that i wasnt hiding anymore.. and the friends i lost due to it.. well they werent real friends in the first place... so it didnt matter... and family.. well that is tricky.. but if u feel they could handle it.. then be upfront and honest, if not the choice is yours. but always be tru to yourself.. no matter who says what and why... tell them who u r not what they want to hear.just my :2cents:

[innaminka]

Coming out was a gradual process of self-exploration.
It didn't happen till I was in my 30's, had two children, a loving husband and a business that was starting to succeed.
I'd always known there was something "different' in my attitude to women, but as I was an enthusiastic heterosexual, I maybe lived in a state of ignorance and self-denial - which is sooooooo much easier.
It actually took an 'encounter' with another woman, which was unplanned - it just happened - to make me realise I related equally to women.
My coming out to myself was the hardest, longest and up to now most painful aspect of my bisexuality. Talk about self-doubt!!!! :eek:
(There has since been a lot of subsequent pain and difficulties along with a tremendous amount of joy, satisfaction and growth.)
I am "out" to my husband, my 2 sisters and a few close friends and my business partner - who being real friends have not passed it on. (I think)
My husband was initially angry, confused, shattered, confused - but the key to his understanding was I was still the same person he'd fallen in love with, and I with him, and I still did. This was about 12 years ago. It took time, but he lives with it: it is the Great Unspoken now
The hardest thing will be when I deem it the right time to "come out" to my daughters - now 18 and 16. The older one has some unanswered questions about my behaviours, but till now, the sleeping dogs are still sleeping.

[anteak]

Hi all: I don't understand the neccessity of "cumming out" to anyone I'm not going to have sex with and then only to the same sex partners. I had a long lasting relationship with a couple and we did everything three people can do. I ate her, fucked her, she sucked me. He and I sucked each other and he fucked me. My GF joined us once but we curtailed our activities somewhat. He and I did not get intimate allthough my GF did go down on the lady, It was something she wanted to try. and was the main reason we got toether in the first place. The thought of telling her I liked to suck cock never entered my mind. I did not feel any guilt and still don"t. If she had ever asked I would have said yes, I enjoy getting fucked, sucked and sucking cock.

[alegrias]

I came out to my husband, but I have no intention of coming out to anyone else. Details of my sex life is just something I don't discuss with people who know my real name, even if it's just straight sex with my husband.

[DiamondDog]

I've been out to family and friends for more than a decade and my parents knew about me before I did.

It's not a big deal and I don't tell anyone about my sex life by being out and when people have asked me questions about myself I have answered them.

[liamt]

I have come out to my wife and to a few close friends, but I am feeling the need to come out to everyone lately.

[bisocialnudist]

I understood that I was bisexual when I was in my teens and early twentys but never accepted it. When I reached my fifties and finally came to understand that not only was I sexually attracted to both men and women but that it was acceptable I felt the time had come to get rid of the shame. The day I came out to myself eighteen months ago and said with my head held high its OK to be bi was life changing sort of an epiphany.

Ive since come out to my wife (for the 2nd time), my twenty something children, my mid eighties parents, various friends and my boss. I am out to anyone that has a need to know that about me. I hope to serve as a role model to those who are struggling. I didnt have any role models to guide me back in the 70's. It wasn't a viable lifestyle choice back then. Also by being out I am now visible which means I can get a me to and I understand from other less visible married bisexuals.

Some don't have this need,in fact many dont understand the need to come out at all as a bisexual especially when one is married. Thats fine for them we all have our unique needs. I just kind of felt that if I was going to assimilate same sex and opposite sex attraction into my core identity and make it just part of who I am that I had to lose the shame.

Hiding who I was implied that I was not comfortable with that aspect of me. Everyone has been really accepting and in fact I wish Id just come out at 22 and stayed out. Oh well,

As to how I came out it varied. My wife I just sat her down and told her that my same sex attraction was a much bigger part of who I was then I thought it was. We have had numerous discussions since and our understanding has evolved. I told my kids when my daughter made fun of a feminine gesture I had and said " if you were not married to Mom id swear you were gay," Ireplied "well guess what Im not Gay but I am bi". Made for an interesting family conversation.

She took it really well in fact she thinks its really cool. She believes that she can tell a bi dad anything, shes probably right.
My other relatives and friends have all just accepted it as being who I am. Some havnt really understood the need for me to come out at first but once I explain they can see my point.

[innaminka]

Hi all: I don't understand the neccessity of "cumming out" to anyone I'm not going to have sex with



I agree - the reason I am out to those people, husband, business partner, friends is because I may be in position where my bisexuality affects them.
Well, with my husband it certainly does - and I'm NOT talking 3'somes or stuff like that.

My sisters? - I think to just help me with the coming to terms.

My daughters? I do not want them to find me in any form of f/f sistuation without pre-warnings.

I agree no one else need know.

[bret5668]

Personally I don't desire to "come out" to anyone, my wife however is another story, i felt compelled to tell her before we we're married (it wasn't a pleasant conversation), my sexual preferences are my own business, and what happens behind closed doors stays there.

If someone I know well, whether it be a relative or a close personal friend asks me flat out about my sexual preferences I will not deny my bisexuality, but I will not go out of my way to make it known.

To each there own in my opinion, but beware, it can be a load off your mind, as well as a burden for the person you disclose that information to, especially if the person you choose to tell is not as open minded as you are.

[MarieDelta]

well it depends

as trans I am out to -


Friends
dates and potential dates
anyone not in my professional life

As bi-

Ex-Wife
potential dates/dates
(not out to anyone else as bi, except people who need to know)

I suppose that I dont care whether the mailman knows or any of the rest of the world, as long as I get to keep my job.

[kelsey]

I am out to most of my family,friends and my father whom has raised me on his own.I knew that I was bisexual when I was 7 years old.I did come out to my father when I was 13 and and he saw a look on my face during supper one night which I told him I had to come out about something.I did come out to him after we put dishes away after we washed them after supper was done.We sat down at the kitchen table and I came out: Dad,you know I love you and there has been something on my mind lately,it's my sexual orentation.Dad,I am bisexual and I like boys and girls.He looked at me,said he was proud of me coming out with my sexual orentation and told me that he still loves me.He still does to this day.Rest of my family heard the news and also told me they still love me