a heartbreaking occassion

[nightwatcher]

dear friends

i have something saddening to share with you guys.

not that anyone can do anything. just felt like talking it out, even if it seems fruitless online.

i am a newbie who came in last year, after a gay friend of mine unintentionally led me to find that i am a bi. we had some mutual masturbation then, and, since then, we had met quite a few times for it.

i started to feel attracted to him, even though he did not in any real sense liked me. he only liked me cos i look young and fit his idea of cuteness. (we are good friends nonetheless.) but somehow i was still attracted to him. maybe it's cos he's my only friend who actually accepted me and made me feel good.

my heart totally sank when he told me he had a boyfriend for quite a while.

i told him it is not nice for me to play around with him when he has a boyfriend. i see that as infidelity. if i distance from him, i'll have no one to confide in. that is especially so when i do not know any other bisexuals in my country singapore.

in other words, i am alone.

this is not exactly an eloquently penned piece. totally unlike my normally composed self. my mind is in a mess. but hope it is still comprehensible. thanks for reading.

[JohnnyV]

I feel for you. The best I can say is, you have a future ahead of you. If you're cute enough to get into this frustrating mess, you're cute enough to get into a good relationship too.

Forget your friend. Maybe he isn't totally wrong, but nonetheless, he has already hurt two people by not being honest. You may want to detach yourself rather than be the brunt of a third strike.

J

[arana]

I'm so sorry for you Nightwatcher. Your friend does not sound like a very nice person. If he was a good friend he would know your feelings on such things and not hurt you by leading you in this direction. He would have been honest with you from the start and let you decide if you wanted to do those things with him. As Johnny says, you will find others that are accepting of you and want to begin relationships with you that are true.

Good luck!

[Michael623]

Friendships are built on compatibility, trust, respect and consideration. Don't settle for less.

Good luck!
Michael

[wanderingrichard]

you came thru just fine, hon.. i can't add more to what has already been said except, " good luck"

[nightwatcher]

thanks so much for reading and sharing. it's good to have people who still cares.

it is a practical advice to be away from him for a while, or lose him totally. that allows for healing of those hurts. but there is too much emotion involved that it is hard to think straight.

i am trying to get myself detached from the situation now, reading a novel during my days off work, etc.

to leave him or not totally, i will not decide now. too messed up, my head.

can it be true that he does not know the severity of what he has done? meaning that he and his gay community are more open to having sexual encounters with other people?

dunno anything, anymore.

thanks, to j v, arana, mike & rich for your replies!

nw

[3naib]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((NW)))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))

I lived in Asia for almost 2 years... 1 full year in the very industrial and also traditional city of Tianjin China. NOT the pulsing metropolis of Singapore to be certain. I thought I would be there for as long as 10 years... circumstances brought me back to the US.

I feel your loneliness keenly... Parts of Asia are very unkind and ignorant to homosexuals... and bisexuals don't even exist! Your path is lonely, but your heart 9 & your head) are the key to finding happiness. First you have to find it within you, and only then you can find in "out there". If you are open and honest, you can attract and create the kind of relationship you hope for- because you are the architect!

I agree with everyone too, don't settle for less.

I did some research for you- there is A LOT more available to you than I had in Tianjin- take advantage of it! You are not as alone as you might think.

I really hope that you find these helpful!!!

You are ALWAYS welcome here. Never hold back... ask for you need!








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http://www.fridae.com/cityguides/singapore/sg-hiv.php

http://www.fridae.com/newsfeatures/article.php?articleid=1054&viewarticle=1&searchtype=section&cat=

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/4857/guidefaq.html#6

http://www.biresource.org/

http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/bisex_movements.html

http://www.biwot.org/resources.html

http://www.newsintercom.org/index.php?itemid=279

http://www.time.com/time/asia/features/sex/sexgay.html






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