Hypnotic bisexualization

[Apleasureseeker]

I've been seeing a pretty bisexual psychologist on & off for a while. She's really enthuseastic about opening up me (and everybody else!) to both sexes. Now, 'm pretty low on the bisex scale, it's been a very long time since I've been with another guy, and I'd like to. So a few month ago she started to do thing to feed my homosex side, like having me talk about my bisexual fantasies while we're having sex. One of the most interesting things she did was to hypnotize me. In trance, she programmed me so that when I masturbated to porn, I'd become more aroused by the action, but gradually stop noticing the women. I have to say it worked brilliantly! After a few months, I've developed a real, powerful erotic response to men. Even in my bisex encounters, I was more in for the sex than the guy, but now I have an appreciation for the beauty of a male body fucking & coming. I can watch ay porn and really enjoy all of it, and even my fantasies are more homosexual. It hasn't yet carried over to my sex life, but I'm looking forward to it. My sex life is unchanged so far--I'm attractred to women in person, but not yet to men.

The masturbation has been excellent training, but she wants to go further. She thinks it would be a good idea to permanently inhibit my ability to orgasm except to gay imagery. I'm a pretty dominant guy, but I've got to say I
m kind of turned on by the idea. What do you guys think?

[elmwood7]

I think if she does that she's trying to turn you gay not bisexual.

[Realist]

I think you have always had those desires, she is just erasing your inhibitions. I don't think you can be hypnotized to do something you are against doing.

Hypnotism is interesting and some people are more prone to being "put under" than others. No one has ever been able to hypnotize me.

My first wife was mildly bi; I really think she suppressed it, but I could talk her through sexual situations with a girl that could cause her to have an orgasm, with no touching, whatsoever. It was amazing to watch her cum that way. (She had been hypnotized by a professional, before and seemed very easy to do)

I'd put her under, tell her her hands were tied, but they were not;she could not move them. I'd tell her that her first female lover was kissing her, caressing her body and kissing her nipples, touching her inner thighs; her nipples would get very erect, as would her clitoris, and her vagina would begin to lubricate. As I'd take her through each step, her face would get hot and blush. Her hips would involuntarily thrust, her breathing would come in gasps. When she orgasmed, her vagina would pulsate and she's flow enough cum to wet the bed.

I programmed her to wake up during her orgasm and each time she said it was an amazing thing to experience. She would not remember why she became aroused, or what induced the orgasm.

The mind is a powerful thing....who knows it's full potential?

[Westwick]

I think your friend should quit the hypnosis stuff. You should enjoy sex naturally with whoever you want, not be controlled by someone elses ideas of what is right for you. And sex with a person is way better than sex with porn. Porn is unreal and impersonal. No sweat no smell no taste and especially no emotional interchange. What if you let her hypnotise you and she decides to leave you that way? If it sticks, you have given up real life for video fantasies. I don't know your friend, but I am angry at her. She is messing with you.

[csrakate]

I assume that by "seeing" this psychologist you are saying you are dating her and not going to her as a patient, BUT if you are her patient, then I suggest you get yourself another therapist ASAP! Regardless, I am offended that a trained psychologist would even begin to suggest this technique to you whether it's as a friend or as your doctor! Talk about mind control! I realize that no one can be forced into doing something that they don't have the inclination to do, but to use imagery and hypnosis to "block" out other scenarios and further enhance others is not what she has been trained to do as a professional. It's one thing to use such techniques to help someone get past a trauma or some other life altering situation, but to use them to for the sole purpose of inhibiting your "ability to orgasm except to gay imagery" is playing with your mind and taking things a bit too far. You need to be true to yourself and if gay imagery is what truly turns you on, then you need to discover that on your own and in your own time. I just don't see the need for her to play with your head to this extent. It's not what she's been trained to do and it may only serve to cause you more harm and confusion in the future and in future relationships.

Just my:2cents:
Kate

[_Joe_]

This really starts off as a work of freaky fiction.....

[izzfan]

Maybe she was just trying to get you to understand the more repressed areas of your sexuality. However, the idea that you can hypnotise someone in order to change/alter their sexuality sounds quite scary - sort of reminds me of all that "ex-gay"/"reparative therapy" crap (although probably the opposite in your case LOL!).

As for inhibiting your ability to orgasm except to gay images/situations. I'd advise that you ask her not to do this as repressing ANY side of your sexuality (including your straight side) can be very damaging.

From what you are saying, you seem to be bisexual rather than gay. So, what's so bad about liking women as well? I may be misunderstanding the situation but it seems like your psychologist does not understand bisexuality or is one of these people who holds the misguided opinion that bisexuality "doesn't exist".

[Apleasureseeker]

Clarification--by "seeing" I meant dating casually, not professionally! I'm casually seeing more than one woman right now, and she's actually turned on by that. I've used little head-games to enhance the sexual experiecne of my lovers since I was a teenager (you know: "Say my name!" While a girl is coming, or "Don't come yet!" whne she's about to, for a more explosive orgasm). I'm pretty dominant, but I don't mind being played a little to better understand the expereince I can give a lover.
From what I've experienced, I don't think any of this stuff can change my external behavior. It hasn't affected my play with any of the woman I've been with. I do wish it would help attract men to me, though. That's a part of my sexuality I'm now prepared to explore more than I was a few years ago, and that's why I'm excited about this. Even when I was with men before it was with other guys like me--straight horney and just a littl bi. It was all aobut our cocks. Since I've been under this, My homosexual fantasies are much more in depth. I think about holding, touching, licking, massaging. Still not sure about kissing, though. I've discovered a lot more beauty in male anatomy--the way his back flexes when he's fucking, the way a slim young guy's belly spasms when he's ejaculating, the feel of the skin at the base of the cock between my lips, how hard a cockhead feels when being massaged through a foreskin. Woof!
Now, i've known people, both men adn women, who've been seduced at a moment of weakess by someone of the same sex, and that's not cool at all. Typically, the attacker "befriends" the victim to protect themselves, and it really messes up the victim. what I'm doing is very consensual.

[DiamondDog]

This really starts off as a work of freaky fiction.....

I agree.

No good psychologist would do this to/with their patient or to a friend/someone who they're dating, and while you can talk about your sexuality with a psychologist if they're any good they won't force you to do anything when it comes to sex and they won't have sex with you.

I know you said how you're dating her but I'd get really annoyed if someone tried doing that stuff you wrote about with me or told me how they thought that I "should" behave/react sexually in their mind.

I agree with Izzfan who said how this is like the opposite of the born again Christian "ex"-gay therapy/brainwashing, and we all know how that's a big failure.

If you're really more into men like I am for sexual attraction/romance, there's no need at all for this type of sexual conditioning, hypnosis, or being put into a fake trance.

What's the point of all of this anyway? Does she really believe that she's helping you or something?

If you're more into women for sexual attraction and romance, there's nothing you can do to change that.

I have a gay friend that is interested in hypnosis and combining it with SM but he says how most people fail at it miserably and he'll sometimes play along but he knows he's not really hypnotized or acting without his own will/consent.

Also you wrote about how the men you had sex with were more phallic focused, that's very common even among gay men (duh!) and just because you are mostly into each other's penises, it's not a bad thing.

[FalconAngel]

We are with DD on this one. No reputable Psychiatrist would do those kinds of things.

Hypnosis is for pretty severe cases, which, it sounds like, you were not.

What she did is a violation of her oath as a healer and every principle that she is supposed to believe in.

[vittoria]

This really starts off as a work of freaky fiction.....

"Know what I mean Vern?"

[Apleasureseeker]

Guys, maybe I didn't express myself clearly, maybe you guys are reading into this. I seem to be reading a lot of feedback about stuff I don't think I said. I'm NOT a patient--I'm a boyfriend. She keeps her professional life totally separate from her personal, and that's completely ethical. Think I mentioned to you guys that I enjoy certain kinds of headgames to enhance sexuality, and I'm enjoying being gamed for a change. I'm not being converted or manipulated, just experimenting. Some of you guys were concerned that I was being 'converted' hypnotically, and even linked it to some sort of anti-gay christian stuff. Huh?! As for hypnosis, it actually isn't in most shrink's toolkits. She came across it in her erotic interests. Hypnosis isn't just used for serious things, it can be used for any kind of willing behavioral change.
DiamondDog, I don't mean to single you out, but you've totally read into my posting a lot of stuff that isn't there. There was never any mention of force, therapy, or brainwashing.
Forgive me for sharing. If it sounds like freaky fiction, I guess it just means I'm having a better time than some other people...

[DiamondDog]

seeker-OK but you never said just why she's apparently doing this to you? Or why you want it done to yourself? What good is it going to do you or her? What if she takes her headgames/conditioning so far that you never want sex with her ever again?

Yes you can use hypnosis during bondage/SM but what's the point of trying to sexually condition someone with it into something that they're not?

If you're not mostly homosexual or bisexual but more sexually/romantic into men no amount of hypnosis, sexual conditioning, or putting you into a trance is going to make you something that you're not.

For example as much as I'd like a bi closeted male friend of mine to be or become way more sexually/romantically into men like I am, I know that it's not going to happen in this lifetime, and I'm not going to try to change him or make him into something he's not since it wouldn't work.

If you really are more into men when it comes to sex/romance, you'd either know it long before you were sexually active with anyone, you'd realize it during/after having sex with a man/men for the first time, or even after having sex with a woman for the first time.

From my experience doing Sex and Magic with men or even just vanilla sex with men, man on man sex/erotica takes me further and deeper into the spiritual than any SM or sex I've done with women has and we've never done or used hypnosis/trance, or anything like that.

[Apleasureseeker]

Hi DD,
Having dominant tendancies, I enjoy controlling the way my partners achieves pleasure when they're with me. That's not so easy. If I wanted to tie a person up and make them orgasm purely from nipple play, or give them hous of great sex and deny the orgasm from them entirely (both fun, BTW), it's not hard to do. But to do it in such a way that it gives them as much pleasure as it give me? Well, that's not as easy. So you have to know it from both sides--helper and helpless. sex is about give and take, and mutual fun. So as a dominant, it's in my interest to submit from time to time, if I want to be the best fuck I can be. But I have to be careful not to step over the line with my partners where it's not a turn-on for them any more, and on the recieveing end of it, I can see the point where she looses me. I just can't get into kissing or anal with guys, or any strong emotional exchange. She Loves the idea of two men having loving, romantic sex, with slow kisses and deep penetration, but honestly, no amount of hypnosis can ever condition me into that. I just get bored and turned off.

The hypnosis has pretty much helped me define how bisexual I am. It's been fantastic for unblocking my sexual response to erotic imagery of men. At first, I only felt my bisexuality on rare occasions. It just hit me at awkward moments, sand then was gone before I knew it. Not useful. The hypnotic training, combined with focused masturbation has really helped me get past my inhibitions. Farther than that, it won't work. So I'm pretty happy that my sexual fantasy life is now strongly male-oriented, and I'm hoping this will help me sieze on bisexual opportunities when they come along, but i'm still as hetero as ever in my skin-on-skin life, and loving it!

[elian]

Very interesting - here I am with what I thought were gay feelings, now convinced more bisexual feelings, spending a way-too-big chunk of my life and all this time fighting with myself over how I could relate to "normal" society and what I could "live with" in terms of sexual desire and attraction - and I come upon someone who actually WANTS to elicit and amplify those feelings..

If you are doing this for your partner then I suppose it's not much different than other partners who are willing to tolerate or participate as bi-curious for the sake of the desires of the other mate.

Maybe what I'm missing is whether or not you've actually always HAD an innate desire to be with men? - but maybe have suppressed it heavily? Either way - it is what it is - and you are you..nothing wrong with that.

They always go for the porn images eh? You couldn't just talk about it openly with her? - instead it has to hit you over the head like a load of bricks that you are masturbating to pictures of men and you like it?

Personally - and generally speaking - I am thrilled to watch either sex come to orgasm - I'm more romantically attracted to guys I think.

On face value what you wrote initially does sound kind of like a twisted ex-gay-ministry sort of thing - but if you like the M&S play then I can see how that sort of thing might appeal to you.

Just rambling,
-E

[twisted sister]

none of my business, but this sounds like mind games to me. and as you have already stated you're into games. so go for it and have fun. mind games are not my cup of tea, but then i like lemon in my tea and others like cream. just take care
sis

[Apleasureseeker]

Very interesting - here I am with what I thought were gay feelings, now convinced more bisexual feelings, spending a way-too-big chunk of my life and all this time fighting with myself over how I could relate to "normal" society and what I could "live with" in terms of sexual desire and attraction - and I come upon someone who actually WANTS to elicit and amplify those feelings..-E

Hi Elian. I'm actually pretty comfortable with my sexuality. I feel I'm 100% hetero, and about 20% bisexual on top of that. Before puberty, I was very attracted to girls, and occasionally attracted to boys as well. I think it was Freud who identified homosexuality as a less mature form of sex. Maybe it ws this kind of sexuality he was thinking of. Form early puberty, I was very driven to girls . I still am (had a few interesting times with both boys and girls while playign doctor, though), but after about age 30, The intensity let up a little. Didn;t affect my feelings towards girls, but it did open the door for my homosexual feelings to emerge a little. It helps a lot that I'm still comfortable with my heterosexuality. I can enjoy homoerotica and not feel so compromised. I actually don't use much porn, but when i'm sexually aroused without orgasm for long periods of time I become much more bisexual, and i'm trying to avoid cumming more than 3-4 times a month. Honestly, the first time I came to the image of a male it wa while watching a porno, and man, was I surprised! It was one I'd watched over & over, & never was turned on by the guys before. I ws just casually pumping my cock, this guy with a monster cock stood there full screen dialoging with another guy, and I just exploded! That was emotionsally a little difficult for me. I tried it again and kapow! My penis was gay?! how did that happen?

Well, the bottom line of all these games are that i want to find an equilibrium that i'm comfrotable with, and have some fun doing it. I'm actually pretty comfortable talking about it--to the right people! The current porn/JO regimen is like athletic training for my bisexual reflexes. I actually stick to it even when i'm not in the mood, and it does help define where I want to be. Normally I Jerk off very rarely. Like i said, i try to limit my own orgasms (and i'm currently seeing more than one gal, too! I make them work for the sperm, and I don;t always let them have it. I'm not just a salty drinking fountain, you know).

Listen, if you're feeling conflicted, talk to someone. I've used hypnosis for other non-sexual issues before and it helped me respolve them, but there are all sorts of therapies. One way or another, I'm betting you will get over your current conflicts and find a resolution that will make you feel really happy with yourself. I have no direct expereince with GLBT groups, but i know they offer advice adn referrals to councelling, and I know people who've worked for these groups and they're very committed.

[Apleasureseeker]

none of my business, but this sounds like mind games to me. and as you have already stated you're into games. so go for it and have fun. mind games are not my cup of tea, but then i like lemon in my tea and others like cream. just take care
sis

It is mind games, but only good ones. Gender roles are there, even in the most vanilla same-sex encounters. The trick is just to use them intensify the pleasure. Your mind is your most intense sex organ, and I hope the people you sleep with know all the right places to touch it. he most obvious stuff seems weird and fetishistic, but there's plenty of simple fun stuff, too. I've always loved the way role reversal gets women going. I don't know what it is that tuens you on, but I once whispered into a girl's ear, while we were dancing, how much I was dying to suck her cock. I don't know if she actually came, but seh couldn't stop shaking (in a good way!). I don't think I would have gotten the same response if I'd said I wanted to eat her pussy.

[elian]

Listen, if you're feeling conflicted, talk to someone. I've used hypnosis for other non-sexual issues before and it helped me respolve them, but there are all sorts of therapies. One way or another, I'm betting you will get over your current conflicts and find a resolution that will make you feel really happy with yourself. I have no direct experience with GLBT groups, but i know they offer advice adn referrals to counseling, and I know people who've worked for these groups and they're very committed.

I am slowly, with much help from some very wonderful people working my way through being less introverted to expressing who I really want to be. Sexuality is a part of that I suppose. This is indeed an extraordinary time for LGBT folks - to pass gay marriage laws, to have them repealed, to have a riot where an entire gay community stands up against a national religion, to hear a Barbara Walters special about "What is a man, What is a woman?" - no wonder why the fundementalists are going nuts.

In terms of that special I have to admit, at first I was a little conflicted. Here was a trans F to M person who kept his vagina - otherwise male in every way I could think of. As a couple he and his wife decided they wanted to have a baby, but wife had hysterectomy so he want off testosterone, they purchased semen online, wife "impregnated" him and he carried the baby to full term (none of the doctors would do it for "ethical" reasons). Apparently now they are fighting because the state first told him he had to be listed as the mother on the birth certificate, then the state labeled it "parent, parent" and they want to sue to have it changed because it doesn't represent their ideals of self identity and someone could threaten the wife's right to the child since she isn't the biological mother.

Have to admit I was conflicted about this - but like anything else I think about it and try to process it and use it to broaden my perspective. It seems like this is the end result of two people who really do love each other for what's on the inside - it would also seem that they view physical sex characteristics more for utility. He did say that he just doesn't think the penis makes him a man - that years of hormones have enlarged his clitoris and they are perfectly happy using that (very candid statement for a network TV interview). I know lots of men who disagree about the value of the penis, maybe those other men are obsessed with something, burdened by culture that this trans person didn't endure and so doesn't have the emotional baggage that goes with it. It also seems to be a really good example of the fact that two loving PEOPLE can make a home to raise a child. I have no doubt that child will be loved by her parents - I just wish the rest of society could get over it.

Although I was conflicted, what really bothered me a whole lot more were examples of the death threats against the whole family - on the answering machine, in Emails..very disturbing, and sad judgments made by people who obviously have "all the answers".

Sorry to hijack the thread - just sort of wondered off topic.
-E

[Bluebiyou]

Apleasureseeker,
You seem to be lightly playing with serious things. Sure, you're fine to sexually play with whatever you feel comfortable with (within law/morality - you're not having sex with children/animals).
But hypnosis is a potentially powerful tool, not a sex toy.
From one dude to another, 'haul ass'.
Looking from the outside, in... I question her agenda, big time. You clearly don't see that now, because you're having fun/doing something different.
When this is over with her can you go back to where you were?
Would you label the net change growth?
Good luck.

[Apleasureseeker]

Apleasureseeker,
You seem to be lightly playing with serious things. Sure, you're fine to sexually play with whatever you feel comfortable with (within law/morality - you're not having sex with children/animals).
But hypnosis is a potentially powerful tool, not a sex toy.
From one dude to another, 'haul ass'.
Looking from the outside, in... I question her agenda, big time. You clearly don't see that now, because you're having fun/doing something different.
When this is over with her can you go back to where you were?
Would you label the net change growth?
Good luck.

Agreed that hypnosis can be a powerful tool, but not a tool that can force changs on a person. From all my experience, and I've had hypnosis for other, minor, non-sexual issues, it doesn't work if you aren't really willing or ready for the change. She's not doing anyhting to me that I'm not a party to, and still, i have my douebts that this will work very far. I mean, it's opened up my masturbation life to more bisexuality, but my real life is unchanged. Actually, i'd be pretty happy if it was more open. I do appreciate your concern, and I did a lot of research before jumping in. hypnosis isn't as scary or dangerous as you might think.