Trying to understand sexuality...

[clrinsight]

My wife and I have been happily married for 7 years. Before we met I had a total of about 6 sexual partners my entire life, 3 were men, 3 were women. My wife, on the other hand was extremely promiscuous and has slept with too many men to count. She has related to me that on particular nights when she was younger she was with 3 different men in one night. Since we are very open with each other since before marriage there is no judging about each others past, in fact we are open and happy with it. She loves to hear about my gay experiences and I love to listen to her tell me about men she has slept with. We are now at a point where all the talk has gotten the best of us and we want to act on it. I desparately want to see her with another man and she wants to be with me while I have sex with another guy. She also is wanting to have her first lesbian experience.
The problem - I have so many conflicting feelings and fears, especially of losing her to someone else and I'm having a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do. This isn't someting you can just talk about with the guys, all my current friends are very anti-gay. I know, I need new friends. My last girlfriend and I had a threesome with another man and I loved it, it lead to me sleeping with him but I lost her and I don't want that to happen again. Would appreciate any advice... Hope this doesn't sound stupid or whiney but where else can I talk about this...

[Cogent]

You have a ticking time bomb... if that's who you both are, it's what may come out anyway, eventually

She doesn't seem to mind you sexuality.... so it may be that MMF doesn;t turn her off. But she likes sex a lot... that may resume.. and her discivery of sex with women might chnge her... but that's who you are

How strong is your relationship outside of the sex.. how close, committed and partnering are you? If the bond is strong (you've been married 7 years) it may withstand the unknown




My wife and I have been happily married for 7 years. Before we met I had a total of about 6 sexual partners my entire life, 3 were men, 3 were women. My wife, on the other hand was extremely promiscuous and has slept with too many men to count. She has related to me that on particular nights when she was younger she was with 3 different men in one night. Since we are very open with each other since before marriage there is no judging about each others past, in fact we are open and happy with it. She loves to hear about my gay experiences and I love to listen to her tell me about men she has slept with. We are now at a point where all the talk has gotten the best of us and we want to act on it. I desparately want to see her with another man and she wants to be with me while I have sex with another guy. She also is wanting to have her first lesbian experience.
The problem - I have so many conflicting feelings and fears, especially of losing her to someone else and I'm having a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do. This isn't someting you can just talk about with the guys, all my current friends are very anti-gay. I know, I need new friends. My last girlfriend and I had a threesome with another man and I loved it, it lead to me sleeping with him but I lost her and I don't want that to happen again. Would appreciate any advice... Hope this doesn't sound stupid or whiney but where else can I talk about this...

[FalconAngel]

The solution is the same for a couple getting into swinging.

1. Sit down and talk about it and find the limits and boundaries that each of you can live with. Make compromises that both of you can live with.

2. Make sure that you do not exceed the boundaries and limitations that you have set together.

3. Make sure that you tell and show each other how you feel about everything with it.

4. When you set those limits and expectations, you must both remember and understand that it is just sex. It is not romance, nor should it be anything more than just a good time for all concerned.

5. Make sure that whoever you decide to play with knows your boundaries, your rules and understands and respects them.

6. Any time that the two of you have any concerns regarding sex, sexuality or play, then talk about it openly and with respect and love for each other.

[vittoria]

I've been finding myself agreeing with FalconAngel a lot lately!

Myself and my bf (31cho) have boundaries regarding who is doing what. But remember boundaries are different for everyone. Try to find something that fits you. Keep in mind personal potential jealousies as well ( realistically, no matter how much a person says that they arent, people are usually jealous by nature... see the South Park episode when Baybay got her first boobs and how all the boys reacted... HILARIOUS!!!)

[darkeyes]

I've been finding myself agreeing with FalconAngel a lot lately!



U think thats bad V.. tryin me agreein a lot wiv Allbi...THAT me finds scary...:tong:

[Bi Boi Indiana]

Hey Man,


it Sounds Like with your Realationship with your wife, your both very open and honest with each other! Just ask her to Keep talking to you and to tell you how much she loves you, So on and so forth ... it will help your feelings of Losing her Lessen in Time ...... it's Not something that's gonna happen over night tho ...

I Really couldnt see her leaving you after 7 years of Marriage, especially if your marriage is strong! .... And with it being Her First bi Experience with another woman, She may end up NOT Liking it .. Who know's! ...

Just give "YOURSELF" Time to overcome those fears, Talk with her, and Let her help you ..... You will grow closer together as a Couple Im sure

~BILL~ :flag2:

[Reeluv05]

Most Americans are so damn puritanical when it comes to sexual matters. They don't seem to understand that sex is just sex....and that when we enter relationships we then set the "boundaries of that relationship" and enter into agreements with our partner...and ALL are expected to respect those boundaries.

I definitely agree with FalcomAngel's statement below. I was into threesomes and foursomes with my former 'gay partner'... and they were a blast....but ALL parties had to be mature about the situation...and we had rules...about what went and what didn't...and EVERYONE had to agree before any clothes came off!

It sounds like you may be a little insecure about your relationship at this time...so it may not be a good idea to explore adding additional partners to the relationship or having adventures with other people at this time...you BOTH have to be secure in the relationship...and with each other...

But understand this...people are going to be people...and no matter what...whether you explore together or not...if it's a solid relationship it will last...if not it won't. It is fun to go exploring together, if possible...but sometimes that's not always possible. Good luck in finding resolution....:three:


The solution is the same for a couple getting into swinging.

1. Sit down and talk about it and find the limits and boundaries that each of you can live with. Make compromises that both of you can live with.

2. Make sure that you do not exceed the boundaries and limitations that you have set together.

3. Make sure that you tell and show each other how you feel about everything with it.

4. When you set those limits and expectations, you must both remember and understand that it is just sex. It is not romance, nor should it be anything more than just a good time for all concerned.

5. Make sure that whoever you decide to play with knows your boundaries, your rules and understands and respects them.

6. Any time that the two of you have any concerns regarding sex, sexuality or play, then talk about it openly and with respect and love for each other.