PTSD?!?

[still_shy]

I'm curious if anyone here knows anything about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was diagnosed this week with it, to my surprise...I didn't really expect that! I've looked it up online in a few different places and read all the treatments, symptoms etc...but I'm would like to know if anyone has any experience with this.

[CalanderGirl]

Yep; I was dx with it about 7 years ago... ask away!! :)

[rissababynta]

I've been diagnosed with it as well and am a psychology major with an emphasis in behavioral analysis, so I think I know a little bit about it as well.

[gfofbiguy]

I was diagnosed with it about 3 years ago myself...go ahead and ask away!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

After working in the Veterans Administration for 15 years, and being married to a Vietman Vet for 30 who has PTSD to a degree of 7, I guess you could say I know a little bit about it, yes. :}
PTSD is Not just a Veteran's Malady, it can and does happen to Anybody. It is caused by traumatic events in ones life, and lingers on in ones sub-conscious. It can be caused (for ordinary folks) by a car accident, child abuse, spousal abuse, a rape, a train wreak, seeing something frightening happening right in front of you, or Anything that might damage one's Psyche. It can happen from a variety of different things, Hon, and you may not even know that you have it.

Originally it was diognoised in Veterans returning from war. It consisted of: Flash backs, in which a person would Re-live traumatic events, either during sleep time, or even waking hours. Aggitation, sensitivity to loud noise, often times certain sights, sounds and smells will trigger flash backs and responces. Night terrors in which dreams can be horrible and cause a person to wake up frequently, often times with no recollection of said dreams.

Anger issues and rages for no apparent reason are highly common. Periods when a person just wants to "Hermit out" for a while is common too.
Restlessness and nervousness and the person has no idea Why. Short temper, panic attacks. Feelings of being watched, Hyper alertism, and in some cases, paranoia. Fear of going out amongst people and crowds. Clostrophobia in "tight" places like elevators or movie theaters, buses, trains or cars, even. Distrust is also a Very common effect of PTSD.

So you see Dear One, I know about PTSD. Not from just working with my Veterans for so many years, and living with a husband that had it, for nearly 30 years...but because "I" have it too. I was raped at 12 years old, and I too still go thru some of this, but I've learned to deal with it and not let it bother me or rule my life.

You can too. Get a good counsilor, or join a Peer Counciling group or simply Talk with people. Dont keep things bottled up inside.

Remember what I was told once: "Remember, Demons hold no power if dragged out into the light. And fear is a state of mind that We rule. Control it, Own it.."
It helps, believe me. :wiggle2:
Got an ear right here if you need one. ;)
Everybodys Cat

[SJ37AndSteph]

i have been dealing with PTSD since i was 14 so i know some about ask away no problem with answering question

[still_shy]

Wow, I really didn't expect to get much of a response from this. I guess I was pretty ignorant on the subject, honestly. I've had problems with panic attacks and depression for years but was a little doubtful about this diagnosis. Forgot to mention that I do take medication for the anxiety and depression. I wondered if the numbness I feel might be from the PTSD and not the meds, like I've thought in the past? I'm trying to be brutally honest with myself here. I realize that to a lot of people, these things seem like a normal part of life, but for me, I just can't break out of it. Some of the problems I have but don't know what to do about are :
I cannot feel anger. Just can't do it. Even during those times when I just flat out know I should be pissed, I don't have any emotion whatsoever. I've worked on this one for years and have no clue how to fix it. I can pretend to be mad pretty good though!
I have zero desire to talk about the past. I've been through counseling and it didn't help. I truly don't understand why talking about this stuff is going to help me. I'm sure that's part of the problem. My sister committed suicide, my best friend was murdered, I lived with an abusive boyfriend for years, why is talking about this going to help me?
I have no friends. Don't really want them. I would much rather be alone doing my own thing. Honestly, I don't think I've ever had friends. Acquaintences, sure...but a friend I trust to talk to, not in years. With the exception of my husband. And when I do make a friend, I end up ignoring them until they go away. I recognize this, but still can't stop myself from doing it. I tried for a long time to push my husband away but thank god, he was persistant enough to stay with me.
I'm happy staying at home all the time, alone. I don't work right now and really have no desire to do so. I'm sort of forcing myself to go back to school but the thought terrifies me to no end. Somehow in the midst of all of this, I managed to get married, divorced and married again. Have no idea how since I don't like people that much. I'm so set in my ways and content here. But......... deep down, I know that there is a whole lot more to life than this tiny world I have created for myself. I just can't push past it.

any suggestions?

[bisexualman]

I also have been diagnosed with PTSD though I am not an expert.

The big thing to remember that being diagnosed with PTSD and being ready to work on the symptoms and effects on your life are two entirely different things. Some people work through it quickly and some take a long time.
Also keep in mind that any diagnosis is merely a starting point. Don't get hung up on the diagnosis, get hung up on becoming better. It sounds like major areas of your life are effected: no desire to work, anxious about school, hard time with relationships. Do you want those areas to change? If so you need to figure out how you want to work on those issues.
There are a myriad of theories, professionals, and approaches. Talk to your therapist about different treatment modalities.

Most of all be patient with yourself. Good luck. (feel free to ask questions)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You are taking a step in the right direction, Sweetie. :}

If you are willing to open up your feelings and tell Us about them, then you have just taken a Major step in recovering You. I see alot of depression, hurt, anger, and frustration and "Walling In". Its called "Pyschic Numbing" getting to the point where you Feel or care about, absolutely Nothing, and this is but one of the many symptoms of PTSD. The premise is: "If I dont let anyone/anything In, then I cant get hurt again"

Like I said, Babygirl. Drag those Demons out into the light and be Done with them. If you keep all of the crap that happened to you locked up deep inside, all its going to do is sit there and fester, thus creating more and more problems. Take it from one who knows, first hand. ;)
We're here for you when you need us, Honey. That's what "Family" is for..:grouphug::grouphug:

Somebody give me a BIG Hell Yes!!!
Your Cat

[still_shy]

Thanks guys! I need all the help I can get these days. I'm trying pretty hard to break out of the shell but who knew it would be so tough? Seems like most of this stuff becomes habit and once it does, look out! I appreciate all the advice. I've always thought of myself as a reasonably intelligent person, can't rationalize myself out of this one though.
This may seem like a really dumb question, please don't laugh....Why does talking about the past help? I seriously don't get it. If the past was awful, why do you need to bring it back into the forefront in order to get better? I've never understood the need to talk about things and pick them apart. I mean, I know it all happened, I was there...is remembering it really going to help? If it honestly will, then by all means I'll try it, but I'd rather just leave it where it belongs, in the past.

[CuriousJon]

Hi, :) PTSD is something real. Most people are not aware that they have it. PTSD is normal and occures in people that are in law Enforcement, Medical, Paramedic, Fire Service and even civilian.

If you don't maind me asking what is the PTSD from? Is it from some event that you were involved in? If so have you reached out to others that have experianced the same type of event / same type of work?

Most important thing to remember is that what you are going thru is NORMAL.
Take care.

[still_shy]

I was diagnosed by a doctor during a test to determine my mental stability/ difficulties for school. I won't know more until I go to my regular doc and see what he says. It was a pretty thorough exam, around 5 hours but I don't know where he got the PTSD from. As I said earlier, my sister committed suicide when I was 13 and my best friend was brutally murdered when I was 15. Judging from the definition of this disorder though, I think it came from living with an abusive man for a few years. We started dating when we were 15, stayed together for 5 years. It was pure hell, some of the things he did to me, makes me shudder just to think about it now. I had a miscarriage when I was 18, he kicked me in the stomach so many times I lost the baby. I am deaf in one ear because he shot at me, have chronic jaw problems because he punched me so many times. Please, whatever you do, don't ask me why I stayed with him so long. That's a question that really haunts me, but the honest answer is I was scared to death. I tried to leave him a couple of times after high school, I just couldn't stick to it. We lived in a tiny town and there really wasn't any way to get away from him. He always talked me into coming back, or scared me enough to where I reallly didn't think I had a choice. All of his friends knew what he was doing, but no one would stand up to him and do anything about him, especially not me. I was a complete idiot for letting him rule me. UGH I hate talking about this, still don't know why it helps, even my husband only know the basic details.,. this is the first time I've ever went into detail about the things that happened, even now my hands are shaking so bad it's hard to type.

[bisocialnudist]

Still Shy If what you described wouldnt give anyone PTSD nothing will. I really do think writing and talking about events and our reaction to them can be very helpful. Im not sure why but the inner peace I get from talking about my deepest dark secrets with someone else makes me feel much better about myself. I have found that I can talk about just anything with a fellow bisexual. It seems that if we can be comfortable about talking about having sex with both men and women we can be comfortable talking about anything. We just seem to be a very understanding group.

Wishing you well,
Mark

[darkeyes]

Shy hun.. talkin bout the past, wen the past has been not nice for many of us is reely hard.. wos for me till 1 nite me jus broke down 2 me best m8 an everythin jus gushed out me sobbed an wept buckets an talked an talked an talked bout the thing wich me had jus bottled up for months an wos poisonin me whole outlook on life an humanity... me m8 lissened an comforted an comforted an lissened an didn say that much 'ersel.. wos jus the fact that suddenly that wich wos inside me jus wosn ne more an it wos then me began 2 heal inside.. an slowly get bak 2 the happy go lukky person me had always been... its a case a exorcisin ghosts Shy hun.. we all hav 'em.. an if we bottle 'em up we can do ourselves an othas gr8 harm...we can in bottlin up our ghosts becum not nice.. not cos we r not nice, but cos that poison in our system an the stresses it creates makes us act not nice 2 all around.. wiv awful results..

Kate, among othas, thinks me talks 2 freely an easily bout me life an me fun an me past..gud an bad..spose it mus get on peeps nips wen me rants bout 'er an our life, the happnins.. gud an bad.. or simply my life.. gud an bad.. its not that me wonts 2 rabbit on an bore peeps 2 death..tho prob do..moren 1 hav told me.. its jus that me membas wot it wos like keepin summat so closed up inside me an how mizzy me life wos..wen it wos finally uncorked the relief wos unimaginable an that healin process finally cud begin its work..neva wonna go through that gain... it worked for me an me life got bak on track.. it took sum time but it worked..but we r all diff an it don work for every 1 me sposes... but mos of us.. am not big inta counsellin an therapy.. hav had sum cos me suffers depression from time 2 time but hav found that talkin 2 those closest 2 me is betta therapy an counsellin than ne so called expert can give me..

Me is parta a gaggle a screwy girls who r always ther for each otha..we r each othas rock.. our comfort zone.. our therapists an counsellors... we each hav our own lives yet if 1 is in trubble every 1 is rite ther...sum of us find it more diff 2 talk than othas but sumhow we work it out.. thing is Shy hun..me thinks ya hav wanna b helped fore ya can b an ya havta believe that unloadin 2 sum 1 will help.

Talkin helps keep me on an even keel..it relieves the strain an keeps me pretty much ok.. even wenya has triff m8s wich me has in abundance wich makes me incredibly lukky, ther r times they r not bout 2 help out.. like 2 in mornin an they akip.. they mite luff me but don get 2 many thanks for wakin em up from ther beauty sleep on a work day... thats wer me found this place so gud 1ce me got 2 kno peeps.. 1 in partic helped me through a rite bad patch.. an 'er me can neva say ta 2 enuff.. tween 'er an me best m8..wos them that kept me sane.. well sane as me eva can b...

Not daft enuff 2 say it will work for every 1.. sum peeps r jus incapable a openin up.. an sum jus don think it will do ne gud..bit like u r questionin now... but ifya wanna keep yasel str8..(not str8..thatd b borin..tee hee.. ya kno wot me means) ifya wannit bad enuff an ya open up ya heart an mind 2 peeps it can work... an dus for most of us...

Wishya well wiv it Shy hun... its not infallable... but wud recommend ya dus open ya heart 2 sum 1 an try it out for size...

[still_shy]

I think I'm just afraid that once I let it all out, I'll break apart into a million pieces and never get myself back. I'm wondering a bit if I sound crazy as a loon :P I started a journal this week, thought maybe writing stuff down would help me. I really really want to get better and if talking about it will help, then I'll do it. Opening up here has made me feel a little better. It's the most I've talked about myself in years.

[darkeyes]

o yea..an wile me membas.. muaaaaaaaaaahhh!! ther that kissie ya sed me cud giveya.. tee hee:bigrin:

[still_shy]

LOL anytime hunny!

[darkeyes]

I think I'm just afraid that once I let it all out, I'll break apart into a million pieces and never get myself back. I'm wondering a bit if I sound crazy as a loon :P I started a journal this week, thought maybe writing stuff down would help me. I really really want to get better and if talking about it will help, then I'll do it. Opening up here has made me feel a little better. It's the most I've talked about myself in years.

Me grandad bot me a journal wen me wos wee.. have ritten in a journal almos every day eva since..sum peeps wud strangle me if they saw wot wos in it.. but mosly its fulla me fears hope an desires an yea..it dus help an all...

[darkeyes]

LOL anytime hunny!

ne time?? oo ya lil flirtie tart!!! Muuuuuuuuuahhhh!!!;)

[still_shy]

hehe mmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh right back at ya!!!!!

[darkeyes]

hehe mmmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh right back at ya!!!!!

*swoons*

PTSD..Post Tartie Shy Disorder

*giggles*:tong:

[gurlydon]

If you are serious about doing something about PTSD find a psychotherapist experienced in Ericksonian Psychotherapy. Don't waste your time with psychologists, who usually are poor therapists, especially the
cognitive behaviorists. You can probably find an Erickson Institute in the yellow pages. If not, get back to me and I'll give a more specific recommendation.

Dr. Don

[still_shy]

Thank you, I'll see what I can find and let you know if I need some help :) I appreciate the advice!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

**UGH I hate talking about this, still don't know why it helps, even my husband only know the basic details.,. this is the first time I've ever went into detail about the things that happened, even now my hands are shaking so bad it's hard to type.**

Shy-honey, I thought the same thing after I recovered from the rape incident. It took me three months in the hospital, and the scars I carry on my body are forever.

I sat with the Shrinks and Phycologists with folded arms and flatly told them "What's the good of talking about this horseshit?? It happened. I'll never be the same, no decent man will ever want me because of 480 stitches on my body, and I'm told I'll never have children. You think I wanna sit around and Talk about this!!???"

Was I bitter? Oh Yeah. Majorly. But little by little I began to talk to the other girls that were also in my counsiling sessions, and I talked about how I felt at being raped at 12 yrs old, and what effect it was going to have on me in the future. I'm glad now that I did, for it got out alot of hurt and fear, anger and hate. I didnt let it sit inside and fester. I developed an attitude of "Hey, it happened, but No One will ever do that to me again, or have the ability to make me feel that kind of fear Ever again because "I" have the power to control the memories. "I" could choose to let what happened control me and hold me back, or I have the option to evolve and move forward in my life and change it for the better.

And that is when a very good caring little old man taught all of us that WE alone could either live life as a victim or as someone that a bad person could percieve as a fighter. :} He said "Its your choice. When you walk down the road you will either be seen as an easy target, or as someone they wont fuck with because you look like you'll kick somebody's ass" lol
Guess which way I chose, and Choose to be seen? ;)
Let it out Girlfriend. Let it go and be done with it. Its had its grip on you for long enough now. Time for you to do as my counsilor told me. "Time to step out of your self imposed cell, and step out to be free"

You are doing well Babygirl. Keep up the good work. Keep talking and evolve. :}
Your Cat.

P.S. The doctors were wrong. I Do have three healthy children, and the scars on my body do not matter to those of my lovers who know me, love me and accept me for who I am. What happened, did. But it made me strong, it made me hard and determined, and the memories dont haunt me, havent for many years now.
Here if you need me. :}

[still_shy]

I sat with the Shrinks and Phycologists with folded arms and flatly told them "What's the good of talking about this horseshit?? It happened. I'll never be the same, no decent man will ever want me because of 480 stitches on my body, and I'm told I'll never have children. You think I wanna sit around and Talk about this!!???"

I'm figuring out that obviously it does do some good to talk about it. All of the people who tell me it does, can't be completely wrong. I'll give it a shot and let you know.

[still_shy]

And we are all extremely fortunate that you made it through such an awful experience and came here, Cat. Those of us who call you a friend are very lucky indeed :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

:grouphug: Blushes Deeply. Thank you Sweetie, but thats what friends do for one another; help out and watch each other's backs. :}
Yer Cat

[still_shy]

Does anyone know anything about the medication Symbiax? It's the new med that my doc put me on. As always, I'm leery of a different medication, have looked it up on the internet and would like to hear personal experiences, if anyone has any?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Is it an anti-Depressant or mood stabalizer? Avoid Helix and Haldol at all costs if he prescribes it to you..
Hugs
Cat

[still_shy]

It's both actually, a combination of Celexa and Prozac...always swore I'd never take Prozac so it kinda freaks me out. I'm kinda having a tough time getting off the medicine I was taking, it's really thrown me for a loop.

[webebi]

Hi Stillshy,
I have PTSD and I have to agree with what Dr. Don on his suggestions to you.
I have it from being in combat as a result from the Vietnam War. It hit me late in my years and my private Dr.s had no clue what was wrong with me. I went in circles fior years and they gave me every med known to man. Finley I went to the VA hospital and they knew exactly what was wrong and what to do. I am a lot better now and enjoying life more then before. Find someone who specializes in PTSD because there is all types and levels and various triggers associated with it. Sorry for all the wives who had to suffer and stayed with there spouses or had to leave them because of how intense it can get. Good luck and stay cool, there is help.
Hugs,
Mike

[still_shy]

Right now I'm trying to find a doc that specializes in Ptsd, one my insurance will cover...can't afford to pay too much out of pocket unfortunately.

My family doc is the one who put me on the new med and let me tell you, the withdrawal from the old one is a bitch.:eek: I started going off of it on Friday, tapering down my dose, but today I just feel awful. Hopefully it will get better soon. Thank you for the support and advice. :)

[darkeyes]

Right now I'm trying to find a doc that specializes in Ptsd, one my insurance will cover...can't afford to pay too much out of pocket unfortunately.

My family doc is the one who put me on the new med and let me tell you, the withdrawal from the old one is a bitch.:eek: I started going off of it on Friday, tapering down my dose, but today I just feel awful. Hopefully it will get better soon. Thank you for the support and advice. :)
Shud move ere or wer they hav a health service werya don havta pay Shy me luff... NHS has its probs but has sure dun its job wiv me an those me luffs ova the years..an most ne of us had eva 2 pay wer prescription charges.. ( wich me mite add at 6 quid odd a shot r a rite rip off... but thats anotha story..)

[still_shy]

We should be so lucky to have a NH, for years I have wished our country would get off its ass and do it! I know it has its disadvantages but for someone who spends over 200 bucks a weeks on medicine when I don't have insurance and 200 a month when I do, it sounds awfully appealing.