still_shy
Oct 24, 2008, 7:20 AM
When I saw the threads for the EX files, I had to put my own two cents in. This story is just too cool not to share! Little bit of background....
I used to be a heavy, blackout drunk. From the age of 11 all the way until I was 21, I used every drug imaginable, and drank huge quantities of hard liquor daily. I dropped out of college because the classes cut into my partying time, lost job after job from being drunk, and generally alienated my friends and family. (Trust me, this isn't the sob story you think it is!) So, needless to say, when I met my ex husband at 20, I was ready to settle down. I had narrowly escaped an abusive relationship that I had been in since 15 and was looking for security, stability and someone who would love me. Within three months of meeting him, I was pregnant. Yikes! I was a drunk, what was I going to do with a kid? Immediately I quit cold turkey, and we were married. My wonderful soon to be husband at the time actually forgot to propose, he just handed me a 70 dollar Wal-Mart ring that his grandma picked up earlier in the day and said, "So how about tomorrow" I remember thinking on the way home from the courthouse, seriously a wedding, I was pregnant LOL--"this is the biggest mistake I have ever made" But long story short, I stuck it out for 5 loooooooooooooong years. Stuck it out through all the stereotypical bad marriage plots, so my daughter could have her daddy at home. When I finally decided to leave, it was horrible. He hid video cameras in our house so he could catch me and my mom talking about him, cleaned out our bank accounts, left me without a penny and stole everything we owned, including the truck my dad left me. If you're wondering why I let all this happen, I was in the hospital at the time, where he very kindly cancelled my insurance the second day of a monthlong stay!
So, flash forward a few years. He and I are civil for the sake of our daughter, like so many other couples. I don't bad mouth him EVER and try to give him the respect he deserves in front of our daughter. I have remarried a wonderful man who has shown me what a true marriage really is. The point of this whole ramble is coming, I swear. But MR. EX has dropped out of my daughters life over the last couple of years. He has literally broken my daughters heart time and time again. So the other night when he finally calls after a 6 month silence, I handed the phone to her with trepidation, thinking here we go again, promises to visit and all that jazz. And my wonderful, beautiful amazing 7 year old holds the phone and says "Sorry can't talk, I'm really busy!" Don't know what he said but she responded " NO DAD I have a lot of stuff to do" after which she handed me the phone and went back to watching her movie! When I hang up, I walk into the living room and she says very seriously," He doesn't care about me, why should I care about him?" The lessons I have spent her whole life teaching her, all of those lessons I wish someone had taken the time to teach me, all of them came crashing into that one shining moment.....It's been most important to me to teach her that NO ONE should ever treat her with disrespect, not family, friends or anyone....and she actually listened!!! I've never been so proud in my entire life. Just had to share that!
I used to be a heavy, blackout drunk. From the age of 11 all the way until I was 21, I used every drug imaginable, and drank huge quantities of hard liquor daily. I dropped out of college because the classes cut into my partying time, lost job after job from being drunk, and generally alienated my friends and family. (Trust me, this isn't the sob story you think it is!) So, needless to say, when I met my ex husband at 20, I was ready to settle down. I had narrowly escaped an abusive relationship that I had been in since 15 and was looking for security, stability and someone who would love me. Within three months of meeting him, I was pregnant. Yikes! I was a drunk, what was I going to do with a kid? Immediately I quit cold turkey, and we were married. My wonderful soon to be husband at the time actually forgot to propose, he just handed me a 70 dollar Wal-Mart ring that his grandma picked up earlier in the day and said, "So how about tomorrow" I remember thinking on the way home from the courthouse, seriously a wedding, I was pregnant LOL--"this is the biggest mistake I have ever made" But long story short, I stuck it out for 5 loooooooooooooong years. Stuck it out through all the stereotypical bad marriage plots, so my daughter could have her daddy at home. When I finally decided to leave, it was horrible. He hid video cameras in our house so he could catch me and my mom talking about him, cleaned out our bank accounts, left me without a penny and stole everything we owned, including the truck my dad left me. If you're wondering why I let all this happen, I was in the hospital at the time, where he very kindly cancelled my insurance the second day of a monthlong stay!
So, flash forward a few years. He and I are civil for the sake of our daughter, like so many other couples. I don't bad mouth him EVER and try to give him the respect he deserves in front of our daughter. I have remarried a wonderful man who has shown me what a true marriage really is. The point of this whole ramble is coming, I swear. But MR. EX has dropped out of my daughters life over the last couple of years. He has literally broken my daughters heart time and time again. So the other night when he finally calls after a 6 month silence, I handed the phone to her with trepidation, thinking here we go again, promises to visit and all that jazz. And my wonderful, beautiful amazing 7 year old holds the phone and says "Sorry can't talk, I'm really busy!" Don't know what he said but she responded " NO DAD I have a lot of stuff to do" after which she handed me the phone and went back to watching her movie! When I hang up, I walk into the living room and she says very seriously," He doesn't care about me, why should I care about him?" The lessons I have spent her whole life teaching her, all of those lessons I wish someone had taken the time to teach me, all of them came crashing into that one shining moment.....It's been most important to me to teach her that NO ONE should ever treat her with disrespect, not family, friends or anyone....and she actually listened!!! I've never been so proud in my entire life. Just had to share that!