smokey
Jan 2, 2006, 3:08 PM
This is an essay I wrote awhile back...its a bit long but I hope it will be interesting. Of course these are my views on the matter but feedback would be wonderful (as long as you're nice about it). Thanks, Smokey
Being Bisexual
I am lying nude on a bed piled high with pillows. a beautiful naked young woman enters the room and crawls into bed with me. We kiss, caressing and fondling each other’s bodies and
genitals until we are both aroused and excited. I kiss, lick and nibble my way down her body,
lingering on her breasts, kneading and sucking them until her nipples are flushed and firm. I tongue her navel as I work my way down until I am between her legs and her moist pink pussy is spread before me in all its glory. I slowly lick it and rub my tongue against her clitoris then slide it into her vagina lapping up her wetness until she is moaning happily. I enjoy her pleasure at my skills, savoring her excitement. I work my way down between her buns to her asshole. I slowly circle it with my tongue, and then wiggle it in as deeply as I can, tasting her musky, sour tang until she is squirming with delight. I am as excited as she is now and roll over so she can pleasure me as well. I enjoy the sight and feel of her sucking my penis. Eventually we get into 69, and play each other with our hands, fingers, mouths and tongues until we are both flushed with
excitement and ready for sex. She gets onto her knees and bends over offering me her sex. I lick it hungrily once more, then slowly mount and ride her to our mutual orgasms. I pull out and lick her clean as my come oozes from of her glistening pussy, giving her yet another orgasm
before we cuddle each other to sleep. The image fades only to be replaced by the same daydream except that it is a handsome, naked, well-hung man who enters the room and crawls into bed with me. We kiss, caressing and fondling each other’s bodies and genitals until we are both aroused and excited. I kiss, lick and nibble my way down his body until I am between his legs and his long, hard penis throbs before me. I lick its tip and then slowly suck it into my mouth swallowing as much of its length as possible, stroking it vigorously with my hand until he is moaning happily. I enjoy his pleasure at my skills, savoring his excitement. I watch as a glistening drop of pre-come oozes out of the tip of his penis and then I lap it up. I lick my way down his shaft stopping only to gently suck his balls, and then continue on to his asshole. I slowly circle it with my tongue, and then wiggle it in as deeply as I can, tasting his musky sour, tang until he is squirming with delight. I am as excited as he is now and roll over so he can pleasure me as well. I enjoy the sight and feel of him sucking on my penis. Eventually we get into 69, and play each other with our hands, fingers, mouths and tongues until we are both flushed with excitement and ready for sex. I get onto my knees and bend over offering him my ass. I feel him lubricate it with oil, and then he mounts me, slowly pressing his penis against my asshole. I gasp as he slides inside, filling me up. He rides me vigorously and I take it as we lose ourselves in the moment
until we both come, exhausted and sated. He withdraws and I feel his sperm trickle out me. I purr happily, feeling quite pleased with myself. I pull him to me. The daydream can be played in other ways as well. The man could be first fading to the woman or I could take the dominant roll of mounting him instead. Or, I could have them both at the same time, enjoying the pleasure of us piled together in a heap of squirming and sweaty, naked bodies.
Passive and dominant, male or female, are just a few of the complexities to being bisexual. Each set of possibilities dance across my mind as I visualize sex. The fact that I actually enjoy sex with both men and women often baffles or offends both straights and gays. But, self avowed
bisexuals; simply nod their heads with understanding. We know that beyond the two physical sexes, is a gender of imagination and spirit with pure lust at its heart.
We all have sexual preferences; usually straight or gay. Bisexuals though, inhabit a murky
in-between world where those preferences are open to negotiation and desire. However, we have our own sexual preferences as well. We are either generally straight, having only occasional
encounters with our own sex, or we are generally gay, having only occasional encounters with the opposite sex. Our most defining feature however, is our bisexuality, not our overall preference. My personal preference is towards women and I find them absolutely intoxicating. But, when I want sex with a man, it becomes almost an obsession until I am satisfied. Yet men rarely turn my head like women do; it happens, but it is rare. What I like is the sex. I find the sight (and feel) of a large, hard penis exciting. That I enjoy both oral and anal sex attracts me to men and an
interested, well-hung man has my full attention.
There are more bisexuals in the world than there are gay’s, with “gay” being a self-identifying moniker, not just a matter of sexual practice. If you take the famous Kinsey scale of 0 to 6 scale as a guide with 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 as exclusively homosexual,
everything in-between are various degrees of bisexuality.
Many gay’s are just as opposed to the notion of bisexuality as straights are to homosexuality. They insist that you must be one or the other, and that anybody who claims otherwise is simply in denial. Most bisexuals though, hate the straight/gay dichotomy, preferring to consider
themselves beyond category. I can be decidedly “masculine” or “feminine” in my sexual
expression depending on mood or desire and the notion of being limited to one sex is simply unthinkable. When I fill out a form that asks me my gender, I always feel a twinge of
disappointment at the listing of only two. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were more than two sexes to love and play with?
I used to feel guilty about my bisexuality. But, eventually I came to understand that the guilt was simply one more aspect of the dualism that permeates our society. I didn’t have to buy into it if I didn’t want to. In fact, rejecting dualism is one of the healthiest things a soul can do for itself. My sexuality is fluid, and to deny that would in effect be denying myself. I have come to enjoy that fluidity. It is not only a part of my life but an adventure, without which, living would be far more dull, boring, and incomplete.
The general idea that bisexuals will fuck anything that moves, is simply not true. We have our personality and physical preferences just like everybody else; we just have a wider range of options to choose from. The same is true of our sexual repertoire. Being bisexual gives me a larger sexual palette to work with which is why I insist that we make the best lovers. And, it is not just a matter of skills either. We know what it is like to be passive and aggressive, dominant and passive, strong and venerable. We are in touch with a fuller range of sexual expression than are most people.
One of the pleasures of being bisexual, (for me) is being in touch with my feminine,
sensuous side. Unlike men more firmly attached to notions of masculinity, I am not threatened by it . I enjoy cuddling and comfort. I enjoy fine fabrics against the skin, scented oils and bubble baths. I love beds piled high with pillows and snuggling deep into them, feeling toasty warm. And, know the pleasure of satisfying a lover without machismo getting in the way. I can be
venerable and wanting as well as strong and assertive. Being taken can be incredible. I can allow
myself to be seduced as well as seduce. In short I can be more fully human.
The biggest drawback to being bisexual are the assumptions that both straights and gays have about us. Our existence calls into question notions of gender, sexuality, and the very frameworks of identity and a lot of people find that threatening. It is not unlike the problems people of mixed racial and ethnic backgrounds often face. My late wife was Chinese and black and was never fully accepted in either community. Bisexuals face the same sort of problem, which is why so many of us are closeted. Personally I hate the whole closet thing. I let who I want, know that I am bisexual. For the most part its nobodies damned business, except my
lovers. Every person I’ve had a relationship with, knew that I was bisexual because I made a point of telling them. But, I also made sure that they knew while I was with them, I wasn’t screwing around. Much of the bad press that bisexuals get comes from those of us who are ashamed of themselves and in denial, refusing come to terms with their sexuality but still having to follow its muse.
The problem is again rooted in duality. We grow up being told a person is either straight or gay, and if you’re bisexual, the pressure to commit to one or the other can be overwhelming. Trying to live and love either way exclusively, as a bisexual, creates a lie that is ultimately
oppressive. And, the greater the commitment you have to that lie, the more difficult life
becomes until sooner or later something has to give, and it is always the lie. As a result people are hurt. Of course these arguments are applied being gay as well and that is the point. The only
difference is that it isn’t just straights imposing this upon us, but many gays as well.
Bisexuals are not necessarily promiscuous, fucking anything that moves and cheating on their partners at the drop of a hat. When I am in a relationship, I am faithful to that person,
period. But if I am single and unattached, I play the field as I see fit. But, once I do meet
somebody that I want to spend more than an encounter with, then that is that. What is not
understood not only by straights and gays but by a lot of bisexuals themselves, is that
bisexuality itself is as separate a reality as being straight or gay is. It is not a matter of choice or indecisiveness. For whatever reason, biological, psychological or spiritual, our sexuality is open ended and that we have no more chosen this than a straight or gay person does.
I don’t know why there are bisexuals. I can only speak for myself and even then can’t
explain it. When I was a teenager growing up in the south, if you weren’t a jock you were under suspicion at best, and I am not a jock. I spent my teens being regularly beaten up by the school bullies, because word had it that I was “queer”. I didn’t even know what the word meant in those days. So, when I got out on my own, I had to find out one way or the other, if only for my own peace of mind. So, one night I let a man to pick me up and I thoroughly enjoyed myself and wanted more. But, I also knew by then that I was really into women as well. As a result, I was totally confused until someone explained bisexuality to me, and it made so much sense. I felt a great sense of relief; at last I knew what I was. I was very flamboyant in my youth, cultivating an androgynous look and spent most of my twenties bouncing from one sex to the other. In fact I went a whole month once with a different sexual partner each night. I wasn’t hurting anybody and I saw nothing wrong with it, so played the field as I saw fit. And, it wasn’t my first gay
encounter that “made” me bisexual either. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve tried sex with their own gender (or the opposite) and have felt so profoundly uncomfortable that they knew in no uncertain terms what they were. Whereas, I thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted to do it again; yet I wanted to continue having sex with women as well.
I’ve only had a handful of long-term relationships, measured in years (both with women) but I have easily had a several hundred sexual partners. I will also be the first one to admit I have been extremely lucky; I have never caught any sexually transmitted diseases and remain HIV negative.
It may sound funny all things considered; but I’m generally rather shy (at least until the ice is broken) and have found that it is often easier getting sex than making friends. It is harder
sometimes to open hearts than it is to open legs, which doesn’t say much for our society. The flip side of that is when I do bond with somebody, I do so deeply, and that most of my true
friendships are decades old. I usually end up on good terms with my former lovers. I know that life would be a lot easier if I could be either simply straight or gay, but I am not. My sexuality just doesn’t work that way. If I could be one or the other, I would probably be straight because my overall sexual preferences lean that way. Also I find the whole notion of being “gay” rather silly. I can no more define myself solely by my sexuality, than I can by the color of my eyes. I am bisexual but I am so much more than that as well. Race, actual gender and ethnicity are far more accurate ways of defining ones self than sexual preference. Sexuality changes, even if it only by fading with the years.
As far as I can tell there is only one true sexual perversion, and that is brutality. And, when you think about it, brutality covers all the bases, physical and emotional abuse, rape,
pedophilia, sadism (as opposed to sadomasochism which is mutual and little more than role playing) and other crimes including sex murders. What is important is that we love and true love has no room for violence and brutality. I learned long ago, what goes on in the recesses of the human heart is far more important than what goes on in bed. It is a great pity that it is a lesson rejected by many.
Being Bisexual
I am lying nude on a bed piled high with pillows. a beautiful naked young woman enters the room and crawls into bed with me. We kiss, caressing and fondling each other’s bodies and
genitals until we are both aroused and excited. I kiss, lick and nibble my way down her body,
lingering on her breasts, kneading and sucking them until her nipples are flushed and firm. I tongue her navel as I work my way down until I am between her legs and her moist pink pussy is spread before me in all its glory. I slowly lick it and rub my tongue against her clitoris then slide it into her vagina lapping up her wetness until she is moaning happily. I enjoy her pleasure at my skills, savoring her excitement. I work my way down between her buns to her asshole. I slowly circle it with my tongue, and then wiggle it in as deeply as I can, tasting her musky, sour tang until she is squirming with delight. I am as excited as she is now and roll over so she can pleasure me as well. I enjoy the sight and feel of her sucking my penis. Eventually we get into 69, and play each other with our hands, fingers, mouths and tongues until we are both flushed with
excitement and ready for sex. She gets onto her knees and bends over offering me her sex. I lick it hungrily once more, then slowly mount and ride her to our mutual orgasms. I pull out and lick her clean as my come oozes from of her glistening pussy, giving her yet another orgasm
before we cuddle each other to sleep. The image fades only to be replaced by the same daydream except that it is a handsome, naked, well-hung man who enters the room and crawls into bed with me. We kiss, caressing and fondling each other’s bodies and genitals until we are both aroused and excited. I kiss, lick and nibble my way down his body until I am between his legs and his long, hard penis throbs before me. I lick its tip and then slowly suck it into my mouth swallowing as much of its length as possible, stroking it vigorously with my hand until he is moaning happily. I enjoy his pleasure at my skills, savoring his excitement. I watch as a glistening drop of pre-come oozes out of the tip of his penis and then I lap it up. I lick my way down his shaft stopping only to gently suck his balls, and then continue on to his asshole. I slowly circle it with my tongue, and then wiggle it in as deeply as I can, tasting his musky sour, tang until he is squirming with delight. I am as excited as he is now and roll over so he can pleasure me as well. I enjoy the sight and feel of him sucking on my penis. Eventually we get into 69, and play each other with our hands, fingers, mouths and tongues until we are both flushed with excitement and ready for sex. I get onto my knees and bend over offering him my ass. I feel him lubricate it with oil, and then he mounts me, slowly pressing his penis against my asshole. I gasp as he slides inside, filling me up. He rides me vigorously and I take it as we lose ourselves in the moment
until we both come, exhausted and sated. He withdraws and I feel his sperm trickle out me. I purr happily, feeling quite pleased with myself. I pull him to me. The daydream can be played in other ways as well. The man could be first fading to the woman or I could take the dominant roll of mounting him instead. Or, I could have them both at the same time, enjoying the pleasure of us piled together in a heap of squirming and sweaty, naked bodies.
Passive and dominant, male or female, are just a few of the complexities to being bisexual. Each set of possibilities dance across my mind as I visualize sex. The fact that I actually enjoy sex with both men and women often baffles or offends both straights and gays. But, self avowed
bisexuals; simply nod their heads with understanding. We know that beyond the two physical sexes, is a gender of imagination and spirit with pure lust at its heart.
We all have sexual preferences; usually straight or gay. Bisexuals though, inhabit a murky
in-between world where those preferences are open to negotiation and desire. However, we have our own sexual preferences as well. We are either generally straight, having only occasional
encounters with our own sex, or we are generally gay, having only occasional encounters with the opposite sex. Our most defining feature however, is our bisexuality, not our overall preference. My personal preference is towards women and I find them absolutely intoxicating. But, when I want sex with a man, it becomes almost an obsession until I am satisfied. Yet men rarely turn my head like women do; it happens, but it is rare. What I like is the sex. I find the sight (and feel) of a large, hard penis exciting. That I enjoy both oral and anal sex attracts me to men and an
interested, well-hung man has my full attention.
There are more bisexuals in the world than there are gay’s, with “gay” being a self-identifying moniker, not just a matter of sexual practice. If you take the famous Kinsey scale of 0 to 6 scale as a guide with 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 as exclusively homosexual,
everything in-between are various degrees of bisexuality.
Many gay’s are just as opposed to the notion of bisexuality as straights are to homosexuality. They insist that you must be one or the other, and that anybody who claims otherwise is simply in denial. Most bisexuals though, hate the straight/gay dichotomy, preferring to consider
themselves beyond category. I can be decidedly “masculine” or “feminine” in my sexual
expression depending on mood or desire and the notion of being limited to one sex is simply unthinkable. When I fill out a form that asks me my gender, I always feel a twinge of
disappointment at the listing of only two. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were more than two sexes to love and play with?
I used to feel guilty about my bisexuality. But, eventually I came to understand that the guilt was simply one more aspect of the dualism that permeates our society. I didn’t have to buy into it if I didn’t want to. In fact, rejecting dualism is one of the healthiest things a soul can do for itself. My sexuality is fluid, and to deny that would in effect be denying myself. I have come to enjoy that fluidity. It is not only a part of my life but an adventure, without which, living would be far more dull, boring, and incomplete.
The general idea that bisexuals will fuck anything that moves, is simply not true. We have our personality and physical preferences just like everybody else; we just have a wider range of options to choose from. The same is true of our sexual repertoire. Being bisexual gives me a larger sexual palette to work with which is why I insist that we make the best lovers. And, it is not just a matter of skills either. We know what it is like to be passive and aggressive, dominant and passive, strong and venerable. We are in touch with a fuller range of sexual expression than are most people.
One of the pleasures of being bisexual, (for me) is being in touch with my feminine,
sensuous side. Unlike men more firmly attached to notions of masculinity, I am not threatened by it . I enjoy cuddling and comfort. I enjoy fine fabrics against the skin, scented oils and bubble baths. I love beds piled high with pillows and snuggling deep into them, feeling toasty warm. And, know the pleasure of satisfying a lover without machismo getting in the way. I can be
venerable and wanting as well as strong and assertive. Being taken can be incredible. I can allow
myself to be seduced as well as seduce. In short I can be more fully human.
The biggest drawback to being bisexual are the assumptions that both straights and gays have about us. Our existence calls into question notions of gender, sexuality, and the very frameworks of identity and a lot of people find that threatening. It is not unlike the problems people of mixed racial and ethnic backgrounds often face. My late wife was Chinese and black and was never fully accepted in either community. Bisexuals face the same sort of problem, which is why so many of us are closeted. Personally I hate the whole closet thing. I let who I want, know that I am bisexual. For the most part its nobodies damned business, except my
lovers. Every person I’ve had a relationship with, knew that I was bisexual because I made a point of telling them. But, I also made sure that they knew while I was with them, I wasn’t screwing around. Much of the bad press that bisexuals get comes from those of us who are ashamed of themselves and in denial, refusing come to terms with their sexuality but still having to follow its muse.
The problem is again rooted in duality. We grow up being told a person is either straight or gay, and if you’re bisexual, the pressure to commit to one or the other can be overwhelming. Trying to live and love either way exclusively, as a bisexual, creates a lie that is ultimately
oppressive. And, the greater the commitment you have to that lie, the more difficult life
becomes until sooner or later something has to give, and it is always the lie. As a result people are hurt. Of course these arguments are applied being gay as well and that is the point. The only
difference is that it isn’t just straights imposing this upon us, but many gays as well.
Bisexuals are not necessarily promiscuous, fucking anything that moves and cheating on their partners at the drop of a hat. When I am in a relationship, I am faithful to that person,
period. But if I am single and unattached, I play the field as I see fit. But, once I do meet
somebody that I want to spend more than an encounter with, then that is that. What is not
understood not only by straights and gays but by a lot of bisexuals themselves, is that
bisexuality itself is as separate a reality as being straight or gay is. It is not a matter of choice or indecisiveness. For whatever reason, biological, psychological or spiritual, our sexuality is open ended and that we have no more chosen this than a straight or gay person does.
I don’t know why there are bisexuals. I can only speak for myself and even then can’t
explain it. When I was a teenager growing up in the south, if you weren’t a jock you were under suspicion at best, and I am not a jock. I spent my teens being regularly beaten up by the school bullies, because word had it that I was “queer”. I didn’t even know what the word meant in those days. So, when I got out on my own, I had to find out one way or the other, if only for my own peace of mind. So, one night I let a man to pick me up and I thoroughly enjoyed myself and wanted more. But, I also knew by then that I was really into women as well. As a result, I was totally confused until someone explained bisexuality to me, and it made so much sense. I felt a great sense of relief; at last I knew what I was. I was very flamboyant in my youth, cultivating an androgynous look and spent most of my twenties bouncing from one sex to the other. In fact I went a whole month once with a different sexual partner each night. I wasn’t hurting anybody and I saw nothing wrong with it, so played the field as I saw fit. And, it wasn’t my first gay
encounter that “made” me bisexual either. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve tried sex with their own gender (or the opposite) and have felt so profoundly uncomfortable that they knew in no uncertain terms what they were. Whereas, I thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted to do it again; yet I wanted to continue having sex with women as well.
I’ve only had a handful of long-term relationships, measured in years (both with women) but I have easily had a several hundred sexual partners. I will also be the first one to admit I have been extremely lucky; I have never caught any sexually transmitted diseases and remain HIV negative.
It may sound funny all things considered; but I’m generally rather shy (at least until the ice is broken) and have found that it is often easier getting sex than making friends. It is harder
sometimes to open hearts than it is to open legs, which doesn’t say much for our society. The flip side of that is when I do bond with somebody, I do so deeply, and that most of my true
friendships are decades old. I usually end up on good terms with my former lovers. I know that life would be a lot easier if I could be either simply straight or gay, but I am not. My sexuality just doesn’t work that way. If I could be one or the other, I would probably be straight because my overall sexual preferences lean that way. Also I find the whole notion of being “gay” rather silly. I can no more define myself solely by my sexuality, than I can by the color of my eyes. I am bisexual but I am so much more than that as well. Race, actual gender and ethnicity are far more accurate ways of defining ones self than sexual preference. Sexuality changes, even if it only by fading with the years.
As far as I can tell there is only one true sexual perversion, and that is brutality. And, when you think about it, brutality covers all the bases, physical and emotional abuse, rape,
pedophilia, sadism (as opposed to sadomasochism which is mutual and little more than role playing) and other crimes including sex murders. What is important is that we love and true love has no room for violence and brutality. I learned long ago, what goes on in the recesses of the human heart is far more important than what goes on in bed. It is a great pity that it is a lesson rejected by many.