Bi because of necessity

[bamberggm]

Resently i have ran into this rash of "bi" males who are only bi because their wives no long put out and guys are well... easier. As soon as they find out i have a uber supportive girl the conversations turn quckly from me to her. I was wondering if any other guys have been having the same problem. I just think these guys are sorta pathetic. What do you think? Am i off base? Flaming is of course authorized. I love free speech.

[allbimyself]

Sounds about the way it usually goes. Just mark them off the list and move on.

[darkeyes]

The lil wifie's seem a nice buncha gals 2 me....lotsa common sense:bigrin:

Soz..cudn resist.. tee hee

[Bi-Zarro]

Sigh. Why are so many men so utterly pathetic.

[eddy10]

I also think many men try m-m sex out of "necessity." In the process of doing that many suddenly discover that they are bisexual or even 100% gay. Just think of all the years they may have thought they were str8.

[bamberggm]

i agree. Some guys do find out late in life. But it is usually triggered by a absence in affection of there wife and the inability to find a female mate.

[FalconAngel]

Resently i have ran into this rash of "bi" males who are only bi because their wives no long put out and guys are well... easier. As soon as they find out i have a ubber supportive girl the conversations turn quckly from me to her. I was wondering if any other guys have been having the same problem. I just think these guys are sorta pathetic. What do you think? Am i off base? Flaming is of course authorized. I love free speech.

You are not off base.

There are a lot of guys trying to use Bisexuality as an excuse to get to the female partners of Bi guys. We would put in all of our horror stories about it, but there's only so much typing that I want to do on this subject.

Most of those guys are trying to get some sneaky side action, since the wife isn't putting out, so they figure they can hook a couple with a bi guy and then they can get some poon as well as two blowjobs. Those types almost always ignore you for the wife.
They never get far enough with us to satisfy those urges.

[RockGardener]

WHAT????????

Guys who "become" bi later in life don't become that way because their wife isn't putting out. It's because they have buried their feelings and since wife isn't putting out, they figure they have nothing to lose by seeking out male affection. Or.. they got to the age where they don't want to deny their feelings any more. Or.. they remember some experimentation from back in the day and they want to know if it was as good as they remember. As for easier for guys to hook up with guys than girls, what planet are you on?

[onewhocares]

What a most timely and rather uncanny thread to come home to tonight. This afternoon I was in the company of a man who at one time had been with my husband. We spent a leisurely rainy afternoon sipping coffee and listening to the rain pelt down...was supposed to look at a job site but there was not way that I was going to go out into the mire. Well anyway, he was reflecting back on the time that he and hubby had been together ( I was NOT involved in their physical relationship but he and I have stayed in touch for business reasons) and how that seemed so long ago, and that now looking back that he is sure he is not bisexual. That the time he and hubby played was a really stressful and tumultuous time in his life. As the conversation went on, as I listened, the subject of a similar thread which I had read and posted to came to my mind. It was said above that some men are driven to bisexuality by their wives....that the wives do not for whatever reason given their husbands the love, physical attention, and intimacy that they crave. He agreed with me whole heartedly....that had his wife of nearly 30 years been more affectionate and attentive to his needs as he was to hers, he never, in hind sight, would have gone down the bisexual path. I ended up hugging him and saying that I am glad that he came into our life, for he is a true friend.

Perhaps I am just too naive to think that a wife's lack of affection could actually lead to a man feeling that he has no other choice but to be with a man. I think the desire to be with a man is with in him and not influenced by his wife. May I have your thoughts.

[bicuriouslondonguy]

that is my wife's biggest fear right now.. that the reason I came out as bisexual is because she isn't meeting my needs (or that she may not be able to satisfy them) however, I knew I was bi as far back as I can remember, I just had to accept myself, and that took time... but every situation is different.

[fairbankswingers]

You are not off base.

most of those guys are trying to get some sneaky side action, since the wife isn't putting out, so they figure they can hook a couple with a bi guy and then they can get some poon as well as two blowjobs. Those types almost always ignore you for the wife.
They never get far enough with us to satisfy those urges.

Trust us, we feel your pain there and when we tell them that it will be MM only..maybe in the far out future I might play with him and Roger, becuase Roger wants me there, well they seem to become "busy" and when the one actually asked me when Roger went to the restroom at the club if I wanted to be with a "real Man" and I asked what do you mean, he went on to say since he was only going to be getting the blow jobs and only doing anal to Roger he was not gay like Roger, when I asked him why he told Roger he was attracted to Roger and told Roger he like kissing and blow jobs, etc he said becuase he wanted to get to know me, well, I excused myself, found Roger and left. This is only one of many experances that the guy was more interested in getting some "pussy" then cock.

[FerociousFeline]

Personally, I think it's our nature.

Mother Nature has endowed human beings with the ability to adapt to all circumstances. This is why I have often spoken of the fact (at least in MY mind) that all people are bisexual whether they realize it or not.

Human beings need to be touched. Males have a sex drive that if not properly dealt with can cause all manner of seeming extremes. I think it may also be psycho-social. Meaning that once a het pair cease to have relations, if the male has any genuine ties to that female, then some will not break those ties by having sexual relations with a female outside of the relationship. But Mother Nature WILL HAVE HER WAY. I believe such a condition kicks off a different set of latent hormones in males and triggers the urge to have sex with men. Obviously this goes for men who would not normally choose men as sex partners, because many men (and women) seem to have those hormones on full time all the time.

But if the female in the pairing is the Dominant, then it can have the effect of imasculating the male after a certain fashion. Once this perceived imasculation occurs, many men recognize their own Yin, for the first time. I believe that the effect is sustained in men who come to a sense of resolution with their Yin side, and I believe it is temporary for those men who cannot resolve the changes to their self image and identity when the self awareness of their own Yin side becomes apparent.

Just to offer a bit of further perspective (while on the subject) I believe that all homophobia is based on two primary energies. One, a fear of ones own opposite side, and two, an unresolved unconscious self hatred.

Let me explain before you freak out about what I said. I had a conversation the other day with some homophobes which illuminated to me that men who I have heard say that they would rather DIE than have a dick in their mouth....are the very same men who EXPECT a WOMAN to put HIS dick in HER mouth. Any way that you cut it, this is a seriously fucked up condition. If he expects to cum in her mouth, but finds it disgustingly gross for him to consider a dick cumming in his own mouth, then he is EITHER abusive towards women (because he is degrading them by expecting them to do something that he wouldn't do himself) OR he has a case of self hatred that runs deep. (He cannot accept his own body or cannot find his own body attractive or erotic. (and so by association is still degrading women. {he thinks his cum is disgusting and is grateful that a woman likes it, but then he doesn't really respect her for it because he can't accept it himself.}) So what's good for women is not good for him. I don't know about yall, but in my book of logic, this indicates that he either hates her, or hates himself, or both. So the idea that another man can lay down with a man and do what women do makes that man less of a man, and less than a woman (because according to his fucked up logic) women are SUPPOSED to do this, men aren't. It is this very same mechanism however, which is why women on women are so attractive to this type of man. He unconsciously realizes that for a woman to love another woman that she must basically be whole. She must be able to love herself in order to appreciate the idea of having sex with her mirror image (another woman). Being able to be in love with self enough to love both self and others in a mirror image is just a whole lotta luvin', and is attractive in anyone's book. (as long as it's women, because women are supposed to be nurturant whole beings whereas men are supposed to be tough and unyielding like a rock).

So, it really opened my eyes when I started thinking of homophobes as people who had a serious case of self hatred. Personally, I think that incidentally proves that homophobia is a serious SICKNESS.

Just my two cents worth.

FF

[csrakate]

that is my wife's biggest fear right now.. that the reason I came out as bisexual is because she isn't meeting my needs (or that she may not be able to satisfy them) however, I knew I was bi as far back as I can remember, I just had to accept myself, and that took time... but every situation is different.

Your words ring very true for many wives of bi men....and I thank you for sharing them.

i agree. Some guys do find out late in life. But it is usually triggered by a absence in affection of there wife and the inability to find a female mate.

To suggest that wives drive their men to bisexuality due to lack of affection or whether or not they "put out" is very narrow minded thinking at best. It sounds more like making excuses for what you desire instead of accepting who you really are at heart.

[12voltman59]

What people want in terms of sexuality and such is a very complex thing--while a man might step outside his marriage because of a variety of reasons--but if he does that stepping out with other guys---then he had those desires going on for a long time anyhow----if he were purely "straight" he would step out and find other ladies to have sex with.

While it does seem to be true that men are "easier" when it comes to sex--if a guy thinks that sex with other men is so gross, sick and all of that--he isn't gonna do it no matter how much he wants fast and easy sex.

[rissababynta]

Kinda sounds like my situation when the hubby was looking into experimentation. Guys thought he was hot, but always wanted to know if I would join in. Sometimes they would say "i'll fool around with you too if you'll let me screw her" which entirely defeated the purpose...so yeah...some guys out there can be stupid...

[dwrman65]

WHAT????????

Guys who "become" bi later in life don't become that way because their wife isn't putting out. It's because they have buried their feelings and since wife isn't putting out, they figure they have nothing to lose by seeking out male affection. Or.. they got to the age where they don't want to deny their feelings any more. Or.. they remember some experimentation from back in the day and they want to know if it was as good as they remember. As for easier for guys to hook up with guys than girls, what planet are you on?

I was wondering what planet you are on ,because I can get online and set something up with little problems if I don't want to be picky. I can't set anything up with a woman online or in person to save my life. don't believe I am the only one.

[void()]

Never was curious in my life. Did not always know the terminology and such exactly, but I knew myself. And that self has always enjoyed the company of men and women, probably always shall.

Met the wife online. Asked her to marry before ever seeing even a picture of her. She is gorgeous and that shone through. Did not want to lose a good thing in life. Chose to be honest.

After a few months of her and I talking, let her know. Still got married. We are privately open, within reason of course. And the reason is neither of is seeking to leave one another, we also look out for safety.

She wants me to have a boyfriend and has no insecurity over it. At one point she was insecure. Because I love her, time was given, understanding and explaining, assurance. Now, I have someone that I consider a boyfriend.

He makes me as happy as she does. He loves me like she does. I love him the same as I love her. One thing that's come up is a sense of interruption, going across lines. He understands I love her, and she understands I love him. If they get together as friends that's great!

If they want to go off a bit to themselves, that's great! It's love, not jealousy. Both of them are mature adults and can speak for themselves. If she only wants to friends with him, that's cool. Perhaps, I ought to watch out for tag team rolling pins, though. :)

But yes I've seen lots of poser bi guys. There's one that always touts being bi, but in chat it seems all he's after is skirts like scalps. Sorry that just strikes me as odd.

I can and do flirt with some of the ladies. But they always seem to know or I let the cat out, there's only one Lady for me. So the flirting is all in good fun, lots of barking and no bite.

Probably won't flirt much if any with the guys now. Only one man for me. I'm weird like that, funny sense of monogamy, a man and woman and faithful to them.

[Meinbruder]

I’ll echo dwrman65. I ran an ad, on another website, and had to fight the horny solo guys off with a stick. Some of them half my age or half the state away, all of them just looking for a fast Bj or a once off encounter. None of the couples, or women, I contacted even wrote back to say no thank you. Of the three “couples” who contacted me to meet, only the male could possibly be there for a first meeting and all of them broke contact when I insisted the wife be present as well.
M

[cuthwulf]

WHAT????????

Guys who "become" bi later in life don't become that way because their wife isn't putting out. It's because they have buried their feelings and since wife isn't putting out, they figure they have nothing to lose by seeking out male affection. Or.. they got to the age where they don't want to deny their feelings any more. Or.. they remember some experimentation from back in the day and they want to know if it was as good as they remember. As for easier for guys to hook up with guys than girls, what planet are you on?

Couldn't agree with you more RockGardener. I got to an age i couldn't deny my feelings anymore.Also i remembered my "experimentation"earlier which had been great.And lastly my wife wasn't putting out. So you had the prefect reason why i came out as bi. In fact looking back i probably was always in denial. My natural growth was stunted in late teens

[matterinhand]

Whilst agreeing with most of the comments on here, lets not forget the youngsters who go with their own sex (especially males) because they can't get anywhere with the opposite sex.
I've got no doubt some are bi or gay from day one, but there's a lot of 'unusual' guys who try it because they are desperate for both attention and sexual stimulus more than their own hands.
('Unusual' = not physically attractive, not a sports hero, not extravert, etc.)

And maybe if some of the bi guys were honest about their feelings before they entered into marriage, they could save themselves years of repression or sheer abject terror of being discovered.

[bamberggm]

For every guy that shows an interest in me there are twenty that show an interest in my wife. They will say and do anything they can to get into to a position to talk, meet, or smex her lol. That includes this website. I sit in chat and get the: "you guys look hot. is your wife there now?" i say no shes in germany till dec and the convo damn near stops on a dime. Iload the pics of me onto this website and no one ever contacted me. i loaded one picture of my fiance and BOOM i get like 5 messeges a day now. Hmmmm. I wonder why? Looking over the posts from other couples with bi males it seems to read true.

[binectar]

Get used to it my friend. And they can also seem quite sincere while trying to do an end-around! It's just one of those things those of us lucky enough to have open-minded women in our life are never going to be able to avoid!

[tatooedpunk]

[QUOTE=RockGardener;111120]WHAT????????

Guys who "become" bi later in life don't become that way because their wife isn't putting out. It's because they have buried their feelings and since wife isn't putting out, they figure they have nothing to lose by seeking out male affection. Or.. they got to the age where they don't want to deny their feelings any more. Or.. they remember some experimentation from back in the day and they want to know if it was as good as they remember. As for easier for guys to hook up with guys than girls, what planet are you on?[/QUOTE

Thanks Rock,

I have struggled with being bi-sexual all my life,i still am not all that happy with it but have accepted it as has my wife. I have no interest in chasing guys because its "easier" how the hell is it ever easier to be anything other than straight

[bamberggm]

I have searched Yahoo, Bisexual.com, and ever personals. I always like to ask the question. When did you know you were bi? Most people answer "I've always known" ad to some respect i believe them. However gus who "struggled" with there sexuality all there life are a rarity. i think it has moreto do with the human need to feel wanted. when a wife or hell woman in general stop paying attention to you then you seek attention and affection anyway you can get it.

[tatooedpunk]

Sorry i think you are so wrong,
If you cant find a girlfriend i think any straight guy would NEVER think of another guy

[tatooedpunk]

Had to ad,i meant struggled to accept it not struggled to know it you self righteous (quitting now )

[bamberggm]

People will kidnap, rape, murder, and a host of other things. Ive seen people to someof the most amazing and stupid ass things to get a little attention. Playing Bi to try to get a piece of a bi guys woman doesnt sound strange at all. If your not like that then congratz you are a vast minority. If you read up you will see entries from a host of men and women who have experienced the same exact thing. Now i imagine this threadinsullts you a bit and for that i am sorry. But the vast majority of the guys on the internet are especially the AARP group are exactly as i described. Like i said i dont know you and if your the exception then i wish there were more people like you.

[rayosytruenos]

Resently i have ran into this rash of "bi" males who are only bi because their wives no long put out and guys are well... easier. As soon as they find out i have a uber supportive girl the conversations turn quckly from me to her. I was wondering if any other guys have been having the same problem. I just think these guys are sorta pathetic. What do you think? Am i off base? Flaming is of course authorized. I love free speech.
Hi! Well, I guess it depends on the person, but I've been with a few married guys who have confessed to me during or after our sessions that they were married, some even with kids, some even with grown-up children. If they were having sex with other guys for not having much affection or sex with their wives, I don't know, but I think most of them were there because they wanted to have sex just with other guys.

Easier to have sex with guys than with girls? Sure!!! Sorry for contradicting other people on this point, but even if you are average looking, average body shape and average penis, if you go to the urinals in a gay pub, I'm sure you can have some sex, usually even right there and then!

I don't know of any place where I could do the same and enjoy female attention, more if we take into consideration that usually toilets for girls are separated from toilets for guys.

When I've been on the pull, I've received a few blowjobs from different guys and I've fucked maybe 2 blokes on the same night. Of course, the count varies from one night to night, sometimes I've been not interested in some of the blokes or some of the blokes have not been interested in me, but I think it has been just a few occasions where I haven't had one sexual partner at least. (If you are concerned about my health, don't be, I play safe).

There is a favourite gay pub, straight friendly where I have hooked up with girls, but it is not the norm, as they usually are there with their boyfriends to have a drink. I remember one girl with whom I had a couple of great sex sessions, who was really interested when I told her that I considered myself bisexual and she wanted to see me receiving a blowjob from another guy, but when we went another night, it was quite empty and I didn't like any of the guys there to give me a blowjob.

I'm sure that if I knew of a place where I could pick up girls so easily and straightforward down to business I would pick up fewer guys.

My problem is that I don't have a regular partner, maybe one of the reasons is that I fear they cannot fulfill my sexual needs. I might be a real sex-addict according to one questionnaire I did long time ago, and also according to my friends.

I think what I really like is sex, but I like to have it with people I consider attractive in some way, there must be a spark there. I don't care about labels. I like women, I like men. I don't feel comfortable doing to guys to what they do to me, I don't reciprocate and even most of the times I don't kiss in the mouth, but I love to kiss and nibbling his earlobes, neck and nipples. I have to find a guy I really find hot to kiss him in the mouth. Nevertheless just a few guys have complained for me not giving to them what they gave to me, as I usually try to make them have a great time in other ways. I've been with other guys who consider themselves also "top" and want to repeat some hot sessions with me!!! Some gays say that I'm just gay and in denial. It could be, but I love to have sex with a hot girl. I don't care what label people want to put on me... I've spent some time suffering to understand myself and to fit into the societal 'straight' world. Now I just try to be myself, whatever that might be.

All the best,

ray

[dwrman65]

For every guy that shows an interest in me there are twenty that show an interest in my wife. They will say and do anything they can to get into to a position to talk, meet, or smex her lol. That includes this website. I sit in chat and get the: "you guys look hot. is your wife there now?" i say no shes in germany till dec and the convo damn near stops on a dime. Iload the pics of me onto this website and no one ever contacted me. i loaded one picture of my fiance and BOOM i get like 5 messeges a day now. Hmmmm. I wonder why? Looking over the posts from other couples with bi males it seems to read true.

well, she is cute. ;)

you look hot as hell though, I'd spend as much time with you as her. why should I have to pick just one? lol

[cohiba]

I am very happily married and enjoy sex often with my wife. With that said I am bi-curious. I have told her so and have never been with a man but dream often of oral sex, mostly of me performing oral sex. I eaven fantasize of swallowing his cum. The colsest I have been is tasing my own cum. i also fantasize of anal sex and love it when my wife penetrates me with a dildo or strap-on.

[zanybrainy]

A lot of times I go into the chat room and the first thing I am asked is if my wife is with me. Usually she is but she doesn't play. When that piece of information gets passed along the conversation gets quiet and then they disappear. It's one reason I don't go into chat much anymore.

[FerociousFeline]

It occurs that I didn't offer very much of a bridge to my previous post to the question at hand. (My apologies) I got caught up in one aspect of thread off the main thread there.

Men who consistantly stroll past you and home-in on your wife like she has a radar beacon, are men who still haven't come to grips with who they are.

99% of the time, these (people) {yes, I've seen it in reverse genders as well}
Are people who have an overwhelming unconscious need for external validation of self. They long for the other partner who will give them the self confidence and the reasons behind their self acceptance. When they hear about your woman being accepting and supportive of you, they flock because they have not yet experienced approval by a partner they desire. Unfortunately they have not learned that acceptance and approval and validation must come from within......anything else is projection of self as victim status and looking for vindication by means of being "rescued".

If it's a problem, I'd discuss it with my partner. If my partner desired to remain under the radar yet participate namelessly in online interaction, I'd change my profile to single male (sans partner) and let our combined experience be represented by one voice.


Hope this helps

FF

[steve195156]

i have been bi since i was 16 just didnt admit it to myself until about 5 years ago. my wife has lost interest in sex the last few years and maybe necessity did kick in. i am not resorting to men like i said i have been and always will be bi. i do find myself drawn to man to man sex more and more lately, and it could be because there is so much of it out there.:tongue::tongue:

[12voltman59]

Need I say it--but the TROLL is BBBBACCCKKKK!!!

By saying in this case that he is from "Chicago" this time--he thinks that he is somehow fooling people--but the tone of his posts and other aspects consistent with his postings under many names----now all banned by Drew and most posts deleted--- prove that there is no doubt the troll has returned for yet one more try at stirring up the pot.

You have to hand it to him--he is a persistent little bugger--but a sick one to have such a fixation on this site, but such things are indications of a very disturbed mind.

[stuporman]

I was always bi, but that part of me was awakened out of necessity; ie it was hard to score with girls. Guys are just easier. If that makes me a "loser", then all the stuck up people can go take a flying leap onto my fist. Stuck up people make me see red. Yes, there are guys who will tell you they're bi just to get into your wife's pants. However, my wife stopped "putting out" a long time ago, and since then I have done whatever was neccesary. I have no apologies to make to anyone for that. I do what I need to get what I need..... and a lot of the time I do OK. My wife is dying of cancer, and I have to change her diapers and her catheter. She was a drunk who got pregnant with another mans child, whom I am now raising as my own. Don't you DARE tell me what to do or call me "sad" or a loser. I am doing a lot better with a lot less than most of the "beautiful people" do.
Dear Friends, please excuse my ranting. But justice is justice...and when the rules are stacked against you , you make your own.
:tongue:

[RockGardener]

when the rules are stacked against you , you make your own. :tongue:

True, so true!

[steve195156]

i am a bi male married to a wonderful woman. for what ever reason she has lost all of her sex drive. she has given me the ok to play with married couple and or bi males. now for me i have always been bi, so i didnt turn bi because of the lact of sex from my wife. im not sure anyone does that. you are either bi or you are not. so i dont think you become bi out of necessity.