I came out

[bicuriouslondonguy]

so this week, thanks to the very important help of my cousin (who is my best friend) I managed to tell my wife I'm bisexual. she was cool with it (she's bi herself), although at the same time she almost handled it like... I don't know... really nonchalantly... wasn't even like an "I'm proud of you for telling me" moment (although my cousin was really good about that)

anyways, I know she'll never share me... with anyone... which is kind of regretful, because I've never had a lot of chances to explore that side of me, and right now I never will...

...can anyone offer any advice?

[angelrose1955]

Congrats hon....maybe she acted that way because she already knew so it was no surprise to her?? Who knows....but we wish you all the best...and maybe if you gently and calmly discuss it, she will come around...Does she have females that she plays with? Since she is bi?? if so then can't see why she would object to you having a bimale...but then I am not her...and would never try to pretend to know how she feels...ASK HER hon...in a loving way.
Shameless and I have discussed it and I feel as long as I am the ONLY female in his life, I would not have a problem with him exploring his bi side...as long as it was done safely...and he has said that it will not happen unless I am there and the bimale is compatible with the both of us...just like him to think of me too...I love that man...
Anyway..talk to her and who knows what tomorrow will bring
Hugz
AngelRose

[bicuriouslondonguy]

thank you very much for the words of encouragement :) I know she hasn't played with any girls since before she got together, and even since coming out to her she has outright said she will not share me with anyone, if she was there or not... I know she knew I was bi, pretty much since we first got together she did, but I've been coming to terms with myself for years... I even remember when we first started seeing each other (which was over 6 years ago, and we just got married this summer, yay me :D) that she said if I wanted to explore with a guy she would be cool with it, but she's come completely about face on that :-/

[31cho]

so this week, thanks to the very important help of my cousin (who is my best friend) I managed to tell my wife I'm bisexual. she was cool with it (she's bi herself), although at the same time she almost handled it like... I don't know... really nonchalantly... wasn't even like an "I'm proud of you for telling me" moment (although my cousin was really good about that)

anyways, I know she'll never share me... with anyone... which is kind of regretful, because I've never had a lot of chances to explore that side of me, and right now I never will...

...can anyone offer any advice?

I think you have to be honest and open with her.Share your thoughts with her and listen to her thoughts.I my self is dating a bi girl.I met her on this site.We both talked about that situation.We both came to an agreement About what is accepted and whats not accepted and we both respect each others feelings.It worked out for the both of us.Give it a try good luck.

[coldwinterman]

Congratulations on your coming out. I can only imagine the relief and joy you must feel knowing that you don't have to hide certain comments or feelings. My wife is not very accepting at all.

When my wife and I started dating, we were both huge flirts. Anytime, anywhere, and with almost anyone. Once we got married, her attitude about flirting changed dramatically. She saw our commitment to each other as very significant in her life. As such, she became jealous when I would go for coffee with friends or work colleagues. We had a long talk and it came to the point where she finally admitted that her insecurities were the root of her jealousy. It's tough in this world. TV, Movies, Commercials, Music Videos, and on and on... They make people (men included) feel insufficient and incapable of being truly happy. She's very happy with our life and isn't looking for anything to change.

Based on the few discussions my wife and I have gotten into, she seems to think that if she approves of my preferences, then I'll start exploring them more physically. I'm not looking for physical relationships or opening up our marriage. I just like to admit that watching two guys kiss is just as hot as watching two girls or a guy and a girl kiss. But her insecurities kick into overdrive at the thought of me with anyone else (male or female).

I would venture a guess that your wife is in a similar boat. While dating was fun and fresh, being married means being committed. She's not looking to open the relationship up. That could be why she's so cold to the idea. I would give her time to see that you love her and are just curious. She may warm up. I've met some amazing people here who have the kind of relationship that I dream of. I'm willing to put dime to dollar that each of those relationships took time, patience, and understanding. And lots of talking.

My two cents for the bucket.

Hugs.

[bicuriouslondonguy]

thank you so much to everyone for all the support. it's nice to know that there are people out there who get how I feel.

on the plus side, she has been willing to get some new toys to use on me, which I'll admit is not the same, but it's something at least...

now I did do some exploring with a friend back when I was in high school... a lot of exploring, over a few years, actually... which is how I knew I was bi, I've never lost interest in both sexes (in a physical way anyways, to be honest I don't think I'd like an emotional relationship with a man), and the user name I have here is because I actually created this account several months ago, when I was still coming to terms with myself

[angelrose1955]

You are welcome hon...just be honest with her and maybe remind her...gently...of what she had said before you got married. I am sure her anxiety about you finding another to take her place is what is on her mind right now...let her know that this is not the pont...and maybe ask her if she would feel better if she got to help pick out the one for you to explore with...might help..
Anyway...good luck hon...may the spirits guide your pathway to happiness
AngelRose

[Rambigent]

First of all, congrats on coming out! Even if you and even your wife kind of suspected it all along, coming out and saying it is a big step.

As for your wife agreeing to let you play with others - definitely talk this one out. If she doesn't want to share you right now though, I would say you should try to accept that. It's possible that her feelings could change over time. Ultimately you'll have to make your own decision on how to deal with your desires, but I would suggest you give it some time for now. Enjoy exploring with toys and accepting your bisexuality while remaining monogamous. You'll work out the rest of the stuff over time.

[bicuriouslondonguy]

again I can't say thank you enough for all the good advice and support I'm getting from people here... I think the best thing for now is to not push the issue (as several of them have said) which is fine, things can change over time and this is all still pretty fresh for her too... hell she even asked me last night if I think this guy who is giving me rides home from my new job is cute... I don't, but she almost seemed to be encouraging that lol so who knows