Is it normal for a bi to be aroused to ladies mostly?

[dark matter]

Hi everyone! :)
There's an issue I've been tormented by for quite a while. Sorry if I overlooked any similar threads, it's just really vital for me to hear the forum members' ideas. I'm bi and have been more so by the year since high school. I'm usually more attracted to masculine men than to women, but I almost never have arousal to men, while sometimes erecting strongly on women. I do feel myself much more a female than a male and there's currently a guy I'm strongly in love with. I haven't yet slept with guys, but I in a sexual fantasy it is men, not women that flame me.
I'm trying to reconcile with this, but still, any ideas? Maybe, there's someone with similar experience?
Thanks everyone! :flag4:

[FerSureMaybe]

I wish we collectively, as a society, would remove the word "normal" from all languages.

Everyone is normal for who they are. That's really all that matters.

But, really, there's nothing with your situation. I personally have sort of the same deal. While there is the occasional female who really gets me going, I find myself more emotionally attracted to women to begin with. That emotional attraction is usually followed by a physical one. On the bright side, I'm a lot less vain when it comes to women.

When it comes to men, it's usually the reverse. I'm initially physically attracted to them, and that is sometimes followed by emotional attraction, granted their personality doesn't actually suck. I really have to watch my vanity when it comes to men though, where I find I can be more happy with who girls actually are rather than what they look like.

I wouldn't feel like there was anything wrong with how you are, and you shouldn't be bothered by it. After all, it's who you are. Judging by your love for the guy, you're probably somewhat the way I am. So either we're both weirdos, or it's totally ok. ;)

[dark matter]

Thanks for your reply and encouragement!:tongue:
It's maybe that I needed to hear someone else coming up with similar stuff, and it feels really reassuring there's people out there not intending to condemn you, but offering advice and support.:bipride:

[FalconAngel]

As FerSureMaybe pointed out, so eloquently, nomal is a highly subjective term.

What we consider normal is concidered odd, or even bizarre by other people....even in other cultures.

You are quite normal, as bisexuals go. We don't all get turned on by the same things. Some are excited by men more than women, some by women, more than me and others by both men and women equally. Still others get turned on by each gender in varying levels throughout different periods of their lives.

I love playing with men and women equally, but, to be honest, there are not a lot of men that "turn me on". To date, only one has really excited me on one occasion, and I only saw him, never met him.

So it's okay that many men don't "turn you on".
For many of us the turn on part is once we meet and talk and find that we are more alike than different; that we have enough in common to have something more than just a sexual bond, but a bond of friendship and, sometimes, love.

Wallow in your sexuality and don't worry about it. It is what it is and if it ebbs and flows, just accept that it happens to many of us.

You are not alone.

[FalconAngel]

As FerSureMaybe pointed out, so eloquently, normal is a highly subjective term.

What we consider normal is concidered odd, or even bizarre by other people....even in other cultures.

You are quite normal, as bisexuals go. We don't all get turned on by the same things. Some are excited by men more than women, some by women, more than me and others by bothmen and women equally. Still others get turned on by each gender in varying levels throughout different periods of their lives.

I love playing with men and women equally, but, to be honest, there are not a lot of men that "turn me on". To date, only one has really excited me on one occasion, and I only saw him, never met him.

So it's okay that many men don't "turn you on".
For many of us the turn on part is once we meet and talk and find that we are more alike than different; that we have enough in common to have something more than just a sexual bond, but a bond of friendship and, sometimes, love.

Wallow in your sexuality and don't worry about it. It is what it is and if it ebbs and flows, just accept that it happens to many of us.

You are not alone.

[Meinbruder]

Like FerSureMaybe said, open your dictionary and razor out the word normal. You might want to remove the word abnormal while you’re at it. I’m similar in your experience but on the other side of the coin. I'm highly attracted to women but not men. Once I develop a friendship, sexual desire will creep in out of nowhere with certain men I’ve known in my life. While I was married, I remained faithful; now that the divorce is final I don’t have to restrain myself. I practically raped my best friend recently; he has been trying to seduce me for the last three years.

You are young, enjoy life as you wish and don’t worry about what other people might think.

[darkeyes]

Normal don an neva has existed..ther just is... thats wy humanity is so varied an wonderful...an sumtimes..often..less than wonderful...

[hotblue9925]

If there IS normal out there I've never seen it. Ya just gotta go with what you feel is right for you.

[dark matter]

Thanks again, everyone!
Bi the bi, I could add yet another detail - I was never aroused by the girls I had relationships with previously. It was, on the other hand, an extremely strong emotional attraction. BI-sides, I'm always into a very particular type of ladies, others simply don't stir me emotionally. Those females who I feel attracted to sexually, I don't like much emotionally.:flag4::compuser:

[Vikkster230]

I think instead of "worrying" about the type of person you're attracted to and if it's normal or not, learn to accept this glorious journey that you're on. Remember what you're looking for and focus on that. The universe will bring that in either gender. I would also switch the word normal with natural... To me, normal invokes a judgement. If it feels natural to you it's more positive and right. Step back and focus on the qualities you want from the other person and let it fly from there. You are not alone in the way you feel... :)