Should I kiss her?

[BunnyAce]

I've been friends with; let’s just call her Jessie, for about 3 years. And the friendship started because a relationship wouldn't have worked out. There's always been an attraction and flirty element to our friendship, but we never seriously moved on it.

So I was out of the country for a few months and I really missed her. Like really!! I'm going to see her next week, but I don't know if I should make a move. This could make our friendship really awkward because she fell in love with and broke up with another girl while I was gone, but it still seems like she cares for her and I have a boyfriend now (and he doesn't mind at all that I like women).

I want to see if we have something more than a friendship, but if I get brutally rebuffed the awkwardness is sure to come.

Any suggestions???

[Tiger Lily]

I've been friends with; let’s just call her Jessie, for about 3 years. And the friendship started because a relationship wouldn't have worked out. There's always been an attraction and flirty element to our friendship, but we never seriously moved on it.

So I was out of the country for a few months and I really missed her. Like really!! I'm going to see her next week, but I don't know if I should make a move. This could make our friendship really awkward because she fell in love with and broke up with another girl while I was gone, but it still seems like she cares for her and I have a boyfriend now (and he doesn't mind at all that I like women).

I want to see if we have something more than a friendship, but if I get brutally rebuffed the awkwardness is sure to come.

Any suggestions???

This is a tricky one.... I supose the question you should ask yourself is, Will you regret not ever knowing??
I try to live without regret but it's hard when you look back thinking you should of taken the chance.
All I can say is talk to her, be honest about your feelings for her and ask her to do the same in return. If you mean that much to each other as friends, you'll work it out.
Life is too short to wonder about what if's, sometimes you only get one chance, but be respectful in how you take that chance.

TL xxx

[MissCurious35]

In my simple opinion I believe if you do not try you will regret it for a long time to come. After reading through you mentioned seeing her soon..I think you should use this opprotunity to see if there truly is a spark of interest. I know when I haven't seen a friend in a while that when I do get to see her/him;instantly I wrap my arms around and on occassion a kiss follows the embrace(innocently of course). But in your instance maybe a simple kiss isn't in order. Maybe just maybe you should take her face in your hands and kiss her like you have wanted too and then see what happens. If you two are close friends there is nothing you can not work through. Believe in yourself and your feelings and she will believe in you too. Best of luck....~Melissa~

[FalconAngel]

The words of General GS Patton comes to mind "fear kills more men than bullets".

Take the chance and go for it. You are both already into each other, but if it stays just friends, or carries on to something else, is something that you will never know if you don't take the leap.

[shameless agitator]

I'm just going to support the consensus here. Personally, I would much rather regret things I've done than things I haven't.

[markvmen]

I've been friends with; let’s just call her Jessie, for about 3 years. And the friendship started because a relationship wouldn't have worked out. There's always been an attraction and flirty element to our friendship, but we never seriously moved on it.

So I was out of the country for a few months and I really missed her. Like really!! I'm going to see her next week, but I don't know if I should make a move. This could make our friendship really awkward because she fell in love with and broke up with another girl while I was gone, but it still seems like she cares for her and I have a boyfriend now (and he doesn't mind at all that I like women).

I want to see if we have something more than a friendship, but if I get brutally rebuffed the awkwardness is sure to come.

Any suggestions???


Not a suggestion, but I've been listening to this song all night!!! :three:

http://music.aol.com/video/i-kissed-a-girl/katy-perry/2139029

[parkerbi]

In my simple opinion I believe if you do not try you will regret it for a long time to come. After reading through you mentioned seeing her soon..I think you should use this opprotunity to see if there truly is a spark of interest. I know when I haven't seen a friend in a while that when I do get to see her/him;instantly I wrap my arms around and on occassion a kiss follows the embrace(innocently of course). But in your instance maybe a simple kiss isn't in order. Maybe just maybe you should take her face in your hands and kiss her like you have wanted too and then see what happens. If you two are close friends there is nothing you can not work through. Believe in yourself and your feelings and she will believe in you too. Best of luck....~Melissa~

Good suggestion. Just do it following this tips.;)

[bityme]

I've been friends with; let’s just call her Jessie, for about 3 years. And the friendship started because a relationship wouldn't have worked out. There's always been an attraction and flirty element to our friendship, but we never seriously moved on it.

So I was out of the country for a few months and I really missed her. Like really!! I'm going to see her next week, but I don't know if I should make a move. This could make our friendship really awkward because she fell in love with and broke up with another girl while I was gone, but it still seems like she cares for her and I have a boyfriend now (and he doesn't mind at all that I like women).

I want to see if we have something more than a friendship, but if I get brutally rebuffed the awkwardness is sure to come.

Any suggestions???


If you want to preserve your friendship no matter what her reaction is, I would suggest a different approach.

Just be honest with her. Tell her that you have been friends for a long time and that you value that relationship above all. Tell her that while you have been gone you really missed her and you are now confused. You want to keep her as a friend no matter what but you feel your attraction to her has been growing. Let her know that you don't want to take advantage of the way she might feel just having broken up with her girlfriend. Ask her how she feels. If her response is positive, ask if you can give her the kiss that has been on your mind since the last time you saw her.

If she doesn't feel the same, she will probably tell you that she just wants to remain friends. If she does feel the same way, take her in your arms and begin a new and exciting journey.

I would not suggest trying to convey your feelings just by getting physical, especially if you want to keep her as a friend no matter what. Getting physical without a discussion could freak her out. Friends are people who are there for you, that you can talk to, and who help you through rough times. Take it easy and you will either begin a new romance or you will find that your friend is understanding and will help you through this because even though she doesn't want the romance she values the friendship.

Just another approach. What ever you decide, gook luck.

Mike

[IndyBiFun]

I agree with everyone else. Regrets are a touch feeling to overcome.

There is someone that I wished I would have taken a chance and kissed three years ago and it still eats at me every day. Especially when we still get together for an after work drink and appetizer every now and then or share emails. Regret and always wondering in your mind always hangs with you.

Be respectful, be truthful and kiss her.

Best of luck.

[Bluebiyou]

KISS ... HER... !
The only regrets we have in life are the might-have-beens and not loving enough.

I agree with Falcon.... "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." (FDR, not Patton, but Patton's quote is still cool).
Besides, the first kiss in a relationship is often apprehensive and awkward.
Besides, there is another truism about relationships.
In every relationship there will come times for the relationship to culminate (ascend) or terminate. By not kissing her you are postponing the inevitable.

[demeterschild]

I really think you should take it slowly. If she's just gotten through a relationship, then you don't want to be the rebound, that always ends badly and she might not make intelligent decisions if she's still in pain from that relationship. At the same time, you said your boyfriend is okay with you *liking* women, but that doesn't mean he gave his consent to let you kiss them behind his back (unless he did, in which case, never mind). I'd suggest you talk to this girl about your feelings. Because unless everything goes 100% perfectly and your planets are aligned, there's a super high chance of awkwardness. I'd settle for the slightly less romantic approach - which will hopefully lead to more romance in the future and less messy problems to sort through.

[darkeyes]

Hun..fore ya dive in wiv both feet an give er a snog suggest ya suss the mood, the circumstance an er body language.. the signals she gives off r all important, cos ifya get it rong an ya dus kiss er an she recoils.. not only will u feel shitty, rejected an embarrassed.. ya mite jus not do ya friendship ne gud. Its a very fine line yas treadin an the regret ya may hav for not kissin er...mite jus soon b replaced by the awful regret ya actually did...

Me best m8 in the world is a gorge sexy gal me wud neva dream a tryin me luk wiv (apart from the fact our respective partners wud kill 1 or both a us!!) cos we been through far 2 much togetha..we r m8's, confidantes, shoppin partners, dress consultants, critics an babba sitters among otha things.. we laff, we blub, we argue, we flirt wiv each otha, we huggle an r silly.. o yea..an we r pash bout the same footie team... but such is that friendship, that closeness, neitha of us wud eva dream a complicatin it by havin a relationship wiv each otha..even in the times we wer both single.

But every friendship is diff.. mayb urs can move 2 the next level an get physical..but its a helluva thing 2 choose 2 do.. even if she responds..havya eva thot how things will b if eitha ofya decides that a sexual relationship is no longer wanted? If it ends? Cos ya shud think a that an all.. then 1 a ya mite jus hav the feelin a rejection an the whole friendship thing again is put in danger.

Not sayin don do it..don kiss er...an don hav a relationship..am sayin think ahead.. for every action ther is a reaction.. wiv luk that reaction will b gud.. but sumtimes the reaction is ne thin but... jus sayin...b careful... an besta British woteva ya decide!!

[BunnyAce]

Thanks a bunch everyone!! I think I'm going to read her body language and if it's speaking to me I'm going to kiss her!! :tong:

[Bluebiyou]

You go girl!

[BunnyAce]

Sooooo... the friendships still just a friendship, which is cool, but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say I wasn't a little disappointed.

So she was really hot and cold while we were talking, but then she started talking about her ex...gosh, which made it real cold. I slept over so we were spooning and I started rubbing her breast alittle (they felt so good!!), but then she turned around and started talking, so I was like ok...that's the friend signal... boooo! And then I tried sleeping... I've never been so horny...jeeze!

Has that happened to anyone?

So the night wasn't terrible bc I got to see a friend I haven't seen in awhile, but it just didn't end up the way I wanted it to... oh well, I guess!

[darkeyes]

I slept over so we were spooning and I started rubbing her breast alittle (they felt so good!!), but then she turned around and started talking, so I was like ok...that's the friend signal... boooo! And then I tried sleeping... I've never been so horny...jeeze!

Has that happened to anyone?

So the night wasn't terrible bc I got to see a friend I haven't seen in awhile, but it just didn't end up the way I wanted it to... oh well, I guess!

Yes!!! :eek: An its awful... so near yet so far...:(

Know me previous post 2 ya seemed a lil lukewarm..wosn meant 2 b..jus as a warnin an lil friendly advice wot 2 look for an wot mite b the consequences.. least yas still m8s.. suggest ya give it a lil time an at sum future date who can tell spesh wen the x is a lil more x in er mind than at present...;)

[vaddieman]

Kiss her and give her tongue. Show her you care more than just friends. She has been with other women, right. She may be thinking just like you

[chick_a_dee]

When you first meet, take her in your arms and give her a long lasting hug and simply tell her you missed her so very much. Her response will answer all you questions. I hope for the best.

[OpenMindedCPL]

Sooooo... the friendships still just a friendship, which is cool, but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say I wasn't a little disappointed.

So she was really hot and cold while we were talking, but then she started talking about her ex...gosh, which made it real cold. I slept over so we were spooning and I started rubbing her breast alittle (they felt so good!!), but then she turned around and started talking, so I was like ok...that's the friend signal... boooo! And then I tried sleeping... I've never been so horny...jeeze!

Has that happened to anyone?

So the night wasn't terrible bc I got to see a friend I haven't seen in awhile, but it just didn't end up the way I wanted it to... oh well, I guess!

Hmmm, Well as someone has already said it could be her ex is abit to much at the front of her mind, And you have to look at it this way she did atleast let you start to rub her breast so that I would say is a good thing just that it might have made her think of something about her ex and that's why she turned around and stopped it or it could be she was not sure if you where awake and knew just what your hand was doing. But in any case it seems like she might need abit more time and yes like someone else said who knows she could be thinking just like you.

In any case I hope things work out for you both.

[Rambigent]

Sorry it didn't work out quite the way you hoped, but on the bright side you had a nice visit.

And now you can plan on how to totally seduce her the next time you two get together! You know, after she's gotten the chance to get over he ex. ;)

[BunnyAce]

:bigrin: Soooo...in an interesting turn of events I hooked up with her and this other girl she's sorta hooking up with. It's pretty complicated because we both like my friend and I still don't know if she likes me, but atleast everyone had fun (didn't completly go all the way though)! :tong:

[innaminka]

If you want to preserve your friendship no matter what her reaction is, I would suggest a different approach.

Just be honest with her. Tell her that you have been friends for a long time and that you value that relationship above all. Tell her that while you have been gone you really missed her and you are now confused. You want to keep her as a friend no matter what but you feel your attraction to her has been growing. Let her know that you don't want to take advantage of the way she might feel just having broken up with her girlfriend. Ask her how she feels. If her response is positive, ask if you can give her the kiss that has been on your mind since the last time you saw her.

Mike

I agree with a more "sanitised" approach, like Mike has written.
Nothing kills a friendship faster than the introduction of a sexual factor, if that aspect is not mutual.
Take this slowly - its probably a situation where you are going to have to make a decision "on the spot" after discussions and just sensing how this girl feels about you.
Don't rush headlong into something that may come crashing down, but alternatively, don't disregard your feelings and do nothing.
Maybe it will be right for both of you.

Good luck.