I need relationship advice, please.

[XXXperimental]

My daughter's mom and I have started seeing each other again after taking some time apart. I'm pretty certain she is bi, but is very guarded about it. I have found her vibrator along with a Adam & Eve ad that was all girl-on-girl videos stashed under the bed. Lots of other signs, but I won't get into them. I'm just letting you know that so you know I have a reason for thinking this. She was raised with a very close-minded father who openly discourages "alternative lifestyles" for lack of a better term. She is a little insecure, and the type of person to keep this type of thing in for fear of being judged. I am pretty much the same way, I am bi, but have not been able to tell her or anyone in my real life. I'm very sexual, and I've seen the freak in her come out on several occasions, but she has a hang-up that if she's too freaky too often, that makes her a slut. How do I help her see that I won't judge her, and that sharing these sides of each other can be a fantastic, healthy thing? I feel like this needs to be brought up very delicately. Am I wrong here? Should I just leave it be? Please help.

[FalconAngel]

Start by telling her that you are Bi. If you are trying to restart a relationship, then total honesty is always best. Explain to her that your sexuality doesn't make you a freak or anything like that and that it only makes you human.

If you cannot be out to an intimate partner, then who can you be out to?

Also, if her discovering that you are Bi gets her to tell you about her sexuality, then it will help.

Explain to her that you are not alone; that there are a lot of people who are Bi and there is a lot of support out there amongst the Bi community for those of us who are Bi.
Direct her to this site, or to any of the hundreds of Yahoo groups and the myriad of other sites for Bisexuals.
Check your local community and see if there is a Bi support group to go to. If there is, then go to it together.

Use your own words, since you know what works best to talk to her on delicate matters than any of us would know.

[still_shy]

I completely agree with Falcon. This is an issue that most assuredly needs to be addressed between the two of you. How can you have an open, honest relationship if you both are hiding a big part of yourself from each other? I think maybe I was a little like your g/f. I knew wayyyy back in the back of my mind that I was attracted to women but I ignored it completely for most of my life. One night, after a few too many glasses of wine, I confessed my desires to my husband. You know what he said? "Well that explains a lot" LOL He already had figured it out but was waiting for my confirmation. And the same may go for your g/f. She may be afraid. I know I was. As soon as the words left my mouth, I was terrified. I certainly didn't expect the response I received. Sometimes people surprise you in the best possible way, but you have to give them the chance to in order to find that out...Good Luck!