When you need it the most...u get a reminder.

[meteast chick]

I didn't set out to start a thread today, but still I find myself writing one. For the last 2 years plus I've been going through this helluva divorce (amongst SO many other things) and thought it was finally over with. Well, something happened a few weeks ago that got my blood boiling and I vowed that I would not go down without a fight. As I sat on my bed a minute ago, sick to my stomach over these things and scared shitless, something took me to my closet and I took down a purse I hadn't used in over a year. I opened it and started rifling through, and here I come along a note I kept.

Allow me to read it to all of you, my friends.

"Hi Honey, Well this is the Weird thing I was on about. To me it means that you can rest ur head beside me and feel like I am close to you. As close as I can possibly be. You'll know my smell and I hope it comforts and holds you as I would. I love you. Yours always Rachelle. Donna XXX...all"

Donna and I never met during our 'courtship' so many miles apart. We often sent packages back and forth, and she had sent that note with her very own pillowcase to me, which I still have, but no longer has her scent, a little over a year ago along with a clipping of lavender from her garden which I still have in my lingerie drawer, and that still smells lovely. Most of you know that our Donna...aka Huneypot, passed away on June 12, 2008.

I then felt the compulsion to write. It truly seems that when things can't get any worse, when you think you're going to explode, when you are all cried out, when you are frightened out of your wits...you get a reminder of comfort, of love, or of what really matters.

I thought I would share this for anyone going through such a time. If you wish to share your own story, please do so.

luv and...spirit kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Rachelle aka meteast

[IanBorthwick]

I wish you all my best dear..I know how you are feeling. There is nothing worse than feeling alone and dealing with seperation/divorce issues.

I am glad that Hunny sent you comfort from beyond, you are truly blessed.

My thoughts are with you and your ordeal.

[darkeyes]

Blows Luffly Rache a lil kissie 2 banish the blues. xoxoxoxoxxoxoxox

[onewhocares]

Hi Rachelle,

Oh my word....Huney will never be far from us. While I was not privileged to have had the relationship you had with her, I care for Used Bear who loved her so. I know you all have seen the drawing that Huney did for him.....of their two hands entwined in a grasp. When he was moving into his new home about a year ago I wanted to get him a house warming gift. Nothing seemed appropriate for the man who seems to have everything. One day when I was shopping for a client of mine ( I decorate houses for my company) I happen to find a store that had a wonderful window display. I went in..found a few pieces for the home I was working on. I turned around one corner when I was in the store and there, standing before me, was a near perfect replica of the hands that Huney drew. It called to me that I had indeed found the perfect gift for Bear. It came home with me. I did not give it to him right away as a potential room mate may have objected to it...so it sat in my bedroom on a table. I saw it every as I went to sleep. In December when Huney was stricken down I thought how foolish I was not to have given it to him. I actually on two occasions came into the chat room when most of that old gang of ours was there asking their opinion on whether or not I should give it to him as the prognosis for Huney's survival was not good. Overwhelmingly, the gang insisted that I present it to him. Well on a business trip this spring, on my way back from Toronto for a class, I went down to Jersey to visit Bear. What was the one thing that I forgot...yup the hands. So my daughter FedEx it to him and it was on his coffee table when I arrived. It felt so nice to see that a part of Huney will always be near him, not far from his heart.

So dear one....Huney comes to comfort us in times of sorrow and joy. She lives in our hearts.

SHE will give you the inspiration to move forward for you and your children.

Belle

[still_shy]

A similar thing happened to me this weekend, I think it's going to sound a little kooky but hopefully you guys will understand it. A little background...
I lost my dad in November of this year. He was a quadraplegic and his body just gave out. He had been sooooo sick for so long. When my little girl was a baby, he had a spinal cord stroke that left him unable to move at all, not even a fraction of an inch. He was utterly helpless. I brought him home with me after a year in the hospital and took care of him for as long as I could. Unfortunately he became tooo ill for me to handle with a baby girl at home. There were nights he would stop breathing two or three times, and would also have seizures. The process of putting him in the nursing home was so awful that I had a nervous breakdown. Literally, ended up in the hospital for two weeks. At the exact same time, my (ex) husband and I were going through the process of separating, beginning what turned out to be a nerve wracking divorce.
OK fast forward to this weekend....I have struggled for months about my dads tombstone. I am the only child, therefore all decisions are mine alone. It's been awhile since he died, and I have to get that stone up. So, on Saturday, my husband took me to a local cemetary to have a look around and see what I wanted. Sounds a little odd, but true. As we entered the cemetary, I was struck with the worst sadness I think I have ever felt. Huge, gasping sobs, I couldn't stop. I was walking through the rows looking at all the people who had passed before me, thinking about the ones they loved and left....and I said a prayer. Now, I'm not the most religious person. I believe what I believe and don't pray often. But something grabbed me that day and told me to ask for help. So I did. I'm not one to ignore a feeling that strong. When I opened my eyes, I saw what I was standing in front of. A HUGE marble stone, the kind you can't miss. Right in front of me was a huge engraving of a ship. Underneath it, the words, "Out of the sea of darkness, into eternal light." I can't say that I felt instant peace or any of that, because it only made me cry harder. But....it was the reminder I needed to see...a slap in the face....because my father lived through one of the worst experiences a person can go through with a smile on his face. He was always teasing me and making jokes. There's nothing more humiliating than having your adult daughter change your diaper, but he would always ask me"Does my butt look big" I miss him every single day. And throughout all my rambling I come to the moral of the story...Out of the sea of darkness, he is. And he's somewhere walking around bathed in light. I needed that reminder to lift some of the heavyness I feel for him.

I don't know if this was what you asked for, Rachael. In my own goofy way, I was trying to help you a little. I am so sorry for your loss, I know those are words said too much but I mean it.

[Mrs.F]

I totally understand. I also lost my dad in October 2006 after a tragic farm accident where he fell off the back of his grain hopper trailer. He and my brother were roping a new tarp on the top and he pulled the rope thinking it would pull taut and it didn't. He had pulled with all his might and he flew off the back hitting his head, hitting his back and breaking it, kinking off his spinal cord and then flipped and landed on his chest unconcious. I still walk out my door and see in my mind where that truck was (they ran the trucks and parked them in my yard) and where I ran out to him and found him. On many occasions and I can't even think of one right now (of-course) certain things will happen and the only thing that you can think of as to why it happened was that dad had something to do with it. I've walked out into his shop many times. Infact the day we shut life support off I was out there on his tractor, looking at his mess out there, saw many notes he had written. I've kept the cap he was wearing that day and even though it is blood stained I have never washed it. I will pick it up and smell it and it smells like him. His sweat and hard work that he always did. My sister has another cap of his that she keeps in the front dashboard of her car so that he is always with her when she travels. You find something in every little thing that reminds us of the one's we love.

My son is 5 and everytime we play Candyland my dad is always a player. He says "Papa" has to play too and neither Flounder or I argue. If he see's me crying he always thinks I'm sad because I lost my dad. Sometimes that is the case, but not always.

They are with us all the time and especially when we need them most!

[Mrs.F]

A similar thing happened to me this weekend, I think it's going to sound a little kooky but hopefully you guys will understand it. A little background...
I lost my dad in November of this year. He was a quadraplegic and his body just gave out. He had been sooooo sick for so long. When my little girl was a baby, he had a spinal cord stroke that left him unable to move at all, not even a fraction of an inch. He was utterly helpless. I brought him home with me after a year in the hospital and took care of him for as long as I could. Unfortunately he became tooo ill for me to handle with a baby girl at home. There were nights he would stop breathing two or three times, and would also have seizures. The process of putting him in the nursing home was so awful that I had a nervous breakdown. Literally, ended up in the hospital for two weeks. At the exact same time, my (ex) husband and I were going through the process of separating, beginning what turned out to be a nerve wracking divorce.
OK fast forward to this weekend....I have struggled for months about my dads tombstone. I am the only child, therefore all decisions are mine alone. It's been awhile since he died, and I have to get that stone up. So, on Saturday, my husband took me to a local cemetary to have a look around and see what I wanted. Sounds a little odd, but true. As we entered the cemetary, I was struck with the worst sadness I think I have ever felt. Huge, gasping sobs, I couldn't stop. I was walking through the rows looking at all the people who had passed before me, thinking about the ones they loved and left....and I said a prayer. Now, I'm not the most religious person. I believe what I believe and don't pray often. But something grabbed me that day and told me to ask for help. So I did. I'm not one to ignore a feeling that strong. When I opened my eyes, I saw what I was standing in front of. A HUGE marble stone, the kind you can't miss. Right in front of me was a huge engraving of a ship. Underneath it, the words, "Out of the sea of darkness, into eternal light." I can't say that I felt instant peace or any of that, because it only made me cry harder. But....it was the reminder I needed to see...a slap in the face....because my father lived through one of the worst experiences a person can go through with a smile on his face. He was always teasing me and making jokes. There's nothing more humiliating than having your adult daughter change your diaper, but he would always ask me"Does my butt look big" I miss him every single day. And throughout all my rambling I come to the moral of the story...Out of the sea of darkness, he is. And he's somewhere walking around bathed in light. I needed that reminder to lift some of the heavyness I feel for him.

I don't know if this was what you asked for, Rachael. In my own goofy way, I was trying to help you a little. I am so sorry for your loss, I know those are words said too much but I mean it.

You are a wonderful daughter! Your dad was very proud of you for what you did for him. I think that saying is most perfect. Good luck to you.

[meteast chick]

I'm so glad to hear of some fellow stories that have really touched my heart.

It's not out of sadness or grief that I wrote. I got such warm fuzzies and comfort that all at once the strife I was feeling left me. It was truly wonderful. A big shout out to LadyD who joined me in found memories of Huney in last night's chat!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Rach

[usedbear1950]

As I sit in my recliner I see the sculpture that Belle gave. When I look at my computer I see the screen saver. a copy of huney's sketch of our hands intertwined. I will always remember that she drew the sketch before she had ever seen my hands...didn't matter...she drew MY hand locked in an embrace with hers.
I know how much Racelle and Donna loved each other and if I could have my wish it would be for them to meet in person. Alas, that is a wish that hasn't come true but I truly feel huney's presence all around us but mostly within us. I miss my lithe Irish lass...but we shall meet, if not in the flesh then most assuredly in spirit.

her ever luvin'
used