Female Libido...:(

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I was just talkingto my best guy friend about something that's been happening to me lately. Something that's unusual and bizzare for Me.
Over the last few months I have lost my libido. (And I Wish the damn thing would find its way Home...)
For instance: Last weekend I went on a 4 day Swingers Campout. Normally, I would have played several times during this event, but this time..zip, nada, nothing. I had 2 gorgeous men and one sweet lady ask me to play and I just couldnt get turned on! A year ago I would have probaly taken on all three and wore them out nicely. (Shup Rich, you've seen it happen..lol)
Seems likeall I wanted to do was kick back and relax in the sun and talk to some new folks during the daylight times, and grab my blanket and sit by the campfire sipping on homemade Mead at night time. All I wanted to sit there and get my head back on right after the break up, and just be totally content right there.
Not even the full moon worked, ya'll!! :confused:

Before I left the significant other I started experiancing this, and just figured that it was tension and stress, and figured that once I was out of that situation, it would come back full bore. I did play about a month ago and it was ok. But it wasnt like the normal Me. :( It wasnt the man's fault, it was mine.
Even my friend Rich said "YOU turned down 2 men, and one lady that wanted some quality time with Your tongue?? Go get some help, woman. That's not like you"
Now see..I went thru a bad time when the SO confessed that I couldnt turn him on anymore, and that did a number on my ego and self-esteem there for a while. I mean hell..if I couldnt turn on my own man, how was I going to turn on anyone Else? was my thinking there for a bit. I got over that at the next party I went to..lol
I Know damn well that I'm Capable of turning on lovers, its just Me getting turned on, that's the delimma
*Sigh* Maybe its time to hit the Damiana again, or something...
Comments ladies. Have you ever had anything like this occure?
Discouraged Cat

[wolfcamp]

Women have VERY low sex drives and most women's sex drives will just flat out die and let's face it most bitches don't put out at all and are disgusted by sex.

That hasn't been my experience. Maybe it has more to do with you than them.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

[B]Oh Hurrah, the insignificant Troll is back. Wondered when you'd raise your impotant little head again..lol
And dood, couldnt you be a Little more creative with this latest name change ??? I mean geez, redundant or what!??[:bigrin:/B]

[Hephaestion]

Women have VERY low sex drives and most women's sex drives will just flat out die and let's face it most bitches don't put out at all and are disgusted by sex.

Hasn't been my experience either - agree with WolfCamp, probably more to do with you than them.

[frenchvikki]

Women have VERY low sex drives and most women's sex drives will just flat out die and let's face it most bitches don't put out at all and are disgusted by sex.

Far be it for me to suggest it, but have you ever thought that the reason you have found this out may have something to do with you? Sorry Wolfcamp if I am repeating your point but I think it needed repeating.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Now that the troll got his much needed attention, back to the matter at hand......

My issue is slightly different. I can get so turned on that you'd think I wet my self, but have been having trouble cumming, even with the vibrator. I feel really bad that Jill hasn't been able to make me cum with her fingers alone, actually I think she feels worse. I know the vibrators can desensitize the clit but come on ! We do usually have sex everyday, and lordy I love it. She gets off 3-4 times easy, and I can't even muster one little bitty orgasm, its like every couple of days. This isn't really a new problem, the fact that I can get off alone better , maybe because I've usually been alone I don't know. I should be having 3-4 big Os too . Im not nervous, im not uncomfortable, I am however impatient, and as much as I try and relax, still nadda. Her touch drives me insane , any ideas ?

Cat, obviously im the last one to give advice baby lol But I do hope you find your way thru your issue. Good luck sweetie !

[Bluebiyou]

Well, there is the equine theory, holding that when a breeder wants his mare to mate (aside from using light to usher the yearly fertility cycle), he just fills a little needle up with a testosterone derivative and injects it in her hindquarters. She will now even proposition a gelding by swinging her butt in his face.

But (no pun intended!), you get the .... point (pun intended!).
Via Rx controlled hormone therapy, or more natural exercise/diet... the hormones are the key.

[**Peg**]

cat.

YES

after all you've been through you are stressed out, TIRED out. you need recovery time, it's just that simple. hell woman you JUST moved.

AND

you are a spitfire, seemingly always on the go.... I jokingly say to friends: hope you fuck slower than you talk (work, type, drive, etc). you get the idea, right? You need to SLOW down, suck back and reload.....take your time. It'll come back.

being woman you need all your ducks in a row before the games begin huh? That's the way it works for me: clean house, dirty mind :bigrin:

seriously babe, take it easy on yourself ;)

that will be $125 hehe, I'm available for private consultations as required: payment in advance, cash only LOL

PS: a word of advice re your signature (QUOTE : I need to buy stock in Ever Ready Batteries..my Sexperation date has expired : END QUOTE)

GO ELECTRIC *wink*

signed: LOIL - BTDT

[TaylorMade]

Yup. . . I'm actually in that stage too.

I got an invite to spend this weekend with a woman in Key Largo.

Didn't go. Ordinarily, I'd of braved the drive and everything. But nope. Instead I went to the movies with my brother.

Sometimes it happens. We go into survival mode, where our bodies only care about getting it's next meal rather than getting it's next orgasm.

I'm taking it as a holiday, where I can see where I am going and what I really and truly need and desire.

*Taylor*

[Rambigent]

I would say give yourself a little time to breathe and relax...if you've just gone through a breakup and a move, even though they are positive transitions in your life, they can still create stress. Maybe you need a little "me" time before you make a physical & emotional connection with another person - and even a no-strings tumble with a cute guy or girl at a party requires SOME emotional connection for many of us. Maybe you just need a little time to reflect and do a little soul-searching before you get back in the game. If you're not experiencing any other physical or emotional issues, I wouldn't stress too much over this. It happens to many people at certain times of their lives...in my experience it's more common with women but I've had male friends who have experienced it too...

If you're really worried, you could mention this to your health care provider just to rule out hormonal changes or some other physical issue. But I think stressing too much over it isn't likely to bring your sexual urges back any sooner, and might end up making you feel less sexy.

[Mrs.F]

Oh yes, been there, done that and am doing it again! :(

I think alot of it is stress! My husband and I tried for years to conceive. We finally ended up in fertility treatments. Both of us on fertility drugs and told to have sex once a day for 7 days straight every month. Ok..yeah, it's fun to keep trying but NOT at that stress level. After a year's worth of 2 miscarriages, inseminations and being on the fertility drugs I finally had a sucessful pregnancy. Our son was born and I was so screwed up hormonally and then having to deal with a new born my libido got up and left and I didn't return for a VERY long time. We had many, many fights over my lack of intimacy and not wanting him and trust me..I felt ashamed and horrible. During all this I discovered that my husband was bisexual. I had apparently turned him away so much that his bi side reappeared. Then I was so afraid that I would lose him to a man...it was not a good time! My libido kicked in over fear of losing him. It soon calmed down and we started on this path of his fantasies and desires. I met a man on this site....who was just a friend trying to help me...no sex at all, just friendship. It's now been 3 yrs. and I have met and been with this man twice. My husband was so happy that I was doing this and was able to be with this man sexually. But now what's happened....I want this other man and am not turned on by my husband. I'm about ready to give up. I think I am very hormonally screwed up and my heart is being strangled.

So, yes, I know how you feel and even though we may not feel stressed, our bodies say differently. Just give yourself some time and a break and you will know when it's back. I wish you the best. Take care

Mrs.F :)

[frenchvikki]

I think it is an unfortunate and for some people inevitable consequence of being in a relationship where a third or fourth party becomes involved, that emotions will become involved, and that someone will end up very badly hurt.

Some people can have a very merry swinging lifestyle which is just what it purports to be, and partners can remain as in love with each other as they always have been, and even more so in some instances. They can bring in a third party and still remain as committed to each other as ever. This is not always possible however, as we are only human and for some the change in the relationship brings new emotions and feelings which they never envisaged, and consequences they certainly did not want. The need to explore our sexuality, whatever that sexuality may be, with others than our partner and the need for new experience often will not work out as had been dreamt. It will often bring the most awful pain, and the worst pain is more often than not brought to the one who it was that wished such a lifestyle in the first place, and persuaded their partner to go along with their wants and needs. Why this should be so is to some extent obvious, if to those concerned probably like a bolt from the blue. That is that deep down the new experience, which they did not want and did not ask for is a way to pay back for the hurt which they have had caused by their partner. It is probably much more complex than that but for many it must play its part. So when involving themselves with others outside of the relationship to which they are committed, brings a weakened sense of defence, and provide the conditions where they may be ready to have a new relationship, a more exciting one where they are able to once again assert a level of control over their lives. They fall in love and from that point on the previous relationship is in serious trouble. Newness is often more exciting in itself, and can be just what the doctor ordered. And so the original relationship breaks down and pain is caused where nothing but pleasure was intended.

I feel for you Mrs F. The end of your marriage is not inevitable but will take a great deal of healing if it is to be saved. It may be that things have gone to far now and deep down you do not really wish it to be saved, and your future is elsewhere. Only you can know that. What is inevitable is pain, and you are suffering and your husband must be. This is not a bisexual issue. It is a human one. Those of us who live the life must always be aware and on guard against the potential consequences.

I wish you all well, and hope that somehow you are able to resolve what is an awful position to find yourselves in with the minimum of hurt.

[csrakate]

Cat,
I think every woman goes through this a time or two....first of all..stop blaming yourself...the added pressure sure won't help you to relax and find that old libido again....

BUT..one thing I think we, as women, have to remember....The dreaded hormones!!! They can wreak havoc on the libido....depending on your age and where you are in life's "cycle"....but be rest assured that it has always seemed to be temporary....and if not....it's certainly something you can and should discuss with your doctor next time you visit....

But I do encourage you not to get discouraged....or think of it as a true "end"...but perhaps a bit of a break while you get your life and your situation back in order....and by all means...don't stop being who you are!! Having such an outgoing personality such as yours will keep those partners in the wings until such time as you're ready to "pounce" once more!! LOL!!

Hugs,
Kate