The Hamster Wheel of Interest

[dafydd]

gay guys are 'notoriously' bad with believing in the sincerity of bisexual guys (allegedly).
I don't expect this negotiation with women, gay or straight. I slept with a straight girl 2 nights ago. she balked at my tentative tales of gay guy sex. I didn't feel like explaining but had to to keep the hamster wheel of interest moving in order to have any chance of kissing her in the morning. “let’s be honest…etc etc.”
Anyone else experienced this strange balancing act of keeping 'em hooked but retaining at least a modicum of honesty?
I could have told her I was straight and I could have gotten away with it had it not been for the framed pics of Matt Leblanc in my bathroom.

Did she stay the night? At what point do you call it the next day? 4am, 5am, 6am,?

my question is .... pour forth or divert?
dafy:bibounce:

“yeah yeah dafydd, rehash of old topic. move on.” If you've heard all this before, check out the next thread.

[darkeyes]

gay guys are 'notoriously' bad with believing in the sincerity of bisexual guys (allegedly).
I don't expect this negotiation with women, gay or straight. I slept with a straight girl 2 nights ago. she balked at my tentative tales of gay guy sex. I didn't feel like explaining but had to to keep the hamster wheel of interest moving in order to have any chance of kissing her in the morning. “let’s be honest…etc etc.”
Anyone else experienced this strange balancing act of keeping 'em hooked but retaining at least a modicum of honesty?
I could have told her I was straight and I could have gotten away with it had it not been for the framed pics of Matt Leblanc in my bathroom.

Did she stay the night? At what point do you call it the next day? 4am, 5am, 6am,?

my question is .... pour forth or divert?
dafy:bibounce:

“yeah yeah dafydd, rehash of old topic. move on.” If you've heard all this before, check out the next thread.Am on er side Daffy hun.. jus surprised she stayed.. ok wivya admittin 2 havin relationships wiv men..but the tentative (an only u kno how tentative yas talkin bout) tales?? No ta.. wen me got off wiv ne 1 it aint ther history me wonts but me bein centre a attraction an given (an givin) a gud time.. me wudda buggered off ome... ya wudnta seen me for dust...

[kitten]

The delicate balance...

I have always been upfront from the get-go so that there is no misunderstanding. Yes, that has sorely limited my experience. But diverting just delays the inevitable - as in the example that Jude provided - and that can get nasty.
My :2cents: and what works for me.

Who cares what pics you have in your bathroom - I would still give you plenty of hugs!

kitten

[dafydd]

Hetero women are seriously bad about not accepting male bisexuality and if you think that gay men are bad you haven't seen how most hetero women react.

Here's the typical reaction of a straight woman when hearing about how a guy is bisexual:



Matt LeBlanc? Framed pics of him in your bathroom? People who think he's remotely hot? TV star worship?

You've got horrible taste in men, and I can see why she didn't sleep with you. Hell, even I wouldn't sleep with you.

I guess that's the point you missed. she wasn't sleeping with me for my taste in men. it wasn't the TYPE of man I went for that dismayed her, but the fact i went for men at all.

d

[dafydd]

Am on er side Daffy hun.. jus surprised she stayed.. ok wivya admittin 2 havin relationships wiv men..but the tentative (an only u kno how tentative yas talkin bout) tales?? No ta.. wen me got off wiv ne 1 it aint ther history me wonts but me bein centre a attraction an given (an givin) a gud time.. me wudda buggered off ome... ya wudnta seen me for dust...

"tentative", meaning she asked (despite my inner protestations). It wasn't *my* fascination that needed to be indulged but hers.

d

[Pearlindarkwater]

I guess being a bi woman I have a kind of similar problem in that a lot of lesbians aren't ok with the fact that I have sex with men (one man actually) :) I've always gone with kitten's approach and been honest up front, it may be the reason I haven't had much success in finding women, but I know when I do find one she will be ok with all of who I am, and that makes all the difference.

Hugz

[shameless agitator]

I'm with Pearl & Kitten on this one. I'm always up front about my orientation. This may mean I don't get laid as much, but it means anybody I get involved with is accepting of me & isn't going to have a problem with it.

[MarieDelta]

Better to let 'em know up front than to pussy foot around about it.

Because in the end, thats they only way you'll have of finding a compatible person. One that you dont have to make any confessions to later, or come out to after you have a large emotional investment.