If a bi-fem married a man,.....?

[DieSt]

If a bi-fem married a man, would she still have a relationship with a woman. If the guy did not object, how would she deal with emotional feelings for her husband and the other woman. Would she love him less. Would she have to budget her feelings between the two? I would like a married bifemale's reponse to this. thank you

[*pan*]

ahhh good question, but all depends on the indvidual, i am bi and my woman are straight, when i'm with a man i have sex make love ect... when with my woman i do the same, i will always love them, some people associate sex with love, i do not, sex is great but i marry a person for love. love is forever, thats why i think a lot of relationships don't last because people marry because of sexual attraction and when they find something or someone of more interest they tend to forget about the one they married. so sad, on thing is if you marry a bisexual woman you should accept the fact she might fall in love with her female partner but theres no reason why someone can't love more then one person. example- if you have 3 childern you love all three, and don't hane me any crap about well thats a different kind of love, thats society bullshit. love is love. and you can love more then one person. society conditions people to perform within their guidelines. thats what people don't understand about bisexuals. most gays are still conforming to society rules on monogomus relationships. most people can't handel one relationship let alone two or three and love them all equaly. like i said in the beginning of this rant it depends on the individual and their mate. of course this is just my :2cents: and take it for what it's worth. and as always peace and blessings to all >pan/|\

[Lisa (va)]

It all depends on the individuals within the relationship, some have intentions of monogamy, some have intentions of some 'sort' or arrangement that is acceptable to both within the relationship.

Don't mean to step on your toes, as this is but my own personal opinion: but I think there is a bif difference between the love you have for your child(ren) and that which you have for a spouse/partner. Just as there is a love you feel for family as well as friends. Though I do agree there is a difference between 'making love' and 'having sex' I do no see how one person (myself) can have the same 'in love' feeling towards more than one person (at least not equally).

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[innaminka]

C'est moi!

I am bisexual I am very happily married to a very str8 man, I have two lovely teenage daughters whom we love.
My husband is very aware of my active bisexuality, but we've come to terms with that over a number of reasonably strained years. Simply, it plays no part in our family life.

There are 2 problems coming however:
*A need to come out to my daughters (15, 17) who have their suspicions.
*A growing need in me for, something more, possibly, simply put, my lesbian "half" is getting way stronger, my hetero "half" is weakening.

I think every situation is unique, however, and there is no guide-book.

[RockGardener]

I am a bi female, in a long term relationship with a male. He is also bi. We love each other very much, and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. We both have sex with members of our own sex, but the relationship is not the same as we have with each other. I am capable of loving a woman just as much as I love him, but not while I love him. He says that he does not love men, he loves sex with men. So for both of us, we make love with each other, but we have sex with members of our own sex.

[DieSt]

Thankyou Rockgardener and Innaminka. I found your replies most helpful.

[someotherguy]

If a bi-fem married a man, would she still have a relationship with a woman. If the guy did not object, how would she deal with emotional feelings for her husband and the other woman. Would she love him less. Would she have to budget her feelings between the two? I would like a married bifemale's reponse to this. thank you

That would be a good situation for me. I would like to be in an open marriage kind of relationship, without the actual marriage. Share the bed at night, share the home, be in love, and she can go play with anyone she wants or even bring them home just as long as neither one of them blocks the TV. I probably wouldn't want to have other lovers because then she would get to feeling guilty and resent me for it and pick a fight and lose and that is how I like make up sex to go. I'd smack her rump and she would be happy again, for a while, absolved and cleansed anew. Life has its ups and downs.

[kitten]

My hubby of 27 years holds my heart. I have promised my life with him. He understands my needs and desires and I never hide anything from him. I have had other partners and there is an understanding with the partner from the get-go that he comes first - :rolleyes:

I also have teenage daughters that are unaware. One would get it, the other would not. But I figure just like our regular sex life as a married couple - it is none of their business at this point.

Good thread, thanks for asking...

[vittoria]

I'm in a relationship with a bi man ( we have talked about marriage quite seriously lately).. we havent given the topic much thought.. we are happy with each other, we love each other. We both have a sexual desire for those within our own genders, somewhat described as a 'friends with benefits' arrangement with them, which we find quite satisfactory:) Everyone's situation and personal need is different.:female:

[darkeyes]

Me did.. 4 years it lasted.. e wos nice, charmin, sexy, kind, generous, gentle, gud manners, a gud laff an not short of a few quid eitha wiv a big house an luffly stuff (wich is always nice but not b all an end all). Durin time we wer married me wonted for very lil.. had clothes shoes an stuff 2 die for an the werewithall 2 get more. Perfumerie wos neva a prob..no cheap Avon crap for Fran.. an no cheap imitation jewellery.That it didn last wos down 2 me makin 1 a me periodical rite bloomers in marryin im in 1st place an the need for me own sex.. But me wos in luff..an that makes ya do the mos daft things.. even did manage 2 suppress me sexuality for mosta the time we wer 2 getha.. e wos an old fashioned kinda guy an tho not a bigot didn expect is wife 2 b lookin round at otha women.. it cudn last an didn.. an the day e found out wos a relief an the day me got me marchin orders.. mayb if e had been a diff kinda guy it wudda worked but doubt it.. me biggest regret is how distraught an crestfallen e wos.. but it wos for the best an the way our lives hav panned out since thats been confirmed 2 me at least..

The day me "escaped" (or as me best m8 calls it "repatriated") got out wiv me clothes an shoes an stuff.. but Bri darlin..can me hav me jewellery bak??? Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:(

Its a cautionary tale.. if yas bi for Christs sake reely think bout gettin married if ya hubbie (or wife) 2 b aint.. ya mite think ya can stay faithful.. but so often me thinks we delude ourselves.. not sayin ya cant..jus sayin its bloody hard... cos ifya cant..the pain an suffrin is awful... Str8 cupples hav that 2. The prob of fidelity..but bi peeps wiv a str8 partner hav it worse...cos ther potentially so much more 2 fancy an b tempted by...

[still_shy]

I'm a bi married woman. My husband is 100% supportive of everything I do. He is straight and has no desire to stray outside our marriage. We both believe that it in no way reflects upon our love for each other, it only affects us adversely if we let it. I met a woman about three weeks ago and have since been dating her quite a bit. It hasn't been easy for him, but he handles it with grace and love. They are good friends and we keep the lines of communication open at all times between the three of us. The key here is honesty and openness. And hopefully with that, all will work out. If it doesn't, I love my husband to the depths of my being and would give up anything for him.

[Cesca]

Cant this be equally a question asked of any woman who is happily married or partnered to another woman, or turned on its head to include a relationship with a man? I have a woman partner and I believe I could cope quite easily with her having a relationship with a man or a woman. As she is gay the former is unlikely but not entirely impossible. I would not love her any the less as long as she was honest with me about it. I am confident and secure enough in our relationship not to feel threatened.

What would my feelings be towards this man or woman. I hope not jealousy, possibly attraction and even desire. I cant see any reason why I would have to budget my feelings between the two. My partner has all the love I can give her and whoever this mysterious unknown individual is would have to take what if any I have to offer. It is not inevitable that we would even meet, nor is it necessary.

But why does love have to enter in to it? Cant we just take it for what it most probably would be? An interraction between two adults which may involve love but is more likely just to be some pleasurable fun.

[DieSt]

Lets say 2 bi-women are in a relationship. Then one of them gets married to a man who loves women who love women. And he supports his wife to continue seeing woman lover. Is it possible for the relationship to work when the wife becomes the focus of attention for both the husband and her woman lover? Is it neccessary that there should be any emotional feelings between the woman lover and the husband when all three come to the same bed for threesomes? Is it possible for the woman lover and husband to not pleasure each other but to work in union to pleasure the wife? Sure, the husband and woman lover can be respectful, kind and affectionate to each other. But the object of sexual rendezvous must always be to seek the pleasures of the wife. I mean that while in bed, during 3somes, husband and woman lover give all their attention to the wife and not to each other!
I mean to ask, it this realistic to assume? Or at some point the husband and woman lover are bound to taste each other, with or without the wifes' knowledge???