bi-love-uality: are you bi-love-ual or bisexual?

[dafydd]

are people truly bisexual if they only want a fuck between the sexes?
is a straight man who has sex with a man, just super horny?
is a person more authentically bisexually if they are able to fall in *love* with both genders?
Is bisexuality about who you love or where you stick it?
Or is it both, or neither, maybe something more indefinable and personal and unique?
can we seek for a bi-love-uality?
are you bi-love-ual or bisexual?

d

[mindfinding]

are people truly bisexual if they only want a fuck between the sexes?
is a straight man who has sex with a man, just super horny?
is a person more authentically bisexually if they are able to fall in *love* with both genders?
Is bisexuality about who you love or where you stick it?
Or is it both, or neither, maybe something more indefinable and personal and unique?
can we seek for a bi-love-uality?
are you bi-love-ual or bisexual?

d

Very intelligent thoughts. I admire the train of thought here, though you need to answer the question first.

[dafydd]

Very intelligent thoughts. I admire the train of thought here, though you need to answer the question first.


i am bisexual. I could never fall in love with a woman, though I enjoy sex with them.
I am not bi-love-ual. biloveual.

d

[bithonglover]

A great topic. I consider myself bisexual as I am only into guys for sexual purposes. I don't think I could fall in love with a guy. I need that soft side of a woman for that. Cheers!

[salemhornyguy]

I guess I'd be classified as bisexual, as I love sexual contact between males but have no desire to kiss them or would never see myself in a relationship with a man. I need a woman for that stuff, however MM sex is hot!!

[sometimesitbethatway]

I love this topic. I consider myself bi-love-ual ha ha or however you say it. Surely I am attracted to both sexes, but in the end it's who the person is and who I fall in love with that matters to me. I've had a hard time explaining this to a lot of people in my life. The best way I can explain it to people is by using names. I used to be Laura-sexual and now I am definitely Michael-sexual. :) Glad to see this topic here :)

oh and PS for the sake of some of the people's comments here. I myself used to say I could never fall in love with a guy, that I was just attracted to looking at them and could only see a woman for a romantic setting. Now that it's happening to me, I can see how I was totally off. It's actually better than any love I've experienced in my life. But once again, I chalk it up to the person and not the gender, for what it's worth, :)

[shameless agitator]

I would be biloveual as well. I think I am more likely to fall in love with a woman, but I could definitely fall for a man. Hasn't happened yet, but I've come awfully close before realizing he wasn't who I thought he was.

[bijohnmpls]

In college I found myself in conflict on my sexuality. I found myself attracted to both men and women physically, but I couldn't find myself committed to a man (gay) or women (str8). I had sex with both men and women in college, but I still didn't know my identity since bisexuality was not well known.

After college, I dated men and women, but couldn't really find what I was really looking for until I meet a M/F couple. I met him first and had an instant connection to him.. that week I met his wife who was shy and immediately gained a connection with.. we would have dinner and drink together and it was amazing how we all got along so well together. We eventually ended up have a 3-some, which to this day was the best sex I have ever had. It was more than just sex, but a mutual connection of our beings.. unfortunately, our relationship separated.

Am I bisexual, or bi-love-ual? ... I think I am bisexual, but if the opportunity arises, I am Bi-love-ual.. I am an open-minded, free loving man that loves the embrace and love of both a man and a women.

I hope to find this type of love and companionship again.

[eddy10]

I believe love and sex are two different things. You can love someone deeply without sexual attraction. And, you can have great sex with someone without loving them.

The best of both is when you love someone deeply AND enjoy sex with them. A sort of Tantric union. Of course, Tantric sex is a whole separate subject we could explore.

I also believe the foregoing to be correct regardless of gender.

The root of the word biSEXual is sex.

[FerociousFeline]

I think I'm just sexual. I think I'm just loveyall.

This is just another method of reiterating previous statements.

For me, I can love most people. If I find I have difficulty in doing that, then I just haven't found what *I* personally, find loveable about that person.

Unfortunately, I am aware that I am somewhat more selective about who I wish to engage into sexual relations with than who I can offer love to.

For me, one is about spirit, one is about the animal within. Spirit is pretty open, but the animal within requires chemistry.

FF

[BicuriousWA]

are people truly bisexual if they only want a fuck between the sexes?
is a straight man who has sex with a man, just super horny?
is a person more authentically bisexually if they are able to fall in *love* with both genders?
Is bisexuality about who you love or where you stick it?
Or is it both, or neither, maybe something more indefinable and personal and unique?
can we seek for a bi-love-uality?
are you bi-love-ual or bisexual?

d


Very interesting points to ponder. Personally, I believe I am bisexual and could possibly fall in love with someone of either sex. I would have to say being bisexual is personal and undefinable. Being truly heterosexual or homosexual doesn't necessarily mean you can relate to the opposite or same sex on an intimate level. How can anyone really try to fit bisexuality into a nice neat narrowly defined package? Superficial people and committment phobes have no sexual orientation. That statement is not intended to be critical or patronizing. To me oral sex is more intimate than kissing but others surely view it differently. Kissing forces you to connect on a different level. People may be uncomfortable going to that level of intimacy or might shy away from having to examine themselves on a deeper level. Bilovuality is an interesting concept but is too narrow. Of course, I could just be acting pretentious and full of crap.

Bye-love-u-all :bipride:

[dafydd]

I believe love and sex are two different things. You can love someone deeply without sexual attraction. And, you can have great sex with someone without loving them.

The best of both is when you love someone deeply AND enjoy sex with them. A sort of Tantric union. Of course, Tantric sex is a whole separate subject we could explore.

I also believe the foregoing to be correct regardless of gender.

The root of the word biSEXual is sex.

The root word idea is interesting. For years human rights activists and those invested in equality have been campaigning for people to look further than the sex part. Sexuality is not often used in the equal rights lingo, sexual orientation is preferrabe, although not perfect. I like to think of sexuality as what you do, orientation about in which direction you point. Unfortunately bisexuals (not gay men or lesbians) have to mention the word sex to identify themselves (unless you just say bi). But being bisexual has nothing to do with what I do in bed. If I haven't slept with someone for 10 years (for example), I am still bisexual. It is the desire for companionship I find consistent.

d

[PolyLoveTriad]

Cool topic, but i so hate labeling myself as anything but simply me. I guess I would be both, because sexually, I'm attracted to both men and women. Emotionally I'm also attracted to both sexes. But there are times when I'm really horny and women drive me insane :) Sometimes its a woman who steals my heart and it has nothing to do with sex. So I could see it on both levels and just say.... I'm all of the above.

[goldenfinger]

I went outside to have a look, and all the JURY was still out there. Is a glass half full, or half empty. We will never know, because, NOBODY knows. Is it love, or is it lust.Which one would be more acceptable to the wider community. It's my understanding of the folks here, that lust wins. :2cents::2cents:

[allbimyself]

I believe the term would be "biamorous"

[dafydd]

actually my friend just told me today that the word bisexual was hijacked from its original meaning as someone who is of both sexes. bigendered.

[sprite]

I have to agree with AndYouMake3 - I have found that my attractions to people are when I get to know them - mentally, emotionally. Doesn't matter the sex. And I can be attracted physically to people and then want to get to know them.

[cutenbi]

I am Bisexual. Meaning i really enjoy sex with both sexes. I can't see myself in a "love" type relationship with a man. Just sweaty sucking licking juicy sex. mmm. I've only ever had "love" feelings with women in the past as well as animalistic sexual desires. With men it's just about the animal. Grrrrr.

[dafydd]

This was a pointless topic to have written about.

Enough with the labels dude. You're obsessed!

It's one thing if you're not heterosexual but to have to break it down even further into corny labels like biloveual, being 'sexual'/loveyall, or biamorous is just pointless nitpicking and putting people even further into a box/category, and putting them into categories that even further set them apart from other people and others of their own sexual orientation.

Also what was your point about a "straight" closet case having sex with another guy? We all know that real heterosexual men don't have sex with other men. Prison sex doesn't count and let's face it most people aren't in prison or aren't segregated by their gender that much.

For those of you who say that you can't fall in love with the same/opposite gender, what makes you so sure?

thanks for contributing and spending time on this pointless topic. you're right. let's talk about something more vital like eating cum or penis length or cream pies or fisting. and there's me thinking this is a site we could explore ourselves on.

d

[goldenfinger]

This was a pointless topic to have written about.

Enough with the labels dude. You're obsessed!

It's one thing if you're not heterosexual but to have to break it down even further into corny labels like biloveual, being 'sexual'/loveyall, or biamorous is just pointless nitpicking and putting people even further into a box/category, and putting them into categories that even further set them apart from other people and others of their own sexual orientation.

Also what was your point about a "straight" closet case having sex with another guy? We all know that real heterosexual men don't have sex with other men. Prison sex doesn't count and let's face it most people aren't in prison or aren't segregated by their gender that much.

For those of you who say that you can't fall in love with the same/opposite gender, what makes you so sure?

The problem with THIS website is, that not like many other website, this site has not got what others call "sticky" sorry for the pun, in other words FAQ, where people can find what they are looking for, without having to ask.And lets face it, most newcomers here is people looking answers to new found feelings, or stirred up from the past. As long as this site don't have a FAQ, the same questions will be asked over and over again. Deal with it. There is a few people here who knows it all, and I would like to know how they got to know it all, where did they get the information from to form their point of view.
Maybe you could start a more interesting tropic
I'm waiting.

[ziggybabie]

I'm bipolar.... YAYYYY!......FUCK YOU! :mad:

Oh wait. That's something different.

[matterinhand]

Definatly bisexual.
I don't even like most men. (I know thats an over-simplification, but its still true.)
But, good grief, I so need some cock fun at times.

[someotherguy]

I only get smarmy over women. With men it's all about the sex acts. I can fall in love with a woman standing behind her in the line at the check out at the grocery store. Especially if she has turned half way back and leans over unloading things from her cart showing me down her shirt. I love women who do that. I have sex with a woman, I pretty much fall in love with her. That's just how it goes. With gay sex romance never happens. It is about being horny and getting off. Women are super dangerous for that reason. It sucks falling in love with someone just because you had sex. Then there comes that awkward time trying to make it work when there is no real basis for a lasting relationship. With a guy you just get dressed and go do something else, no hassle, no muss, no fuss.

[kitten]

Me personally am biamourous and bisexual.
With consentual adults and proper protection - the more the merrier!
:tong:;)

[Mr. Magick]

I'm sort of torn about this question. I concider my myself simply a sexual being and try to avoid labels when possible. I did have feelings for a close friend when I was a teenager but not since then. I don't know how to answer. When I was young I was still caught up in the whole "I can't possibly be gay" thing and didn't realize I was in love with my friend until years after he was out of my life. The years between now and then has seen alot of gay sex but no real feelings for my lovers besides possible friendship. I don't know if I could ever fall for a man again or not.

[dickhand]

I guess I would fall into the bi sexual catagory . I loved my wife and loved making love to her in everyway . I love sex with men as well , however cuddling and kissing that sort of thing does nothing for me . I am certainly not straight nor gay . Perhaps the term should be just a sexual being . Love the one you're with , so to speak !

[dafydd]

I still agree with what I last wrote in this topic.

The idea that someone's bisexual vs corny categories like Biloveual or biamorous just further puts people into unneeded categories, alienates them from other people (even from other queers), it doesn't do a damn thing, and it's pointless.

You however would prefer to label people hypocrites and call them "hateful cunts" as you did in a recent post on whether lesbians want a penis.
Why don't you watch your own language before you berate people about theirs?

d

[csrakate]

Oh come on! Get off your high horse of morals and values! Like you yourself have never called someone else a cunt or used it to describe someone in even a friendly manner. :rolleyes:

You're from the UK! It's just a word, don't be so PC. Sorry I didn't know that you're such a saint!

I think it's funny that darkeyes can post hateful and mysandroginistic posts (ones that barely anyone can actually read, decipher, or cares to since they're full of BS and not worth the space they take up) about how "all penises stink" and how much she hates men/people who once were the male gender, yet once I type in the word cunt everyone flips out.

Yeah...you're right...you use your other identity to post about the "evil matriarchy"...it's Karma that writes about bull dykes and makes the most misogynistic comments!!! I mean....so what if you slip in words like "hateful cunt" now and then...isn't that what ALL the transgender male to females call a woman???

[still_shy]

While a month ago I would have said that I would never fall in love with a woman, I was only in it for the sex, I'm starting to change my opinion. I like to think of myself as "equal opportunity" <grin> Starting a more serious relationship with a woman, while married to the love of my life has been interesting. I have very strong feelings for her, it's not just about the sex. I don't think I'll call it love, just a mutual attachment. But, I also think that this is something that varies by person, some people are able to just have sex and not become attached to the person. Personally, I wish I were that way. I think it would make being bisexual a hell of a lot easier.

**grits her teeth and tries desperately to ignore the troll.

[krrptyc]

JudeQuinn;104683]
[QUOTE=The idea that someone's bisexual vs corny categories like Biloveual or biamorous just further puts people into unneeded categories, alienates them from other people (even from other queers), it doesn't do a damn thing, and it's pointless.[/QUOTE]

I disagree; I think it's in our DNA. We humans are namers, we invent names for things so we that we can say a sentence or two in a single word. In their profile on this site some may say, "I'm a bisexual male" instead of "I am a male who likes to have sex with both males and females but I want a loving intimate relationship with a woman." Another may say, "I'm a friendly Transwoman," instead of "I'm a person who generally likes to meet and socialize with other humans, who although was born a male, feels that they are truly a female trapped in a male body and lives as a female at least part of the time and who may, or may not have had breast implants but have not had my penis removed."

I also think it is in our DNA because we are social animals and join groups of other humans with similar interests. This often results in rivalry between groups such as with sports teams; political parties; and of course, anybody who disagrees with my opinion. As with most human endeavors, some of us take it way too far and come to the conclusion that if I like or love those who are in my group, then I must hate those who are not.

Back to the original topic, I am bisexual. I have had one very close male friend. I have never met anyone (including my wife) with whom I had as much in common. I enjoyed being with him and miss him a lot. However, the thought of cuddling up withy him in my arms and looking lovingly into his eyes…I’m torn between busting out laughing or gagging. On the other hand, had he pulled his dick out, I’d had sucked it.

[Lisa (va)]

First off I think everyone should define 'bisexual' in their terms (whatever they me be) as it is likely to mean different things to different folks. It's no more right or wrong to enjoy your bisexuality solely on a physical level than it is to love you partner regardless of their sex - it's an individual thing.

As far as some posts being redundant and useless. To some it may be, they are the ones who simply pass that particular post by, no need to post about it. If a post of any nature, not necessarily this one, helps even just one person to better understand their nature and life choices I think it's not useless.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[void()]

Not really concerned with being classed, lends to being made an object. However, the original questions sparked reflection.

I have loved men. I have loved women. I can love men. I can love women.

I can even love a man and a woman at the same time. I don't prefer merely sex for the sake of gratifying a biological need. I can admit though, sometimes that desire wrestles and attains control.

I am a human being. I need love and sex along with food and water.

Presently, I celebrated eight years of marriage with Anita. (Obviously not my wife's real name) Still love her, will continue loving her indefinitely. Now to find some Henry to complete the matching set. :)

"it's who the person is and who I fall in love with that matters to me." - sometimesitbethatway

Well said, indeed. Thanks. :)

[PlacentaJuan]

How does any of this actually matter at all?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I guess I'm weird..I'm a Bi-love-ya'll...lol
I am very Bi-Select, but I do love women. I am more adapt at sex with men and Do prefer it, but I do play with certain women on occasion. So I guess that does make me Bi-Love-ual too..lol
Cat:bigrin:

[happycooker52]

i love fucking a woman! i love sucking on her nipples, massaging her tits and making love to her holy of holies. Ilove eating her hot pussy and sliding in to her up and down till i cum. But, for a real hot experience playing with and sucking cock seems the ultimate. A cock stands out as a real sex organ. To lick it, suck it and play with it is a pure sexual experience. It gives you something to play with and hang on to. viva la diffrence!

[backslide]

On the original point, I have definitely thought about the love vs. sex question in regards to my sexuality. I'm interested in physical connections, and in making friends who understand our general orientation. But as for love for a guy, it just isn't there. I still say I'm bi, and I'm glad this thread was started to explore the topic. In fact, I've even had my sexuality questioned before by another member because I tried to clarify my views on sexual vs. physical vs. romantic attraction.
I had said that while there are certainly things about a man that I would find unattractive and a turn-off, and there are some ideal things that I would find a real turn-on, I just couldn't give a description of my dream guy --- what I find attractive. But swing the other way for half a second, and I could write a book about the many things I find attractive about women (and yes, I've fallen in "love" standing in a checkout line --- once today, in fact :bigrin:) Anyway, because I couldn't give a list of things that attracted me to a man, this member questioned how I could be bi. Needless to say, that line of communication came to an immediate end.
The point to my rambling is that here was someone who had grouped all of we bisexuals into a narrow description. He was so single-minded that he was questioning my orientation based on the manner in which I was attracted to a guy. The thing I've been most surprised by since coming here is how very different we all are. I used to work with individuals of diminished mental capacity, and I have great respect and understanding for the stigmas and damage that can come from labeling (and more often, mislabeling).
But trying to group everyone together and being afraid of creating new, descriptive terms is only denying that we are different, and it does as much damage. We could categorize people by their eye color or astrological sign. It wouldn't place any judgment or value on people (or serve any purpose), and anyone who did judge someone for that would be have to be so superficial that nobody would care what they said. So don't fear new terms or the morons who misuse them. If some new description helps like-minded people identify and find each other for companionship, then it serves a good purpose. After all, isn't that how a lot of us ended up on sites such as this?

[ThatSubliminalKid]

I guess I'm weird..I'm a Bi-love-ya'll...lol
I am very Bi-Select, but I do love women. I am more adapt at sex with men and Do prefer it, but I do play with certain women on occasion. So I guess that does make me Bi-Love-ual too..lol
Cat:bigrin:

What does it mean to be bi-select? I'd say that you're bisexual since you just want sex with women based on what you wrote.

As for myself I've never really thought about it this much and why does it somehow matter?

[ThatSubliminalKid]

This is rather pointless. It's just putting people into further categories and I hate the current ones as they are.

Not everyone fits into one category or in a single space on a chart/grid.

I hate it when people (even other bisexuals who put people into categories like these):
Jane has had sex with both men and women but she only falls in love with men and has had more male partners so she's more heterosexual.

Mike has had more male sex partners while still being sexually attracted to women and having sex with women, yet he only falls in love with men so he's more homosexual.

Javier has had sex with an equal number of male/female partners and he can fall in love with both men and women, so he's the most "bisexual" out of all of them.

[prettyboytomato]

This is rather pointless. It's just putting people into further categories and I hate the current ones as they are.


Maybe so, but labels aside, I think the the underlying theme in this thread is a discussion what makes up the bi-spectrum or what bi means to one another. I think that's important.

[csrakate]

This is rather pointless. It's just putting people into further categories and I hate the current ones as they are.


While your argument sounds incredibly familiar....(deja vu...pg. one)...no thread is pointless when it is posted by someone who has a sincere wish to learn how others feel. I do believe that is the point of the forums...to share and to learn...not to criticize.

[**Peg**]

........The best of both is when you love someone deeply AND enjoy sex with them. A sort of Tantric union. Of course, Tantric sex is a whole separate subject we could explore.

am all ears eddy :bigrin:

[dafydd]

While your argument sounds incredibly familiar....(deja vu...pg. one)...no thread is pointless when it is posted by someone who has a sincere wish to learn how others feel. I do believe that is the point of the forums...to share and to learn...not to criticize.

Yes thanks, and it wasn't about putting people into labels. anyone who has read any of my previous posts would know that I don't like to pigeonhole people. It was just a thought i had one day, trying to reconcile the fact that really I don't think I could love a woman, even though i was sexually attracted to them. also i work with people who are very not keen on the inclusion of the sex word in any attempt to describe orientation and so i thought maybe of suggesting an alternative way of tackling the lingo.

d

[nathantiffany]

Here's my thoughts on this:

Bisexuality is more of a "where you stick it" kind of situation in my mind... my reasoning for that is this: I belive that sexuallity is something that we choose, while love is something that happens to us... I don't belive we choose who we love, that over time love just happens. IF you are bisexual however, loving one of the same sex is more likly to happen because your MIND is open to that thought, while one is straight the thought of loving someone of the same sex is something very forign... It is known to happen that someone straight becomes infatuated with someone of the same sex thus changing their point of view which then changes their sexual standpoint. Now that I butchered my mind to pieces, there is what my mind says to me it is. :D

[dafydd]

Here's my thoughts on this:

Bisexuality is more of a "where you stick it" kind of situation in my mind... my reasoning for that is this: I belive that sexuallity is something that we choose, while love is something that happens to us... I don't belive we choose who we love, that over time love just happens. IF you are bisexual however, loving one of the same sex is more likly to happen because your MIND is open to that thought, while one is straight the thought of loving someone of the same sex is something very forign... It is known to happen that someone straight becomes infatuated with someone of the same sex thus changing their point of view which then changes their sexual standpoint. Now that I butchered my mind to pieces, there is what my mind says to me it is. :D

I disagree. I don't choose who i get hard for. I don't make a conscious descision to NOT find that busty blonde on the bus attractive. I am hardwired to, 9 times out of 10, fantasise about guys. Love and SEXuality are two different things, but either way I have no say over the matter. I don't choose who i find attractive. Anyway, thanks for your comments.

d

[BreeIsMe]

I guess I look at it like this:

If a heterosexual person has sex with many people of the opposite sex but hasn't found the right person to "fall in love with" yet, does that make him/her NOT heterosexual

similarly:
If a gay person has sex with many people of the same sex but hasn't been in a committed or loving relationship, does that make him/her NOT gay?

bisexuals are no different than everyone else, they can be physically attracted to both sexes but may not fall in love unless they meet the right "people" but not being in love dosn't make them any less "bisexual"


Bree

[dafydd]

[QUOTE=BreeIsMe;106375]I guess I look at it like this:

If a heterosexual person has sex with many people of the opposite sex but hasn't found the right person to "fall in love with" yet, does that make him/her NOT heterosexual

similarly:
If a gay person has sex with many people of the same sex but hasn't been in a committed or loving relationship, does that make him/her NOT gay?

bisexuals are no different than everyone else, they can be physically attracted to both sexes but may not fall in love unless they meet the right "people" but not being in love dosn't make them any less "bisexual"



It's not about whether you are or are not in love, or have ever been, with either genders. i was looking at it like, I know I could never fall in love with a woman.

[*pan*]

i am bisexual love sex with woman and men as for falling in love i ahve 2 wives that i love dearly and only wish i could find the right guy to fall in love with. :female::male: