Dear Santa Letters

[RebekaLee]

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your
older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa
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Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and
joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa
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Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please! see what you can do?

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa
__________________________________________________ ________________
Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tub.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll set you up
with a Barbie.

Santa
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Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa
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Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most
of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly
and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa
__________________________________________________ ______________
Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever
you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa
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Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa
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Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams!

Santa

[arana]

Wow Bekka, Santa's brutal. No wonder he skipped me so much. lol :tong:

[m.in.heels&hose]

Sheesh
Santa seems to be in a foul mood this year
i wonder if i upset him the year i asked for his list of naughty girls


m.in.heels&hose :cool:

[Iowabiguy]

I was hoping for some Christmas CHEER! After the first couple it just seemed horribly brutal. OK, maybe I need to lighten up but this just seemed over the top.

[chook]

I know why Santa has a case of the screaming shits.................Its because he only cums once a year and then its only down a chimney.....poor bastard


Ho Ho Fucking Ho Merry Christmas everyone :santa:




:santa: Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[arana]

If you'd like to write Santa or read some emails to him like:

Are there like any really cute elves at the North Pole? My older sister wants to know!!!! -

My dad got abelly like Santa, round and fat and wobbles like a jelly -

Where do you buy nose polish for Rudolph's nose? I'd like to get some too and try it. -

If you can bring me a brother or sister, it doesn't matter what they look like, or what colour they are, or how old they are, (Just not real old, like 60 yrs old)someone who likes to play soccer and basketball with me. And if you bring me a baby sister, then she can share my room, and I will take care of her always, I promise. Thanks Santa -

Go to: http://www.emailsanta.com/

:tong:

[csrakate]

Now I understand why I always left Bourbon and water for Santa at my house as a child...

Hugs,
Kate

[codybear3]

After reading some of Santas replys, I thought I'd let him know that I will be having deer meat this Christmas....Starting with Rudolf.... :bigrin: :paw: :paw:

[RebekaLee]

never tried deer meat....can i come?? haha and good one chook! lol

[wanderingrichard]

aaaaahhhh holiday satire... and he can leave me a bottle of dewar's for a gift

[rupertbare]

A definition of Christmas:
The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.

What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane!

What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
Because he didn't want to be recognised!

What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!

And want I want for Christmas is........
I not saying!!!!!

Love and Peace from London, England

Rupe ;)

[arana]

Would this Santa bring me a sybian for Christmas??? :tong: