What did your parents say?

[Papelucho]

My parents have always avoided talking about sex, or sexuality.

They have provided me with so much in this life, much more than I will ever know...but there was never comfort around this subject area.

It was difficult to come out to my parents, and they did not know what to say when I did, which was fine. I did most of the talking anyway.
Their reaction afterwards was interesting.

There was talk of me seeing a psychiatrist, because I was depressed overall in my life (but it was the mention of the word "bisexual" that started the counseling ball a rolling). Also my father told me to "Be careful."

But here's the funny part:

After I came out to my parents, my mother spent the next week emailing me about pickles. Actual cucumbers in vinegar. She was encouraging me to make them, because I had planned on it, but then didn't. She became rather obsessed with pickles after she knew I was bisexual.

My father took me out for hot dogs.

I love my family, and can't wait until we're comfortable enough talking about sexuality that I can bring the humor of this situation up to them.

So how did your parents react?

-Papelucho
:three:

[bisexualman]

Well, it is a little late to sit down with the parents. They died several years ago. I am pretty sure my mother would have said, "Are you sure?, As long as your happy. . . (long pause). I won't repeat what my father would probably say.

However, I will probably be facing my siblings soon so I am really interested in reactions that people have had. So far my wife, (who has always known), and a few select friends that are either in the gay community or are open about their views have been told. All my coming out has been to very safe people.

Also would like to hear some views on how conversations have been started, what people said, how they decided it was time, etc.

[Bi_Druid]

My dad went a bit nuts, but that was considering the manner in which he found out, off of a third party. He and my mother weren't really that shocked by it, as such, if anything they kinda already knew long before even I had come to terms with it in myself. They were upset that it took someone else to confirm it to them before I summoned up the balls to do it myself. My father was also naturally over concerned about the 'indecisiveness' of being bi, the 'not being able to choose' image that alas we seem to put across to some. That and of course the worries of STDs and such like. One thing I can assure them is that I am strictest safe sex only, regardless of gender. But I guess that's just parents worrying about their kids really.

Fortunately, my parents were understanding about why I had 'put off' the whole coming out confirmation thing to them. My mother is very good at taking a level headed sideways approach to such things, and is able to calm my fathers somewhat impulsive emotional reactions when he feels his pride is hurt or his family slighted in any way.

After about a month or two, all sins were forgiven, and everything was back to normal. My father still seems to be getting used to the idea that I am bi, I like both sexes, not gay, but although he is making a valiant effort always, he is still rather old fashioned at heart in such matters.

As for my brothers and my sister, all younger, they just seemed to take it all in their stride. It was of no shock or upset to them at all. If anything, I think they probably all knew too before I did.

If anything, I do feel rather upset at myself, and pretty rotten really, for not saying something lots sooner myself to them. If I had, I'm sure they would probably have just said "yeah, like we didn't know" and thought nothing more of it.

Now, barely a mention of it really. They as easily accept and ignore it as easily as you do the natural colour of someone's hair that you've known for years. What I'm trying to say is, it's of no consequence to them who I share my bed with. It's no big deal. I am their son, and I am my siblings oldest Brother, and that is all that has ever mattered. They know that I am still the same person I was before that small and silly unfortunate hic-up.

I feel very fortunate to have such an accepting family.

[shameless agitator]

My folks were great. My older brother & I wound up coming out to each other at the same time. Mom's only reaction was "so it's official huh?" I think my little brother's reaction summed it up pretty well. At first he didn't react at all, so I had to make sure he actually understood what I was telling him. Then he said "I don't care. You're my brother and I love you". The only exception is my sister, who said pretty much said the same thing, but still (not so) secretly hopes I'll find a nice girl to settle down with & stop living such a sinful lifestyle. She's a devout Mormon.

[csrakate]

After I came out to my parents, my mother spent the next week emailing me about pickles. Actual cucumbers in vinegar. She was encouraging me to make them, because I had planned on it, but then didn't. She became rather obsessed with pickles after she knew I was bisexual.

My father took me out for hot dogs.

I love my family, and can't wait until we're comfortable enough talking about sexuality that I can bring the humor of this situation up to them.

So how did your parents react?

-Papelucho
:three:

You gotta love parents! But I had to laugh...OMG...was this their attempt at some sort of "aversion therapy"? or a very quaint way of showing their acceptance and support? LOL.......but hopefully you will be able to look back on this and share the very humorous aspect of it all....I had to laugh along with you...it was really quite funny!

As a parent of two adult males, I can assure you that they only wish the best for you and all they really want deep down is for you to be happy...give them time....sounds like you are on your way to gaining their acceptance and understanding. You've gotten the most difficult part taken care of. But one word of caution...many parents aren't all that comfortable knowing about the sex life of their kids to begin with, so tread lightly with how much you share with them in the future. I know that I have bristled in the past when my boys chose to see if they could shock me...and I do know that the more I reacted, the more they wanted to push my buttons. LOL! Do yourself a favor and adopt the "less is more" approach LOL!

Good luck to you!

Hugs,
Kate

[BiphobiaFighter]

My mum just said an "as long as you're happy" type thing.

I was going to tell my dad last year and it's funny that everything he was talking about immediately before I was going to do it was easy to direct the conversation into bisexuality. It was almost like he was going to come out to me! There was an interruption so I didn't end up telling him and there have been a series of stressful things happening to him and I don't want to contribute to it in case he happens to react badly (he probably won't).

[PolyLoveTriad]

Im 39 yrs old and still havent told my parents. Theres only one person in my family who even knows and thats only because she is a lesbian.

I dont think my parents would totally freak out or anything, its simply none of their business really. My dad would make some type of joke about it, or say nothing at all. My mom would say "Oh my god", make a face with a weird sound like a cat hacking a fur ball up and then say "I love you anyways".

But, some things are just better off left unsaid :)

[darkeyes]

Me parents raised us 2 b who an wot we want 2 b..not who an wot the world thinks we shud b.. if only more did jus that then wot a happier place the world wud b...

[Lisa (va)]

I think I have some of the greatest parents around. I went to my mom when I was about 17, confused, thinking I might be a lesbian. I wasn't at all sure what to expect, but so pleasantly suprised she gave me sound advice "follow your heart"

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[Ninnian]

My folks knew I was a Pagan long ago.. they took that pretty well, and I gues sthats becuase I was just weird enough growingup trhat it didnt shock them. I told them becuase it affected how I bring up thier grandchild.
I havent any intention of telling my Mom (dad is deceased) what I do in my bedroom. I dont find it to be any of her beezwax. I didnt want to hear from her that my Dad was able to "get it up" again at 72 (Omigosh... I was looking for exits to teh room!)... I sure as HELL don't wanna hear the conversation of My bedroom habits. ICK!

Nin

[Cesca]

My mother does not want to know me now. I am an evil perversion of Satan and am damned. Her Roman Catholic religious beliefs allow her no latitude and she is very unforgiving. My parents are a mixed marriage of Catholic and Presbyterian. I thank heaven my father retains contact and loves me now as much as he ever has but it breaks my heart when I think of the strife which my sexuality has caused in my family and the trouble I know which exists between my father and mother. Hopefully time will be a great healer but I am not optimistic. If there is a Father in heaven which I very much doubt maybe He will lend a helping hand.

[SecretlyHurt21]

I am 21 years old and I first told my mom that I was a lesbian in the 7th grade. She looked at me and then said you have to be going through a phase because there is no way you could possibly be lesbian. The reaction I thought I was going to get was wtf are thinking no child of mind should be a lesbian. It just turned out to be something that I thought would turn out a lot differently.

About 4 years later I was in the 12th grade and I thought that I was really in love and that I would spend the rest of my life with my first love but of course we all know that the first woman/man we fall in love with isn't going to be the one you spend the rest of your life with, well in most occassions. Anyways I finally told my mama and she left work so upset that she didn't even want to stay. I felt bad for a really long time thinking that maybe I shouldn't have told her so soon or maybe I shouldn't be a lesbian. I never in my life while growing up liked to see my mother cry so this not only hurt her it really put me in a tough spot.

2 hours had gone by and I finally started coming to my senses when suddenly I thought to myself I love who I am and how I am, and if I don't start letting my mother know how I feel now were never going to have a relationship. I walked to my mom and I told her mama whether you except me or not I'm living for me not you and I have to make sure I'm happy also. She had a real messed up look on her face but here I am 3 years later and she has learned to except the fact that I'm gay. We aren't currently talking now because of my current lover but thats an entire diffrent story....


What did your parents say?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL I think its a parents mental image of a man going down on their little boy that makes them have that Ewwwww! factor in their minds...lol Face it loves..most perents are traditional and altho they want the best for their sons, they secretly want the to do like Shameless stated, they want him to find a 'nice' girl..ect ect. lol
My youngest daughter knows that I am Bi, but my oldest girl would have a Moose..so to speak. My boys dont know, but had always looked at me funny when ladies would cuddle up to me or show attention or affection towards me. So with them it might be an ewww factor too,,who knows..lol.
If you have cool parents that only care about your welefare and happiness, then that is a very great thing. I'd tell one of my kids the same thing, and did... in case one of all of them might be Bi. :}
Cat

[The Barefoot Contess]

My parents and I have never talked about sexuality, so I see no reason to tell them. It's really not their business. If it comes up in a conversation, fine, I will not avoid the topic or anything, but I don't see the need to have a "talk" with them specifically to discuss my sexuality when sex has always been a taboo topic.

I don't need their acceptance, and I don't need to break their hearts (I know they would not understand) and create unnecessary family tension (there is enough as things are now) for me to feel "myself".

On the other hand, my best friend, who is gay, came out to his parents knowing that his dad would not be understanding at all. But instead of getting angry at his dad's reaction ("this can be treated"), my friend took the time to educate his parents, and they both feel much more comfortable with the whole idea of homosexuality/bisexuality now.

[darkeyes]

My youngest daughter knows that I am Bi, but my oldest girl would have a Moose..so to speak. Cat

Wich kinda moose Cat??? Hope its 1a the lil furry 1s wich cats like 2 chase an munch on...havin 1 wiv them big antler thingies sounds scary!!!!:eek::tong:

[DGoncz]

I think I have some of the greatest parents around. I went to my mom when I was about 17, confused, thinking I might be a lesbian. I wasn't at all sure what to expect, but so pleasantly suprised she gave me sound advice "follow your heart"

Lisa

hugs n kisses

Mine said the same thing! Adoptive parents who were never saddled with the guilt of creating me and all my needs, but who chose to love me and nurture me. Great people; Mom lives still.