A new guy in town...

[nightwatcher]

Hello All,

I am a new member in this community.

I have realised my bisexual nature only like a month ago. A friend told me he was gay. And that led me to scrutinise my feelings closely. I was alarmed to recall that I felt wierd whenever I was with another friend of mine. He was the cutest guy I ever saw. That was the turning point (however cliched) of my life. I have only felt that way towards a few guys, with that feeling occuring infrequently.

I am not sure if I am really bisexual or if it is just a passing phase in my current state of loneliness.

It has been really confusing time for me. It's like living without an identity.

Can anyone please help?

[rayosytruenos]

Hello All,

I am a new member in this community.

I have realised my bisexual nature only like a month ago. [...]
Can anyone please help?

Hi and welcome!!!

Well, although I hate labels, if it is easier for you to handle, I am going to give you a few hints... :rolleyes:

Most guys masturbate.

If you masturbate just over girls, you probably are heterosexual.
If you masturbate just over guys, you probably are homosexual.
If you masturbate over both, either girls or blokes, you probably are bisexual.

After saying that, I want to point out that you can use that as a guideline, but it's not definitive. I see sexuality going from one point to another from time to time... I consider myself as bisexual, liking sometimes girls more than guys, sometimes guys more than girls, and some other times roughly similarly both of them.

Do what you feel better with. If you want to try, try and see how it feels. The only way to find your true self is to experiment till you find what you were looking for, ultimately your happiness.

Forget about labels and just do what it feels right to you. I know that being from Asia (you don't say exactly where from), it could be difficult, as not all the countries are equally permisive with sexual freedom, so I hope you act with some common sense, (but at least forget about labels in your mind). If you like girls, congratulations; if you like boys, congratulations; if you like both, you are fucking greedy (just joking... :bigrin: )... If you like both, congratulations and you've come :rolleyes: to the right site.

All the best,

ray :male:

[scubaman]

Very sound advice! Believe it or not, basically that was the method I used and seems to be pretty much right on. Be willing to experiment and go with what brings you the most pleasure. Life is too short to be wondering, enjoy life and all the pleasures it brings.

Good Luck :tongue:

[nightwatcher]

Yo Ray and Scuba,

Thanks for the quick reply!

It has been a lonely time, too much time wasted.

I'm glad to have been here, reading your replies. It's the most comforting sign of acceptance that I've ever received. It's a very nice experience. :)

I hope to discover myself more and find the one I truly love one day. And one day, to lend a hand to those who may be as lost as myself.

Thanks and God bless!

[JohnnyV]

Do a visualization exercise. Pretend that tomorrow you will wake up and the words "gay" "straight" and "bi" don't exist. You are a person going about your usual business, allowing sexual desire to take hold when and where it does. Each time you feel the desire, you have to decide whether it's feasible or right to reveal it to the person you admire. When you come across someone who might be attracted to you too, you reveal it and see what happens....

If you feel things only with women, only with men, or a little bit of both, what matters is the specifics of _which_ woman, _which_ man, or _which little bit of both_. Stay in the world of the specific and avoid generalizations about yourself (as well as about others.)

I hope all goes well for you.

J

[OralBradley]

Hello All,

I am not sure if I am really bisexual or if it is just a passing phase in my current state of loneliness.
It has been really confusing time for me. It's like living without an identity.

Can anyone please help?

:flag1: :male: I went through a similar period when I was coming out to myself as bisexual. Over the years I had sex with partners of both sexes and often felt the confusion you express. To a psycologist I was "passing thout a phase," but the a gay hot-line I call I was "exploiting" gay men for sexual pleasure. Eventually, I decided that I am what I am, and that is okay!
There are still stresses, but I no longer feel guilty about myself.