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perroso
Apr 27, 2005, 1:02 AM
Hi, looking for some advice.

I would like my wife to become bisexual. Do not know how I can introduce her to that experience.

I have initiate her in seeing lesbian porn, masturbating and licking her fingers, licking her panties and high heels, licking vibrator full of her juices and licking her own nipples. She does all these, but I feel mostly because she knows these turn me on.

Do not know what next steps take and really would like to understand female thoughts about this (bisexual initiation) or if any of you guys had similar situations.

Any advice will be really appreciated.

softfruit
Apr 27, 2005, 4:15 AM
Y'know how wound up everyone on here would get if some eejits came on the board and started telling us how we could be cured of our same-sex attraction? It cuts both ways that one; we are bi and that's that; if she's straight, she's straight, she won't suddenly develop a taste (no pun intended) for women.

You evidently have a partner who is happy to indulge all manner of kinks for you. She might even go for having a woman join you in bed (or a man ;) ) but it sounds like for her this is about her and you and what gets you both off.

TrimBeardHairyBod
Apr 27, 2005, 5:31 AM
As an impartial, disinterested observer, I would urge you to look at yourself, Perroso. Reflect on why you are so intent on making your wife bi. Ponder the question of why you have this need to control her.

julie
Apr 27, 2005, 6:15 AM
Hey Verosso,

You have got one hot lady there who loves to turn you on. I'm with soft fruit and trim, just enjoy who you've got, she sounds amazing :)

love julie xx

julie
Apr 27, 2005, 6:16 AM
oops sorry, Perrosso (giggle)

Brian
Apr 27, 2005, 8:35 AM
I concur with everyone else. You can't turn a person bisexual.

I think what you want is to view your wife in bed with another woman. Asking bisexual women for their advice on how to do this is, uhm, how do I put this diplomatically, well, it seems a little insulting to bisexual women to me. There I said it. Sorry. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way towards bi women, but that is how I think it came across.

Your wife seems eager to indulge your fantasies. I think indulging each others fantasies is part of a loving relationship. But not all fantasies can be indulged by all partners; we all have our turn-ons and our turn-offs.

You should talk to your wife about this.

And keep in mind that ACTING bisexual during a sex game/fantasy to indulge the partner is not the same as BEING bisexual. There is sex play and there is real life. I might play a cock-craving, pussy-obsessed bi man in bed, but... okay bad example. ;)

That is my 2 cents :2cents:

- Drew :paw:

BIGIRLONLINE
Apr 28, 2005, 11:44 AM
And keep in mind that ACTING bisexual during a sex game/fantasy to indulge the partner is not the same as BEING bisexual

I agree... take it from a bi-sexual female.... We want to be with women who want to be with us. Not because they are into what their husband or boyfriend wants. I have been in that awkward situation where she feels uncomfortable and its written all over her and he was so into the idea of it that he completely overlooked how she was feeling.
The road from straight to gay has many different shades, possibilities and variations. Does your wife indicate at all that she too has fantasies of another woman? Perhaps her definition and yours are not quite the same. I urge you not to push her into something she may not be into. She may resent you for this later. Ask her what she wants- and explore only that for now. Always ask her if she is ok with what you are doing- her feelings matter the most here... don't think with the wrong head here! Let me know if I can help :)

foreverbisexy
Apr 28, 2005, 11:56 AM
Well, when I first read this post I was like "what the hell!" then I read the replys and nothing further needs to be said... Thanks Drew and everyone for keeping it real! :)

foreverbisexy~

sesquipedalis
Apr 28, 2005, 2:39 PM
I concur with everyone else. You can't turn a person bisexual.

I think you can, but you shouldn't. A year ago I was not bi. I am now. I could probably pick out some of my influences, point to them and say, "Yeah, over time this probably caused me to be bi". I don't feel as though I've always been this way and just discovered it; I see it as something I've recently decided I like.

In the future I may change again; who knows. I'm OK with that and I don't think something like this must be a constant thing about a person in order to be validated. The only constant in life is change.

However, to deliberately manipulate someone else on such a fundamental level is, in my opinion, extremely unethical. You should stop and examine your motives, Perroso; they seem very selfish. You want to have sex with two women at once? Fine, but you should talk to your wife honestly about it instead of resorting to brainwashing. You should establish where her limits are and not pressure her to go beyond them. How would you feel if she tried to manipulate you into having sex with somebody you didn't want to? It isn't fair of you to do the same thing to her.

bigregory
Apr 28, 2005, 10:21 PM
ok perroso , i think i undestand you question.
there is only 1 way to (turn) your girl bi.
you sit down with her and ask her if she would like to try it..
its a yes or a no.
it is the most important thing in a relation to be able to ask questions just like these.
i found that if you ask you may get what you want

bigregory :flag2:

perroso
Apr 28, 2005, 11:53 PM
First, want to apologize to bisexual women who could find my first post insultating. Never talked (wrote) about this topic, sorry if I did not expose my dilemma properly. I was specially expecting advice from bisexual women (appreciate other posts also), in some topics it is (for me) always a challenge to understand the female point of view. Keep learning and appreciate your answers.

Got the point, I could discover she likes women also but cannot ¨make¨ her bisexual. As usual, the best way to do that is the obvious: ask her. Not an easy task (even we share almost all our thoughs) but will figure out how to do it.

Guess a bisexual role game would be a more real possibility in our case, thanks for the idea... understood the difference Drew.

Thanks for your posts!!

seniorguy
Apr 29, 2005, 9:10 AM
I concur with everyone else. You can't turn a person bisexual.

And keep in mind that ACTING bisexual during a sex game/fantasy to indulge the partner is not the same as BEING bisexual. There is sex play and there is real life. I might play a cock-craving, pussy-obsessed bi man in bed, but... okay bad example. ;)

That is my 2 cents :2cents:

- Drew :paw:

Drew, I really never thought about that before; frankly maybe it explains my personal feelings. Something to ponder!!!!!!!!!

perroso
Apr 30, 2005, 2:06 PM
In case we got in a role playing situation, I will make everybody involved to understand what is going on and be sure everybody feels comfortable and enjoy the situation.

This is the less I can do for a kindly community as you are.

I have been in many online "communities" where an initial not very well written post is just attacked, you made your point and did advice. Thanks, won my respect.

gayle
May 2, 2005, 6:16 PM
Perroso,
Take the advice of the others here. You cannot make your wife bisexual. Either she is or she isn't. You wouldn't ask her to become str8 if she were bi or gay, would you? It appears that she respects your sexuality and your sexual identification. The least you can do is respect hers. She is a str8, adventurous female. Instead of boo-hooing that she isn't interested in other women, you should be ecstatic that she is interested in YOU! It seems she is doing a heck of a lot to please you in the bedroom. Do the same for her!

If what you really want is a f/f/m encounter, then ask her if she'd be willing to go along for the ride. Stop making this an issue of sexual identity (gay, bi, str8) and make this what it is --- about fulfilling a sexual fantasy. She sounds like she's pretty open minded and she might be willing to indulge this fantasy. If she isn't interested in it though, then you should just let it go. What's more important to you? Fulfilling that one fantasy or having what sounds like a currently very satisfying love life and having it continue? If you push her into doing something she doesn't want to do, she may stop indulging your other fantasies. You stand to lose in so many ways if you force her into this!

I am a str8 female and I can tell you, that I have not been thrilled that my bi partner wants to insist that I am "bi-curious" or that I could be "bi." We finally had a big discussion about it this weekend and he agreed that he could live without us doing the f/f/m encounter that so interests him. I've agreed we can continue the m/m/f on an occasional basis. We otherwise have a monogamous relationship, and the m/m/f is with BOTH of us there & consenting to it. Neither of us (or the other party) is coerced.

I agree with the bi woman who said she found it insulting that you would try to change your wife's sexuality. It IS insulting! I'm str8 and have no desire to change my sexual identity. Also understand that how we identify ourselves sexually is a BIG issue as it affects our entire personality, the foundation of who we are. Acceptance of one another's sexuality is very important. As I said earlier, you wouldn't try to make a gay woman or bi woman str8 so you shouldn't try to make a str8 woman gay or bi. Respect your wife for who she is. Give thanks for her adventurous spirit and respect her wishes!

Ratchick
May 2, 2005, 7:18 PM
Personally, I think the original poster needs to understand what being bisexual is about.
I think there are a lot of misguided men out there who think they can 'turn" thier partners Bisexual to spice-up thier sex lives.
Bisexuality is not something you are MADE into.
It took me many, many years to figure out who I am....no one "trained" me into it.
I am kinda of insulted by the thoguht that he thinks he can train his wife to be Bisexual.
Besides, What if she likes it "Too much" . (Hee hee, sorry) ;)

RC

perroso
May 2, 2005, 11:05 PM
Hi people,

Once again, I want to apologize everybody for my first post, it was that way because: I was totally ignorant on what bisexuality is and was getting a little obsessed with my f/f/m fantasy.

This topics are not easy to be discussed with a friend, even with my wife ... so really appreciate all the insight and valuable comments you give in these Forums, I am understanding a little bit better bisexuality (reading other posts also) and definitively I am being able to separate fantasy from sexual identity.

Thanks for all good comments about my wife, indeed she is superb. Believe me or not: I love and respect she a lot. By the way, my fantasy about f/f/m has been ALWAYS with my wife included. So, I will talked with her and see if we BOTH feel good with the idea ... otherwise it will keep being just a fantasy.

You have been a very good group to discuss this point and help me understand. Thanks a lot on behalf of my marriage. :)

Curious2knowmore
May 6, 2005, 12:30 AM
Now the truth comes to the surface. This is all one of your fantasies. To be with 2 women at the same time while one of the women is your wife. And you feel the best way to get her to agree to this is to convence her that she wants it more than you do. So you are actually looking for ways to convence her of this rather than admitting your true intent to her and letting her decide if she is willing to let you go through with it or even if she is willing to test the waters with another woman while you watch.

You just need to be totally honest with her and tell her about your fantasy and let her decide what happens if anything. Also she needs to be the one to decide who she is willing to share you with and you should accept her choice of 3rd party. If she decides its a "NO GO" then you should drop it and forget about having an affair with another woman with or without your wife involved. But you will never change her sexuality. That is something she will decide for herself. :soapbox:

SpicyMeatBall.JS
May 6, 2005, 10:05 PM
I agree with the other, someone can not just be turned into a bi.

BUT....

If you would like to plant the seed, start with subtle hints of your interest in her being with a women, introduce it into your sex talk. make it fun, make it interesting, and she may see how hot it makes you and take a liking to the talk and that could lead to an exciting experience for the both of you. Do not push her into, and don't be mad if she doesn't go for it.

xoxo

TouchableTina4
Jun 14, 2005, 1:20 AM
I am sorry to say you can not make someone bisexual. We are because we are. You should be happy that she is doing these other things to make you happy. But I wouldn't make her be with a woman unless she was interested in it herself.

Apleasureseeker
Jun 16, 2005, 1:05 AM
Looking at it a different way, if she becomes bisexual, she'l probably want to spend time wiht other women WITHOUT you. That's no fun!

Heartless01
Jun 16, 2005, 1:06 AM
I am sorry to say you can not make someone bisexual. We are because we are. You should be happy that she is doing these other things to make you happy. But I wouldn't make her be with a woman unless she was interested in it herself.

Well said....

;)

hypershot
Jun 16, 2005, 7:35 AM
You are who you are! You cant change no matter how much you try! And you can't change anyone else either, it just doesnt work. Sorry