Swing or Polyamory?

[Gatodoabc]

This is a two questions topic!

First question: Are you here looking for casual sex (swing, Ménage à trois) or you are wanting to have emotional relationships with more than one person at the same time (polyamory)?

Second question: What do you think the majority of the people in this website is after (swing or polyamory)?

NOTE: I know a lot of people are here for other reasons other than sex or relationships (friendship, voyerism, etc.) but please disconsider those people when answering to the two questions.

POLYAMORY is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they reflect one or more partner's wish(es) to have further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

SWING, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple."[1] The phenomenon (or at least its wider discussion and practice) of swinging may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

[thesea]

Had casual sex and f*ck buddies, I like getting to know someone so you have laugh with them and know their bodies and minds. I like partner that wants to come dancing with me. I like to care for them, I like it more if they give the warm fuzzy feeling :) I have a bf, have loved a woman for 7 years but will possibly not get to be with her again, I have a long distance gf, hard but we will see how it goes and a woman I have seen a few times and I think we will be caring mates/lovers. Would be up for more ladies, would like to fall love with another woman, between her and bf I would have someone special to got to sleep with most nights of the week!

Can't speak for what anyone else is or wants to be here, I don't know anyone.

[Gatodoabc]

So you are looking for a polyamorist relationship... That's cool. Is your bf wanting to engage in this kind of lifestyle as well?

[Germanicus]

Perhaps a question to be considered is how many people claim (or want) to be the former, but are really the latter and don't have the courage to admit it.

[thesea]

So you are looking for a polyamorist relationship... That's cool. Is your bf wanting to engage in this kind of lifestyle as well?

He intends to to date men, I have said if he meets a women he clicks with not to hold back. He is a mixture of shy and laid back so I think he will take his time finding a guy, well unless he's drunk and then he's right in there snogging in front of his straight friend and sister http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/laughing8.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)

[Gatodoabc]

Perhaps a question to be considered is how many people claim (or want) to be the former, but are really the latter and don't have the courage to admit it.

You haven't answered any of the two questions... :bigrin:

Are you the former or the latter? :tong:

[thesea]

You haven't answered any of the two questions... :bigrin:

Are you the former or the latter? :tong:

I'm out as poly one several dating sites, to my mum, my friends, if anyone at work asked a direct enough question i would come out.

Is the question am I really in it for just the sex (swinger) or do I really love more than one person at a time? I make strong bonds and love many people, how deep that goes depends on lots of things but I am open to more love, I don't find it tiring being in love with more than one person, just time for them can be hard the more people you add to the mix.

[Gatodoabc]

Sorry Thesea... I was actually quoting Germanicus. But thanks for the extra info anyway. The more, the merrier! :three:

[Germanicus]

You haven't answered any of the two questions... :bigrin:

Are you the former or the latter? :tong:

I know I didnt answer the questions.

But since you ask: "neither, nor"

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Primarily we are looking for relationships. Having been in a poly relationship in the past, we find that we miss that closeness that we had. So we would like to find another. In the mean time we will take what ever fun we can. As for others, we chose not to think for them.

[TaylorMade]

I guess my ultimate dream is to live in an MMF triad. Kinda of a perverse twist to the traditional vision of white picket fences, 2.5 kids and a dog. I almost could give up women if I found a good bisexual man, we found another man and we could live together. I've talked to one guy friend about this seriously. . .and I admit it, I hold out hope . . .:three: Guess you could call it PolyAmory or PolyFidelity. . .but I'm starting small. . .One bisexual male for football watching, backrubs, fajita making, and mall walking, please! :)

I think most people here are looking for hookups and MAYBE a swing-partner.

*Taylor*

[the mage]

Ahhhh... good one...

Ok, Well swing is fraught with emotional danger, in particular for the Bi man.
The "classic" swinger scene is NOT male-male sex friendly.
For submissive natured Bi women the swing scene is a blast. For men not so much. If you as a couple can really separate the physical play from the Love you can have fun...

Polyamory is far far far more risky to a committed couple to pursue.

You are entering the situation putting your Love on the table which is a serious matter of the interaction of the peoples soul...times 3...

[shameless agitator]

This is a two questions topic!


NOTE: I know a lot of people are here for other reasons other than sex or relationships (friendship, voyerism, etc.) but please disconsider those people when answering to the two questions.

I'm glad you put this part in. I was going to blast you for the false assumptions until I read this. As for me, I'd ultimately like a committed triad relationship (MMF), but am not actively seeking one right now. If I happen to meet somebody & fall in love with them that's all well and good, but I'm only really looking for friends and playmates right now.

[Gatodoabc]

The "classic" swinger scene is NOT male-male sex friendly.

Very true! In my opinion, women are much more likely to accept a bi situation than guys are.

[onewhocares]

We, my bisexual husband and I are looking for a man with whom we can have a long term relationship with. Does that mean living together as a triad, not in the near future, but if the right man came along we would consider it. We have without a doubt met wonderful people for both intimate and intellectual relationships also.

Swinging is not part of the reason we are here.

[diB4u]

Gatodoabc you asked if i'm here for either swinging or poly.

Well I've had casual sex and fuck buddies, both of which was not what i wanted but found myself in.

So, I would rather be in a triad... or a few lol... MMF most of the time.

Sometimes i would also like to be in another sort of triad as well- one biologically a man, a transgendered person and myself.

But the great chinese wall wasnt built over night, for it took many many years to create such greatness and lasting beauty...

[Lorcan]

We, my bisexual husband and I are looking for a man with whom we can have a long term relationship with. Does that mean living together as a triad, not in the near future, but if the right man came along we would consider it. We have without a doubt met wonderful people for both intimate and intellectual relationships also.

Swinging is not part of the reason we are here.


Ditto. We are poly, picky people. if we were not so picky maybe we would have more luck. if we could put up with "one night stands" maybe we would get it more. maybe some of those "one night stands" would grow into a real relationship. but sorry. i guess i'm too old for those shinanagins.:rolleyes:

maybe you should have a poll: swing or casual/ polyamorous/ polyfidelitous/swing or poly/ or monogomous

[thesea]

lotta slutting around.
:rolleyes:

[thesea]

:rolleyes: :soapbox: shouldnt u be eating some tuna closet dyke?

tuna? you lost me there!

I do hate when people use "dyke" in a derogatory manner, girls have worked hard to make it a label to be proud of.

Hmm why am I getting involved...http://www.pic4ever.com/images/ugly004.gif

[thesea]

that might be your view flex but things look very different for my partners, me and my friends. Guess its a matter of perspective.

[BI BOYTOY]

well lets see flex that is one way of looking at things...... :( i dont like to rail on people for the way they thingk or feel. so im not even going to start. but we are here for a ploy. relationship,,,,, we like the closeness and intimate of another person. we swung before and it not for us. or for the bi-male. a striaght 3 some is not very fun.:bigrin: good luck alll with your search for what ever you are looking for.:bibounce::bibounce:

[welickit]

I guess we would have to say Poly. We aren't hardcore swingers or bed hoppers as a general rule. We do enjoy recreational sex and prefer to enjoy the person as well as the sex involved. We also prefer the person we are having sex with to be bisexual even if they are passive bi. :bipride:

[onewhocares]

We are most certainly not swingers. Rather we prefer to get to know a man and build a relationship with him first. Speaking for myself I know that I can love more than one man at a time...I do.

Belle

[still_shy]

I'm going to jump into the middle of this discussion....Personally I am looking for a woman to be with, someone I can get to know before any sexual matters are brought to the table. Would I consider a MFF relationship with my husband??? Not sure, but also sure that swinging isn't for me. Given the right situation, I think anyone can change their mind. Everything is relative to the people who are involved. (don't know if that made sense, I'm still so very confused) As for anyone else on here, I don't know. I haven't met very many people yet.

[*pan*]

well i'm already in a poly relationship with 2 woman. my self i am lookin for a male lover to complete my sexual desire. as for others and their reasons, i assume they are here for various reasons, some for lovers some for sex some for virtual sex ect.... and of course this is just my :2cents: for what it's worth lol

[mark123]

For me, I'm not romantically or intimately attracted to men but I like male on male sex, (if that makes sense...) For me, an example of the ideal situation would be me + a Bisexual friend sharing my wife equally in a Polyamory relationship. My wife being in love with both men who are in love with her.

[IanBorthwick]

Polyamory is the biggest sham, lie, and buzzword since 'weapons of mass destruction in Iraq'.

I know lots of people who say that they're poly and it's about LMAO "love" and 3 people living together when it's just about them having sex with people besides the person they're in a relationship with and I fail to see the difference between what's described as polyamory and an open relationship.

I think that people should concentrate on working out their relationship with their partner first, or even leave their partner first before they have an open relationship since it won't solve all of their problems and many times it creates new ones.

I think it's funny and sad that there are people who act like they need and simply must have an open relationship with their partner or else they black mail them and say that their partner doesn't really love them or want them to be their "true" self.

This just shows me that the person doesn't actually care about their relationship with their partner and doesn't care how their partner feels, they don't take any relationship seriously at all, and they're putting their own needs ahead of actually communicating with their partner about the relationship that they both have together.

3 way relationships don't work out for the most part and let's face it, it's hard enough finding just ONE person for a relationship let alone two that are attracted to you, or a relationship with 3 or even 4 people who are all attracted to each other and there's no jealousy or cheating at all.

People will say that open relationships are just as easy to maintain as closed ones between two people, and that's simply not true because in most cases the people who are already together who have a relationship and ask someone else to join them will just wind up backing out of the whole thing eventually, or they'll ALWAYS pick each other over the other new person/people who they have opened their relationship to.

Sex is one thing, but 99% of people are geared towards having one partner who they build their life around and who they have a relationship with be it closed, or an open relationship so they can have sex with other people.


This...yes THIS stuff right here is why I will peruse these forums but not come here overmuch anymore except to take a disptick test of how fractious even our own community is. The narrowmindedness of this thought process in "our" community has most of us willing to hide how we feel so no one that is supposed to be like us takes no stabs at us.

And I say "our" in quotes because it's supposed to be mine as much as anyone elses, but the opinion-stated-as-fact above shows we are intolerant as hell, thus leaving no room for me in and amongst others who are supposedly like in mind to myself.

Rarely have I felt connected to anyone here on the forums, those I did feel akin to were like myself were those made to feel outside and alien or foreign. Ultimately they left here and with it my hopes that if they could make it, so could I.

So long as you play divisive games and won't let us red-nosed reindeer join in any reindeer games, the bi-community is never going to come together. Moreover we're going to be cannon-fodder to those who want to witch-hunt us for their own ends, which will be easy as hell since they're going to have help for them from with "our" community to take us alive and burn us at the stake.

And all for what? A little improved acceptance, so you can pretend you are not so different from them and gain some small measure of respect from those who are not like us? Hope you get what you want.

[diB4u]

well i'm already in a poly relationship with 2 woman. my self i am lookin for a male lover to complete my sexual desire. as for others and their reasons, i assume they are here for various reasons, some for lovers some for sex some for virtual sex ect.... and of course this is just my :2cents: for what it's worth lol

Yes i agree with you, although im permently single, i would love to have a long term relationships with two men. Ideally poly style life and possible with a transgender person just for me. Call me greedy but, hey one can dream right???

[IanBorthwick]

Ian-Get some therapy.

Nobody is hunting you to burn you at the stake or actually even cares about a website like this which isn't an actual community at all.

So you're overly sensitive and don't take well to other people's opinions when they differ from your own?

That's too bad that you're not more open minded.

You're the one who's being intolerant!

That's rich...so in your estimation I am intolerant of of intolerances. Since you're new to the boards and have yet to make 50 posts, I'll forgive you your ignorance. Your intimations are sub-par and off beam. Since your POV is limited in this I invite you to take something YOU know better than the casual person and have someone tell you how you are wrong about your expertise. See how it makes you feel and allow you employ something better than knee-jerk idiotic responses.

Hang around a bit, you might get wiser to the way this board is the world in Micro-cosm. I doubt it, though.

[someotherguy]

First question: Are you here looking for casual sex (swing, Ménage Ã* trois) or you are wanting to have emotional relationships with more than one person at the same time (polyamory)?

A1: I am trying for anything I can get and would be lucky to have it.

Second question: What do you think the majority of the people in this website is after (swing or polyamory)?

A2: By far and away the vast majority of people here are looking for...hang on...phone...brb

[matterinhand]

Before we ever involved anybody else, my wife and i wanted to find people on a poly basis, more than just buck fuddies, people we could go places with, and really good friends.

Fat chance.
It never worked that way, and we ended up just swinging with a few people in the hope the relationship would grow.

[diB4u]

Before we ever involved anybody else, my wife and i wanted to find people on a poly basis, more than just buck fuddies, people we could go places with, and really good friends.

Fat chance.
It never worked that way, and we ended up just swinging with a few people in the hope the relationship would grow.

Sometimes life doesn't work out how you expect it to though does it?

Keep on trying, it might happen...

I still consider having a poly relationships far far better than just swinging, but each to their own!
:2cents:

[ch699]

Been openly bi for two and a half years now. Feel I;m more into polyamory than swinging at this point. The wife (f) and I both feel we can fully accept another man into our lives at this point in time; whether he be bi or gay. Know it may seem weird but it works for us