Treading the waters gently....

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Lord, I dread the thought of re-entering the "Dating World" again.
I will be single again soon, and for some odd reason, the prospect of starting the whole "Toad Tossing" process scares the Hell outta me..
Toad Tossing is essentually, kissing toads and tossin em back into the pond til you find the right one. (Dont ask, too long of an explaination..lol)
Has anyone else felt this way? I mean, I was married for nearly 30 years before we broke up, and did the dating scene before hooking up with the significant other that I currently have. I've been with him for four years now, (Hey, at leat ya caint say that I'm inconsistant..lol) and we shall be parting company as soon as I can find an apt that doesn't have rats or roaches the size of Chihuahuas. lol
I kinda dread the whole find and search routine, truth be known. In my Lifestyle there's plenty of play partners, but a girl my age needs something a bit more substancial than just that. Its a scary proposition nowdays.
Anyone have any sage advice for me? Outside of "deal with it and jump on the first man that'll look at an old, fat, ugly, disabled broad like you"
That was my blind date the other nights sage advice. *Rolling eyes.*
Thanks in advance, Loves. :}
Cat:paw::paw:

[shameless agitator]

Don't know that I have any sage advice, but I can commiserate with ya. My last couple of relationships have been total disasters & I've actually decided to stay single for a while. I think a playmate or 3 is all I want in my life right now. Now that I think of it, maybe I do have some advice for you. I don't know how sage it is, but you might want to spend some time by yourself. It sounds like you've spent most of your life in relationships. The freedom of singlehood might do you some good.

[ShyBritInMI]

I dread being single, my marriage is coming to an end, ive only ever had 2 relationships in my 34 year history...the first lasted 2 years and my marriage is coming to end after 7 years. I liked being single back when i was younger, but now I hate thinking I will be 'alone'. I know to some it might seem we are crazy to dread being single, we can now do what we like and not answer to anyone. In my case if I want to sleep with a man I dont have to hide from my wife, i never tried as I wanted to remain faithfull to her, so in that sense I am free at last.

But just having someone to share your life with is what I cherished the most, I feel for anyone who is going through a break up, I am also not the type to hit the town and fuck anything with a pulse so for a while I will be off the radar, but you never know what is around the corner, i believe in fate so I will leave it upto fate.

[gfofbiguy]

Don't know that I have any sage advice, but I can commiserate with ya. My last couple of relationships have been total disasters & I've actually decided to stay single for a while. I think a playmate or 3 is all I want in my life right now. Now that I think of it, maybe I do have some advice for you. I don't know how sage it is, but you might want to spend some time by yourself. It sounds like you've spent most of your life in relationships. The freedom of singlehood might do you some good.

Darn it, Shameless, I was gonna say that! Anyways, he's right on with the "being single/by yourself" for a while. I spent quite a while by myself and thoroughly enjoyed my single-time/me-time after I got divorced. I spent the time rediscovering myself and in time, I did find someone and fell in love and am now living with him. But I do highly recommend spending time by yourself, especially after getting out of a lengthy relationship. If for nothing else just to rediscover yourself and be happy and/or content with YOU. Not having to worry about what another is doing whether living with you or just dating is great at this time of being single again. I personally have never been able to jump back into the dating pool immediately after ending a relationship with anyone...usually take some good quality time off from that - even up to a year. Good luck to you Cat!!!

P.S. Oh, this is going back a-ways, but *shhhhhh* my "senior saying" in my yearbook was "You have to kiss a lot of toads [frogs] before you find your prince". :rolleyes:LOL - I've certainly done that more than enough times!

P.P.S. Did'ya slug the guy that said "Outside of 'deal with it and jump on the first man that'll look at an old, fat, ugly, disabled broad like you'":eek:??? Cuz you certainly aren't "old", "fat" OR "ugly"!!! Sounds like he was KING of the Toads....I hope you tossed him far, far away.....!

[ambi53mm]

I think what Shameless and gfofbiguy suggest is very sound and good advice....I'll add this...I've always believed that those that guide our path always have our best interests at heart....they've bought you this far and as you look back you can see that the lessons have been many.... and brings you to where you now are....and what a terrific person you've become in the process! :)
Despite your current situation...that hasn't changed...We are creatures of habit...often times bringing those into our lives who's lessons continue to teach until we finally understand...Take time with yourself and don't loose faith...you already know that a greater power is at work...and always will be...trust that.

Ambi:)

[dportrait]

Take your time and try to enjoy being single... not always easy I'll admit. You needn't start toad tossing straight away, just enjoy being with family, friends and playmates.

I was in a similar situation not that long ago and got to the point where I was tried of trying to find a partner, so was really looking just for a playmate...

Of course this is when we found each other - I had the biggest grin from the moment we started chatting, and my lady & I have hardly been apart since then.

All the best in your journey...

[jem_is_bi]

I have never been married or had a “significant other” female in my life. So, being without one does not bother me. But, you have always had what I have not. So, while some time alone may be beneficial, I suggest you use some of that time to decide exactly what kind of man you need and go get him. Lot’s of options, Internet, bars, clubs, you can even meet nice people watching birds at a nature center. I hope you find that “rock” of emotional support for an otherwise wild spirit?

[darkeyes]

Jus go out..letya hair down..an enjoy Cat ... no preconceptions bout wot will cum of it...jus enjoy ....:bigrin:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Thank you Guys and Dolls. I knew I could count on you. *Big kiss inserted here*
That's precisely what I Intend on doing. I just want to kind of "Hermit Out" for a while, and just kind of let my mind and body find some peace of mind again. :} And maybe once I do that, my libido will remember where it once lived..lol
And no, I didnt blast the blind date guy. I ordered a nice Prime Rib with the "Fixins" and ate Every damn bite slowly and mythodically, all whilst ignoring him, and listening to the other people at the table. I then ordered a whole Chocolate cream pie to go,(To be taken to the sex party a day away) and said, "Well ya'll its been a slice of heaven, see all of those that I Know at the sex party on Saturday. And to You (meaning the asshole) I say thank you, and go ta hell"
I turned as my other friends laughed at his stunned face, and walked out of the Keg resturant..lol.
I'll be fine Loves. Thank you for all of your affection and support.
MUAH!
Cat :paw::paw:

[shameless agitator]

I ordered a nice Prime Rib with the "Fixins" and ate Every damn bite slowly and mythodically, all whilst ignoring him, and listening to the other people at the table. I then ordered a whole Chocolate cream pie to go,(To be taken to the sex party a day away) and said, "Well ya'll its been a slice of heaven, see all of those that I Know at the sex party on Saturday. And to You (meaning the asshole) I say thank you, and go ta hell"
I turned as my other friends laughed at his stunned face, and walked out of the Keg resturant..lol.


Cat :paw::paw:Beautiful!:bigrin:

[gfofbiguy]

And no, I didnt blast the blind date guy. I ordered a nice Prime Rib with the "Fixins" and ate Every damn bite slowly and mythodically, all whilst ignoring him, and listening to the other people at the table. I then ordered a whole Chocolate cream pie to go,(To be taken to the sex party a day away) and said, "Well ya'll its been a slice of heaven, see all of those that I Know at the sex party on Saturday. And to You (meaning the asshole) I say thank you, and go ta hell"
I turned as my other friends laughed at his stunned face, and walked out of the Keg resturant..lol.
I'll be fine Loves. Thank you for all of your affection and support.
MUAH!
Cat :paw::paw:

Right on! You GO, girl!!!:bigrin:

[HighEnergy]

Good for you, Cat. I have a friend with whom I have benefits, but who is too depressive to "be in a relationship". He asked me the other night why I don't go find a really nice guy. Then I told him about some of my dates, and how I call my neighbor on the way home and say, "ribbit". OMG, there are some real nonwinners out there, so I'm stuck with the fuckbuddy for now. But almost 2 years post divorce, I have to say that time almost alone has been really good for me. Enjoy the time that you can have beer and popcorn for dinner on the nights the kids aren't home. Enjoy not knowing what channel espn is on. Enjoy reading in bed and getting cracker crumbs in it if you want. Spend that time learning to love yourself, even if you are like me, and the old gray mare ain't what she used to be, but she's still damn good. :tong:

[Bluebiyou]

Lord, I dread the thought of re-entering the "Dating World" again.
...
Anyone have any sage advice for me? Outside of "deal with it and jump on the first man that'll look at an old, fat, ugly, disabled broad like you"
That was my blind date the other nights sage advice. *Rolling eyes.*
Thanks in advance, Loves. :}
Cat:paw::paw:

I had to wait to post, Cat... I was upset... that this fella should actually say this to you. You know what? I think you should have taken him up on it, "jumped on him", and ... well, I wasn't thinking a sexual response. :devil::eek::devil:

Blue

[warmpuppy]

Let's put it this way. Why do you live so far away??????

[the mage]

Being single is so outside my reality I can offer only the advise I give anyone exploring..
Use the web as needed to make first contact, but let as little real time pass as possible before you get out the door to practice meeting new people.
Look for active social groups that do things you now (or used to when younger) like to do.

Always have someone you trust know where you are and with whom.
Meet in safe public places and have several neutral ground adventures when meeting new people.

Play safe safe safe.
.Keep your heart and mind in neutral and calm places when judging new people.
Their life experience will not be yours, accept the differences with humor.
Laugh... it is everything..good sex makes you laugh, as do good people...
..