Why are you here? Why have you stayed?

[onewhocares]

I am not sure if this topic has been covered before but....Tonight at dinner a friend, a good friend but not one who knows that my husband is bisexual ( not that really makes a difference in the general context of this thread) asked why I spend so much time on line. She said that I spend far too much time on line, that I am NEVER with out my laptop, seemingly in need to be in constant touch with my on line friends. She said friends...really? It seems that all you seem to do is to be one with a group of needy people who demand much from you and you willingly give to them (people who really do not do little for you, yet you would give them the shirt off your back) and you get little in return. They seem to be all lonely and searching for something.

I was rather perturbed at her generalization of MY reasoning. Granted, I was in no position at the time to explain this particular site which I am proud to be a part of as my daughter was there, and no my friend does not know that hubby is bi and our first joining this site was for us to become familiar with bisexuality and the people associated with it.

As this conversation continued I really began to think why I was in actuality on here....I guess I came to find answers, and when I received those answers I stayed because I found a whole new world of people I am proud to call friends. I have not doubt that some are just acquaintances, but I know I have several friends whom if I needed them...planes would fly in from LA, Dallas or Jersey....as I would fly to them on a moments notice if they needed me.

My question....What brought you here and why have you stayed?

Belle

[Bluebiyou]

Good God!
No friend is she! Mind fucking bitch! She has poison running through her veins. Rather than love/acceptance, she manipulatively denigrates you and your feelings... rather directly.
We (including you) are seeking love sincerely and openly.
This is a chaotic and arbitrary/random experience at best...
A rule following game to the least denominator of us...

She is an opportunist manipulative conformist... at least in the area of sexuality and perhaps in other areas as well.

..or perhaps she's (reaction formation) interested but terrified of truly expressing her feelings.


To answer your question directly:
I am here because I am bisexual and there are few nurturing places I can grow. This is the best place for growing and understanding for me.

I stay because there is real love here. There's also a great amount of crap, but definitely there is real love... hope of understanding/growing.

That is why I am here and why I stay. It's a matter of faith and beliefs.
"Choose your God"
...hatred... exclusion... willful ignorance... staying the same... labels
or
love... inclusion... learning... change... acceptance of feelings/humanity - myself and others...

[shameless agitator]

I guess I came to find answers, and when I received those answers I stayed because I found a whole new world of people I am proud to call friends.
BelleThis answers the question for me as well as anything I could write.

[ShyBritInMI]

I find it hard to trust and socialize with people, im not disfigured or anything just i am very shy and have been burned in the past so now my guard is up when it comes to making friends. The reason I came here is I met a guy online who openly admitted he was attracted to me, we never met but only talked online...my reflex was that it was a man liking a man, it wasnt right...the thing is i liked my friend too...and the more i thought about sex with men the more i wanted it. I never had the courage to explore it any further until last year my wife left me, i never told her about my bisexual feelings until she came out and asked....and i didnt lie, i told her it would interest me to sleep with a man.

She then told everyone we know I was gay...and our marriage fell apart, but when i was at my lowest point i found this website and found people who understood me, they wouldnt laugh at me for liking both men and women, some of course just come here to jerk off with other men or women, but others like me just want to chat to people with the same issues and/or problem. I used to feel like i was not normal or the outcast of my friends and family, i still havent slept with a man but when i do I will no doubt credit some people in here for getting the courage to do so.

[thesea]

Sorry to say this is my second choice for bi forums, I am a member of a bi women's forum that has many sections, it's so varied. I find the jumble here strange, the girls forum feels more of a community for me. I would love to be part of a forum for all genders like the girls one, it's so well designed and well moderated but it would be nice to have a place where the guys and girls could talk as at the moment we just peek at each others forums!

I came cus I was really confused, not sure if I was gay so wanted to talk, turns out a quite a bit gay both not all the way :bigrin:

I pop back in from time to time :)

[softfruit]

I too tend to loiter in other online spots, though the one I think thesea is talking about tends to wind me up a bit too much so I gravitate to Facebook and LiveJournal.

My main motive for dropping back here now and then is to let newbies from the UK know about the bi social and support groups near to them - sometimes as a result you get to meet people at BiCon / BiFest which is always a pleasant bonus.

[ambi53mm]

Hope...and...Dreams

Ambi:)

[Germanicus]

I came to the site, not in the expectation of answers, just out of interest after a friend introduced to it.

Have I found answers? Well, not really.

I can't say I have learnt from this site, despite what my previous alter ego once pretensiously claimed (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3661).
Its been much more of "there but for the grace of god go I" when reading of the terrible situations that some people find themselves in, whether by accident or design.

Why do I stay? Fuck knows. Sometimes I like to log on and mix it up like the intellectual street brawler that I used to be, particularly with some of the crap that is posted.

Nonetheless, the site has largely outlived its usefulness. I like to think that by staying here I'm keeping my options open, but this door, like so many others, closed long ago and I should just recognise that.

"Be gone, foul spirit! Haunt this place no more"

[folk2punk]

the sad, cold fact is that my wife asked me this same question yesterday, refering to our marriage, not the site. and i've got say that i'm not quite sure of either. i've been attracted to men primarily, and women secondarily for most of my life. so, since i dont fit into either end of the spectrum all that cleanly, i'm in the middle. This site gives me an outlet to speak freely, as well as hear so many varied points of view. you gotta love perspective.

married faithfully for 7 yrs, i recently cheated on my wife with a handfull of different guys. its brought me knowledge and pain and joy. we really are no better than the rest of the animal kingdom, wrapped up in sex more often that the philosphical.

i've been a fence-sitter in every way, romanticly, sexually, religiously, politically... why choose one way over another? why can't life be a grab-bag of mix'n'match fashion? so, here I am on the fence with the rest of birds. my own question is this: am i being negative, selfish? giving bisexuality a bad-rap? perhaps I should take the dive, and start that one as new topic?

[diB4u]

I came to the site, not in the expectation of answers, just out of interest after a friend introduced to it.

Have I found answers? Well, not really.

I can't say I have learnt from this site, despite what my previous alter ego once pretensiously claimed (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3661).
Its been much more of "there but for the grace of god go I" when reading of the terrible situations that some people find themselves in, whether by accident or design.

Why do I stay? Fuck knows. Sometimes I like to log on and mix it up like the intellectual street brawler that I used to be, particularly with some of the crap that is posted.

Nonetheless, the site has largely outlived its usefulness. I like to think that by staying here I'm keeping my options open, but this door, like so many others, closed long ago and I should just recognise that.

"Be gone, foul spirit! Haunt this place no more"


Yes actuarly I agree with you.

I came to this place so i can meet bisexual men, bisexual women and others who identify as pansexual. If memory serves me correct someone on livejournal pointed me this way....

However regardless of how many online friends i've made... I've yet to meet or even befriend anyone that is either bisexual, pansexual or just curious.

Why do i stick around, maybe in an attempt that i might actuarly meet people and from meeting them, i might find one or two individuals that i can actuarly have a relationships with.

:bigrin:

[Mrs.F]

Funny, I have been asked the same question before from my family. Though I don't have a laptop, when our desktop is down, I have been over to my mom's using her's. I know that no one will understand my need to come here and it's not like I can sit down and explain it either, which makes it even more frustrating!

Why I came here? I came because I learned my husband was bisexual after 10 yrs. of marriage. I needed help! I didn't know anything about bisexuality or how to deal with it or if it meant my marriage was over....He was already a member of this site and mentioned to me that joining here would/could help me, as there were other spouses on here going through the same thing. I'm glad that I followed his advice because I know that I would not be at the level of understanding I am right now, nor would our marriage still be alive!

Why have I stayed? Exactly why most have stayed. Friends, that have turned to family. I know that I can come here and find my friends to listen, understand and tell me their feelings. My dad had a tragic accident in October of 2006. I had friends from here sending flowers and cards and special things during that time. That meant the world to me at that time. To know that I had people that really did care about me. You couldn't ask for anything more. This is my second home and I plan to keep it that way!

Thank you Belle...you are amazing woman and a wonderful friend!

[welickit]

I guess we are in a different position than most folks. We are both bisexual, both very comfortable with it and we could care less what other people think. It is who we are and we are proud of it.
As for why we stayed here, ......to offer others the benefit of our experiences and to listen, learn and guide others who are perhaps mixed up or unsure.

[Dagni]

I think i'm here cause i met some intresting, a true bisexauls on this site and even found girlfriends, boyfriends and some friends.
And even in some occasions when i'm in not in good position to be on this site, (Formula 1 Grand Prixs all over the world), i come here cause of those people that i like and love.

Of course there was soe bad moments here that could lead me into some illusions and made my life a little harder (comming in NYC to meet one person who didn't show up on airport to pick me),but it's all behind me now.

I like to bi here, but i would also like to have more respect on this site.

[raistkit]

why am i here: to learn, i've always known i was different, i came here to hopefully understand another side of raist. thankyou to all of who have posted it's helped me to understand why it is so hard to just be yourself. this site has helped me to see that just because i walk, dress, and talk as i please it's not so simple for others. why do i stay: because i learn something new every day.

thank you kit

[thesea]

I too tend to loiter in other online spots, though the one I think thesea is talking about tends to wind me up a bit too much so I gravitate to Facebook and LiveJournal.

My main motive for dropping back here now and then is to let newbies from the UK know about the bi social and support groups near to them - sometimes as a result you get to meet people at BiCon / BiFest which is always a pleasant bonus.

Wind you up? Eep! bi-guys is quiet from what I have snooped, shame cus the girls forum is so buzzing.

I'm a member of BiScotland *waves* not sure if I will make it to bicon, rather skint and music festivals take priority.

[void()]

Hope...and...Dreams

Ambi:)


Same also

Void :)

[BronzeBobby]

I kind of answered this on another thread. I am here to kill some time and see if there are interesting topics to talk about. I don't look for friendships on this site or through any online forum. I have stayed simply because I make a point not to get emotionally involved; that way staying doesn't harm me.

Best wishes.


QUOTE=onewhocares;100660]I am not sure if this topic has been covered before but....Tonight at dinner a friend, a good friend but not one who knows that my husband is bisexual ( not that really makes a difference in the general context of this thread) asked why I spend so much time on line. She said that I spend far too much time on line, that I am NEVER with out my laptop, seemingly in need to be in constant touch with my on line friends. She said friends...really? It seems that all you seem to do is to be one with a group of needy people who demand much from you and you willingly give to them (people who really do not do little for you, yet you would give them the shirt off your back) and you get little in return. They seem to be all lonely and searching for something.

I was rather perturbed at her generalization of MY reasoning. Granted, I was in no position at the time to explain this particular site which I am proud to be a part of as my daughter was there, and no my friend does not know that hubby is bi and our first joining this site was for us to become familiar with bisexuality and the people associated with it.

As this conversation continued I really began to think why I was in actuality on here....I guess I came to find answers, and when I received those answers I stayed because I found a whole new world of people I am proud to call friends. I have not doubt that some are just acquaintances, but I know I have several friends whom if I needed them...planes would fly in from LA, Dallas or Jersey....as I would fly to them on a moments notice if they needed me.

My question....What brought you here and why have you stayed?

Belle[/QUOTE]

[12voltman59]

As I have said on previous occassions--I first came here a few years back after having been searching for sometime for a "decent" bisexually themed site that was not all about just people trying to hook up and all of that as I found it was in bisexually themed chat rooms on AOL and elsewhere---on so many sites--you would barely be in there and such before someone was PMing you saying something like "man I am horny--got a ten inch cock and want you to suck it" or something like that----

This site was much different--I have made some friends here both simply in our little community and in reality too---which has been good.


Finding this site has been good for my trying to figure out my "bisexual thang!!"

I know I was very pissed off there recently due to some of the things going on and thanks to some people and their stuff---but shhhh!!!! That all seems to have passed for the most part now!!! Thank the lucky stars!!!

I had of course thought of leaving----but I have cooled down now!!!:bigrin::bigrin:

As to why I remain here---for basically the same reasons I came--this site is good balance of what I want--you can do some cyber or other play with people if you wish or not---and we do have a community here and like a real community--we are all different people, so we come from many different perspectives and that being the case--some conflicts are bound to arise----

What was pissing me off there was the sort of constant sniping and such that was going on----I do wish we would keep that down to a minimum!!!

Well---I am still here--with summer coming on--I may not be around as much --but I always find my way back---

[mindfinding]

I find it hard to trust and socialize with people, im not disfigured or anything just i am very shy and have been burned in the past so now my guard is up when it comes to making friends. The reason I came here is I met a guy online who openly admitted he was attracted to me, we never met but only talked online...my reflex was that it was a man liking a man, it wasnt right...the thing is i liked my friend too...and the more i thought about sex with men the more i wanted it. I never had the courage to explore it any further until last year my wife left me, i never told her about my bisexual feelings until she came out and asked....and i didnt lie, i told her it would interest me to sleep with a man.

She then told everyone we know I was gay...and our marriage fell apart, but when i was at my lowest point i found this website and found people who understood me, they wouldnt laugh at me for liking both men and women, some of course just come here to jerk off with other men or women, but others like me just want to chat to people with the same issues and/or problem. I used to feel like i was not normal or the outcast of my friends and family, i still havent slept with a man but when i do I will no doubt credit some people in here for getting the courage to do so.


Wow dude, that sucks. I feel for you there.

[quiet1fornow]

I came here by accident...I did not start out looking for a site or even trying to find answers I had so many issues they were all intertwined.. I had lost a wife of over 30 years to depression and suicide. I had a daughter that was in her second year of law school I am a true sensualist but had not been with anyone for years really was considering if I had lost sexuality completely.

I had been talking with one of my college gay friends from out in CA discussing some of my feelings and history and he suggested that perhaps I was actually a bisexual and needed to address that completely before moving on anything else...turns out he was correct.

I came here and found a community of people that I share much with..the freedom to be "flirty" or "naughty" and that is the fun part..the humor here is second to none I so enjoy the banter...the nicest part of any of the banter is there is a genuine concern for me and actually for all..I met Belle in one of her threads after having just lost a dear person to her and how to deal....I wrote her from my heart and the rest, as they say is history ( by the way Belle...you forgot Florida in that plane thing !!!) Anyway at some point some one asked who do you want to meet from here and why...I believe I replied there are maybe just a couple I believe I could not feel horrible if I missed but that I might feel bad if I had the chance to meet many and didn't.

I have treated this site as if you all are my family...in many ways you are and I am closer to you all and better for the relationship..Those of you that do know me are aware I have entered into a relationship with a family friend she and I have known each other for over 21 years- she is not bi, yes she knows I am but this site is helping me with that as well.

I came because I was lost..I stay to pay it forward to maybe just on like me I might help and to enjoy life and laughter with my family here...ok ok is that syrupy enough?? Belle you are an Angel here!

Love,

Quiet:cool:

[onewhocares]

Forgive me dear Quiet....I am so sorry for neglecting to include Florida....I guess it is because I am there often....especially this October to join the fun at Fantasy Festival where I am hoping to meet YOU and the special woman in your life. I have been blessed to have found a true gentleman whom I can call the most important word....FRIEND.

Belle

[quiet1fornow]

My Dearest Belle,

I did not assume Florida was forgotten just hidden behind that cloud of wonderful cigar smoke, cognac and sunshine:cool:

[quiet1fornow]

I know, I know I stay out of the threads forever and now look at me....I witnessed two acts of kindness this week here myself yes on was to me and one was not...

One was the offering of housing et all for someone here unknown to the "offeror" to finish school if it would help..or I think that was the circumstances...I was able to give that person my individual appreciation...truly from the heart it seemed to me...no I do not think it was a sex slave set up thing:eek:

The other was I am not feeling well nothing major fever and just a bit more than a usual infection...this person offered all accurate advice and concern and later in the day followed up..wow

Those my fellow site members are all the reasons I need and that is at the end of long perieod

[onewhocares]

Quiet,

What you have experianced is not out of the ordinary from my vantage point. I have seen such acts of kindness being bestowed on others an have been the recipient as well. I guess given the state of the site in the last several months, some comments may have inflamed the belief that there are few here who are concerned about others in any way, your comments are a fine example of the foundations of this site. Sometimes, the most unexpected people are there to offer help, comfort, advice, solice an much more, asking nothing but friendship in return.

One thing I have learned is that those who give of themselves are reward ten fold. You dear man are one of those who is blessed.

[TaylorMade]

Come out as gay since that's what you are, and you married a woman because you're closeted.

You asked for advice so Imma give it to ya!

I think you're gonna get some change on that penny's worth of attempted thought.

*Taylor*

[shameless agitator]

Score one for Taylor!

[TaylorMade]

:2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents: <----- Does this work? :)


Yes... makes a lot more sense than the rest of your post.

*Taylor*

[vittoria]

Come out as gay since that's what you are, and you married a woman because you're closeted.

You asked for advice so Imma give it to ya!

LOL if one were to follow that logic(if that's logic, then Spock would be PISSED!!!), then you should come out as lesbian and you're closeted too.

Wait, if one were to follow that logic(see above parentheses)then EVERYONE on here would fall under that classification--which would cause ANOTHER illmannered dispute about who has the right to call who what and so forth!!

give it a rest :disgust:

[vittoria]

And once again to answer the topic of the thread...

I'm here cause I was looking for a bisexual site that I didnt have to pay for.

I stayed cause of Arana, and Michael, and 12Voltman, and Kate, and Ben, and CMM, and Chulainn, and Chimera ( ;) ) and Dagni, and quiet1 and sassy and M.D., and Peg, and GEL, and kendra, and Fuzzled One, and biame, and Donn, and jamie, and allbi, and Q, and Smurf, and Taylor, and wis, and bilou, and Sapphy, and Babsy, and 31cho, and aut, and Doggy (woof woof), and FerSureMaybe, and DJDeep, and emotionlessx, and a WHOLE BUNCH OF KEWL PEEPS!!! ( if i forgot to mention ya, I send you SHRUBBERY!)

Nuff said!

[someotherguy]

It is not possible to remove an account here. Once you sign up you are stuck. I stop in every once in a while when I have nothing better to do, as is very clear from what I post.

I think online hang-outs are like corner bars. The regulars may well see their habituation as socializing. But the obvious draw is the comfort of a routine booze stupor. It's also like TV but that talks back. I wish I could say it was like having friends, but really all you get are very limited and mostly imaginary exchanges with only the type of person whose social life is so lacking that they hunch over a computer instead of being with people in the flesh. Men cruise for sexual opportunities, seeking relief from women's emotional demands; women cruise for emotional support, seeking relief from men's sexual demands. The best of both worlds is not to be had online. And there's the rub.

[**Peg**]

.... I wish I could say it was like having friends, but really all you get are very limited and mostly imaginary exchanges with only the type of person whose social life is so lacking that they hunch over a computer instead of being with people in the flesh. Men cruise for sexual opportunities, seeking relief from women's emotional demands; women cruise for emotional support, seeking relief from men's sexual demands. The best of both worlds is not to be had online.....

I have to disagree with some of your generalizations. Perhaps YOU get only "very limited and mostly imaginary exchanges with only the type of person whose social life is so lacking that they hunch over a computer instead of being with people in the flesh", but that is most assuredly not the case for me. I met my soulmate and the love of my life online years ago and we are STILL together in one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever known.

There are many disadvantaged people who frequent online chatrooms. Disadvantaged in the sense that they are alone in the world without family, or are ill or physically disabled in some way and cannot get out and about. Perhaps they suffer from shyness. The internet is a Godsave for elders and they love it! I teach them email and how to navigate chatrooms and they feel much less isolated. My best student was 87 when she first learned how to use a computer.

So the internet is NOT mostly about sex IMO, to me it is all about learning and collecting information in the best sense of the word. But then again, I DO tend to see the positive side of life most days...and feel sorry for those who choose to concentrate on the negative.

why don't we have a peace symbol here? LOL

[BI BOYTOY]

well lets see why?well i dont have many freinds. and on here usauly people are accepting of on another.a are generaly real about it. their are acceptions. but we are only humans in search of happyness.:bigrin:

[12voltman59]

I have to disagree with some of your generalizations. Perhaps YOU get only "very limited and mostly imaginary exchanges with only the type of person whose social life is so lacking that they hunch over a computer instead of being with people in the flesh", but that is most assuredly not the case for me. I met my soulmate and the love of my life online years ago and we are STILL together in one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever known.

There are many disadvantaged people who frequent online chatrooms. Disadvantaged in the sense that they are alone in the world without family, or are ill or physically disabled in some way and cannot get out and about. Perhaps they suffer from shyness. The internet is a Godsave for elders and they love it! I teach them email and how to navigate chatrooms and they feel much less isolated. My best student was 87 when she first learned how to use a computer.

So the internet is NOT mostly about sex IMO, to me it is all about learning and collecting information in the best sense of the word. But then again, I DO tend to see the positive side of life most days...and feel sorry for those who choose to concentrate on the negative.

why don't we have a peace symbol here? LOL

I reject the notion that it those who spend time online are somehow deficient in their social skills or some such thing as that.

I mix up my time online and in the real world---and I have made friends with some people on here and at other websites that I meet in the "real world.'

I have met people in many widespread geographic areas thanks to the net that I would never have done so otherwise--like when I go to Florida now--I have met some people from here and from other sites that I have interests in --non-sexual sites like the website for the fans of one of my favorite musical groups----pretty much any place I go--I can stop and see someone.

I don't find the internet to be any kind of negative influence or a hinderance to my social life--it has actually made it better, thank you very much!!!

On my MySpace site---I have made contact with musical artists I would never have ever found otherwise and have started correspondences with some of those people---which is way cool to me----since I so respect people who can make a living making music---one of the best activities humans can do is to make music---

This is just an aside in relation to that--I took some photos of this one group playing at a show last fall and the band is going to use some of my photos on their newest CD and the main member of the group is going to do a painting based on one of my photos I took!!

If not for the internet--I would never have had this chance to continue a relationship--such as it is with this group---

I don't think the internet and spending time in virutal communities is a bad thing---I think it is a very good thing---

[diB4u]

I have to disagree with some of your generalizations. Perhaps YOU get only "very limited and mostly imaginary exchanges with only the type of person whose social life is so lacking that they hunch over a computer instead of being with people in the flesh", but that is most assuredly not the case for me. I met my soulmate and the love of my life online years ago and we are STILL together in one of the most rewarding relationships I've ever known.

There are many disadvantaged people who frequent online chatrooms. Disadvantaged in the sense that they are alone in the world without family, or are ill or physically disabled in some way and cannot get out and about. Perhaps they suffer from shyness. The internet is a Godsave for elders and they love it! I teach them email and how to navigate chatrooms and they feel much less isolated. My best student was 87 when she first learned how to use a computer.

So the internet is NOT mostly about sex IMO, to me it is all about learning and collecting information in the best sense of the word. But then again, I DO tend to see the positive side of life most days...and feel sorry for those who choose to concentrate on the negative.

why don't we have a peace symbol here? LOL


Awww good for you Peg. Personally i wonder why im still here... Yes the net can bring two people together, but in my past experience it has only brought short term fun, and so far nothing long term etc.

Ah but Peg im not positive nor negative, im an realist. The net can bring both good and the bad. Both love and NSF.

I have met people online, and people offline, the online experience can for me, become fuller, if i meet people from online to- in the flesh.

Does that make sense????

[Papelucho]

I'm here because I'm bisexual and I want to meet and interact with other people who are bisexual.

[lonelygirlintx]

I came to this site, because I was ready for a woman and I stayed because there are so many good people on here. They are exactly like me and accept me with open arms and they're my family, and I love them all dearly.

[FerociousFeline]

I also ....have had that conversation with some friends. (you know, the one where they tell you that you are living a virtual life and that as such you are wasting your real one)

But I have also learned that there are two distinct groups of people in the world. The group of people who can bridge that gap of creating a virtual world in their head and finding spaces and places and people and friends and so forth IN it.......and those who simply can't.

For those who are like myself, the virtual world AUGMENTS the physical world and is a place where I can have a say, I can speak my mind, I can express myself fully to people who might be interested in what I have to say. In the offline world, well, it's not that the same doesn't apply, but then I might not be NEARLY so candid as I am here. To me, this is what the virtual world is FOR. To go ahead and pull all of that stuff that you might not say to your immediate friends or family to people who have gathered together BECAUSE of our search after similarity.

Thanks to yall, I have a place that I can come and truly open up. That is a gift that you give to me and I thank you for that.

I came here to find out if I was bi. I thought that by watching those of you who were absolutely SURE that you were, I would be able to see if you thought, acted, and held sacred the same values that I do.

What I found was something much bigger than what I was looking for.

I found one of the few spots on the planet where it doesn't MATTER if I'm bi or if I'm not. I found a place here that accepted me for all my idiosyncratic traits REGARDLESS of whether or not it had to do with sex, sexuality, or orientation.

As my self image began to solidify and allow me to understand who I am, I have attempted to pay it forward. I do my best to share my experience and knowledge with others who may also be struggling with their personal offline experience. Because my work schedule is so insanely demanding, I don't get to spend as much time as I would like here, but when I do come it is just really REALLY nice to know that if I am coming home to an empty house with nobody to greet me, nobody to throw arms around me, nobody to acknowledge me as a human being, that I can come here and see you wonderful people and know that I am not alone.

The struggles I have witnessed people having while being here has taught me a great deal about myself, and I have really begun to understand the commonality of fear, frustration and yes even at times desperation and loneliness that is all part of our common experience.

I keep coming back because.....I like yall.

I keep coming back because you teach me things.

I keep coming back because although I have been all over the internet, it's just really nice to hang out with a group of people who you can really get to know, who know your past and your struggles and who can see you grow.

Love

FerociousFeline

[onewhocares]

I must thank you ALL for the wonderful comments that you have all made to this thread. I think that depending upon the place we are in our lives, this site can be many thinks to many people. Never ever have I considered it a purely SEX site always....we are more here.

[still_shy]

I not only find it comforting to talk to people who know what I am going through but also find that the majority of the people in the chat room genuinely care about you enough to offer advice. I haven't been here long but already feel as though I have made friends (and for a person as shy as me, that's a huge step in the right direction)

[Needyone47]

I first came here in hopes of finding a male friend in my area to befrend and enjoy pleasures with. After a few years of looking I have found no one but I stay in the hope of finding that special friend who I can be myself with.

[**Peg**]

....we are more here.

one other positive thing about meeting someone here (online in pvt. msgs. or email) is that you don't have other distractions which we all use to "judge" people.

For example, I cannot hear your voice, nor see how you dress, nor smell (dammit: I'm REALLY into scents hehe), BUT I hear your heart through your words. I think online is one of the purest ways to build a friendship, build desire (if that is why you're here) build mystery...and more.

We are all free to express our deepest thoughts and desires (even if NOT sexual) and mercifully equally free to ignore those who don't agree with us LOL.

:2cents: :tong:

[weird dream]

I found this site when i was searching for some bisexual support groups..

I'ts been just a few days but i feel immensely comfortable here.

Where I am, being 'alternative' - not just in sexuality - makes life hard, even dangerous - you''re required to fit into a mould - if i changed my lifestyle drastically , i could do it , but it would mean leaving my old life behind... which I'm ready to do as long as there's someone who loves me for who I really am

I'm also looking to find someone, maybe a bisexual girl, a guy or even a couple.... for what ? - lets see how it goes...

take care everyone

dreamer

[*pan*]

well there are a number of reasons i came here and stayed. 1- is that there are quite a few pagans in here of which i am one, bisexual and in a poly relationship with two other witches, that is not accepted within most cultures or fourms. 2- like minded open minded people that try to help and understand rather then put down and scorn someone. 3- i am accepted unlike within most sites and society where i would be ridiculed and hated for my beliefs aqnd way of life. 4- it's totaly free and one has access to everything the site has to offer. 5- it gives me a chance to search for that special someone, who knows maby i will find him one day. 6- there are a lot of interesting questions in the fourms that one can put their two cents in on. 7- there are a lot of hot people with interesting profiles and pics to look over and spend hours reading. 8- a chat room to say hi and get to know everyone that comes in. 9- a chance to see other bisexuals, their problems and help if possible or at least suggest a solution. 10- to be a part of a comuinity and share things personal that you wouldent even share with your family. 11- oh should i go on. i could and you know it, the reasons for joining and staying are endless. just as the topics, problems and questions that come through here. it's obivious that your friend dosent understand the involvement and closeness one can attain with like minded people not of the mainstreem. as a witch and druid at times i feel different and apart from most of the people within society yet i have to live and function within it with my different opinions and beliefs. here at least i feel comfortable knowing others understand my beliefs and desires. and it's not just a laptop, i am talkin to real people just like yourself and i hope to influence others in a positive way. well as usual this is my :2cents: to this thread for what it's worth. peace and blessings be with you always :flag4:

[wonderer]

My wife and I came here hoping to find someone to help fulfill our fantasy of being with another bi guy. So far...no luck. We stay because we hope it will eventually happen for us.
Also, it's a good place to explore with others what we are feeling...and know we are not "weird" like some people would label us. There seems to be so many understanding people here who are feeling just like us, and that is a kewl thing for us. To get on this site and read all the forums and respond to people is great!!
You know..in our society other people just don't 'get it' and if they find out they label us in some negative way. They can kiss my bi ass!! ;)
My wife and I have come to a point in our lives where we say, "Screw it, we don't give a rats' ass what anyone thinks, we are going to do what we want....and that is to enjoy ourselves, have fun, stop missing out on exploring that curious side of us. If others don't like it, we really don't care one bit. As my wife says: They are all probably thinking just like us...just not ever going to admit it to themselves. And damn if I'm going to be one of those people. :eek: Miss out? Not anymore....long enough for us.
This place....other than a few annoying, ah, people...ROCKS!!!!! And, we plan to stay until we meet that person who rocks "us." :bibounce:

[max617]

Well,I'm new here,and hope to meet some like-minded people in person to explore my curious feelings with!