desire - master or slave

[Long Duck Dong]

the basis for this arose in another thread within which the issue of slavery rised its head

owing to my lifestyle and the way I lead my life, it got me thinking.....

are we masters of ourselves, or slaves of our desires

to help people to understand what I am talking about, I will share a lil about myself

I lack sexual desire and drive.....or in simpler terms....I do not have the biological urges to procreate and reproduce....or in simplest terms.... I have no desire to fuck

over the years, people have told me to get help... that I am dysfunction...broken....missing the fun gene.....lol

actually the simple truth is that I am fully functional and working....its just that I don't feel the urges.......

but I have watched my friends for years, fucking, procreating, making love and all the other terms we can use for different variables of sexual contact.....and I often notice a pattern emerging with them

often with the one night stands / random sexual encounters....its about their urge to fuck ( mainly their term )

often with the relationship people its 2 things A) they wanna have a regular fuck B) they wanna be with somebody thats more than a fuck buddy )

often with the married / deep relationship people, its a case of they love the person and enjoy the intimacy / love making cos its a closer form of emotional mental bonding ..and it is awesome for making babies )

but all 3 groups often remark about the desire to fuck.....not the desire to make love, or procreate or reproduction etc....... but the overwhelming desire to fuck........like fucking is the absolute reason for living and that its like a single minded act.... and that its impossible to think or see beyond that aspect ( ok its more males that say that...the females say similair but that its not as controlling....with them its the desire to get preggers )

thats not to see that they are just fuck o maniacs.... but at times they get the single mind fuck urge.... and talking / cuddling / hugging / kissing becomes meaning less and so do all other aspects of their lives for that short time that the urge hits


so it leads me to wonder.... are we truely free minded individuals or actually slaves to our human biological urges

lol I crave a cheese burger.... the texture, the taste, the smell.....but I am able to decide if I am energetic enuf to get off my ass and get one... or if I am plain butt lazy and if that chesseburger doesn't come to me, then I am not gonna have one

why is it that sex is not like that.....why is it for some people that the need to have sex, overrides the need to respect your partner, be considerate of others feelings, entertain the idea of semi / non consentual sex ( I am thinking drunk / drugged sex )

yet the same people are quick to say that they are in control of their lives.....

if a person is happy to say that... good on their.... but the question arises, are they that in control that faced with a situation of mind blowing sex with issues later on, vs having no sex and no issues later on.....?????

I have seen many excuses and reasonings for placing it all at risk......and I consistently wonder.....are people, slaves to their sexual urges ???


I know me well... and I am not gonna judge others for acting on something that I do not feel.... and knowing my personality and nature, IF i have a working sexual urge center... then I guess that I would act on it....

but I am curious ( I suppose that nosy is a better term )... how to people see themselves in regards to their sexual urges

are you a person that throws caution and clothes to the wind if you are not getting sex

are you a person that enjoys sex when you get it.... but like my cheese burger, it comes to you.....cos you don't chase it

are you are a person that likes sex.... but perfers emotion feeling and intimacy with a side serving of love and caring

or are you like me..... a person that could be a monk without any issues regarding sexual urges cos the batteries ran flat lol

[ambi53mm]

(A) are you a person that throws caution and clothes to the wind if you are not getting sex

(B) are you a person that enjoys sex when you get it.... but like my cheese burger, it comes to you.....cos you don't chase it

(C) are you are a person that likes sex.... but perfers emotion feeling and intimacy with a side serving of love and caring

(D) or are you like me..... a person that could be a monk without any issues regarding sexual urges cos the batteries ran flat lol

Well I definitely started my sexual journey as an (A) and then eventually became a (B).. I lived briefly as a (D) and as a result of some very strong soul searching finally came to (C)....so I guess I've been them all at one time or another. The love and caring made all the difference...but still there's always a hunger and curiosity to explore the wonderful pleasures of sex. I don't consider myself a slave to my sexual desires...I do have choice for the moment... (meaning in the here and now) and have "chosen" to explore.... so I suppose I am the Master over the choices I make....but then sex is just one small but intense part of the bigger picture....and one day this body may not be able to perform...will it be missed? Maybe LOL...but because of (A) (B) and (C) I'll have many wonderful memories to contemplate as I slowly embrace (D) once again....I just hope I never reach a point of not enjoying the cheeseburger...now that would be tragic lol.

"If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice". < Rush

Ambi:)

[Bluebiyou]

Super cool topic!
I'd have to answer 'yes' to your entire thread.
Yes, testosterone is a mind numbing 'fuck' drug.
When a mare is 'in season' and the horse owners want baby horses, but she's feeling a little too selective to mate with the stud the owners want her to mate with - dihydrotestosterone injection (if memory serves me). Instant slut. Baby horse.
Yes, we also have selective abilities, even selective hurdles (that's why we have alcohol, to lower those hurdles).
It's the same 'fuck frenzy' desire that kept our primitive ancestors humping and reproducing enough to insure our survival as a species. The same desire has caused us to overpopulate the planet.
Regarding the question: "Am I a person that..."
Yes, to all points. There are times I've wanted to be alone. There are times I'd have sex with anything human and willing.

And then there comes 'love'.
We are (hopefully, if we're lucky) born into this world being unconditionally loved by a man and a woman. We're touched and caressed over all of our body. As we grow we experience less and less of it. No wonder we seek to love and be loved as adults.
Of course, there's a slightly different perspective for young women. Since our species madly desires young beautiful women (procreation), a young woman will be catered to and again feel the attention she received as a child (with a sexual payoff/twist of course, so the 'love' is often mixed with a good dose of manipulation)... until she get older and is not so high on the procreation/desirability list. Then we see Ben Franklin's adage about women over 40 being better lovers.
Certainly there are players on both sides, shallow as a plate of water. We see this at different points. There are also players on both sides as deep as the ocean. And infinite shades of deep/shallow gay/straight horny/indifferent.
So I would answer 'Yes'. We usually are intensely sexual beings. We also can be intensely deep and meaningful beings.

Now, desire - slave or master... that exact question itself is a bottomless pit.
For if I love something, and I serve that love, am I not taking responsibility for my life (by deciding and serving the love), and thus the master while simultaneously the slave to my love?
If you think my above logic too flim-flamy then the Buddhist monk would be the greatest masters of life. To ignore all aspects of the physical to pursue the path of the mind/soul.

[darkeyes]

Refuse 2 b a slave 2 ne 1..not me way.. well cept 2 me body an wot it needs.. an wen Naggy decides 2 get out the restraints.. tee hee.. wich can b same thing...:tong:

[shameless agitator]

Interesting thread. I've been through most of those phases as well, but would currently be a B I think. That cheeseburger is gonna have to come to me. I just can't be bothered making the effort. When I'm in a relationship though, I can't keep my hands off my partner. We'd usually wind up having sex at least once a day. Several times if we could manage the free time.

[Skater Boy]

There was a quote from The Matrix which went something like:

"To deny our impulses is to deny the very thing which makes us human"

But I'm not sure I fully agree. IMO its the mastery over one's desires that distinguishes the person... perhaps not necessarily as human as opposed to... anything else. But I think being a *total* slave to one's desires would often be counter-productive.

That said, humans being flesh and blood, everyone will feel desire at some point. So denying them altogether may not be the answer.

I haven't decided which catagory I'd fit into, but I can relate to all of them except "A", which my natural reserve prevents me from doing. But I suppose after a few drinks, it might be more likely...

[DiamondDog]

Everyone does what they're capable of.

I have friends that are of all orientations who are celibate/non sexual and other people who can be considered asexual since they don't have any desire to have sex.

[Annika L]

Everyone does what they're capable of.


Do you mean that in more than just the tautological deterministic sense?
(i.e., if you don't do it then by definition you aren't capable of it, and if you do do it, clearly you are capable of it)

I tend to feel that making choices in the face of desires (sexual or otherwise), either to follow the desire or to resist it, helps to make us feel alive. Very interesting topic, LDD...thanks for a thought-provoking post!

[Hephaestion]

If only I could understand what darkeyes writes. I feel that I am missing his pearls of wisdom in this and other threads.

As for the topic - Poor old LDDong. His situation was well depicted in the SciFi series Lexx where the hero was a reincarnated/reanimated Brunnen-G warrior, adored and lusted after by many but, sadly, he felt nothing.

Interesting points from BluBiyou. From my experience, I would say that even giving in to become a slave to passion and urges is a conscious decision.

[CuddlyKate]

I sometimes have similar problems with Darkeyes, Hephaestion. Believe me you have it easy. I have to live with her.

[CuddlyKate]

Refuse 2 b a slave 2 ne 1..not me way.. well cept 2 me body an wot it needs.. an wen Naggy decides 2 get out the restraints.. tee hee.. wich can b same thing...:tong:
Not today Frances. The bedroom floor is not a laundry basket. I would much rather you just put your dirty knickers etc where they belong.

[darkeyes]

Not today Frances. The bedroom floor is not a laundry basket. I would much rather you just put your dirty knickers etc where they belong.

... not zactly kinda slavin me had in mind yummie...;)

[Hephaestion]

Salutations to you both Darkeyes and CuddlyKate.
My regards also to BlueBiYou.

Frances - a lovely name.