Needing Advice !!!

[aubguy69]

Hello I am a 21 yr old male. I love women and sex with them however I find that I often fantasize about having sex with males. I started fooling around with my friend at 14 but never more than hand jobs.I love to chat online and play with myself analy and where thongs and pretend Im Paris Hilton or Gwen Stefani or some girl being dirty and just getting pounded on! I have fooled jacked off about 5 guys and been dry humped and fingered by 3 of them. However every time it comes to get past fore play like handjobs I freak out and can't bring myself to go all the way and give a blowjob or have anal sex. I usually wind up freaking out and leaving but then I regret not just going ahead and doing it and going all the way.I have tried over and over not to think about it or chat online with guys but always wind chatting online again or thinking about it and wanting to do it and playing with myself analy ? Is this normal ? I think a big part is guilt and that I am worried it may get out and it would ruin me and I mean it really would destory me if anyone found out. So am I bi or just curious or what giving my thoughts and what I have done ? And how can I get over the wired guilty, worrying feeling and just go ahead and give a bj and get f***** and enjoy it ?

[Bluebiyou]

LOL
We all felt that way!
When you accept and embrace who and what you are, this will not destroy you. You might take 40 years or so for that acceptance, 40 long years, lot's of misery.
You might come to acceptance in the next few years... and realize you are more than -just- your penis.
Honoring your feelings is part of learning (healthy) self love.
Just play safe and use condoms. :)
You might be gay. You might be straight. You are probably bi (with feelings that will sometimes lean gay, sometimes straight, sometimes both).
This has more to do with your accepting yourself than anything else.
Good luck!

[aubguy69]

I am not gay!! But wondering what people think !! It only happens also when I look at porn or get extremely horny!!

[FalconAngel]

It's hard to say if you are Bi, curious or what with any absolute confidence.

However, based on what you have said, it does sound like you are BI. I went through much of what you are talking about (still do, sometimes) as I was growing up.

It is clear to see that you are quite closeted and that could be part of the problem. Fear of being found out. Some communities and families are worse about that kind of thing than others. Particularly in southern and bible-belt states.

To see for sure, about your sexuality, you should look for places a bit farther afield from where you live. Someplace that is not close enough that you would be likely to run into anyone who might see you and out you, if that is a concern.

You may want to see if there are any members on the site that are in your area and talk to them. They could probably help you find a "safer" place to play and explore things.
And if you see someone from your area in one of those places, I wouldn't worry too much. Chances are that they are there for the same reason that you are.

[Bluebiyou]

Aw, crap, the antichrist is back...WHY does this turd seek self elevation in assertation of self?
The very falseness, the manipulation... screams of his fallings.
Hey! asshole! Read " Children of the lie" and ask yourself whom you serve.
It's my observation that only a coward serves "Satan", the dark side... making excuses and rationalizing everything; manipulating for fun and distraction... and worst of all eventually profit.
Be a man and stand for something... hell anything to elevate you above "parasite" or "slug"...
I forget your old names/handles... but you shine through... or 'dark' through...

[bisexualman]

Wow. At least you are talking about it. I actually did everything with men but then denied I was bisexual for 23 years. Until I was in my late twenties it didn't even dawn on me that it was possible to like both. I was so enmeshed in the heterosexual dictates of our society, the one or the other mentality, I never considered looking at both.Though it is very liberating now to admit and love that I am bisexual, I wish I hadn't waited so long to accept myself. I won't ever say regret, because I have had a wonderful life so far.
You have access to information I never dreamed existed. You have hundreds of people who know what it is like to question and deny themselves who they are. Keep talking.
I am not suggesting you run out and have sex with every guy, but allow yourself to accept the possibility that it is like any relationship and takes the right person. I am very particular about who I have sex with male or female. The act of sex, the thought of sex, isn't what does it for me, it is who I am with.

[Bi_Druid]

wow, man, been there, done that, and at the end of it wondered why I didn't just get on with it and come out sooner.

alas, it's one of those things that just takes time.
bottle out answer I know, but I found I had to 'come out' to myself first before coming out to others. With me it took a mugging, 3 months in coma/goldfish memory and a complete rewrite of my memory to get me into doing something about it for myself. Hopefully you should never need to ever go through such yourself.

do what you're comfortable with doing at your own comfortable pace of doing it. find someone who can understand and be patient with you through this, someone who isnt going to worry if you freak out the first how ever many times.
doing anything sexually penetrative for the first time can seem like a huge step. First time I did oral on someone I didn't particularly enjoy it, but now there are times when I just crave it and can't get enough. First time I let someone in anally was an unusual experience. I have since found myself to be more of a 'top' man, but there are times when I like to let someone in, often cos I think they would be worthy of it.

I didn't come out to myself as Bi til I was 21. I'd been playing with people of either sex since I was 16.
And my general rule of thumb is that I only tell people if they actually have the balls to ask, out right. If they act all vague about it, I return just as honestly vague back.

You'll find most people really don't react anywhere near as badly as your imagination fears mate.

find where you are with yourself, and the rest will often come easily