How to get along with a Woman

[the mage]

Ok you Bi men out there....
You're a pain in the ass to begin with, and a challange to be a mate to for any woman.. SO.....
What to do? what to do??

How do you make it so you and your lady get along?
I submit for your inspection the following....and await response from women and men..

It is indeed the little things.. Men.. learn to pee sitting down!!

You heard me...Unless YOU are the bathroom cleaner you do not know of what I speak....We make a mess..
Oh this tip goes to all men visiting another persons house too.. Pee splatter or the DREADED SPLIT STREAM can make a big mess.. Not a good impression....

What other gems ya got?

[csrakate]

Having lived in a household that consists of a husband and two very large sons, I want to applaud you for this public service!!! Amen to the sitting down!!!! If you're too tired to aim, then sit down and make life easier for all involved!! LOL!!!

And as long as you're taking suggestions as to what men can do to get along with women:

1. Don't always try to tell us how YOU would do something if it were up to you.....if you're so damn much better at it...then just do it! Don't just stand there looking over our shoulders and tell us what you would do if it were you!!

2. Don't try to placate the dreaded PMS onslaught with jokes....better to just take the pain in silence then try to hide.

3. We know you have a penis and it's very nice...but do we really need to see it 24/7???

4. Please don't expect us to believe that sex does, in fact, CURE EVERYTHING!! We simply refuse to believe that we will get over our headaches, our cramps, our sore ankles, our rashes, our toothaches... etc etc... if we have sex.

I hope you all know this is in jest....but for the record....do remember what I said LOL!!!

Hugs,
Kate

[ambi53mm]

Compromise on the small stuff….and write it down so when the big things comes along you can quickly refer to your list.

Send a bouquet of flowers to her work with an attached love note…and do it when no special occasion is anywhere in sight.,,,and when she lets you know how special it made her feel….ask her if she would like to really show her gratitude as you unzip your fly…

When she insists on having a painting hung in the living room and wants you to hold the nail while she hammers….take that risk….show her you have confidence in her…and when she hits the nail attached to your finger instead….cry….this will get you out of dish duty for at least a good week.

Tell her on those rare occasions “Honey…YOU are the Man!!…and when she corrects you by saying….”.No…I am the Woman!”….surprise her with a strapon and bend over.

…..and if she happens to read a particular post you made in a totally innocent light hearted manner...let her know it was all in jest.....and that you were just havin a little fun....then live your life happily ever after…The End.


Ambi:)

and an afterthought....when you suddenly find yourself in the doghouse...just remember....a dog with fleas is never alone.....

[wolfcamp]

Ok you Bi men out there....
You're a pain in the ass to begin with, and a challange to be a mate to for any woman.. SO.....
What to do? what to do??

How do you make it so you and your lady get along?
I submit for your inspection the following....and await response from women and men..

It is indeed the little things.. Men.. learn to pee sitting down!!

You heard me...Unless YOU are the bathroom cleaner you do not know of what I speak....We make a mess..
Oh this tip goes to all men visiting another persons house too.. Pee splatter or the DREADED SPLIT STREAM can make a big mess.. Not a good impression....

What other gems ya got?

This reminds me of the movie "All About Schmidt". Did anyone see it? This isn't a highjack. The movie picks up on this theme and lots of other things. (getting along with women, peeing sitting down, etc...)

Also makes me think of something a friend's dad said to me when I was a little kid. He said, "I don't know what a woman wants with a rough, hairy-assed man." I don't know why those words stuck with me, but they did.

Here are a couple complaints I read from women on yahoo personals a few years ago:
Don't blow your nose in the shower.
Don't throw your golf clubs.

One thing I noticed about that place, the men listed what they wanted from a woman. The women listed what they didn't want in a man. :tong:

[eddy10]

Always say:
"Yes dear."
"I understand."
"I love you" does not hurt either. But, you better mean it, 'cause they can see right through a lie. Which leads to the last piece of advice:
Never ever lie. You will get caught at it. And, she will punish you severely.

[**Peg**]

so true Eddy, and when THIS woman says "fine" you have to know it aint hehe ....so proceed with caution LOL.

**Peg**

[csrakate]

so true Eddy, and when THIS woman says "fine" you have to know it aint hehe ....so proceed with caution LOL.

**Peg**
Oh yeah Peg....you are sooo right...."Fine" means "you've messed up big time but right now I don't have the energy to deal with it and I would rather you read my mind and figure out how to make me happy without asking me a bunch of questions!!!!"

Hugs,
Kate

[**Peg**]

yet ANOTHER reason I love living alone LMAO!

**Peg**

[gfofbiguy]

so true Eddy, and when THIS woman says "fine" you have to know it aint hehe ....so proceed with caution LOL.

**Peg**


Oh yeah Peg....you are sooo right...."Fine" means "you've messed up big time but right now I don't have the energy to deal with it and I would rather you read my mind and figure out how to make me happy without asking me a bunch of questions!!!!"

Hugs,
Kate

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bluebiyou]

1. Don't 'objectify' her.
2. Read 'Men are from Mars...', or listen to the audio tapes... or is there a video yet?
3. Ignore marital contract:
a. Once either of you 'objectifies' each other, expectations (and often abuse) follow (see #1). Expectations are the death of a relationship.

b. Remember and treasure that at any given moment you can walk away a free man. (Therefore anything you give her is a gift freely given, no strings. You have the freedom and right to say "No." to anything she asks without consequence)
c. Remember and treasure that at any given moment she can walk away a free woman. (Her gifts are true love, freely given, no strings. She has the freedom and right to say "No." to anything you ask without consequence)
4. Women are very different animals. They operate under very different 'rules'. Their rules are just as valid as ours. To understand... see #2.
5. Remember, that by their very nature, a woman understands and caters to you much, much more than we can understand and cater to women. (This is not written in stone, but is very much the natural majority/typical).
6. Philosophical considerations:
6a. You have no choice over who, what, or when you fall in love; it either happens or it doesn't. If it happens either accept it/love/her as is - package deal, or leave it - walk away.
6b. If you love someone, love them. (If you feel the feeling of love, you serve yourself best by -action verb- loving them)

Final Note: nowhere in this text did you see 'try to change them'. This is as universal as the golden rule.

[bigregory]

Yes dear you mother can come live with us for the winter.
Please shoot me..

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOL Mage-honey, thank you so much for the laugh, I really Needed it. *Kiss to your cheek."
And Kate, Right On, Girlfriend..And you tell em, Peg! lol :}
Cat.

[frenchvikki]

Just do as you are told and behave. We ask no more.

[texasman6172003]

Having lived in a household that consists of a husband and two very large sons, I want to applaud you for this public service!!! Amen to the sitting down!!!! If you're too tired to aim, then sit down and make life easier for all involved!! LOL!!!

And as long as you're taking suggestions as to what men can do to get along with women:

1. Don't always try to tell us how YOU would do something if it were up to you.....if you're so damn much better at it...then just do it! Don't just stand there looking over our shoulders and tell us what you would do if it were you!!

2. Don't try to placate the dreaded PMS onslaught with jokes....better to just take the pain in silence then try to hide.

3. We know you have a penis and it's very nice...but do we really need to see it 24/7???

4. Please don't expect us to believe that sex does, in fact, CURE EVERYTHING!! We simply refuse to believe that we will get over our headaches, our cramps, our sore ankles, our rashes, our toothaches... etc etc... if we have sex.

I hope you all know this is in jest....but for the record....do remember what I said LOL!!!

Hugs,
Kate

Well Kate,THOSE are part of the REASON'S i don't want to be a woman!!! :eek: And just remember that WASN'T said in jest,LOL...:tong:

[Bluebiyou]

MRS. Bluebiyou says:
"Our brains might have developed the way they did because cavemen and cavewomen had very defined roles to ensure their survival. Our male ancestors hunted and needed to travel long distances in pursuit of game. Strong navigational skills allowed men to become better hunters and providers. A man had to depend on himself to find his way home. In those days, asking for directions was not always an option.
Our female ancestors gathered food near the home and cared for the children. They formed strong emotional attachments to their children and the other women, on whom they depended when the men were hunting. Women had to track their immediate environment as they gathered nuts and berries for survival. Maybe that's why women today have the ability to find things around the home and in the refrigerator that their partners seem to be incapable of seeing."
(...quoting from 'Why Mars&Venus collide')
Mrs. Bluebiyou continues:
"If you want to understand women, hold a second, you did not (type), stop that. There you go, okay I highlighted the next part of it...
Would you please not... just tell them that you already do, and just put in that (pointing to new highlighted text)."
"A woman's brain has a larger corpus callosum, the bundle of nerves that connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain. This link, which produces cross-talk between the hemispheres, is 25 percent smaller in men. In practical terms, this means men do not connect feelings and thoughts as readily as women do. In a very real sense, women have superhighways connecting their feelings to speech, while men have back roads with plenty of stop signs."
Mrs. Bluebiyou is currently cussing and fussing while cleaning up the mess (mostly from Mr. Bluebiyou) in the bathroom.
She was cussing and fussing that I was typing precisely what she was saying, mid topic. :)
When Mr. Blubiyou asked Mrs. if she had anything else to say, she said "Um hold on... let me make sure what I said came out right without offending anyone... that it came out right."
(very long pause until Mrs. Bluebiyou reaches emotional satisfaction at cleaning of the bathroom.) (Good God! She's mopping every square inch of the shit room!... making sure to get every corner and niche! A female obsession, clearly, I must patronize -as sincerely as possible- , clearly).
"Wow! Darlin! The bathroom looks great; very clean!" says Mr. Bluebiyou. Mrs. Bluebiyou says:
"I don't want to be like female Chauvanist. So I'll put like... where's the book? Oh, okay and that will be part of my closing statement so 'she seems like' OH MY GOD. Lemme finish the bathroom (Finish?!?!?!?!?!?!? exclaims Mr. Bluebiyou in his mind).
"Our brains developed with gender differences to ensure our survival. These adaptations have taken thousands of years to occur. It is unrealistic to expect our brains to change suddenly to adapt to the vast changes in our gender roles in the last fifty years. These changes are at the core of the stress that is causing Mars and Venus to collide. If we are to thrive and not just survive, we need to update our relationship skills in ways that reflect our natural abilities tendencies, and needs."
And closing:
"See looky here, that's whats what was in one bedroom... and that's how all the alergens get in here... and that's the way its been for a month... thats part of why we have hardwood floors. If we had carpet it would be there FOR-EV-ER."
So, as part of a formal closing statment, Mrs Bluebiyou says:
"Honesty, sincerely, and yourself.. that yourself should be represented by your intentions."
And in Ronald Reagan form, she adds:
"And may God bless"
Hell, I'll vote for her! says Mr. Bluebiyou... although at times, I have no clue whatsoever about what she's talking about.

[Bluebiyou]

So therefore, I, returning Mr. Bluebiyou,

say:

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

Floating in this shapeless ocean of estrogen insanity, I say:
"Yes, I see ", "yes you're right, dear" (although I have no clue) because it makes her feel better; and I learned and decided to acknowledge, accept, and treasure her amplified and discongruent feelings... whatever the hell they are.. at this particular moment... as opposed to the previous moment... because
enlightenment angels please provide back ground ambiance singing...
to love and accept someone's feelings is to love and accept that person.

[Bluebiyou]

Mrs Bluebiyou says:
After finding out everything I said was being printed, I was cleaning my house I was just running my mouth. But the truth of the book is real. Just read it. Okay, bye.

(*Mrs Bluebiyou was feeling a little insecure that her ongoing emotional output should be put directly to text, that she felt she had to justify to y'all -Mr. Bluebiyou*)

Due to threats with a loaded 'feather duster', Mr. Bluebiyou will not be quoting verbatum Mrs. Bluebiyou... for at least a while!

[Lorcan]

when they say, "Do what you want to do"....and you do it, you're gonna be in big trouble.

But really, sex does cure a lot ;)

[apple001]

There is a same question on M a r r y M i l l i o n a i r e . C o m,it is a celeb dating site. many hot girls and guys gave their ideas.

[allbimyself]

There is a same question on M a r r y M i l l i o n a i r e . C o m,it is a celeb dating site. many hot girls and guys gave their ideas.

Thank you so much for coming to this site and spamming. You have no idea how much we appreciate it.

[warmpuppy]

1. Don't compete with women.
2. Be interested in and respect their points of view.
3. Listen!!!

[Ninnian]

Gee, I kinda liek to be competed with, as long as its friendly--

but really, I must be a simpletom - To get along with *me* , my bi man seems to follow a few simple guidelines:

He pees sitting down at NIGHT or when he's real tired. He reminds our 11 yr old son to do teh same. (now if he just would!)
He doesn't lie to me. He knows that even if I get angry with what he said(and franklly, he's more laid back than I am)... I'll get over it and want to talk about it later.

He understands that Hormones can make a woman feel aweful ,and do things they wish they didnt (liek cry at commercials and get all snippy)

...and the most Important ?... he knows that Chocolate heals anything. Not sex. In fact, he knows that Dark chocolate is in itself a mystic and divine gift to woman. He knows to offer it and 'something salty' when its my Time. "yes, Love!... and would you liek some chocolate with that??"

Asking for a whole list of "thou shalts and hsalt Nots" seems counter productive to me. Praise Him that Tries, and Loves and will not b*tch about taking us out to dinner Just becuase "Ive had a rough day".... :D

I remember NOT to take him for granted, and remind him often how much I enjoy just becuase he wouldnt take "No" for an answer when he met me! :D

Nin

[raistkit]

the sun is shining, and the birds are singing, and i am wearing the biggest smile on the face of the planet. i luv my bi guy, why because he does the unexpected. usual morning up at 4:00 am, get the coffee going, kiss raist as he leaves for his commute to work. check the emails, and start the housework. heard a car pull into the driveway, peek out the window (still in my pjs). raist decided to take a snow day(don't see any snow). he just decided to spend the day with me, and yes we just made awsome love:). that's what i like about bi guys you do seem to be more sensitive to your lover's needs. yes he does sit to pee in the middle of the night, now whether that's being sensitive, or after 30 yrs together he just does not want to listen to me bitch while i'm cleaning the bathroom is another thing. just wanted to say i love my bi guy, he's the only guy i've ever heard of driving home in a blizzard, who stopped to pick up bamboo plants, just because he saw them and knew they'de make me smile, butt that's another story. just wanted to say ladies it's well worth the craziness of the comming out, if your not careful you just might find your best friend, i know i did.

kit

[darkeyes]

Has the world upsetya jus a lil Flexi babes??? Cosya dus talk such rot... ya reely don like ne1 or very much do ya??

[**Peg**]

How to get along with a Woman? It's simple, you don't!

I have no idea how het/bi men can live/put up with most women or how lesbians can live with each other.

interesting comment coming from a person who filled out the profile as 'female'.:rolleyes:

[FerociousFeline]

How to get along with a Woman.

(or, various attempts at creating harmony by FerociousFeline)

That's a tough one.

For me, with the exception of my ex, (which obviously THAT attempt didn't work)

Here are a few things that I do.

First and foremost, I encourage her to communicate. I want it all. The good, the bad, what pisses her off, what she loves about me etc.

All women desire (and sometimes I think they secretly believe) for their partners to read their mind. I'm amazingly good at this, but past experience has shown me that even the smallest things that slipped past my amazing radar can be more than enough to destroy a relationship. SO. Next, I form a list of what I believe SHE THINKS her responsibilities are.

Then I set about trying to assist her in accomplishing her tasks. Why? Because I prefer my ladies to be light and fun and full of excitement and not down and drug out because of the many MANY things they are tracking that I am not aware of. I like lots of hugs and cuddles and I seem to GET them when she is feeling good, or caught up, and the converse is true when she isn't.

Next I attempt to "train" my woman that I am not like other men. I am both fully aware that I have the capacity of being the equivalent of a bit "bitchy". I attempt to teach her that as she has HER "period", so do I. I encourage her to treat me as she would another woman who is experiencing distress when she spots it in me, and also encourage her to teach ME when she sees it happening. (because I'm fairly self aware, but I can always use improvement) I always thought that this aspect of me was "fallout" from my being so deeply connected to the feminine energy within. Several of my women have dealt with this moodswing of mine by realizing that this is a time where it is both appropriate and sometimes helpful for them to be the dominant in our relationship.

This brings me to the next item. Dominance and submission. Who plays what and when. Don't leave the switching pattern up to chance. Instead, Map it out with your sweety.

I find that it also helps if you both can be self aware enough to sit down at the table together and each make a list of your own most glaring personality challenges, along with a list of your sweeties greatest attributes. Then swap lists and come up with a strategy of how each can assist the other in recognizing and working on those issues that need working on. It helps to have a code word so that if in the heat of the moment one of you goes into that "mode" then the other one can call out the code word to stop the behavior in it's tracks. No harm, No foul.

I could sit here and write all day about how to get along with another person, er, I mean Woman, but the truth of the matter is very simple.

I find the most success when I am dealing with a person who can realize that I have as many vulnerabilities as they do, and that it is okay to push my buttons when I am feeling strong, but not when I am feeling weak. It is up to me to teach them to know when I am feeling strong, and when I am feeling weak. I must provide them with the tools necessary to effectively navigate those times.

Hope this helps,

Love

FF

[smokey]

It helps to remember that all women are bisexual... the more you buy them the more sexual they become. :bigrin::bigrin::bigrin:

[**Peg**]

wow FF I am mightily impressed! You touched on some important aspects that I had completely forgotten about, specifically:

Then I set about trying to assist her in accomplishing her tasks. Why? Because I prefer my ladies to be light and fun and full of excitement and not down and drug out because of the many MANY things they are tracking that I am not aware of. I like lots of hugs and cuddles and I seem to GET them when she is feeling good, or caught up, and the converse is true when she isn't.

my only caveat about "helping" is that I might suggest the man always ask if she would like you to help her FIRST. Do not assume that she does.

Peg

[**Peg**]

Ok you Bi men out there....
You're a pain in the ass to begin with, and a challange to be a mate to for any woman..

I must disagree mage. It has been my personal experience that bi men are much more considerate of women than are their str8 counterparts when it comes to the toiletseat :tong:

Peg

[mindfinding]

How to get along with women is easy.

1. Find one that meets your expectations.

2. Make sure you meet hers.

3. Don't be an ass and act like a gentleman.

4. Expect the same from her, only expect her to act like a lady.

Now have fun, be funny, live life, all that jazz. When you hit a speed bump, re-check rules 1 though 4.

Don't expect a circle to act like a square, which is to say, people can only be who they are. And, be sure that you are the catch to her you are expecting her to be.

Also, if she needs to be in control, run the other way. Emasculating women will usually make for a miserable relationship...but then so do over powered men.

[thesea]

Has the world upsetya jus a lil Flexi babes??? Cosya dus talk such rot... ya reely don like ne1 or very much do ya??

http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/laughing22.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)

[vittoria]

interesting comment coming from a person who filled out the profile as 'female'.:rolleyes:
AMEN!

[vittoria]

yeah I am a woman, a butch woman at that. You don't like it? Tough shit.

I know that you're black and all but don't act like you know what's best for me and cut the fake baptist/Christian crap.


LLOL!!! Wow! She has a severe problem with "black" people, doesnt she? Geez makes me wish I was "black"! LMAO

And as I boogie down to "Bye bye bye" in the style of Backstreet Boys( :bigrin:), "Amen" is a phrase denoting agreeance, not necessarily 'baptist', Christian, or otherwise. The education level is impeccable :)

[darkeyes]

LLOL!!! Wow! She has a severe problem with "black" people, doesnt she? Geez makes me wish I was "black"! LMAO

And as I boogie down to "Bye bye bye" in the style of Backstreet Boys( :bigrin:), "Amen" is a phrase denoting agreeance, not necessarily 'baptist', Christian, or otherwise. The education level is impeccable :)

"So b it" 2 b precise o yummie V.... fear not..me has no issue wiv cola:tong:... an amen 2 that an all!!!:bigrin:

[the sacred night]

There is no one way that will work with all of the 3 billion people we call "women." We are all different, just like men are all different. Just treat others with respect, regardless of gender.

[the sacred night]

4. Women are very different animals. They operate under very different 'rules'. Their rules are just as valid as ours. To understand... see #2.
5. Remember, that by their very nature, a woman understands and caters to you much, much more than we can understand and cater to women. (This is not written in stone, but is very much the natural majority/typical).


I'm sure you meant well by saying these things, but it makes me really sad to read them. This is a cultural stereotype of women, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because when you bring someone up with a set of expectations, they'll probably fulfill them, some to a greater extent than others. "Natural majority" and "typical" are two different things. Women are brought up by society to be one way and men are brought up to be another way, and we shouldn't assume something is "natural" just because it's common, because then are the ones who don't fit the stereotype "unnatural"? It makes me sad to see all this "gentleman" and "lady" stuff, because it's all a bunch of gender-based stereotypes and molds we're supposed to fill. I don't want to receive flowers or have doors opened for me, and certainly not just because I'm a woman. I want a man who will just be himself, and I'll return the favor.

[jem_is_bi]

Agreed, the guy is so backwards in his thinking that he thinks that ugh "everyone is bisexual", meaning every single human being on this planet, and that dykes are that way because they've been raped or molested by men. :rolleyes:

That is a really crude comment. Is this just being you? Or, did you get a parking ticket and have a pigeon shit on your head and dog piss on your shoe today?

[jamieknyc]

Treat her with some respect

Treat her like a lady, and behave like a gentleman

Clean up after yourself (she isn't your housekeeper)

Don't do crude and disgusting behavior, or at least keep it within reasonable limits

Be reasonable about little things

[*pan*]

hmmmmm, all sounds like good advice, but hey listen up to one who has 2 wives is bisexual and all three get along fine includeing our sex together. treat eachother as you'd want to be treated. yep just be one of the couple or triad instead of trying to control. also about the messes in the bathroom well some people are just messy what can i say. i for one am not because i give the same consideration there as i do anything else. it's a way of life for me and if an accident does happen, clean it up and don't expect someone else to clean up your messes for you, your not a child anymore lol. i hear a lot of talk of love but if you truly love someone you will sit back and watch them grow and not hinder or try to control them. we are free spirits that just happen to find oneanother. not owners or controlers of anothers life.

[Mr. Magick]

Anyone notice that there isn't much advice on how to keep a man happy? I'll go ahead and do it. It won't take long.

Sex lots and lots of sex...and food, foods good too. :bibounce:

[darkeyes]

Anyone notice that there isn't much advice on how to keep a man happy? I'll go ahead and do it. It won't take long.

Sex lots and lots of sex...and food, foods good too. :bibounce:

Wy we wanna do that??:rolleyes:

[Mr. Magick]

Wy we wanna do that??:rolleyes:

You have something against Food?:eek:

[darkeyes]

You have something against Food?:eek:

Depends on siza me arse at ne given moment in time.. certainly nowt gainst sex...wos ratha thinkin bout the pleasin men bit...:bigrin::tong:

[chook]

Let's see...how to get along with a woman....hmmmmm. The best advice I was given was to "Dine them Wine them and feed them on Bullshit" Worked just great for me. :)




Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[Delilah]

This is not the Air Force. Don't Aim High!! LOL