Things seem to have settled down

[12voltman59]

Knock on wood--but it seems that a certain person has thankfully moved on---taking from the Harry Potter books and movies---the person in question is like Voldemort--or "he who shall not be named!"

It has been several days since "he who shall not be named" has not posted in several days--to me--it feels like a bad storm that had stalled and would not move on--finally dissapated and now clear, sunny skies are returning.

I don't have a problem with people having strong opinions on things and expressing them--goodness knows I am that way---but one does not need to just keep on hashing and rehashing things ad nauseum--

The worst thing about the way "he who shall not be named" operated---he was obviously a very negative person--and he liked to spread his negativity around---certainly a case to prove the old saying "misery loves company."

"He who shall not be named" also liked to engage in personal attacks and that lead some of us to respond in kind---and for that--I have to put in my mea culpa on that score--so for that--I am sorry that I did fall into the nasty game as well---it is not the way I like to do things----but when you get attacked---it does raise your ire--I mean I am human and as The Bard said--"tickle me, do I not laugh??--prick me, do I not bleed?"

I do want to appeal to everyone on here---let's have our "vigorous" and lively discussions on things--but can we please do so in a civil and respectful manne??r---while we are diverse people with diverse views on things---we do not have to resort to making personal attacks.

Other than the situation with "he who shall not be named"--it bothered me that some people made negative comments about the photo accompanying the feature article, especially when we learned the photo was of the editor of the board.

Well--just my thoughts on some things---and may we get things more back to our normal--whatever the heck that is!!!:bigrin::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[The Barefoot Contess]

Oh, you are such an optimist. Just wait.

[sometimesitbethatway]

Over my head, maybe I am too new to know what the deal is.

bye Voldemort (whoever you are)

[Skater Boy]

Er... "he who shall not be named"? :confused: We're not talking about George "Dubya" Bush are we?

Several people spring to mind actually. I won't name any of them, but they've all been either banned or just got bored and wandered elsewhere.

But ya... a little peace and quiet is a good thing. (as long as I'm still allowed to make the occasional frivolous and somewhat random post, that is)

[BronzeBobby]

Now everyone will be stressing out at their computers, wondering if they are "the one who shall not be named." Maybe it would be easier just to name the person you're referring to, especially for the benefit of us new folks and/or people who don't read all the threads on the forum (for example, I only read one or two out of every ten, and I tend not to go back and check on a thread after I've already read it once.)

[bisexualinsocal]

No, the fascist dreams have not come true.

I have not been banned.

[BronzeBobby]

No, the fascist dreams have not come true.

I have not been banned.

Are you outing yourself as the one who shall not be named? Are you sure it's you?

:tongue:

[bisexualinsocal]

Are you outing yourself as the one who shall not be named? Are you sure it's you?

:tongue:

lol..

[alaskacouple]

Oh, you are such an optimist. Just wait.

I fear that "The Barefoot Contess" is right. But I agree with you "12 Volt", it is stimulating and informative to have "lively discussions". But, there will always be those who are not very adept at civil conversation who will intrude and become unpleasant. We meet them in everyday life from time to time and find ourselves repulsed by the negative energy exuding from them. However unpleasant these types are, I hate to see us become reluctant to engage in the more controversial topics for fear that they may become ugly. For the most part everyone is thoughtful and has a meaningful point of view in these type of conversations. It is only the few who have nothing to contribute except animosity, and for those few there is always the "ignore feature" which instantly restores a sense of personal calm to the discussion. IMO, if we let the fear of the conflict that these "uglies" sometimes interject into a discussion prevent us from having them, we loose the opportunity to discuss many topics of importance and interest to us all.

If I knew how to do a poll thread, I would ask a simple question - "Do you desire to have controversial topics on the Forum?" Yes or No

I realize that some people come to forums such as this one to relax and get away from the "heavy issues of life" and just want to chat about casual stuff. Others, do enjoy hearing the opinions of others (especially others who share somewhat in a very special aspect of who we are as bisexuals). The only unknown is how many fall into each group. I know that I for one do not wish to interject topics of conversation into the forum that the majority don't want to have there.

[DiamondDog]

I don't keep track of people here to know who it is.

[Skater Boy]

N'kay lets see... who was kicking up a raucous a while back? Well, there obviously Mage and DD, but since they're both still alive and kicking, it looks doubtful to be either of them.

Then there was... uhhm... Lasha Lane, with her... somewhat controversial views on inter-racial sex.

Before that, there was "Sarasvati", who, although having been banned, is now back again... but doesn't frequent the forum that oft of late.

Who else? That "DriedFuck" [sic] person who was banned... and the "Oral" themed users who seemed quite intent on trolling.

Have I missed anyone? :tong:

[azirish]

Anyone who isn't knodding in sheepist agreement is a "trouble maker".

[Bluebiyou]

It's me.
I'm so ashamed of my public behavior.
Will anyone forgive me?

I think it's a great idea that bad behavior is directly addressed.
This is an attractive site; a nurturing, caring, and learning place; which makes it attractive to everyone needing love.

I realized I'm just an angry person who spouts at any slight. Sometimes a slight is not even necessary. I'm a planet of molten anger with a thin surface. The slightest piercing will cause an eruption... sometimes the pressure builds up from beneath and an eruption happens without provocation.

[Skater Boy]

No, the fascist dreams have not come true.

I have not been banned.

Oops... sorry- forgot one, lol. But he beat me to it. Sounds like someone has a guilty conscience...

[alaskacouple]

It's me.
I'm so ashamed of my public behavior.
Will anyone forgive me?

I think it's a great idea that bad behavior is directly addressed.
This is an attractive site; a nurturing, caring, and learning place; which makes it attractive to everyone needing love.

I realized I'm just an angry person who spouts at any slight. Sometimes a slight is not even necessary. I'm a planet of molten anger with a thin surface. The slightest piercing will cause an eruption... sometimes the pressure builds up from beneath and an eruption happens without provocation.

Blue,

That took a lot of courage! But you know what they say, admitting our shortcomings is the first step to overcoming them. I know that everyone here will support you on your recovery - and if you need help or financial assistance please let 12Volt know:tongue:

P.S. I forgive you man, I forgive you (said alaska with tears in his eyes...)

[diB4u]

I duck down as a large plane flies over my head.

Sorry i have no idea who the person is or isn't. I am clueless in this and many matters.

:bigrin:

Best way to be lol.:bigrin::bigrin:;)

[12voltman59]

I duck down as a large plane flies over my head.

Sorry i have no idea who the person is or isn't. I am clueless in this and many matters.

:bigrin:

Best way to be lol.:bigrin::bigrin:;)


That person has posted here--and if you just go and read the posts on here--I think it will become obvious of whom I speak----I can't read what this person says since I have him ignored--- so I don't know what he is saying---

I guess I was being too optimistic in thinking he was gone---but the peace was nice while it lasted!!

[bisexualinsocal]

Are you outing yourself as the one who shall not be named? Are you sure it's you?

:tongue:

LOL. Told you so.

[jem_is_bi]

If you post an opinion on a controversial issue and get attacked, what is wrong with that?
I would go crazy if everybody agreed with me on any topic. Then, I would be sure that what I believed had no merit.
Some differences of opinion need a little heat and others a lot of heated comment.
You do not have to thank them for their reply if they are rude.
However, I suggest that you fairly evaluate what they say and incorporate those criticisms that are valid into your view of the issue and feel thankful they took the time to give you feedback. Even if their comment is worded in a less than a diplomatic tone, it might not be complete crap.

[alaskacouple]

jem,

I think most everyone agrees with what you have said. I believe what 12Volt has been talking about is when people simply post mindless assaults intended to be confrontational without adding to the discussion. True, we can just ignore them but they do become tedious after awhile - somewhat likened to a toothache, not life threatening but most annoying.

But, I agree with your thought that it is pointless to have a discussion with only those who agree with you. But, we can hope that those who disagree are educated and able to present their views in a normal manner, otherwise they just take up space and get the thread sidetracked (which is probably there goal, as this shifts all of the attention onto them - somewhat pathetic, but I say dayum! get a life somewhere else if you can't add constructively.)

[12voltman59]

jem,

I think most everyone agrees with what you have said. I believe what 12Volt has been talking about is when people simply post mindless assaults intended to be confrontational without adding to the discussion. True, we can just ignore them but they do become tedious after awhile - somewhat likened to a toothache, not life threatening but most annoying.

But, I agree with your thought that it is pointless to have a discussion with only those who agree with you. But, we can hope that those who disagree are educated and able to present their views in a normal manner, otherwise they just take up space and get the thread sidetracked (which is probably there goal, as this shifts all of the attention onto them - somewhat pathetic, but I say dayum! get a life somewhere else if you can't add constructively.)


What I am talking about is going round and round and round with some people on certain points---on something that neither side is going to get the other to come to any sort of agreement about---what is the point of continuing the discussion??? Feelings just get bent out of shape and all you do is just sew dissension and negativity----once you have made your point about some topic-- say three or four times---that is more than enough--got to let it go, move on and when it comes down to it---life is just too damn short to get your knickers in a knot about shit you can't do one damn thing about anyhow!!!!

[bigregory]

Hey Alaskacouple if you want to add a poll it's easy.
Just start a new thread then scroll down to the bottom and you will find the poll link.


Lets all play nice and happy Easter to all..:flag3:

[jem_is_bi]

What I am talking about is going round and round and round with some people on certain points---on something that neither side is going to get the other to come to any sort of agreement about---what is the point of continuing the discussion??? Feelings just get bent out of shape and all you do is just sew dissension and negativity----once you have made your point about some topic-- say three or four times---that is more than enough--got to let it go, move on and when it comes down to it---life is just too damn short to get your knickers in a knot about shit you can't do one damn thing about anyhow!!!!

It takes more than one person to go round and round and some issues have multiple aspects and require multiple rounds for a complete discussion. Yes, this can be annoying when extremely polarized views are (sometimes crudely) expressed and defended. However, in a public exchange of views you have to expect some rough treatment. The alternative is to form your own discussion group composed of skilled debaters or attend such an event. Many such "civilized" discussions are available on CSPAN. Although, I do not remember viewing one on "spit or swallow". So on some issues, there will not be a good alternative to this forum.
Rather, I become very displeased when emotions get out of control and discussion of issues is replaced by hurtful personal attack that has nothing to do with any legitimate issue.

[Bluebiyou]

...
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: CAN be!
Man: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but that's not just saying "no it isn't".
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
...
(from the vaults of Monty Python)

But yes sometimes, here on this web site, the arguing seems more tapping into and expressing anger (sometimes abusively) than a genuine defending of a point of significant belief. Most folks have learned prudence/social skills and will drop subjects rather than become hostile and abusive.
But of course, there are points that people validly defend with a passion. Let some guy come in here and state something stupid, like "marriage is a contract of consent therefore there is no such thing as a husband raping his wife". Just watch the girls (quite validly) shred his ass to pieces.
I think a valid self test is if any more than 1 in 10 of your posts involve hate/anger/insults... you might have a problem with anger. More specifically, you are an angry person and should look into why you're so angry.
Or just stay angry and get put on peoples 'ignore' list.:)

[the mage]

It's me.
I'm so ashamed of my public behavior.
Will anyone forgive me?

I think it's a great idea that bad behavior is directly addressed.
This is an attractive site; a nurturing, caring, and learning place; which makes it attractive to everyone needing love.

I realized I'm just an angry person who spouts at any slight. Sometimes a slight is not even necessary. I'm a planet of molten anger with a thin surface. The slightest piercing will cause an eruption... sometimes the pressure builds up from beneath and an eruption happens without provocation.


One spanking.... to go..

[12voltman59]

Blue--thanks for the post--I think you pretty well nailed what I have been trying to say in other ways----

Like I said---if there is a truly good and honest back and forth debate going on---then that is great--but what we had here going on was like what goes on on one of those yack fests on one of the 24/7 cable news channels--you have the supposedly "objective" moderator/journalist in the middle and with the "liberal" guest on one side of the screen and the "conservative" guest on the other---then get the "conversation" going and very quickly it becomes a big shouting match with no one letting the other make their point and you can't hear anything because they just yell at each other----even the host gets into that game.

I hate that when it takes place on the tube and I hate it in real life or in here....

The only difference is that we didn't have a moderator to try to keep the fighting cats in some degree of check!!!

[bisexualinsocal]

It takes more than one person to go round and round and some issues have multiple aspects and require multiple rounds for a complete discussion. Yes, this can be annoying when extremely polarized views are (sometimes crudely) expressed and defended. However, in a public exchange of views you have to expect some rough treatment. The alternative is to form your own discussion group composed of skilled debaters or attend such an event. Many such "civilized" discussions are available on CSPAN. Although, I do not remember viewing one on "spit or swallow". So on some issues, there will not be a good alternative to this forum.
Rather, I become very displeased when emotions get out of control and discussion of issues is replaced by hurtful personal attack that has nothing to do with any legitimate issue.

That's too complicated for thought fascists. They'd rather ban all who disagree with their environmental religion.

[alaskacouple]

...
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: CAN be!
Man: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't!
Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position!
Man: Yes but that's not just saying "no it isn't".
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
...
(from the vaults of Monty Python)

But yes sometimes, here on this web site, the arguing seems more tapping into and expressing anger (sometimes abusively) than a genuine defending of a point of significant belief. Most folks have learned prudence/social skills and will drop subjects rather than become hostile and abusive.
But of course, there are points that people validly defend with a passion. Let some guy come in here and state something stupid, like "marriage is a contract of consent therefore there is no such thing as a husband raping his wife". Just watch the girls (quite validly) shred his ass to pieces.
I think a valid self test is if any more than 1 in 10 of your posts involve hate/anger/insults... you might have a problem with anger. More specifically, you are an angry person and should look into why you're so angry.
Or just stay angry and get put on peoples 'ignore' list.:)

Me; Blue, you said it all very well in this post.
Bad Guy; No he didn't!
Me; Yes I think he covered the subject with humor and made the point quite well.
Bad Guy; No he didn't!!!
Me; Why do you say that?
Bad Guy; He just didn't - and screw you for thinking he did!!!
Me; Mr Scott, engage "ignore feature". We've been attacked by an unintelligent life form.