reaction to young bisexuals

[xochristineox]

I truly do appreciate the new openess towards bisexuals in the media.
However, I am often frustrated by the reactions I recieve after talking about my sexuality. I am still a student and I have a sexual nature. This does not mean that I only wish to experiment or gain attention. Just because I am a young woman who naturally attracts people, does not mean that I just want to get attention.
I find that because the media has made "girl on girl action" a major turn on, people assume that I only seek women in order to have men be attrcted to me.
I love women just as much as I love men, and I am equally attracted to both genders. How can I show friends and possible love interests (both bis and lesbians) that I am sincere in my orientation?

[soulseeker]

An interesting conundrum and one which all true bisexuals encounter...not straight enough, and not gay enough...at least that's what I experience as a male...it is probably quite different for a female given, as you say, that there is a kind of fashion attached to FF which makes it acceptable and even desirable for straight people, and as you say, then makes it difficult to express your honesty in regard to your sexuality...whew! a run on sentence if there ever was one...but to carry on...I see sexuality as being degraded by labelling...defintely in favour of the "sexual continuum" which makes the labels insignificant.

[kitten]

Be sincere and don't settle for less than you desire. It may take time but is worth the wait. For those that do not understand or accept, that is not your problem or responsibility to make them get it.
Stay true to yourself!

Hugs,

[Bluebiyou]

I love women just as much as I love men, and I am equally attracted to both genders. How can I show friends and possible love interests (both bis and lesbians) that I am sincere in my orientation?
You can't.
If they believe, they will see. If they don't believe, they won't.
It is treacherous to depend on the opinion of others.
But you are a young woman and the importance of the acceptance of your social circle - all those around you - is so unnecessarily important (by us, outside perspectives).
But you don't need to be told this. You are where you are and your feelings of needing acceptance and understanding are absolutely valid.
Just be yourself, darling. As corny and 1960s as it may sound; it is valid. You just be true to yourself and to hell with those who can't accept you.

[Lisa (va)]

I have to agree with Bluebiyou, you only have control of how you think and feel, you can't make others feel other than the way they feel.
Being bisexual may mean different things to different folks, thus adding to the illusion of what being bisexual is, it is what it is for each individual.
I have found that when discussing sexuality I find folks more accepting when I say that's how I feel about it and not try to convince them it's the right way and only way to feel.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[DiamondDog]

Queer youth just don't give a fuck!
:cool: :) :bigrin: :paw:

[jem_is_bi]

Queer youth just don't give a fuck!
:cool: :) :bigrin: :paw:

That is HILARIOUS!!!! I am still smiling and happy in my soul.
It make me laugh and feel great because, it reminds me of the attitude of the 19 year old me.
That attitude and a little intelligence, is a great foundation for a good creative life.

[the mage]

I truly do appreciate the new openess towards bisexuals in the media.
However, I am often frustrated by the reactions I recieve after talking about my sexuality. I am still a student and I have a sexual nature. This does not mean that I only wish to experiment or gain attention. Just because I am a young woman who naturally attracts people, does not mean that I just want to get attention.
I find that because the media has made "girl on girl action" a major turn on, people assume that I only seek women in order to have men be attrcted to me.
I love women just as much as I love men, and I am equally attracted to both genders. How can I show friends and possible love interests (both bis and lesbians) that I am sincere in my orientation?


simple.. pick one individual of one sex to love and have sex with for a few years. If you both enjoy it, you then find playmates together.

[welickit]

In our experience, you just haven't met the right people yet. Friends or otherwise.:bipride:

[someotherguy]

I truly do appreciate the new openess towards bisexuals in the media.
However, I am often frustrated by the reactions I recieve after talking about my sexuality. I am still a student and I have a sexual nature. This does not mean that I only wish to experiment or gain attention. Just because I am a young woman who naturally attracts people, does not mean that I just want to get attention.
I find that because the media has made "girl on girl action" a major turn on, people assume that I only seek women in order to have men be attrcted to me.
I love women just as much as I love men, and I am equally attracted to both genders. How can I show friends and possible love interests (both bis and lesbians) that I am sincere in my orientation?

Ah, the age of "being misunderstood". I remember back then. Damn world doesn't know enough to treat you as it should. I say nuke the fuckers and start over from scratch with an advanced race of mind readers whose anticipatory excellence suits your sensibilities to a T. Just my opinion. I don't expect you to take it the right way. Nobody ever does. They don't understand me. OK, I crack myself up.

There are no such things as "them, They, society, the media, or most people". There is only what you project out into the world based on your fledgling opinions. In time you will learn to ignore anyone whose existence does not benefit your own.

[wutheringheights]

There are no such things as "them, They, society, the media, or most people". There is only what you project out into the world based on your fledgling opinions. In time you will learn to ignore anyone whose existence does not benefit your own.[/QUOTE]

Do you actually believe that?
'There is only what you project out into the world based on your fledgling opinions' = Sartre to the power of 100 and patronizing to boot.
Is oppression all in the imagination of the oppressed? Are alienation and misunderstanding simply 'young people's problems'?
In response to the initial thread question though, I do think you can exhaust yourself trying to prove your sincerity.... but that's not an issue of being young, it's an issue of being sincere.

[Cesca]

Queer youth just don't give a fuck!
:cool: :) :bigrin: :paw:

Some dont Diamond Dog. But most do. I do. The sense of isolation many of us have and do feel about many things not simply our sexuality exist and we do care. Our trouble is that many of us are unable to articulate just how much we do feel about things and so as a disguise many of todays youth feign a "who cares?" attitude. Many more than you appear to believe. Their inability to articulate how much they do care often leads them into a clash with the authorities and with the older generation.

[Papelucho]

You should get a t-shirt that says:

Seriously, I'm equally attracted to both genders.
;)

[shameless agitator]

Ok, I will have to yet again call on that great philosopher, Dr. Seuss.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

[FerociousFeline]

I prefer the shirt that says, something to the effect of, "yes I sleep with women and men and no that doesn't mean you" kinda thing. (cracks me up)

You know, I'm figuring out that part of the distress created by the whole "yes I am bi, yes I like sex" bit when it comes to trying to fit into a society which basically abhors itself, and anyone who doesn't also abhor themselves is MOST of the problem that bisexuals have.

So far, I haven't seen too much of a "commonality" among perspectives when it comes to how bisexuals self identify during same sex connections. It's extremely curious though. For example, some men (who are with men) are more feminine when they are WITH men. However, they are less feminine when with women.

Others much retain their original masculinity regardless of whether they are with men OR women.

And others seem to be more of a balanced yin/yang androgeny from the get go. These Men are softer men with men and softer men with women.

So it seems within the category of being bi that there is such a huge spectrum of types and personality that it's amazing that we can all get along.

Oh, I forgot one class:

Then there are the men who are mixing traditional traits of opposite gender identifications and making a new way to be masculine.....and feminine.


Anyway, It's no wonder the younger bisexuals are not certain of how to behave, or think or feel. None of us really do I guess. The main thing is that they should feel secure in themselves and recognize that HOW they decide to BE bisexual is a buffet of many different attributes, and that there is no right or wrong answer....other than what is right....for them. Also it's important for them to realize that it's likely best not to set ANY way of being into stone.....as....time and experience may shift their perspective a bit.

[someotherguy]

I truly do appreciate the new openess towards bisexuals in the media.
However, I am often frustrated by the reactions I recieve after talking about my sexuality. I am still a student and I have a sexual nature. This does not mean that I only wish to experiment or gain attention. Just because I am a young woman who naturally attracts people, does not mean that I just want to get attention.
I find that because the media has made "girl on girl action" a major turn on, people assume that I only seek women in order to have men be attrcted to me.
I love women just as much as I love men, and I am equally attracted to both genders. How can I show friends and possible love interests (both bis and lesbians) that I am sincere in my orientation?

How dare you defy the dictates of mass media? For shame, for shame. You must conform or perish.

[FalconAngel]

I have found, through the events of my life, that the biggest issue that we run into with being bisexual is not our sexuality so much as the fact that there are people, both straight and gay, that can only identify us as one or the other.

The straights call us gay, which is not really correct, and the gays call us either gay and hiding, gay and fence-sitting or straight.
These are the same ones that do not accept that bisexuality even exists. But part of that gay/straight stigma is because those people that do that don't understand bisexuality. These are the same folks that only see things in absolutes; black - white, gay - straight, up - down. It's just not possible for them to see a balance of things like that.

Now, if you happen to be fortunate enough to meet one that is willing to learn and understand, then you should explain it to them so that they do understand.

I have a friend who is Lesbian. We have been friends for more than 20 years and, at first, she didn't understand my bisexuality. Over time, she would ask me things about different girls and guys that I have liked and been with and she eventually understood.
Sometimes you have to just sit them down and talk to them about your sexuality for them to understand.

Of course, not everyone has had my advantage of knowing that I was Bi since I was a kid. But we all know how we feel about the different genders and that is what we can explain, even if we are just coming out as Bi.