Lack of Profiles! [Archive]

flawyer2000

Nov 29, 2005, 5:17 PM

I have a pet peeve that I felt I just needed to get off my chest.

Why do people neglect to write a profile? It isn't that hard and it makes it a lot more easier when chatting with someone if you know a little bit about them before you start a conversation. It also gives you some idea of what this person is like so you know if you might even be interested in knowing them better. I am not talking about "War and Peace", but just a few lines describing yourself. Having a "profile" without any information is like having a body with no face. They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, well how about putting some eyes to that profile.

Just my thought.

flawyer2000

onewhocares

Nov 29, 2005, 5:47 PM

You are quite right. Knowing more about the people you are chatting with, or looking for would indeed make getting to know them easier. More importanly to some extent would be what the person(s) is not looking for. Just a few select words would do wonder to give someone insight into the others "eyes". Having been told that my eyes are gates to my soul, I could not agree more.

Belle

wellred

Nov 29, 2005, 5:49 PM

wanderingrichard

Nov 29, 2005, 9:24 PM

i'm sort of taking the middle ground here.. i think..

i can well understand the position wellred has taken, and i tend to agree with him on the sign hanging out and judgement calls.. i've had it happen but i always figured that the people who truly want to know me will actually read it and then decide whether or not to contact me..

active participation in the fourms and chatrooms helps those who just fill out the truly basic information get well known too. however, there have been a few times when absolute minimal profile has worked to their detriment concerning my contacting them or vice versa.. many times i wont be in the mood to dig much beyond the profile info.. and in one or two cases , when i did try to contact someone with minimal profile info, surprise surprise, i couldnt, because there was NOT EVEN A link from this site that i could use to PM or email them. i'm not talking yahoo, aol, msn, or hotmail addresses, but the links included here on the profile.. i think the absolute bare minimum i've seen was a name and a location and thats it, not even a gender..

flip side; some of us are not giving out much information because we've been stalked, or had bad experiences with other sites. or any number of other self preservation reasons, or maybe we're cheating .. ok i can live with that too. as has been stated before, this great site has allowed us major leeway in what information we give out.. and why.. and it's a good thing..just remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Ratchick

Nov 29, 2005, 10:13 PM

I am with WanderingRichard here. Although I respect people's option not to post a profile, it does make it extremely difficult to be a community of people without any input as to who we are chatting with. *I* for one wont return emails or PM's I get from people with no profile.

What have you got to hide that you can't post a few lines of who you are or what you're lookign for? It't not like the profile can access any of your personal info. I find most folks that don't post are just "Hammers" looking for a quick jerk off of dirty talk,(Wich is nothing wrong, just boring to me).
They come into chat to find someone to cyber and leave. And that's cool, but not what I am looking for at all.

But, what I love about this space Drew has created is that it is very open and rule-free. So, you don't have to post a profile if you don't want. And this I can accept even if it does get on my nerves sometimes.
:bipride:
RC

equivoque

Nov 29, 2005, 11:04 PM

Ooohiknow

Nov 30, 2005, 2:36 AM

You are quite right...I'd never really thought about updating my profile. I'll get to it right now as I really like to see who I am talking to aswell ;)

csrakate

Nov 30, 2005, 3:56 AM

Hi Flawyer,

Somewhere in the forum archives is another thread of this nature. Yes, it does create an awkward situation for many who share your pet peeve.

When I first came here, I had a profile but took it down when situations occurred that left me feeling unduly exposed and vulnerable.

There are many reasons that a person may not wish to post a profile. They may feel that any profile does not give a true picture of whom they are and would rather have others discover a connection through chat, IM's, emails, or forums. They might not feel they are "cool" or clever or interesting as the other profiles suggest. They may just want to hang out here and discover their own windows to the soul.

For me, putting out a profile is like putting a tag on my ear and having others come by and make judgement calls about whether they think the label accurately reflects the merchandise. Get to know me, I'll share with you and we could grow into deep friends.

Gratefully, this site allows folks lots of options for how to present themselves and connect with those that best meet particular needs. It is wonderful that we have so many ways to honor our selfhood here.

- Red

I am beginning to feel somewhat like a Wellred groupie....but as always..he seems to have just the right thing to say about most things and they so very often mirror my own feelings...

Anyway..if I may offer my two cents on the subject...

I came to this site to learn...to learn more about bisexuality so that i could better understand my husband of 25 years...who, for those who may not know, told me of his bisexuality the night that he proposed. We are monogamous...yet I often found myself still preoccupied with thoughts and fears and decided that I needed to learn more. So I came to this site and it has be a wonderful experience. Not only do I understand him a lot more...I also understand myself a great deal more!...But back to the subject at hand. I didn't post a profile...didn't feel the need to since I didn't care about "hooking up" but I started hearing others complain about those of us without profiles and so I complied. For the most part, doing so has been a good thing. Very often I get messages from people who are in similar situations as mine and many times these individuals come to me seeking advice and/or comfort. For that reason I am glad that I posted a profile..to have a chance to give back so to speak. But I also receive ones that I find very upsetting. I get messages asking me if I am "sure" that my husband is faithful...I get requests for intimate details of our sex life and they are not seeking advice, I assure you...and the most frequent one...the offers to "fuck" my husband. I have toyed with the idea of pulling my profile because of these cranks...but because I truly believe that we are all here to help each other...I leave it for the ones that might truly need someone to talk to.

So please flawyer...try to understand that for some...not posting a profile goes deeper than just wanting to have a fly by night cyber session. As wellred said...get to know someone in chat and you may very well learn all you need to know. And if you are inundated with countless pm's from strangers...just tell them you are busy and move on. I assure you... I hardly ever look at profiles...not even profiles of the close friends I have made or the people that I chat with on a nightly basis. I know all that I need to know from taking the time to get to know them.

Hugs,
Kate

rupertbare

Nov 30, 2005, 5:45 AM

:) We've been here before on this one haven't we???!!!!! rofl!!!! It's a bit of a "Pet Peeve" for a few of us!!! lol!! :)

I had put up a profile almost as soon as I joined - but a bit sparse - and no picture (photo or otherwise) to accompany it. However, after talking in the chat room (and a lass putting her point very eloquently about the lack of photo.s), I soon realised that the QUICKEST way for folk to get to know us is to put up a bit about one's self and that the old adage " a picture speaks a thousand words" stuck up my first photograph (since relaced by a newer one - along with some illustrations - check them out!!).

Well that my :2cents:

But do plow (that's a UK spelling!! lol!!!) through the Threads - this lack of profiles/lack of pictures - has come up before and elicited some useful comments.

Love and Peace from the UK

Rupe.

Michael623

Nov 30, 2005, 11:04 AM

It is difficult for me to believe there are people out there who "prowl" gay and bi web sites looking for people to destroy. I guess I am very naive. I do think it is important for those who post ads to be truthful and post pictures to show who you are. I'll be the first to say it's far more important to be attracted to someone based on their personality but let's face it physical appearance is important. Isn't it! Who out there says it's not a consideration. What are you hiding?

An interesting thread would be about those who have actually suffered by posting ads with pictures.

Hugs,
Michael

flawyer2000

Nov 30, 2005, 11:28 AM

I want to clarify that my peeve does not have anything to do with pictures. I understand the need to be discrete (I don't have a picture up). It's simply the fact that when I look at some of the members and all it has is a nickname and a general location, I think it's a shame they wasted the time to join the site. Gee, I really want to talk to that person. I would be more inclined to contact someone with a profile that says where they are from and who they are looking for. If the purpose of this website is to foster relationships, then it makes sense to post some information about yourself so someone like me can make the decision to contact you. From that point on, if a picture is desired, you can make that decision.

arana

Nov 30, 2005, 11:50 AM

I got paid out on in a big way the other night (day in US) for not having a profile. Some-one called me "suspicious" and "un-trustworthy" Fact of the matter was I was/am new and just learning about how to do everything. I have no hidden agenda but I would definately suggest including a profile of some description to avoid unpleasant or upsetting instances like that. Thanks - great site :)

I'm sorry but no profile is not a reason to jump someone and give them a bad time. Can't a person just say they prefer not to speak to someone with no profile because ... and state the reason without being so rude and accussing them of alterior motives? Some people side with caution, some have no agenda's but to meet new people, chat and learn. Whatever the reason, most are happy to tell you about themselves and share a picture once they know you. Why is that so wrong? As far as contacting, maybe that's a hint? They don't want to be contacted. Sometimes I wonder about the person that is so adamant about needing the profile.
Also just because there is a profile and picture doesn't mean it's truthful. We've been through that here too. :2cents:

flawyer2000

Nov 30, 2005, 12:06 PM

Sometimes I wonder about the person that is so adamant about needing the profile.

Hmmmm....arana, sounds like I struck a nerve there! :tong:

Curiousity killed the cat, as they say.

flawyer

arana

Nov 30, 2005, 12:38 PM

Hmmmm....arana, sounds like I struck a nerve there! :tong:

Curiousity killed the cat, as they say.

flawyer

I just don't understand why people have to be vicious about it. I don't mean to pick on you Flawyer but I've been in the chat room a few times when this subject comes up and people will go right for the jugular without even asking the reason first. equivoque was new and jumped for it. I don't think that's right. Just because someone has a difference of opinion on profiles doesn't mean they should have a target on their forehead. There are far more important things in life to stress over.

equivoque

Nov 30, 2005, 1:58 PM

Sorry to go on about this -- but this "prowling" you are talking about. WTF is that all about????????? I could understand if you were an american politician (apparently they conceive immaculately) but why would anyone give a shit who chatted in here. It's not what I would consider hard-core embarrassing stuff like the XXXXXXX stuff u have all seen. What does a "prowler" precisely do? (THEY CAN PROWL ME - iM IN MY OWN WORLD--BUT THEY KNOW ME HERE)

FSJeepguy

Nov 30, 2005, 4:56 PM

I agree with the "pet peeve' of not enough folks having profiles.

As soon as I joined this site I posted mne, no pic just a bit about who I am and what I like. Seems only fair to let folks know a bit about me if theyd like to.

If anyone wants more information about me all they have to do is ask, either PM, e-mail or hit me if I'm in chat. I'll decide who I want to have more info, but I will say that those that don't feel like sharing basic info about themselves will get very little fromme until I know more about them.

Having said all of that I think everyone should just be polite and put whatever info they feel like in their profiles, but just don't ignore it.

Mrs.F

Nov 30, 2005, 5:51 PM

I, like Kate have joined this site for the same reason. To learn more about bisexuality, my husband and myself. And also like Kate, I have learned alot, met alot of caring people and most of all it's helped my husband and I deal with his bisexual side.
I found out about my husband after 10 yrs. of marriage. That was very difficult and I have struggled for awhile to accept and go on. Just when I feel I'm doing good, things are getting better I get the pm's from guys who "tell" me that my husband is still not telling me the whole truth. That he's probably been seeing men the whole time we have been married and he's just afraid to tell me everything. Then my security blanket has disappeared and I'm asking my husband if he's still lying to me. Some ask me what is the big deal about letting my husband have some fun on the side. "It's just sex"!
:) I do agree that chatting in the chat room with people and reading what people post will let you know what the person is all about and why they are here.

Timber136

Nov 30, 2005, 6:11 PM

Profile: A brief biographical essay (between proficient and profit)LOL.
Some people are new to this site and aren't sure what they want to do. Some might be cheating on their wifes or husbands. Some might be playing games? I've talked (e-mailed, PM) with quite a few people on this site and for the most part I've found that we're all here for our own reasons. whether it's to find sex, learn about sex, find people or, learn about people. (and ourselfs).
I personally don't care if someone has a profile or not. If I e-mail them (or PM) and they don't return my coorespondence, I understand. I belive that we (I) are afraid to 'come out' as bisexuals because of the problems that could ensue. I just like to live and let live (as long as NO ONE is getting hurt!).

On a lighter note; Maybe we could start a poll on rating picture's? Mine suck (how do you take picture's of yourself?) My vote (so far) would be for arana as #1. (she made me feel so welcome here and, hell, there great).

Hope no one is offended. :2cents:

JC

MintyFresh

Dec 3, 2005, 8:08 PM

It actually hadn't occurred to me that anyone might mind people not having profiles, but then I'm new here. I'd got the impression profiles were for people either looking for partners or new friends. I'm here because I am interested in discussing issues of sexuality, and perhaps can offer advice once in a while. However, I'll do a profile if that's the done thing...

Minty

MintyFresh

Dec 8, 2005, 7:57 AM

Nope, I had another look at the profile section, and it really is very brief. All the interesting stuff comes under the 'personal ad' heading, and as I don't wish to advertise myself I think it would be inappropriate to post one.

Minty

bediddle

Dec 8, 2005, 3:40 PM

I'm perfectly happy to have a profile up and all that jazz, but I do draw the line at pictures.

There are still a few people that I'm not out to and I'd just like to keep the outing of myself in my own hands. Posting my picture leaves me feeling like I'm giving up some of that control. I guess it might sound over paranoid but... well... I just don't want to put up my picture.

This is kind of a sore spot for me as in the last month I've encountered a number of people who have attacked my reluctance to make pictures available. And I don't mean that they were just dissappointed. I actually had people call me such things as cold, boring, and fag. I'll exchange pictures with people I'm interested in meeting and I'm not going to know if I'm interested in meeting someone after 2 lines in a PM.

:rolleyes:

</rant>

12voltman59

Dec 8, 2005, 6:12 PM

I can understand the reluctance of some who do not wish to post anything on their profiles--I had the experience when I first came on here that when I went into the chat room, I would almost immediately getting PM'ed by a number of people who, after only exchanging the most minimal amount of info about themselves, wanted to cyber---every single one had absolutely nothing in their profiles and I have found that beyond spending a few times in our chat room--they have rarely returned to the site.

I do see some regulars in the chat room with little or no profile info. It is possible to get to know them from what they contribute in the room, in posts in the forums or by providing more info via PMs.

From my time here--I would say to fellow members--do whatever you wish to in regards to posting info in your profile or not....its your life and your membership--you know what you are comfortable with....

usedbear1950

Dec 31, 2005, 10:09 AM

The attraction of this website is the people in the chat room and the threads. I feel that I have learned more about them from the chats and reading the threads than a profile or pic could ever reveal. There are people who I chat with almost everyday. If I were to see them in a passing train I would not know them from Adam. Yet if I were seated next to them at a dinner party I am sure that I would recognize them and they me. Of course I have posted photo but that aside we would know each other.
I have a mental picture of everyone I chat with, however the picture is based on heart rather than physical characteristics.
I must correct something, I erroneously credited katie with this thread and I apologize flawyer and katie. Senior moment.
My :2cents:

Biboz49

Jan 1, 2006, 2:27 PM

I agree with everyones posted replies. Everyone should be as anonymous as they are comfortable with. However I agree mostly with flawyer that a profile needs at least something even if it's just a few lines. Sometimes, although rarely lol, someone contacts me for an intial contact or meeting and before replying I check their profile. When the profile is blank to me its like should I really reply? How much does this person have to hide? Maybe I'm being too judgemental. Is it me? or does anyone else feel the same way.

12voltman59

Jan 1, 2006, 2:59 PM

Here is my take on the profile thing--OK--don't post anything in the parts that ask for more detailed info--from reading the posts from other folks about their reasons why they don't care too--I fully understand.

But for the sake of making it easier to engage in a conversation with someone--I would like to see at least some basic demographic information posted (info that should be required to be provided in order to have a membership) that includes the following: your city/state, your age range, your gender.

This is not being intrusive or asking for the disclosure of too much information--it is simply a way to allow people to learn at least a bit about you that might increase the likelihood that someone will chat with you.

When I am in the chatroom and I am not engaged in private myself--I like to try to acknowledge as many as people as possible who come in the room.

I will click on their profile to see that 'bicurinFL" comes from Florida---Ok--that's a start but Florida is one big state--I want to know--are you from Key West of from Tallahassee?--Thats a world of a difference--so much so that the two cities might as well be on different planets.

Letting us know where you are from is more likely to trigger someone talking to you--it is a good in and it saves from always having to ask these questions time and time again.... :banghead:

Just adding my :2cents: once again... :yinyang: :yinyang:

Driver 8

Jan 1, 2006, 5:15 PM

I currently have almost nothing in my profile, though I've been thinking about putting a few things there.

However ... I'm relatively new here. One reason I left my profile blank is that I'm not looking for sex, cyber, or a relationship; I'm only deciding what to add now based on what people ask me frequently.

I've found that in real life I'm often subject to unwelcome attention once people - especially, ESPECIALLY men - find out I'm bi. It's ranged from rudeness when I turn down their propositions to groping and harassing phone calls. (I still shudder remembering the guy who responded to several "No, absolutely not" with "How much money do you have in mind?") This makes me very reluctant to put much personal information out where it's visible - especially if it's easily usable to identify me in real life.

If I've talked to someone a little, and we're getting to know each other, I'm happy to tell them a little more. But, honestly, if people are in the main chat talking about limericks or Brokeback Mountain or famous bisexuals or whatever, what difference does it make what's in my profile? I like to think that what I'm contributing to the chat speaks for itself. The site also lets you search for posts I've made in the forum, if you'd like to see what I've had to say about other subjects. :2cents:

12voltman59

Jan 1, 2006, 5:53 PM

In my previous post a few above--my main point about just having a few basic things--it just serves as an ice breaker to have some basic information about a person that you kinda want to know--I would like to have an idea of whom I am talking to--of course someone can put false info about whether they are male or female, age, etc--I would like to have at least a modicum of info about someone--that is reasonable because in the "real world" we do have visual clues about other people as they come close to us.
I do want to know if someone is 20 or 60, a man or a woman, or whatever at least in the initial stages of a conversation.

I can find out more about those I chat with as we go along and they will find out more about me as well--and I am not talking about privating--I am just talking about general chat.

Lorcan

Jan 1, 2006, 6:19 PM

I'm wary of the people who leave their profile blank because, for example, i'm pretty sure that one person who emailed me without a profile was actually a spy from my work. (Todd-spy! Is that you, or could it be Jake!)

Now i'm pretty out, but i dont bother people at work with my perversions :tong: because i'm NOT COMING ON TO ANY OF THEM. (Todd)

I'm understand why several of you don't want to do a profile. Probably for the very reason i said: that you could be identified. I just want to point out my reasons for being wary of you.

biron

Feb 14, 2006, 12:33 PM

This has been a "bug bear" for many folk on this site pretty much since I joined this site.

In fact I only posted a photgraph and written profile after comments in the chat room (and I think there has been an earlier and similar thread to that of this one).

However, what I wanted to say is this:

Of late I find that I am only really interested in getting to know folk that DO have a written profile - hopefully along with some "visual" attachment - doesn't have to be a photograph - a graphic is just as interesting, sometimes more so.

Some profiles are very detailed and very funny - it helps to get an "insight"/"impression" of the person who's posts you are reading or the person you are speaking with in chat.

So I encourage all of you who haven't put up a profile to do so - you may meet many more people and if you're looking to meet in reality I'm sure your chances will greatly improve.

Drew has written some very helpful "tips" about writting profiles on the "edit profile" option.

Byron :)

jo69guy

Feb 14, 2006, 1:04 PM

Yeah while I like having profiles to look at, and have mine done(minus a pic) some people may be wanting to be totally anonymous(sp). I think we should all respect that wish..... :2cents:

Gemini523

Feb 14, 2006, 5:59 PM

Fascinating discussion! I am with the ones who have not put anything on my profile because I was not looking to "hook up" with anyone by joining this forum. I came to learn, to share, and to relate with others who feel (or not sure how they feel) the same as me. And as I am sure was experienced by many others, it was difficult to find this site to begin with, and had to wade through a lot of muck before I found it. Isn't it understandable to be leery of any site until you got to experience it for a while? Anyway, if I was to look for cybersex, or dirty talk, or anything else of that nature, this would not the site I would come to (no offense intended to anyone!). :bigrin:

However, I now see the point made by many others, and will attend to my profile immediately.

Driver 8

Feb 14, 2006, 8:27 PM

A lot can change in six weeks - after hanging around the chat and the forums, I decided that the profiles were a handy tool, and had a better idea what I wanted in mine. In fact, having the profile up seems to have gotten me even more interesting conversations than I was already having, and to filter out a certain number of wannafucks.

I still think it's excessive to pester newbies with blank profiles; I bet a lot of people find the site and immediately want to jump in and participate, and filling in all the boxes in the profile just isn't a priority. (And a number of oldbies seem to have blank profiles, too.)

meteast chick

Feb 14, 2006, 8:38 PM

I had no idea this was such a hot topic. At first, I only posted the basics, and as I became more comfortable, which was in a very short time, I put on more. I respect those who choose not to have a profile, I assume it is for their own reasons. For all of you who simply haven't thought about it, it is nice to read in the very least a general profile, it gives people some common ground and occasionally topics of conversations. For those of you who come to prowl...grrrr...stay away from me, puhleaze!

rupertbare

Feb 15, 2006, 11:34 AM

Grief this IS a "hot potato" subject - I bet "biron" is sorry he started this thread up again!!! lol!!! :)

I still like seeing images attached to profiles - I must stress here - images - not necessarily a photographs - even a picture (photo or drawing) of a flower, for instance. That's because of my visual arts background - I respond well to such stimuli.

I also like written profiles - they DON'T have to give personal details - mine gives a bit about my interst in cycling, a few photographer's work I enjoy and a fair amount about the music I listen to. They are intended not just as a background to "who I am/what I am about" but also to act as talking points/ice breakers.

It's not that I WON'T chat with (or even feel the need to contact) folk who don't post these details (and I understand with 'newbies' that they need time to "suss" out the site and then if they keep returning may later feel able to fill out the profiles) - it's just that they save a lot of time!!! :)

I certainly wouldn't dream of "jumping" on anyone about (as Arana points out) but if I like some-one and meet them a couple of times I probably would "encourage" them to, at least, "think about it".

Love and Peace from the UK

Rupe :)

CUMM2LBV

Feb 15, 2006, 4:03 PM

FLAWYER SEEMS TO HAVE TOUCHED A NERVE. THERE ARE MANY COMMENTS AND I AGREE TO SOME EXTENT WITH THE VAST MAJORITY.

WHAT I REALLY HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH IS THAT SO MANY PUT THEMSELVES OUT HERE IN EXQUISITE DETAIL, THEIR INTERESTS AND THEN ACCOMPANY THEM WITH PICS AND THEN WHEN YOU SHOOT THEM A NOTE INDICATEING AN INTEREST THEY CANNOT MANAGE EVEN A SIMPLE NO THANK YOU.

FOR MYSELF, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN A PENPAL OR ENDESS EMAILS DESCRIBING GENITAL SIZE AND QUALITY OF THE LOAD THEY ARE CAPABLE OF PROJECTING. I CAME HERE TO MEET AND ENGAGE OTHER PEOPLE WITH LIKE INTERESTS.........

FSJeepguy

Feb 15, 2006, 5:21 PM

After having re-read this whole thread and spending some more time here I would like to add that; I for one, am much more comfortable chatting with folks that do have some sort of profile. I don't mean that everyone has to divulge their deepest darkest secrets but just some basic information is better than nothing at all.
Naturally I respect the desires of those that don't have a profile and can surely understand that many of us need discretion so that we can feel comfortable here. Having said that, those with no profiles seem to be the ones that will IM me while I am in the chat room with the most XXX comments.
If you want to hit on me, read my profile first. I have some pretty basic information in there. If I interest you please feel free to contact me. After all that's one of (not the only) reasons that I'm here. If however you do feel like contacting me, give me the courtesy of having the availability to decide from your profile if I want to respond to you.

Just my .02c

innaminka

Feb 15, 2006, 5:37 PM

Fascinating discussion! I am with the ones who have not put anything on my profile because I was not looking to "hook up" with anyone by joining this forum. I came to learn, to share, and to relate with others who feel (or not sure how they feel) the same as me.

Exactly my situation. I am not "looking" - rather here to join the forums, express my thoughts and learn.

Which I have - thanks :flag2:

BTW - I've put in a profile. Me!

rumple4skin

Feb 15, 2006, 5:51 PM

I filled out my profile when I joined the site in Jan 2006. I was not coming here for cyber. I was coming here to learn other peoples point of view on bisexuality and other things. That being said the handle i used does not really speak to who I am or why I am here. I used that name becasue I used it on another site and a friend I met there told me about this site so i used the same name - but what is in a name anyway? Sorry - back to the thread...

I put as much information in my profile as i was comfortable with. I enjoy reading peopes profiles because it gives me a better understanding of who they are. However I fully respect the right of anyone not to put anything in there profile for whatever reason they choose. If I get a pm from some one and they say hi and then want to jump right to cyber ( or skip the Hi all together ) I tell them that I am just chatting in the main room right now and that usually takes care of it weather they have a profile or not. I do not think there is anything wrong with cyber sex. It is just not what I come to this site for. If someone takes the time to put information in their profile great. If they do not then that is ok too. I think that this comunity is much like the rest of the world - there will be some people that are comfortable letting other people know more about themselves and some who are not. I have no right to tell the ones that do not feel comfortable that they are wrong or accuse them of being sneaky or whatever negative spin can be put on it. I would probably have been very reluctant to join the site it the profile was "required" but that is becasue i have issues with authority :). I will say that when I see someone with a profile I do feel I know a little more about them and may feel more comfortable talking to them. The process may just go a little slower when I see someone that does not have a profile but that does not mean I will not talk to them.

I just realized something. The ones that come here only for cyber and choose not to put anything in their profile will probably not reat this thread at all. The ones that stick around and "join" the comunity will hear about someone else's profile refered to in a chat and may decide to put something in their profile. hmmmmm
If that is my :2cents: is it for the quality or quantity of what i have said - LOL - probably own some people a refund.

flawyer2000

Feb 15, 2006, 8:05 PM

It is interesting to see that my little "pet peeve" which I started so long ago can still bring fresh ideas and thoughts to the subject.

As I have always said, I am not advocating the placing of any more personal information that one feels confortable with; but something to give us a little glipse of the soul of the person behind the nickname. This doesn't have to be a cyber site or a meat market, but somewhere we can share in a common theme. Therefore, let me know if you and I share some common bond instead of having to weed through all of the chaff.

flawyer2000

grant_33

Feb 15, 2006, 11:14 PM

A couple of conclusions about profiles:

People post profiles for a few reasons. 1. They want to let people know who they are for dating purposes. 2. They want people to know who they are for personal reasons. 3. They've been to other sites which require posting a profile and so they do it here as well.

People don't post for a few reasons as well. 1. They want to maintain some anonymity. 2. They aren't interested in dating, and aren't really interested in anyone really knowing who they are either. 3. They're new to the site and are just checking it out. 4. They're lazy.

Those are generalizations, but probably hit most of the people here, whether they have a profile posted or not.

Having said that, I kind of like profiles. I like to know where the person chatting or posting is from, their age, etc. My first impression about someone without a profile is that they have something to hide, and so I wonder what that something may be. I understand that there are a few of us (maybe more than a few) that are here without spousal or societal approval, but with a little thought, a nickname can be obtained that gives you anonymity from anyone you'd be worried about seeing you here. But I don't think it is too much to ask that people have a profile posted so you can see what they're about.

rand822502

Feb 15, 2006, 11:54 PM

Personally I don't care to post a profile. I would not speak with someone just because they don't have a profile. That's the same thing as saying you won't speak to someone because there GAY. Who cares your gay your gay.

One time I had a profile and I would be bombarded with requests. I posted that I was a computer programmer, next thing I knew college kids wanted me to do there homework for them. I'm not interested in meeting people because you don't know if people you talk with are who they say they are.

I like to read the threads as to what other people are saying. I find that more entertaining than chatting with others. Most of the people I would chat with just wanted to have a jerk off session rather than have a normal conversation.

that's my view

gooba

Feb 16, 2006, 12:02 AM

Well I only joined yesterday and saw your thread today so I put up a basic prifile..... :)

moonlitwish

Feb 17, 2006, 7:50 PM

I'm with Volty on this one...give me a name to call you by, your approx age, your gender and approx location. The rest is irrelevant until you can tell someone's personality through chat and threads. :2cents:
I posted a profile just cuz I'm lookin and maybe someone else is too and it might help us find one another. I wouldn't post my pic if I was worried about being 'outed'. I'm at the point in my life where I don't give a fuck. This is me, take it or leave it. Unfortunately, some ppl don't have that luxery. I can respect that, just tell me where you are and your age. There's a big difference in the opinions of most 20 yr olds vs 40 yr olds. This also helps keep from pissing ppl off inadvertantly.