SEX DOES EXPERIENCE COUNT?

[IanGray]

I have had sex three times. Once with a female with little experience then with a female with experience then with a man (no idea what experience he had).
Of the three the woman with experience was the most natural. The man I had
sex with seemed too much in a hurry.

I could come to a lot of wrong conclusions from these experiences, however, I feel it important not only to learn about sex but also to understand the person
as well. Does experience matter in regard to this?

Ian :)

[lady_starlight]

Does experience count? Yes and no. from my personal experience anyways. I ahve slept with people who had lots of experience...and sucked in bed. and i've slept with a couple of people who were literally virgins, and they were great. I think it depends more on their openness to the experience for women, whether things turn out well or not, and for men i think it depends on their level of arrogance really. A lot of guys have the "I have a big penis, and therefore I am awesome in bed" syndrome. And don;t bother to learn any skills, whether they have had lots of experience or not. (not saying all guys are like that....i just seem to come into contact with a lot of special ones, lol)

So yes experience helps, if you are willing to use it as a learning tool, but no amount of experience will help you if you aren;t willing to learn anything from your mistakes. So practice lots and listen for feedback! lol:three:

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Couldnt have said it better myself lady :) . I was talking about this very subject this morning. Alot of times I feel inadequate with men, because, well, I feel more adequate with a woman. I open up more because im comfortable, and have been told im a great lover. Now I've been with guys who im sure they were thinking ( hmm i wonder if shes done this before ! " ) I've been with one particular fella who I could ride on all day, and he said I blew his mind. The another fella that probably thought I was a 34 yo virgin ( he was freaky tho and figured I knew all sorts of postions) lol To me when you find a wonderful partner, your experience grows. I've had a female partner that has allowed me to do basically anything I wanted to do, and yet she's taught me how to relax and take it all in as well. By far the best lover Ive ever had. ;-)

[HighEnergy]

Experience counts, but what counts more is exploring and caring about the other person. No matter how much experience either of you has, a new person is a new person with their own needs, likes and dislikes.

[flirtchewieflirt]

For my own part, I always observed that the best partners were always the ones who were enthusiastic and took obvious pleasure in sex. I think a great attitude trumps experience any day of the week.

[lonelygirlintx]

Does experience count? Yes and no. from my personal experience anyways. I ahve slept with people who had lots of experience...and sucked in bed. and i've slept with a couple of people who were literally virgins, and they were great. I think it depends more on their openness to the experience for women, whether things turn out well or not, and for men i think it depends on their level of arrogance really. A lot of guys have the "I have a big penis, and therefore I am awesome in bed" syndrome. And don;t bother to learn any skills, whether they have had lots of experience or not. (not saying all guys are like that....i just seem to come into contact with a lot of special ones, lol)

So yes experience helps, if you are willing to use it as a learning tool, but no amount of experience will help you if you aren;t willing to learn anything from your mistakes. So practice lots and listen for feedback! lol:three:

I agree. The biggest guy (10 in.) that I have ever had, had absolutely no idea what he was doing,and he had experience with 2 other girls before me. And my smallest guy who was literally around 4 in. gave me so much pleasure, I was totally surprised! So I think it depends on how open the person is, combined with their experience, and their natural ability.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

I agree. The biggest guy (10 in.) that I have ever had, had absolutely no idea what he was doing,and he had experience with 2 other girls before me. And my smallest guy who was literally around 4 in. gave me so much pleasure, I was totally surprised! So I think it depends on how open the person is, combined with their experience, and their natural ability.

I would have run as soon as I saw that 10 inches staring me in the face lol

[Hephaestion]

I would have run as soon as I saw that 10 inches staring me in the face lol

10 inches eh - rabbits and headlights

[Ninnian]

Im hoping that yet another gal saying it will help some guys who are still bothered by teh "size matters" thing--
I went out with a guy who was hung liek an ox for 18 months.(That is, until I could get away in one peice). He didnt have (nor did he wish) alot of experience... if you have that much and have NO idea what to do with it, and worst yet coudl care less about the pleasure of your partner, its just a waste.

Ya know, I also have to reiterate others - Experience is nice.. but *IMHO* passion and consideration of those you're with far outweigh how much a person has been 'around teh block'.

Then , theres always something to be said for teh enthusiasm of learning soemthing new! :tong:

Nin

[TaylorMade]

Ralph Waldo Emerson probably didn't intend this to extend to sex, BUT it seems this saying of his is appropriate:

'Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.'

But eventually, you should learn some skills and perfect them for your own.


*Taylor*

[jem_is_bi]

For me, previous experience is not particularly important the first time I play with someone. I just determine our common desires and limits and have fun. Then, if I have enough fun to want more, maybe more can be arranged. However, that is when experience begins to be important. As stated by others, when your and your partner learn from your shared experience how to enhance the shared pleasure, then experience really counts a lot.

JEM

[The Barefoot Contess]

I think some of the most memorable sexual experiences I have ever had were those in which both of us were more guided by "instinct" than by what you know feels good beforehand. I like spontaneity a lot.

[DiamondDog]

In some ways it does.

I don't want a virgin if I had my choice (like I wouldn't actively seek out someone who has never had gay sex before); but I wouldn't care if I was someone's first gay sex experience.

As I get older I wouldn't mind playing a certain role with younger men. ;0) I just would not want a relationship with a man like this since it's not equal and I don't have a desire to play this role full time.

On the other hand, I don't want someone who it seems like everyone has already had, a hardcore anal sex power bottom size queen, that's vapid/1 dimensional and who just treats men like human dildos before he moves onto the next victim (I've met het women who were like this with men and I don't really like them either), or someone who has been with 100's/1,000's of partners who loves to cheat on their partner and loves anon/NSA sex and dangerous sex with complete strangers.

It often pays to be picky! ;) :2cents:

[eddy10]

Ever hear this one?

A jackass can plow a field for 20 years, that does not make him a farmer.

Life (including sex) should be a learning experience. Always strive to learn something new.

[IanGray]

Im hoping that yet another gal saying it will help some guys who are still bothered by teh "size matters" thing--
I went out with a guy who was hung liek an ox for 18 months.(That is, until I could get away in one peice). He didnt have (nor did he wish) alot of experience... if you have that much and have NO idea what to do with it, and worst yet coudl care less about the pleasure of your partner, its just a waste.

Ya know, I also have to reiterate others - Experience is nice.. but *IMHO* passion and consideration of those you're with far outweigh how much a person has been 'around teh block'.

Then , theres always something to be said for teh enthusiasm of learning soemthing new! :tong:

Nin

The question i'm asking is not about size of dick or boobs or whatever, which isn't that important to me, it's about whether experience counts when it comes to understanding the other persons needs both emotionally and sexually. In other words is it better to choose a partner who has some experience to show you the ropes or to learn with someone with none and learn by exploring and talking openly about each others needs.

I feel that understanding yourself and other people is crucial in all encounters with other people and believe that without this understanding a relationship is doomed to failure.

[someotherguy]

The role of consciousness in matters sexual is not to manage the experience except to ensure safety within reasonable bounds. If you have taken to considering the sexual encounter as a conscious connection between two people, you have missed the point of sex. Notice next opportunity which of the body's organs engage. My suggestion is that if your mouth is talking and it can be understood, you are not doing sex properly. As for feelings or emotions, as some call them, have them later and by yourself after your partner has been satisfied, and while you are demonstrating gratitude by doing housework, so they can sleep late.

[Ninnian]

[QUOTE=IanGray;96657]The question i'm asking is not about size of dick or boobs or whatever, which isn't that important to me, it's about whether experience counts when it comes to understanding the other persons needs both emotionally and sexually.

Ian, I know that wasnt your original question (and i think I Did answer that question in my own way afterwards)..... the size thing had been mentioned, and as I know so many guys so have the misconception - I just figured I's strengthen what had been said.
Too true what you had to say- :D

[shameless agitator]

It ain't rocket science. If you're enthusiastic & observant, it'll all go well. Basically, if they go ooooo keep doing what you're doing. If they go eeeww, stop. As far as whether you should look for prospective partners with or without experience, it doesn't really matter. You can learn to be a good lover either way, and you'll have to do a certain amount of re-learning with each new partner anyway.

[the mage]

I have had sex three times. Once with a female with little experience then with a female with experience then with a man (no idea what experience he had).
Of the three the woman with experience was the most natural. The man I had
sex with seemed too much in a hurry.

I could come to a lot of wrong conclusions from these experiences, however, I feel it important not only to learn about sex but also to understand the person
as well. Does experience matter in regard to this?

Ian :)


The best lovers are not the ones experienced in numbers.. They are the ones who love to give away pleasure and effort, and slime and sweat, to make their partner quiver and squirm..and cum..