Am I hurting other Bi's?

[openmindclosedcloset]

Before I get back to the Title, he'res the background.

I'm 22, clearly Bi and while I've never been with another man, I know that I could, and would enjoy it. I've been in a heterosexual relationship for over 3 years and am Ragingly happy with our relationship. I've told My partner (wasn't the plan, but love makes you do some crazy things), and she's been very accepting and supportive. I have no plans whatsoever to cheat on her with a guy, or even bring somebody into the bedroom. Monogamy is fine by me.

Perhaps telling her is what got it started, but now I spend quite abit of time thinking about whether I should come out to the rest of the world. I tend to fall on the HELL NO! side of the argument. I don't want to subject myself to everything that bisexuals go through when I'm not even with a guy. Why fight when theres nothing to fight for?

Of course, much like Homosexuality, the more people have come forward, the more walls have fallen and the less fighting there is to do. Am I hurting other bi's in the same position by not being vocal about who I am? The poll on this site said over a fifth of bi's are only out to their partners... thats alot. Should we all come forward? is my silence hurting other people? What do people think? and no need to sweeten it up, I don't offend easily.

[bluewatermoth]

I see what you're saying, but I think the real question is... Is your silence hurting you? The fight for acceptance and equal rights will keep on just the same whether you are out to all or just your partner. It's a personal decision you should make, putting yourself and your significant other first.

[codybear3]

Hello omcc..To answer you as openly as possible, your decision to either come out or not has no direct affect on me. That being said, I cannot answer for anyone else. Bluewatermoth has hit it right on the head of your question. Think of you and your immediates first and then make a decision. In the end, its really up to you if you want to come out to the world about your bi-side. Most of the world would probably just shrugs its shoulders with indifference and only the homophobes will drool with having another possible target...Good luck with your decision... :2cents: :paw: :paw:

[bediddle]

I went through a period of questioning the very sam thing.

Here's what I've done so far.

I've told some very close friends and my partner. Other than that, I do'nt particularly hide it but I don't overtly announce it. I'll comment about a particularly good looking woman the same way I'll comment about a good looking guy. I attend pride events and am generally supportive of the queer community. I speak up when someone does or says something that I find personally offensive. Basically, I act just how I would if I were wearing a sign - except without the sign. ;)

Dito to the above, just do what you think is right for you and those closest to you. Don't worry too much about the rest of us.

[BiKauai]

I notice that you are in Ontario. There is a bi support group and social group in Toronto; perhaps one of the things you might do is attend a meeting or contact the group. Sometimes, just meeting other bi men and women in a non-sexual setting, such as in a discussion/support group, can help you to see what your options are and what would work best for you. While you do need to figure out what will work best for you and for your partner, you don't have to do that alone. You likely will find there are some bis that are happily monogamous but have comfortably become part of a bi community or have made various choices about who they come out to. I don't have the Toronto folks' web address right here, but the bisexual.org web site has contacts for various support groups around the world. Also, next summer will be the 9th International Bi Conference, to be held in Toronto. You might look at attending some of those presentations/workshops/etc. as a way to connect with others who have similar situations as you or who have information about bisexuality and related issues. Be blessed.

[RainbowBright]

on a whole i agree with everyone.. i personaly am not being hurt by not being told.. not that it would matter if i was..

i think that what ever is best for you is what you need to do.. if you feel a compelling urge to anounce it to the world.. then i commend you.. if you feel that same compelling urge to stay to yourself.. then wonderfull.. so long as you are happy with your decision.. does it matter who else is?

Do what is in your heart!!!

Bright :tong: