Do you think there is someone out there for you?

[PolyLoveTriad]

Most people can answer this question with a simple yes or no. But Ive been on the site for a while now so I know Ill get some good answers.

Do you think there is someone out there for you? This question is more for the single people or couples who may also be looking for a 3rd person or 4th, 5th, whatever makes ya happy :)

My husband and I asked ourselves this question a couple of years ago and the answer back then was yes, we really did think there was. Ask us now and he would answer, yes, he still believes there is someone out there. Ask me, and I honestly don't know anymore.

When I found this site I had a lot of hope. Now that hope is diminished, but I still love this site. There have been so many wonderful people I have gotten to know. Unfortunately none of them were looking for the same thing lol

I would log on to browse, hope to have mail, read threads.... now I log on to read threads, occasionally post, but I don't get my hopes up of having mail anymore or of actually finding someone. I don't know, maybe we are just asking too much? Maybe its not reasonable for us to want to have a 3rd in our lives. I know many people who do, but on a casual basis. I have no idea if people even view our profile or not. Anyway.... maybe its just us, but the question still stands.

Do you think there is someone out there for you?

[DiamondDog]

Yes I do.

[Falke]

I think so.

[shameless agitator]

I think there are lots of people out there, but I don't buy the "soulmate" idea anymore. I think you have to quit trying to find that one "perfect" person & find somebody to love.

[MissySue]

Even given all your exceptions and explanations, I do believe anyone can find their others. Come on, you've experienced it, we all have, those that we are drawn to...it's just usually our brains that stop us. Or in my case, I get dupped and spend too much time on a dead end. But, yes, there are many people out there for you and your husband. The question is can you find them?

[buck-rogers]

I go back and forth with this question alot, but if you were to ask me now I would say absolutely yes. I never stop believing in the soul-mate thing because it's my biggest fantasy (ok, second biggest) to find the girl or boy I'm gunna want to spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes though it can feel hopeless and I'll put the soul-mate searching on hold for months at a time, it's like their not even looking for me... but I never completely give up. :compuser:

[Azrael]

I've pretty well had my illusions of the 'one great love' completely shattered.
I haven't given up, though. I'm just a lot more skeptical/cautious these days.
I have one criteria at this point. If you say "I want you to be you", you had damn well better mean it.

[shameless agitator]

I have one criteria at this point. If you say "I want you to be you", you had damn well better mean it.A-FUCKING-MEN

[Bluebiyou]

The hope of love fullfillment is almost always a central point in one's meaning of life.
This hope (additionally fueled by testosterone driven horniness) has been my guiding light for the majority of my adult life.
When I was 38, I met the love of my life. Two years of absolute heaven and hell. For me, it made all the searching worth while. I've had the very best - achieved nirvana - to be madly falling-down-the-bottomless-pit in love with someone who looks directly back into my eyes and says "I love you and nothing else matters."
I hold little hope of ever gaining back that ... position... If it happens, fine. I think I was so extremely lucky to have/expirence what I did.
This reached a fullfilling point for me; a satisfying point. My selfish love (my desire for MY feeling of love/euphoria) opened a gate. I opened my gates of letting love out (giving love - the verb/action love) as wide as they would swing. During this time I was troubled by my limitations in loving (giving - verb/action). Why is it I could take/receive unconditional love but was only feebly able to offer a small fraction of what I received? Now, six years after it is all over and done with, I just try to love the world, one person at a time. I find this the greatest and most worthwhile challenge in life. The infinite challenge of 'how can I love/give more'?
But you are right to seek the fullfillment/feeling of love, however that is fullfilled for you (barring of course harming others). Keep searching, hoping and loving!

[PolyLoveTriad]

The hope of love fullfillment is almost always a central point in one's meaning of life.
This hope (additionally fueled by testosterone driven horniness) has been my guiding light for the majority of my adult life.
When I was 38, I met the love of my life. Two years of absolute heaven and hell. For me, it made all the searching worth while. I've had the very best - achieved nirvana - to be madly falling-down-the-bottomless-pit in love with someone who looks directly back into my eyes and says "I love you and nothing else matters."
I hold little hope of ever gaining back that ... position... If it happens, fine. I think I was so extremely lucky to have/expirence what I did.
This reached a fullfilling point for me; a satisfying point. My selfish love (my desire for MY feeling of love/euphoria) opened a gate. I opened my gates of letting love out (giving love - the verb/action love) as wide as they would swing. During this time I was troubled by my limitations in loving (giving - verb/action). Why is it I could take/receive unconditional love but was only feebly able to offer a small fraction of what I received? Now, six years after it is all over and done with, I just try to love the world, one person at a time. I find this the greatest and most worthwhile challenge in life. The infinite challenge of 'how can I love/give more'?
But you are right to seek the fullfillment/feeling of love, however that is fullfilled for you (barring of course harming others). Keep searching, hoping and loving!

Thanks, beautifully put and gave me a twinkle of hope :) *hugs*

[The Barefoot Contess]

There might be, but there is no guarantee, and thinking that there "has to" be someone can make you go insane (or think there is something wrong with you...) if you fail at finding and connecting with that person.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Andyoumake3 -

First I would say this, you were lucky enough to find eachother. Some of us are still waiting for the one special person , muchless the 3rd, or 4th. Maybe your wanting the poly life ? If that floats your boat I can understand the difficulties there, sort of anyhow. I am in the beginning stages of seeing a gentleman, who, if I had to create a man for myself, Andy would be it. He's interested, im interested. Hoping like hell I can maintain a heterosexual relationship. Im 35, ive been waiting a long time , for that someone. Im praying to the good Lord in heaven ive found him ;)

[onewhocares]

Well, first I must agree with GEL that we, you and I are lucky that we have indeed found a man, a special man who loves and cares for us. In that respect we are unlike others who are searching still.

Do I think it is possible to find a special someone to add to our life, yes I do. The journey to finding that special person is not an easy path, believe me. We found a wonderful man, but as someone above said…”I want to be with you” is a term that is not often stood by. To give your heart to someone and then not have them give the promised commitment back is so sad. I know, we have lived that.

So do we give up? We have thought about it but have determined that having a special someone in your life is worth the journey no matter how many times your heart is broken. I can tell you that we have met some absolutely wonderful people on this site and know that somewhere there is the right one. We have come to the conclusion that never let any opportunity go by….you never know what may come of it. Many wonderful lasting friendships develop that way.

Keep your heart open,

Belle

[Toad82]

My experience tells me no. My heart tells me he has already passed me by.

RJ:lokai:

[Skater Boy]

There might be, but there is no guarantee, and thinking that there "has to" be someone can make you go insane (or think there is something wrong with you...) if you fail at finding and connecting with that person.

I have to admit that I'm with Contessa on this one: a "maybe" is more realistic and sensible than a catagoric "yes" or "no".

However, with the world's population currently estimated at around 6.5 billion, there are "plenty of fish in the sea" (so to speak). Obviously this doesn't guarantee that you will actually FIND "the one", but it does mean that unless you're "abnormal" in some way then there's a reasonable likelihood that there is at least somebody, somewhere who is compatible with you (to some degree).

I guess the only ways that I can think of to increase your odds are to be as socially forthcoming as possible in order to meet as many new potential candidates as you can, and also to try and maintain a likable and open-minded character to ensure maximum receptivity to those candidates. But tbh, I'm still working on those latter recommendations.

Hope is essential though... never give up... unless you're happy being solitary.

:2cents:

[diB4u]

Obviously this doesn't guarantee that you will actually FIND "the one", but it does mean that unless you're "abnormal" in some way then there's a reasonable likelihood that there is at least somebody, somewhere who is compatible with you (to some degree).


:2cents:


Hmm abnormal- what is abnormal? What is normal....


Well in my social groups, I am abnormal, I'm the only one who isn't married or has 3 billions kids. By definintion that makes me abnormal.

LOL

AndYouMake3- to be honest I dont know. There maybe someone out there for the muscline side of me, but for the feminine side.... Ugh who knows.

I'm not conventional- and sadly most of society is conventional.

Blah!

[Skater Boy]

Hmm abnormal- what is abnormal? What is normal....


Well in my social groups, I am abnormal, I'm the only one who isn't married or has 3 billions kids. By definintion that makes me abnormal.


I'm not conventional- and sadly most of society is conventional.

Blah!

You're right- "normality" is relative. But in the context that I used "abnormality", I was referring only to those on the outermost fringes of society. You, DiB4u, are a socially well-adjusted; moderately sexually experienced; 30-something; mixed-race; bisexual woman from London. And in the grand scheme of things, that is not strange at all.

[diB4u]

You're right- "normality" is relative. But in the context that I used "abnormality", I was referring only to those on the outermost fringes of society. You, DiB4u, are a socially well-adjusted; moderately sexually experienced; 30-something; mixed-race; bisexual woman from London. And in the grand scheme of things, that is not strange at all.

LOL But im not bisexual- I'm pansexual.

Aww i think you paid me a compliment there my friend.... :bigrin:

[Skater Boy]

LOL But im not bisexual- I'm pansexual.

Aww i think you paid me a compliment there my friend.... :bigrin:

Er... ok... "pansexual".

Well, despite any issues you may (or may not) have, I've seen (and heard of) a few people who were DRAMATICALLY less "normal" than you are. It wasn't really intended as a compliment though, but if you take great pride in NOT being a mental patient, sociopath, serial killer, pervert, (etc), then you might consider it one.

[bisexualinsocal]

Yes and I hope she can cook.

[The Barefoot Contess]

Yes and I hope she can cook.

Of course, since she is a woman, right?

My god.

[darkeyes]

Kate??? Me ne gud at cookin???:tong:

[arcakes]

I'd *like* to think that there's probably several possible people out there for me...now where are they hiding...

I believe in monogamy but I think the idea that there's only ONE person out there is rather dismal...like trying to find a needle in a haystack. We're social beings, we compromise in relationships because we crave human contact. There's nothing wrong with that, it's healthy.

How's that for romanticism? :)

[diB4u]

Seriously though, if your lucky enough to have that special person in your life, that you wake up to them and fall asleep by them each and every day, please count your blessing.

Some people have good luck.
Some people never get into debt.
Some people have a great career.

Others find true love that lasts a life time.
Others meet the first person they date or even see, and spend the rest of their lives together in complete harmony.

If you are the lucky ones- tonight- if not sooner, tell them/him/her how you feel.

Because on the other side of that window, are the singletons looking in.

:2cents:

[hey_there442]

I met a girl at school, she is a moderate conservative, she said she doesn't hate homosexuals but doesn't agree with their practices yadyadya, but she's actually understands what I say about various things without me having to explaine it, I can have an intelligent conversation with her that lasts hours. (The first time we chatted outside of school we talked from 7:30 in the evening to 4:45 in the morning.) I asked her out, and she said she's asexual, so I don't think there is anyone for me, the only person who understands the majority of what I say shot me down... oh well...

[PolyLoveTriad]

See! I knew I would get decent responses. Maybe when Im pondering things I dont always ask questions the right way or maybe the right way but lacking part of the meaning Im trying to say or ask. But you got it anyway.

I do thank my lucky stars I have a wonderful husband who Im with nearly 24/7. He is my best friend and the best lover I have ever had. Some people may say theres no such thing as soul mates, but that is what we are. Instead of wanting children, we want another man :)

Someone had said that maybe we were poly, yes we are but I so hate labels.

Anyway, thanks much guys and Darkeyes, you can come over and cook for us if ya want! I need to get out of the kitchen lol

[someotherguy]

I think when I was young there were plenty of someones out there for me. I had mine. It was great. But at this age, no, there is nobody out there for me. They have either found someone already, or decided against it, or just have no use for a 48-year-old man. It depends on what you have to offer and how well you compare to the others who are available. Some of us are past being desirable. For myself, hell, I could be happy with just about anyone who wasn't a jerk, if they had a sense of humor.