Friendship is...........

[IanGray]

After the death of my best friend last April, my thoughts turned to what true friendship means and the demands and expectations that some people attempt to inject into a relationship. I had known my friend since we both started school at the age of 5, but did not become friends until a car hit him when he was 17. When I visited him in Peel hospital situated in a remote part of Scotland, he was disappointed that only 2 of his so called friends bothered to visit him.

What made the friendship last so long was to with both having similar interests (we were both artists and musicians with similar tastes in art and music), same sense of humour ( I think it was me that introduced 'The Ginger Man' by J P Donleavy, which became his favourite author, well worth a read if your feeling down).

We sometimes never met for ten years, only getting in touch through christmas cards once a year.

Overall he was avery caring person who i'll miss.

Contrast all the above with those expect 100% attention from their friends and expecting them to comply with their rules, using emotional blackmail and any other trick to get what they want. This attitude seems to be motivated by insecurity.

No, friendship in my experience is not dependent on distance but rather on accepting someone as who they are as well as finding common interests (it doesn't have to be art and music my case). :)

[diB4u]

Aw, I’m sorry for your loss.

Yes there’s many types of friends, some that you known for years but barley know at all, some that you’ve opened your heart to, others who you console in their hour of need. There are friends who you associate with at work only, the ones that you met via school- and there stuck with you!

Friendship is a great thing, for the only thing that truly binds anyone, is compassion, respect, and trust, for without those qualities No one would want to know each other.

I have made a few good friends on here, and I hope that it continues...

In the words of the theme tune of Friends- by the rembrants...

"So, no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your Job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But -

I'll be there for you ... when the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you ... like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you ... cause you're there for me, too.

You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight.
You've burned your breakfast, so far everything is great.
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these.
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees.
That -

I'll be there for you ... when the rain starts to fall.
I'll be there for you ... like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you ... cause you're there for me, too."

[The Barefoot Contess]

My best friend helps me become my best self.

[12voltman59]

I think the best friends are those who don't make any real demands and such on their supposed friends--they enjoy the time you get to spend together and even if life gets busy it takes you to different parts of the country and such so that you don't see each other every once and awhile---it is just good to be with them---

Sorry you lost that friend---

It does seem that such true friends are rare---but its worthwhile having/had them as friends.

[parkerbi]

No, friendship in my experience is not dependent on distance but rather on accepting someone as who they are as well as finding common interests (it doesn't have to be art and music my case). :)

YES. THAT'S IT. I DO AGREE WITH YOU.:tongue:

[jem_is_bi]

I like to maintain a variety of friendships, some only temporary and some long-term and some casual and some very personal and I like to have at least one that is primarily sexual.

JEM

[onewhocares]

What a very nice thread. To me this compliments a thread which started a while ago about the Greatest Gift. I am a woman who firmly believes that people come into your life for oh so many different reason. Be it to teach you a lesson, bring something new and wonderful to you life. To show you the way...or perhaps a better phrase for that is to get you to ask the important questions of yourself. They are not there to take your hand and lead you, but rather enlighten you to all the different paths to the journey of life. Not all friends stay in your life for a lifetime. My belief is that life is a circle- an unending stream of comings and going. Sometimes you do not even know just how important friends are in your life until they are gone....be they taken away ever so shortly from this earth or just come, enjoy you, share with you and then move on.

Perhaps like many of you, we, hubby and I came to this site to explore a world that was so new to us. Primarily to find a man for him. I was just sort of tagging along. Funny how gifts are given to you in life...some come in nicely wrapped packages with a pretty bow while others are bestowed upon you, many times without your knowledge. This site for me has been the latter. Never in a million years would I ever have thought that I would be privileged to meet such wonderful people from this site. They are from life's spectrum of hues upon the horizon....each in their own way painted upon my "soul", that intangible none physical part of me which has been opened up to the joy of friendship. From friends who serve as counsel, to writers of wit and wisdom, sharp touched acerbic men who find folly in my being blonde. To women of integrity, substance who posses gentleness and subtle strength, women who, like I who are not bisexual but have men in their lives who are. There are music lovers and players ( oh I am ever so envious), those serving to help find peace in the world. People who have transformed their lives and have allowed me to be part of the beginning of a whole new world. Painters, photographers, masons, electricians, sailors I have learned from you all...things which I am ever so grateful for......the world of wine, of engineering be it farm equipment, core manufacturing to power plants.....ah the things Belle has not learned. How many of you have shared our mutual love of cooking and eating....to the experience of Elephant Walk, or recipes for the best ribs or stuffed chicken, to the man in Texas who makes the best steak ever....so HE tells me...I have a Belvedere Martini with three olives waiting for me when I get there. Yes...I have been most fortunate to have met so many of you in person....I am the lucky one.. Privilege to as you have allowed me a open door into your lives where we can share, experience and build a foundation of friendship to last a life time.

I have met people here who have with out a doubt changed my life. Opened worlds to me which I never would have dared to explore....for that dear sweet ones, I thank you most graciously for the joy of your being. One has instilled in me the love of the open water and the freedom it affords you.

We have, as life has been know to do, found ourselves in moments of sadness, confusion, sorrow, helplessness and joy. Throughout all these moments in our personal lives we have come to this site to find comfort, solutions, advice, sharing from a vast world of people from the globe who offer their lives as a book to be read and learned from. So I guess for me that is the gift....the GIFT of FRIENDSHIP. I do hope that you will try and be a friend to someone and give of yourself for you do not have to give a gift wrapped in fancy paper or a bow. It emanates from within. Not sure if the Jester will approve of my poor rendition of the gifts I have learned but I tried.

Belle

[IanGray]

What a very nice thread. To me this compliments a thread which started a while ago about the Greatest Gift. I am a woman who firmly believes that people come into your life for oh so many different reason. Be it to teach you a lesson, bring something new and wonderful to you life. To show you the way...or perhaps a better phrase for that is to get you to ask the important questions of yourself. They are not there to take your hand and lead you, but rather enlighten you to all the different paths to the journey of life. Not all friends stay in your life for a lifetime. My belief is that life is a circle- an unending stream of comings and going. Sometimes you do not even know just how important friends are in your life until they are gone....be they taken away ever so shortly from this earth or just come, enjoy you, share with you and then move on.

Perhaps like many of you, we, hubby and I came to this site to explore a world that was so new to us. Primarily to find a man for him. I was just sort of tagging along. Funny how gifts are given to you in life...some come in nicely wrapped packages with a pretty bow while others are bestowed upon you, many times without your knowledge. This site for me has been the latter. Never in a million years would I ever have thought that I would be privileged to meet such wonderful people from this site. They are from life's spectrum of hues upon the horizon....each in their own way painted upon my "soul", that intangible none physical part of me which has been opened up to the joy of friendship. From friends who serve as counsel, to writers of wit and wisdom, sharp touched acerbic men who find folly in my being blonde. To women of integrity, substance who posses gentleness and subtle strength, women who, like I who are not bisexual but have men in their lives who are. There are music lovers and players ( oh I am ever so envious), those serving to help find peace in the world. People who have transformed their lives and have allowed me to be part of the beginning of a whole new world. Painters, photographers, masons, electricians, sailors I have learned from you all...things which I am ever so grateful for......the world of wine, of engineering be it farm equipment, core manufacturing to power plants.....ah the things Belle has not learned. How many of you have shared our mutual love of cooking and eating....to the experience of Elephant Walk, or recipes for the best ribs or stuffed chicken, to the man in Texas who makes the best steak ever....so HE tells me...I have a Belvedere Martini with three olives waiting for me when I get there. Yes...I have been most fortunate to have met so many of you in person....I am the lucky one.. Privilege to as you have allowed me a open door into your lives where we can share, experience and build a foundation of friendship to last a life time.

I have met people here who have with out a doubt changed my life. Opened worlds to me which I never would have dared to explore....for that dear sweet ones, I thank you most graciously for the joy of your being. One has instilled in me the love of the open water and the freedom it affords you.

We have, as life has been know to do, found ourselves in moments of sadness, confusion, sorrow, helplessness and joy. Throughout all these moments in our personal lives we have come to this site to find comfort, solutions, advice, sharing from a vast world of people from the globe who offer their lives as a book to be read and learned from. So I guess for me that is the gift....the GIFT of FRIENDSHIP. I do hope that you will try and be a friend to someone and give of yourself for you do not have to give a gift wrapped in fancy paper or a bow. It emanates from within. Not sure if the Jester will approve of my poor rendition of the gifts I have learned but I tried.

Belle

I have not mentioned the other friend that I lost last year who died of bowl cancer. He was a great inspiration to me. He had hands that were so stiff and twisted that no one thought he would be able to play the guitar. He proved everyone that they were wrong after what must have been a painful and frustrating struggle to master his chosen instrument. Not only did he learn to play it, but excelled in his music making. When I first met him I was quite astounded how good he was, he was a lot better guitarist than I was. I thought if he can become so good with his handicap, I could do this too.

This relates to what you say about how friends touch our lives and make it that much richer.

[**Peg**]

excellent topic Ian.

Having no family of my own anymore, my online buddies are my family. They might be surprised to learn just how much they mean to me. Losing them is hard, and I've had to say goodbye to too many recently.

I have 3-4 dear friends in real life I've known for over 40 years and see them only sporadically. If I needed them, they would come to me and vice versa.

Accepting, respecting and honouring my friends has kept us close emotionally if not geographically.

If you're my friend, you are my friend for life: I'm loyal that way.

**Peg**

[Azrael]

Friendship is telling someone "I love you, but you're fucking up" when noone else will. Something to be said for tough love.

[naughty'BI'chick]

I believe friendship, TRUE friendship, is where you can forgive & forget no matter what. Hate but love them the next day. Be selfless & caring for someone else. To be soft & hard at the same time. True Friendship is where your together no matter what, nothing gets in the way & you can forgive, but you know when to be tough & soft to the friend you love.

well, thats my opinion.

bye,
JayLa *hugs*

[bisexualinsocal]

I find that the older I get, the more rewarding my friendships are. True, the fewer there are but the ones that last are worth the ride.

When you're 33 years old you start to really appreciate honesty from your friends. And I don't mean honesty in their evaluations of your behavior. I mean honesty in their evaluation of their own motives and how their motives can alter/hurt or help the friendship.

Grown ups make the best friends.

[Ammigoth]

my personal version of friendship is some one or something that will always be there. ether remembering them, knowing them or being with them. its someone that you will look back on in 10 years or so and feel proud and honoured to be part of there existence whether they value you or not.

[Doggie_Wood]

my take on friendship:


http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-3.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-5.gif

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/FRIENDSHIP-2.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-1.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/Friendship.jpg

and so much more,

so let us pray;


http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/FRIENDSHIP-4.gif

:doggie:

[IanGray]

my take on friendship:


http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-3.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-5.gif

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/FRIENDSHIP-2.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/friendship-1.jpg

and

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/Friendship.jpg

and so much more,

so let us pray;


http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Dogwoods_place/FRIENDSHIP-4.gif

:doggie:

That about sums it up. You've given me a new viewpoint.