Labels, labels!!!

[innaminka]

Last night, (Sat) as my hubby is away on one of his periodic monthly visits to the Pilbara, I went to a dinner party with my work colleague and her partner. I was the odd lady out. Three "happily married" lesbian couples and myself.
It was very much a normal dinner party, lots of yummy food, good booze and long chats about the usual suspects: celebrities, religion, politics and sex.
Except during the night, one small thing irked me and still does.
When it came to sexuality, and they were quite open, they used labels a lot. Femme, Butch, Ando, stone, Lipstick, etc etc.
No one was a just a gal looking for another woman.
I was treated with a modicum of suspicion at first. "Bi-curious" is almost a hate-word in the lesbian community. Another label.
I actually had to convince them that the "curious" aspect of my sexuality was long gone.
But it just irked me a tiny bit that labels are so freely used; they almost seem essential in defining a woman's sexuality.
Other than that it was great and eye-opening night.

[diB4u]

Its true.... Labels can be of help, but also labels can also seperate and segregate indivduals... I guess it depends on how you really deal with it. Labels can be empowering, but also derogotive.


I wouldn't worry about it too much; as long as you have friends who love you for who you are. As long as you know who you are- just smile and say hello.

[shameless agitator]

The labels do get frustrating when you don't fit neatly into any of the categories.

[VBScript]

What do you expect they're lesbians?
Many dykes seriously HATE bisexual women.

It's mostly based on politics, penis envy, and jealousy.

[alaskacouple]

They and we are all just people, and we have a need to try to put things in some sort of order in our minds - actually we all do it and it is virtually impossible to not. But, when people use the labels to decide if they shall hate you or love you then the labels become a problem.

Sort of like 'judgment'; we all must make judgments about many things (including people) every day - but when we extend our 'judgments into 'judging' it goes beyond an impartial analysis into condemnation.

If you think about it; when it comes to discussing our sexuality, how could I explain to another that I am "bisexual" without applying that "label" to myself?

So,I guess I think we need labels, we just should not base our acceptance/rejection of anyone based om them.

[diB4u]

They and we are all just people, and we have a need to try to put things in some sort of order in our minds - actually we all do it and it is virtually impossible to not. But, when people use the labels to decide if they shall hate you or love you then the labels become a problem.

Sort of like 'judgment'; we all must make judgments about many things (including people) every day - but when we extend our 'judgments into 'judging' it goes beyond an impartial analysis into condemnation.

If you think about it; when it comes to discussing our sexuality, how could I explain to another that I am "bisexual" without applying that "label" to myself?

So,I guess I think we need labels, we just should not base our acceptance/rejection of anyone based om them.


Agreed.

Personally some i do like, some identify with who i am, or who I would like to ascribe to. Others are harmful.

[innaminka]

What do you expect they're lesbians?
Many dykes seriously HATE bisexual women.

It's mostly based on politics, penis envy, and jealousy.

Hate? Very strong word. These women (2 of whom had given themselves the label "Butch") didn't hate Bi's - rather they were suspicious about motives.
The way they see it, many so called "bi" or especially "bi-curious" are really just really playing.
Like anyone, they don't see themselves as objects of curiosity, rather as people looking for serious relationships: at least that was the message I received.
hate would be too strong; rather as a group they just wouldn't bother with most (not all) women who profess to be "bi."

[BreeIsMe]

labels, as has been discussed in several other threads rarely fit individuals and are best not used.....(at least if you are trying to be politically correct!!)

Bree

[12voltman59]

labels, as has been discussed in several other threads rarely fit individuals and are best not used.....(at least if you are trying to be politically correct!!)

Bree

The thing with labels--we human beings like to see patterns in things--we also have to categorize things in order to try to make sense of them---I am afraid that trying to get rid of labels is akin to pissing into the high winds we have been having the last few days--pretty much a futile excercise I dare say!!!!

[vittoria]

This separatist entity is a tad bit annoying.

So feudalistic.

Everyone wants to belong to something--a group, a classification, a designation, a "clique", whose 'side are you on'... stuff like that.


Hell even the classes have sub-classes...

As far as what bisexual's "motives" are...
umm...
its to get laid. Its choice.

Choice... something that people seem not to understand.

Something a whole lot better than FORCE. :2cents:

[alaskacouple]

...

Something a whole lot better than FORCE. :2cents:

Hang on I'm looking in my "label maker program"..... ok, got it! What your talking about is known as BSDM - that's where crazy people force others to do nasties with them. Side note here says; 'usually involves leather clothing, heavy ropes and severe pain and often leads to death or severe mutilation of the participants.'

(see how good labels work. gotta have 'em)

[bisexualinsocal]

Last night, (Sat) as my hubby is away on one of his periodic monthly visits to the Pilbara, I went to a dinner party with my work colleague and her partner. I was the odd lady out. Three "happily married" lesbian couples and myself.
It was very much a normal dinner party, lots of yummy food, good booze and long chats about the usual suspects: celebrities, religion, politics and sex.
Except during the night, one small thing irked me and still does.
When it came to sexuality, and they were quite open, they used labels a lot. Femme, Butch, Ando, stone, Lipstick, etc etc.
No one was a just a gal looking for another woman.
I was treated with a modicum of suspicion at first. "Bi-curious" is almost a hate-word in the lesbian community. Another label.
I actually had to convince them that the "curious" aspect of my sexuality was long gone.
But it just irked me a tiny bit that labels are so freely used; they almost seem essential in defining a woman's sexuality.
Other than that it was great and eye-opening night.

I find that people who need to hide behind the false pride of their sexuality usually lead very meaningless and empty lives. LGBT pride advocates, to me, are analogous to LGBT bashers. The fact that they're minding your business and not their own does indicate a certain disinterest in their own personal affairs and by that virtue, a disinterest in their own lives and selves. Pay no attention to those who live empty lives.

There is fear and intolerance in pride; it is sensitive and uncompromising. The less promise and potency in the self, the more imperative is the need for pride. The core of pride is self-rejection.- Eric Hoffer

[vittoria]

Hang on I'm looking in my "label maker program"..... ok, got it! What your talking about is known as BSDM - that's where crazy people force others to do nasties with them. Side note here says; 'usually involves leather clothing, heavy ropes and severe pain and often leads to death or severe mutilation of the participants.'

(see how good labels work. gotta have 'em)


:bigrin::bigrin:


hahaha :) too funny.

actually, what i was referring to was the fact that we have choices as bisexuals.. as humans for that matter. (as in the context clues of what a bisexual's "motives" are). The statement was in reference that we choose to be who we are... no one forced us to be bi :)

Funny thought though :)


V