sex insecurities

[bloodbeatboy]

for some reason i have a lot of reservations about having sex with a girl i mean i have had sex with one girl quite a lot. but when it comes to thinking about sex with anyone new. i kinda...freak out. like i dont when it comes to guys at all but i think thats because i havent done anything with a guy. i feel like im not good enough and id be a laughing stock you know. its weird i just want to enjoy myself but something in my head is stopping me. :\ i wish it wasnt. is their anyone who has any tips to help me?

[Doggie_Wood]

Well, bbb, you don't have a personal profile so it's kind of hard to understand where you're head is at, at this stage of your life. But if I were to take a shot in the dark, I would say that you possibly have a lowered self-esteem, and you are probably quite intelligent.
My advise to you would be to try not to think to much about whatever it is that makes you nervous and just enjoy what you are into.
Self-affirmation meditation is also good (for anyone ay anytime)

:doggie:

[bloodbeatboy]

thanks for your reply. yeha i suppose i am fairly intelligent. my iq is like 136. i had a bad experience with this girl where he basically cheated on me. i think i do over think things and over worry but just need to stop it.

the meditation you were talking sounds great! where do i find to give it a go. i believe in destressing in certain ways. to find out how to do it would be great

[Sapphrodite]

my humble :2cents: Just remember that she was only one 'speedbump' in your long road ahead... getting cheated on is a pretty big mindf*ck, but don't be afraid to use your smarts to help yourself understand that that it was her bad judgement that caused her to 'cheat' and not anything that you did.

That being said, find new ways to get to know your own body on your own before worrying about how others view you. Sexuality isn't as much about experience as it is about confidence, communication, and being comfortable with who you are.

There are some really great books out there that might help. One recent find is called "Dirty Talk: Speak the Language of Lust" (it's aimed towards women, but it is a very practical, non-threatening resource); Amazon.com has plenty of books on how to be comfortable with talking drity and becoming more comfortable with one's sexuality.

You might even want to try your hand at some one-on-one cybering in the chatroom here. Talking about your fantasies in a non-threatening environment as well as gauging other's likes/dislikes, techniques, responses, etc., might make you feel more at ease when the real thing comes along in real life.

Learning how to communicate during sex will *significantly* increase your 'sexual confidence'... armed with that knowledge, your fears will soon become a thing of the past.

Good Luck!!!
Sapphy =^_^=


PS: Any book on meditation will give you excellent relaxation techniques. Also look into the yoga DVD series by Rodney Yee (he's awesome). It's much easier to learn when you're being shown how versus trying to relax while reading a book. May even want to try taking up Tai Chi - it's great for balance, strength, and relaxation! :-)

[bloodbeatboy]

thankx yeah i think i should do more sex chat with women. i think it would help a lot actually. :) thankyou.

i do really want to get into meditation because i think it would be beneficial for me.

thankyou all x x i feel a bit more confident about it already

[diB4u]

Well.....


To be honest having insecurities about sex is a common one. Trust me.:rolleyes: Low self estem is a silent killer, it infects a person's soul destroying their identity, their personality untill the only thing left is the feeling...


In the words of one Micheal Jackson- 'you are not alone' bloodbeatboy you ar not alone....

[bloodbeatboy]

thankx *hug*