Getting your partner to try bi

[xtac_2003]

Post some advice on how to ask your partner to try a bi experience.
Tell us your story if you were in that situation.

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello xtac
im sorry, this may not be what you want to hear, but i dont think its a good idea to push anyone into something they are not sure about

my wife is very straight, and i would never ask her to try "going" bi, this is not something she be comfortable in trying, so its not a fair question to ask of her

sorry that i could not be of help but i felt i had to be honest with you

m.in.heels&hose

[Mrs.F]

I read your post earlier and chose not to reply because I needed to think about how I felt about what you were asking. And then I got back on and MIHH had already taken the words right out of my mouth.

I am a straight women married to a bi man. I just found out about my husband's bisexual side after 10 yrs. of marriage. That in itself was a shock to my system and really rocked my world upside down. I've joined this site to help understand bisexuality and be better able to understand his feelings and desires. That has improved greatly since coming on here and I have met some really great people because of it. However.......I can't change him from being who he is. I should never expect him to change. I do not have desires for women and he can't change me. You should never push a person into a situation they are not comfortable with. You should not expect them to try something just because you enjoy it. I think I would be very angry and hurt with my husband if he asked me to be with woman, just to see if I liked it. There are some things that you just don't ask another person to do. :2cents:

[CuteGeorgiaBoy]

I think that situations like that are one of the reasons people have such a tough time understanding bisexuals.
I was born a bisexual. I have always known I am bisexual, as a heterosexual person or a homosexual person is born knowing what they are also. For me, it is not so much a 'lifestyle choice' as it is a part of my being. I never had to mull it over. It is just a fact.
I don't think it is meant to be sampled, like a buffet because someone else eats there (no pun intended).
This is just my opinion though.

:flag2:

[kenny]

I think we are all bi inside. Our society tells us that same sex is bad, so many supress their feelings. If you would like to see if your partner might be willing, start telling him/her that same sex turns you on. Watch videos of bi couples/guys/girls. I am a bi male and if I had a partner that said something turned them on, I'd probably try it so that I would get to see them turned on.

[Ratchick]

First, to adrress Kenny_ I disagree that everyone is born Bi.
I know a lot of people who are monosexuals who were SOOOO born this way. I have a cousin I have known since birth. This boy was Homosexual from birth. HIs mom knew it, his dad knew it, friends of the family knew it. Now, no one ever pushed it him or suggested it. They just let him be who he was. At 15 he came-out to all of us and we just said,"Yeah we know".

Anyway Kenny, this assumption that everyone is Bi and society shapes our sexuality is a flawed POV. It is ridiculous to say eveyone is BI just as much as it is ridiculous to say everyone is Monsexual.
EVRYONE is different in thier sexuality. Making sweeping generalisations about the human race and it's sexulaity is too oversimplified.

Now X-Tac:
I agree with some others in saying unless your partner has expressed a desire to be Bi curious or thinks he/she is Bi, "Making" someone Bi is going to have detramental effects both to him/her and yoru relationship.
As this forum has adrressed before you can't "Make" someone Bi. Period.
In fact, it is kind of insulting to think that there are still people out there who belive you can be "Made Bi", just so thier partner can get thier rocks off!

Please don't force your partner into something they may not want to do.

Thanks,
RC

[Mrs.F]

I think we are all bi inside. Our society tells us that same sex is bad, so many supress their feelings. If you would like to see if your partner might be willing, start telling him/her that same sex turns you on. Watch videos of bi couples/guys/girls. I am a bi male and if I had a partner that said something turned them on, I'd probably try it so that I would get to see them turned on.

First off I agree with you that there are large numbers of people in the world today who think same sex is bad. I think many bi/gay people, including my husband supress their feelings from their partners out of fear and live with hurt and shame! There are always going to be ignorant people in this world unwilling to accept all people for who they are!

Second....I do not agree when you state that everyone is bi inside. I"m straight and have never had any desire to be with a woman. My husband can tell me till he's blue in the face that watching bi guys and girls get it on turns him on. There is no way he would tell me to try it just to see if I like it or to try it because it turned him on. If, however I expressed an interest in trying it that would make me bi-courious. But it still would have to be something "I" would want to try....making my own decision about it!

[xtac_2003]

Guys, sorry for the misunderstanding. Although at times I wish she was bi (LOL), I am not trying to get/force my partner to try bi. I am simply trying to start a topic and at the same time get others to post their opinion and learn from their experiences.

Jason

[Mrs.F]

Guys, sorry for the misunderstanding. Although at times I wish she was bi (LOL), I am not trying to get/force my partner to try bi. I am simply trying to start a topic and at the same time get others to post their opinion and learn from their experiences.

Jason

My opinion would still be the same. Unless the person has expressed intrest in trying it, there should be no forcing or pushing a person into something they are not comfortable with!

[jordok]

I do think that most people are bi - NOT all - but certainly most.

The question regarding tempting ones partner into participation is dependent upon your relationship. In your heart you know what the response will be.

Go with your instinct.

[xtac_2003]

I agree with Mrs F. I don't think you should force/push someone into trying something they don't want to do. However, I think couples should discuss it if one of the partners has an interest. There are so many curious people out there that are afraid of bringing up such a topic in their relationship, and who can blame them since they're afraid of how their partner will react, and,others' reaction if word gets out. So they continue living a frustrating life and that usually hurt their relationship. Ultimately, they end up going outside of that relationship to get/try what they have been wanting.
It's a tough situation. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't want my partner to try it if she didn't want to. At the same time if it's something I am really into, how would I enjoy my lifestyle?
So, Mrs F, since you're in that situation, what do you guys plan to do?

Jason

[Mrs.F]

Well xtac, to be perfectly honest with you. We are not right now discussing the future. We are just trying to deal with the present. It's all so new and fresh for both of us. For me, finding out was huge shock and I"m sad that he felt he had to keep it from me. But I do understand his fear and why he felt he had to. For him, it's been embarrassing and not a comfortable thing to discuss with me. Time will help both of us to feel comfortable with it and we can go on from there.

He's told me that he's fine with just being with me and maintaining our marriage and relationship. He was a teenager when he had his experiences. So, it's been many yrs. I don't want him to be unhappy and he states he's not, but at the same time...I'm not ready emotionally to let him go. I guess we just go one day at a time and if something comes up we will have to discuss together what are feelings are. :)