Does my bi friend fancy me or are we just friends?

[lilminniemouse]

Ok ... my first post, and it's a big question. I am a 42 yr old straight female, have known this guy for a few months, and to be honest he wasn't even on my radar ... too young (18 years younger to be precise) & also gay (or so I thought). Then a mutual friend tells me not only is he bi, but also prefers older women ... and he thinks I'm sexy (this was apparently said to them in confidence). I laughed it off as I didn't know what else to do. Anyway, we were both in other relationships at the time, so it really wasn't relevant. Now we're not, and suddenly it's VERY relevant.
I don't want to wreck a lovely supportive friendship. I have supported him thro his break up, and I have been very objective & was the friend he needed at the time.
I know where I stand with gay guys.... all the body language that says 'i like you' means just that. AAaaarrrggghhh. We're so comfortable together I just can't read the signs. He seems to keep finding reasons for us to spend time together, and always returns my messages. He also sends me messages, as in he's the first to text, not me. Maybe this just means he's a good friend? What should I do. If I sit back and do nothing, he might think there's no future in it and move on. If I make a move he could be horrified. I know you will probably say that him being bi is neither here nor there, but maybe bi guys are just naturally more flirty, more touchy feely & better company whereas somehow, the only reason a straight guy would be like that is for one thing and one thing only !!! (sorry) I realise he's very young, compared to me, but to be honest, I don't look or act my age, and I really really like him.

[TaylorMade]

If he is bi and likes you and the attraction is returned... maybe go out for a coffee and get to the bottom of things. Even if that's not the case, it can be played off as just a friendly coffee.

*Taylor*

[Bluebiyou]

A. Sometimes friends fuck.
B. You have no choice over who or what you fall in love with; it either happens or it doesn't.

[shameless agitator]

I would say flirt with him a little & see how he reacts. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

[lilminniemouse]

Hmmmm. I've though of bringing it up on conversation, like when he moans that no one seems to want him .... as in 'well I wouldn't say no to you' kind of thing, but my next biggest concern is, that although I know from our mutual friend that ultimately he thinks he will end up with a woman, and a family, he's probably not old enough to give up guys for good yet, even tho they keep letting him down. I couldn't cope with an 'open' relationship either. It would break my heart.... so would the being friends & f*cking too I think!

[lilminniemouse]

Thanks for all the help so far by the way. It's really awful when I can't discuss it with the one person I can discuss most everyting else with... lol!

[BiphobiaFighter]

[...] he's probably not old enough to give up guys for good yet, even tho they keep letting him down. I couldn't cope with an 'open' relationship either. It would break my heart.... so would the being friends & f*cking too I think!
A lot of bi people are monogamous. When those of us who are monogamous are into someone, we're into them 100% and don't want or need to be with anyone else. There are heaps of bi people (and people of other sexualities) that find open relationships to be right for them too. Maybe he's in the first category. :)

[parkerbi]

Just try the relationship for period and then you will know the answer. Go on or not. If he really love you, he will show it out and i believe you can feel it.