noabody
Jan 2, 2008, 11:10 PM
I'm 35 and my wife has known that I was bisexual from day one but never accepting. I read a couple of interesting things lately and since I put no positive belief in studies or statistics I'll just say that these are my opinions.
First, it is my general belief that there are at least double the amount of bisexual women to men in the U.S. In a male dominated society media portrays what men want as much as word of mouth. Men are generally not opposed to having sex with two women or watching two women make love to each other.
Second, bisexuals are much more likely to experience mental stress as a result. In a monogamous America you're really only moving between the heterosexual or the homosexual boxes, anything in between is shunned. People don't like indecisiveness, either you're gay or straight, pick a side.
The fact is that I have had sexual relationships with men and women. I only regret that I did not have the chance to have a meaningful emotional relationship with a man. Life is full of tough decisions. Marry the woman you love, or wait to marry a woman that you love that can also love the man that you love. It seemed like a long shot on the latter so I took the former.
At the time I was serving to protect our country in the troubled time of the Gulf War and that job meant I couldn't be myself, not openly. Then you eventually have children. How do you tell your kids any of this?! Some people go deeper and deeper underground. I've always been out and never been out. I won't tell anybody that I'm bisexual but you can tell. My parents know and my wife, that's it.
So why am I here? Everyone is looking for something. I stopped worrying about acceptance when I was sixteen. I've always wanted to understand why. How do we become this way? I can suggest media and society increase bisexuality in women but not in men. I don't imagine most men or women, gay or straight, want to see a couple of hairy sweaty men in bed.
Are more bisexuals nature or nurture? Does it have something to do with the people we are around when we become sexually aware? I've been sexually aware for over twenty-five years. Yeah, double check my age from the first paragraph. It was just an accident, something I discovered on my own. Having orgasms and awareness long before puberty must have a great impact on the psyche. I didn't fully understand what was going on and a deep fear resulted.
Eventually the lines blurred as far as attraction. I saw beauty in myself, I saw beauty in women. Men and women, they both had something I wanted to explore, emotionally and sexually.
By the age of sixteen I was completely addicted to orgasm and I was also intellectual and introverted. I was torn in pieces, trying to keep animalistic passions from tainting how I viewed the people around me. I wanted to be just like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, devoid of all emotion. So I bottled it all up and kept it under a tight stopper. Rationality prevailed and the greatest times in my life have been in the last five years, as I finally begin to feel my sexuality ebb somewhat and subside.
No, it's not all over. It just makes you think. A mind as deeply besieged by desire as mine sees the world differently. You have to make sure some circuits are never built. I was terrified when my daughter was born, how would she exist in my mind?
The beauty of children is indescribable. She's my little girl and that's all. I see her as she grows and see hints of the woman she will eventually become, her mind, her body, her spirit. I want to be sure that she will never have to deal with the burden that I did. Stay naive, stay pure just a little longer. She isn't a girl or a boy, she's my child.
That said, I see the girl friends that she has, they are all reaching their early teens. It bothers me that, although there is no circuitry to make a connection with regard to attraction, there is the realization that when they grow up to be women, there probably will be. I suppose it's a natural thing for men but how can we treat people fairly? Are our interactions with people always subconsciously influenced by attraction? Are we more apt to treat people favorably if we "like" them? Can true friendships only occur where there is no attraction at all?
I'm bisexual but I've alway had a preference for women. Women have such an incredible intrinsic beauty. I'm not exactly femme but I've often wanted to be beautiful, attractive; to be pursued and adored. I see beauty and ugliness in the mirror, don't we all?
That's a little insight into another human being, another perspective. My only goal was to make you think. I care not whether good or bad but please, when you reply, make your goal the same. I'm looking for your perspective.
For myself I like to exercise and be outdoors, not really traveling but rediscovering places I've seen before. There is a whole world out there to see but it's just as big in a field of flowers or by a mountain stream as it is hopping from continent to continent.
I'm not stuck with a woman that won't accept me, I live every day of my life with the woman that I love. I only wish that I could tell her everything that I feel and that I could feel the same pleasure from her that she feels from me.
"Jack Johnson, Flake"
I know she says it's alright, you can make it up next time.
I know she knows it's not right, there ain't no use in lying.
Maybe she thinks I know something, maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine.
Maybe she knows something I don't, I'm so, I'm so tired, so tired of trying.
It seems to me that maybe [we've pretty much always been this way] so don't tell me you might just let it go...
First, it is my general belief that there are at least double the amount of bisexual women to men in the U.S. In a male dominated society media portrays what men want as much as word of mouth. Men are generally not opposed to having sex with two women or watching two women make love to each other.
Second, bisexuals are much more likely to experience mental stress as a result. In a monogamous America you're really only moving between the heterosexual or the homosexual boxes, anything in between is shunned. People don't like indecisiveness, either you're gay or straight, pick a side.
The fact is that I have had sexual relationships with men and women. I only regret that I did not have the chance to have a meaningful emotional relationship with a man. Life is full of tough decisions. Marry the woman you love, or wait to marry a woman that you love that can also love the man that you love. It seemed like a long shot on the latter so I took the former.
At the time I was serving to protect our country in the troubled time of the Gulf War and that job meant I couldn't be myself, not openly. Then you eventually have children. How do you tell your kids any of this?! Some people go deeper and deeper underground. I've always been out and never been out. I won't tell anybody that I'm bisexual but you can tell. My parents know and my wife, that's it.
So why am I here? Everyone is looking for something. I stopped worrying about acceptance when I was sixteen. I've always wanted to understand why. How do we become this way? I can suggest media and society increase bisexuality in women but not in men. I don't imagine most men or women, gay or straight, want to see a couple of hairy sweaty men in bed.
Are more bisexuals nature or nurture? Does it have something to do with the people we are around when we become sexually aware? I've been sexually aware for over twenty-five years. Yeah, double check my age from the first paragraph. It was just an accident, something I discovered on my own. Having orgasms and awareness long before puberty must have a great impact on the psyche. I didn't fully understand what was going on and a deep fear resulted.
Eventually the lines blurred as far as attraction. I saw beauty in myself, I saw beauty in women. Men and women, they both had something I wanted to explore, emotionally and sexually.
By the age of sixteen I was completely addicted to orgasm and I was also intellectual and introverted. I was torn in pieces, trying to keep animalistic passions from tainting how I viewed the people around me. I wanted to be just like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, devoid of all emotion. So I bottled it all up and kept it under a tight stopper. Rationality prevailed and the greatest times in my life have been in the last five years, as I finally begin to feel my sexuality ebb somewhat and subside.
No, it's not all over. It just makes you think. A mind as deeply besieged by desire as mine sees the world differently. You have to make sure some circuits are never built. I was terrified when my daughter was born, how would she exist in my mind?
The beauty of children is indescribable. She's my little girl and that's all. I see her as she grows and see hints of the woman she will eventually become, her mind, her body, her spirit. I want to be sure that she will never have to deal with the burden that I did. Stay naive, stay pure just a little longer. She isn't a girl or a boy, she's my child.
That said, I see the girl friends that she has, they are all reaching their early teens. It bothers me that, although there is no circuitry to make a connection with regard to attraction, there is the realization that when they grow up to be women, there probably will be. I suppose it's a natural thing for men but how can we treat people fairly? Are our interactions with people always subconsciously influenced by attraction? Are we more apt to treat people favorably if we "like" them? Can true friendships only occur where there is no attraction at all?
I'm bisexual but I've alway had a preference for women. Women have such an incredible intrinsic beauty. I'm not exactly femme but I've often wanted to be beautiful, attractive; to be pursued and adored. I see beauty and ugliness in the mirror, don't we all?
That's a little insight into another human being, another perspective. My only goal was to make you think. I care not whether good or bad but please, when you reply, make your goal the same. I'm looking for your perspective.
For myself I like to exercise and be outdoors, not really traveling but rediscovering places I've seen before. There is a whole world out there to see but it's just as big in a field of flowers or by a mountain stream as it is hopping from continent to continent.
I'm not stuck with a woman that won't accept me, I live every day of my life with the woman that I love. I only wish that I could tell her everything that I feel and that I could feel the same pleasure from her that she feels from me.
"Jack Johnson, Flake"
I know she says it's alright, you can make it up next time.
I know she knows it's not right, there ain't no use in lying.
Maybe she thinks I know something, maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine.
Maybe she knows something I don't, I'm so, I'm so tired, so tired of trying.
It seems to me that maybe [we've pretty much always been this way] so don't tell me you might just let it go...