To be happy...

[Bella12]

Hi guys,
I posted a little while ago about my almost-experience with a good friend of mine, how she freaked out and texted me the next day saying what we did was not right, and will never happen again, which hurt, cos I loved it, what little I got to experience of her... She texted me again yesterday, asking me not to tell anyone about it because she doesn't want anyone to know. This hurts, because I wouldn't tell anyone we know anyway, but mostly because of how ashamed she seems to be.

So I know I just need to move on, I wish I could help her but I don't think she wants to talk about it. I know she was into it at the time, with liquid-loosened inhibitions, but now I think she just wants to repress her feelings. Which makes me sad, for her sake, because I love her as a friend too.

So basically the point of all this is I have only recently identified as bisexual, even though I have really known since I was about 13. And I have never felt ashamed. A bit scared maybe, apprehensive, but I have never felt that what I feel is wrong, to me it is natural and exactly right. And I think this site supports my opinion very well. So I will nurture myself as I wish my friend could do, and be proud and happy with who I am. Thank you all for helping me along this path, and warm wishes to everyone.

Bella xo

[binbi42]

Hi Bella,

We admire your courage and resilience. Time has a way of healing many things. It is our belief that those that guide our paths have only our best interest at heart. We both wish you safe journey and extend the same to your friend as well.

A&J ;)

[RainbowBright]

:tong: you are right. happiness is what matters. time will heal hurt feelings, and maybe she was just curious as well.. just wait.. you naver know maybe.. just maybe.. she is just scared.. and will come to you asking questions. reguardless as to what happens.. if you are happy life will go as you want.. i commend you and wish you luck.

RainbowBright

[Trek7200]

Alcohol is a great truth serum :bigrin:

The last guy I went out with was similar. We chatted for a long time, then he finally decided to meet with me. We went to a strip club, had a few drinks and watched several amply bosomed young ladies gyrate for us. We then left and had a great time back at his place. Then he didn't return my messages or calls for a couple weeks. Finally got a message from him that what we did was wrong and he'd never want to do it again. About 4 months later, he emailed me and told me he'd come to terms with his feelings, opened up to his girlfriend and wanted to give a chance to having a boyfriend to compliment his girlfriend. I gave him another chance. We had a great time again, very satisfying for both of us, and then he did it again - stopped answering emails and phone calls. About a month after that he had the balls to ask me to get together for a beer, but this time I declined. :cool:

[bigregory]

You go girl...

[Nara_lovely]

It's hard, absolutely. But for each person is their own timing.
For each new experience, is a lifetime of being told what 'SHOULD' be, the consequences, the fears.
This is wrong
Don't be like that
Be normal
The proper way is...
Everyone thinks....
(until the mass consensus changes!)


Ugh. It's a wonder anyone can function!

The strength from within to really know yourself is amazing. It gives you courage, it "gives you wings" it energizes you...wow what a ride.
And......it's there for anyone who dares to search for it.

Enjoy your journey, and celebrate the baby steps others are still taking.

Nara :flag3:

[rupertbare]

Hi Bella!!

I don't know if this in anyway helps you but I share anyway:

My first bi-experience - in my 20's - led both myself and the other guy to feel ashamed, shock (at our enjoyment) and on his part an attitude of "it never happened".

For me it was the big "turning point" - things about my sexuality that I was aware of, but was supressing. I knew I wasn't gay - women turn me on too much - and sex was always fulfilling with women. But I also knew, by society's definition, that I wasn't "straight". I prefer the term that's been used on this site lately, biamourous, the ability to love both sexes equally and physically and, it goes without saying, that for many of us monogomously!!

Don't know if it helps.

Rupe :)

[texasman6172003]

Hi belle,You should never be ashamed of your bisexuality, None of us ever should be. Ihope things work out with yur friend,. Remember you have friends here. Love.Charles,,,Tex....

[searchingbrian]

Just like any relationship, bisexual relationships are subject to the personalities, traits, and beliefs of the individuals involved. Unfortunately, for bisexual people, there are also many "beliefs" to overcome. Don't be too discouraged by your friends reaction. She may be doing this simply to satisfy her own need to "tell herself" that she didn't like it, too. Maybe she will come around and maybe not, but if you value your friendship, give her space and see what happens.

[innaminka]

Hi guys,
I posted a little while ago about my almost-experience with a good friend of mine, how she freaked out and texted me the next day saying what we did was not right, and will never happen again, which hurt, cos I loved it, what little I got to experience of her... She texted me again yesterday, asking me not to tell anyone about it because she doesn't want anyone to know. This hurts, because I wouldn't tell anyone we know anyway, but mostly because of how ashamed she seems to be.



Bella, as a lady with probably a bit of maturity and (probably) a fair bit more experience on her side, what you encountered is not uncommon.
It is the perrenial hurdle that esp bi and sometime lesbian women run up against.
There are many women out there who have seen a bit of porn or heard something, had a few drinks and have decided they are bi-curious (beware that term!! :rolleyes: )
This is not a rail against those ladies who honestly believe what they feel, but believe me, at the moment of getting serious about it they realise what they are doing is not for them.

Don't be angry at your friend - it is a very natural and honest reaction. As you wrote, maybe the alcohol pushed her further than she might have gone if sober.
Don't blame yourself either. What you did was completely innocent of premeditation or "predation."
Its a part of life's tapestry for us bi gals. We will get knockbacks and next morning regrets.

just keep smiling - move on and try to maintain your friendship.