I LOST THE ONLY PERSON I LOVED

[tracie18]

I have lost the only person i love 2 days, she tolded me she neva loved me, i was heart broken, i thought our relationship was all good, it was open with everthing, i cry my self to sleep cause i miss hear, i am in pain and it hurts, i dont no wat to do, i have tryed to talk to her but she just tell me to ova it.

:'( can anyone help me

[The Barefoot Contess]

Being heartbroken is one of the most painful situations in which someone can be, especially when you are 18. But things will get better, I promise. It looks like it is, but this is not the end of your life. You will love again, and be happy again, and you will perhaps break someone's heart, and you will be sad... those are the things that relationships imply, and those are the things that make us humans.
It is ok to feel sad and mourn for a while, people need time to heal and see the light at the end of the tunnel for themselves, but also don't let sadness or anger or fear of another rejection get in the way of meeting other people or enjoying life's opportunities. Time will help you put things in perspective.
Best of luck,

[arana]

Sorry you're at a loss Tracie, but as Contess says, time heals. Is this the same girlfriend you lost a few months ago or a new one? You weren't clear on if you got back together with the old one you had broke up with after 9 months or if you found a new one...

[shameless agitator]

I'm so sorry Tracie. Contess is right though, this too shall pass. If you need to talk, feel free to pm me.

[DiamondDog]

Sorry to hear that.
Time heals all wounds as they say.

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

I am so sorry I had a similar situation....

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs ya tracie.... all I can say, is cry.....don't try to bottle it up or *heal * youself by rushing out and taking on another relationship or casual sex...... just sit down and cry.....

I could say all the things like time heals etc... and thats true...... very true...... its managing to make it thru the time it takes to heal... that is hard..... so all I can offer is the advice of * cry, just cry and allow the emotions to run free......*

[Azrael]

I empathize.
I broke off my engagement when I was in the midst of ultradian rapid cycling.
I lost 40 pounds, slept an hour a night, if that, hallucinated, hyperventilated and screamed for help from the insurance company that said all these things weren't a life threatening condition.
We both got into drugs pretty hard, a bunch of fucked up stuff happened (she was unfaithful), and I finally couldn't take it anymore.
To this day I wonder what would have happened if they had gotten my mood swings under control :( I tried, but I got lost in the bureaucracy until it got so bad I was confined for 6 weeks on a 5150. they abruptly took me off high doses of a SSRI and a benzo. I kept seeing her face as I was having brain shivers (mini seizures).
It's been almost 2 years. The wound is still bleeding.
On the other hand, I've not had a panic attack since I let go of her.
I had to choose myself, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Feel free to drop me a line if the mood suits you.
The first love always hurts the worst.

that's why I had the lyrics to AFI's 'God called in sick today' as my sig so long.
at least it makes sense to me :(

[12voltman59]

Tracie--forgive me for sounding like a daddy--but you could be my kid----at least in terms of age---

It sounds trite and I know your heart is breaking over the loss of your love-but the pain of it does fade and you go one with your life--with your experience I say-welcome to the human race for each of us has had such an experience at least once if not a number of times in our lives--

Go ahead and have yourself some good, soak your hankies, shudder down to your toes cries---and put on the damn saddest songs you can---especially the ones that you guys enjoyed together-----

Believe me---you will get over the end of this relationship---but if you are really bummed and depressed over it--if you are at college then maybe you might consider going to the school's mental health counselling----just to help you deal with it---I am sure they have counselors to help students deal with relationship breakup---

You will get over this--and you will find-this experience will make you a stronger, wiser person----and it will prepare you for when it happens again -because if you live any length of time at all--you will experience this again at some point in the future.

Good luck----

[FerociousFeline]

Well, ahem.

Gosh, I wish I could wave my magic wand and take the pain away....

But the truth is darlin' that time doesn't heal shit. It's been over a year for me and I am STILL prone to sobbing attacks. What I would like to pass on to you is the small amount of wisdom that I HAVE gained from the experience.

People say that time heals all. I think that this is a crock. What really happens is that when you are in an intimate relationship with someone, they are your whole world. Because of this, it is like there is this GIANT MAGNIFYING GLASS on you and your beloved. When your lover suddenly tells you that they want out, (or, in my case, when they just kinda take off and get married to someone else after telling you the whole time that they will never marry again) You are left standing in the situation and the rest of the entire world seems tiny by comparison. The very IDEA that you might be able to pick up your toys and find a new (and BETTER I might add) playmate seems absolutely inconceivable. The truth is, what happens over time is....

That your life continues....and as it does, the peaks and valleys of your emotional responses to what happen to you become MORE magnified, than the feelings you have about your ex. Why? Because they are closer to you in the time-line and are fresh. So, it isn't that time heals anything. It's a sloppy way of saying, IN time, your ex and what the loss of them feels like to you will be diminished. I know that I am normally very generous with my ex's. This last one, however, was truly a monster. Most of my ex-lovers I can call and speak with. There are one or two though, who because of the way they disengaged from the relationship, do not deserve the benefit of me in their life in any form or fashion. Did you get how cocky that sounds? Try it. Because it's TRUE. If someone ends a relationship in a hateful way, they really DON"T deserve to have you in their life. Eventually, they will realize their mistake, but you need not spend any of your precious heart's energy lamenting their stupidity.

Sorry, I know I'm wandering around here, but the point I am trying to make is simply this:

Find and love yourself honey. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of your own respect. Don't get into relationships with people who show you at the very beginning that they will not or can not .....respect you. To get into relationships with people like that is a way that you show yourself that you neither love, nor respect....yourself.

Having said that, sometimes you just run into mean people. When that happens, you just get out there and find someone who, like yourself, is in pain, and you lend them a hand. You do whatever it takes to get that person up off the ground. Because while you are thinking about that person, you WON"T be thinking about yourself, or how much your heart hurts.

I hope this helps.

FF

[Bisexualnewbie]

Hi Tracie,
I've been through a few times like yours myself, time does heal, take time out now to do things YOU want to do and look after yourself, the best way of getting over breakups is to move on and not look back, even if sometimes its hard to.
Someone once told me there are plenty more fish in the sea and this is a REALLY big ocean.
:)

[NiceQuietGal]

Sorry you're at a loss Tracie, but as Contess says, time heals. Is this the same girlfriend you lost a few months ago or a new one? You weren't clear on if you got back together with the old one you had broke up with after 9 months or if you found a new one...

Same girl Arana.....
They broke up but got back together again..

Tracie, Im sorry to hear that!! what happened?? You were telling me everything seemed to be going great and strong and even made plans for Jan :(

What changed?? Im sorry to hear things didn't work out :( Everything will be Ok and remember Im your friend and so is everyone on this board!!

[onewhocares]

Tracie,

Having someone you care deeply for and leaves is not easy. Things happen for a reason I believe. I think you will be an even stronger person. It will hurt, believe me, I know how hard love loss can be.

Belle

[rmorti]

Time makes things get better. Although I can hardly talk, I still check my ex facebook profile and txt her randomly as I still wnat to be part of her life and it kills me that she is sort of moving on. I dumped her too so its worse as it feels like Karma. Either way, time is the only solution...that and some form of hobby...

[Gemini25]

Find and love yourself honey. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of your own respect. Don't get into relationships with people who show you at the very beginning that they will not or can not .....respect you. To get into relationships with people like that is a way that you show yourself that you neither love, nor respect....yourself.

Perfectly said Ferocios Feline. Yes you are in pain right now, and yes time makes things better, but you need to love yourself, and know you are worthy of the very best life has to offer. You are still very young. Just concentrate on going to school, or what ever plans you have to shape your future, and surprisingly one day you'll look back and the pain might be gone. But right now, I agree with previouse people as well that you need to cry, feel all the feelings and emotions you have going on inside right now. Let it all out, don't hold anything back. That way when you are ready to move on you wont hold on to any unresolved emotions. ((((((((Big Hugs to you )))))))) and a Hankey if you need it. :bibounce:

[tracie18]

Thanks friends your the best :) it has made me realise that its no the end of the world. I feel worse cause she wont talk about it to me.

[Gemini25]

Thanks friends your the best :) it has made me realise that its no the end of the world. I feel worse cause she wont talk about it to me.

I know what you are going through. My ex refuses to talk to me about anything pertaining to our relationship, or what he's thinking or feeling. It is very frustrating and upseting, because of all the time (years & years) shared with this person I thought I was close to. To have them shut you out just isn't fair. But you know what, life isn't fair, and we will probably never get the real reason why our ex's are acting like they are, and you know what else, it's only going to hurt them. If they can't express what they are feeling, and learn to communicate, they will keep going through the same experiences looking for a different out come, and it wont be there. Best of luck to you my dear, you always have friends here. :flag1:

[liquidcandycain]

i had the same thing happen with someone i was with allmost 3 years her girl even called me dad then oneday she just decided she didnt want to be with me anymore i cried abit then said ya know im not going to look for anyone at all and i didnt i mean just quit the dateing scene and lowand behold i met the most awsome person in the world hang in there it will get better time heals all and so does a good shot of strong spriits lol just kidding

[CMack]

If she won't talk to you about it, then she is acting very immature. Perhaps it's for the best to turn on your heel and move in your own direction. Stand tall, be proud of yourself and never let others break you down. You must look in the mirror and see the wonderful person you are and then you must tell yourself that if you truly care for her, you will let her go and let her do whatever she needs to do. You must do the same. There is a heck of a lot of life ahead of you and thngs you can't even imagine have yet to come to pass...