Now I need a Support Group

[Sarasvati]

I have just received an "infraction" from the moderator for supposedly insulting another member in her thread about "needing support groups".

I would like others to offer their views on the justification for this.

In my view, the comment I posted did aim at challenging the foundations of the arguments that the other member had made. And clearly I did so very successfully.

Yes I was challenging to her and I thoroughly enjoyed being so - but I was not insulting.

She simply does not like to be challenged on her views. Indeed her views could easily be perceived as highly offensive to many.

Compared to my post, far worse things are frequently expressed and posted up on this site (including direct personal insults). And most of us just find a way of dealing with those without bringing in the moderators.

I feel the "infraction" is an outrageous assault on my freedom of expression.

The moderators can kick me out or shut me up if they want to. They have that power. But if they do so they will inflict far more damage to their site than they will do to me.

[shameless agitator]

Umm what?! I had to go back and re-read the post, but I didn't find it insulting or even challenging as far as that goes. Looked to me like you simply asked a pointed, legitimate question.

[Sarasvati]

Thank you Shameless. Your comments are much appreciated.

[The Barefoot Contess]

I don't think what you said deserves such measure. I agree with SA, you asked a legitimate question. We've seen much worse accusations and direct insults in here.

[gfofbiguy]

Umm what?! I had to go back and re-read the post, but I didn't find it insulting or even challenging as far as that goes. Looked to me like you simply asked a pointed, legitimate question.

I completely agree...I could not find a reason why your question would have been construed as insulting, ~maybe~ challenging, but I didn't even get that from your question, myself.

I hope that you don't get kicked out or "shut up" for your question - as I enjoy reading your posts and comments and thoughts and I have never come across any that I would regard as insulting - challenging occasionally, funny, silly, thought-provoking, intelligent frequently. I think this site would lose a valued member if they were to kick you out or shut you up. Just my :2cents:

[Brian]

I have just received an "infraction" from the moderator for supposedly insulting another member in her thread about "needing support groups".

I would like others to offer their views on the justification for this.

In my view, the comment I posted did aim at challenging the foundations of the arguments that the other member had made. And clearly I did so very successfully.

Yes I was challenging to her and I thoroughly enjoyed being so - but I was not insulting.

She simply does not like to be challenged on her views. Indeed her views could easily be perceived as highly offensive to many.

Compared to my post, far worse things are frequently expressed and posted up on this site (including direct personal insults). And most of us just find a way of dealing with those without bringing in the moderators.

I feel the "infraction" is an outrageous assault on my freedom of expression.

The moderators can kick me out or shut me up if they want to. They have that power. But if they do so they will inflict far more damage to their site than they will do to me.

You said

So why do you have such a desperate need to tell all of us all this?
That's not a "legitimate question". That is an insult with a question mark tacked on the end.

I have no intention of getting involved in some of the "fighting" that goes on here, but I have noticed a slow descent into an area where I do not want the site to be - so I am going to be spending more time here in the coming weeks and I will be enforcing rule number 2: "Be polite - flame the idea if you feel you must, but not the person."

Best regards to all.

- Drew :paw:

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Well said Drew , it did seem rude to me as well.

[shameless agitator]

Censorship at it's finest. I guess I'll be in deep sh*t pretty soon too.

[TaylorMade]

It's not censorship... it's an uneven application. . .I know I've said worse, but didn't receive notice of an infraction.

My advice, S? Take your lumps... you got caught, take it like a man.

*Taylor*

[Sarasvati]

That's not a "legitimate question". That is an insult with a question mark tacked on the end.

I made a completely legitimate statement about values in which I included a question for Vittoria. I promoted the values exhibited by Belle in contrast to those exhibited by Vittoria.

Why?

Because the views expounded by Vittoria are utterly offensive to me. And those of Belle truly worthy by comparison.

Why the hell should another person here be entitled to insult me and many others? Vittoria's thread was arguing that needy people who seek help from others are losers - think about it, reread it - it is offensive.

Drew, you have simply misunderstood the question I asked Vittoria.

In her thread she explained how she was an empowered person and had no need of any support groups. And she was championing that disposition as virtuous.

My question exposed the fact that she had felt the need to use the site as a support group in order to tell us this. In other words, she had failed to do what she had claimed to be doing in her post. She needed us to listen to her. Her behaviour on the site contradicted her arguments in her thread.

I was saying "hey even you, who is so empowered, is needy", just look at the evidence.

All I did was hold up a mirror to reflect her own self back to herself.

And she didn't like it. But that doesn't make it wrong of me to take that action. Nor does it make it insulting.

I was sensitive to her which is why I was able to get through to her psyche so easily.

My aim was to trigger some self reflection - not to be destructive.

It's true I've not got along with Vittoria. And she says things that I find very offensive frequently. I would much prefer to like her than not but when people express unpleasant views so strongly, so often it becomes difficult to get along.

And I want to retain the liberty to challenge and attack views that I do not like.

It is me who has been outrgeously attacked and insulted.

I'd rather be booted off this site than surrender to this misguided authoritarianism.

[csrakate]

There is a fine line between attacking an idea that you do not like and attacking the person who expressed that idea. You, my friend, crossed that line. Suck it up to experience and move on...why must we always get ourselves bogged down in the quest to prove we are right????

I am embarrassed that Drew now finds a need to come down here and keep us in line! Whatever happened to "live and let live" and arguing a topic judiciously?? I think it is high time we put an end to these "pseudo intellectual debates" that are becoming more like pissing matches!! Express your opinions...feel good for having done so...and then move on to the next issue at hand. Let us stop this divisive activity that is fast making the forum the place to avoid.

Hugs,
Kate

[Sarasvati]

There is a fine line between attacking an idea that you do not like and attacking the person who expressed that idea. You, my friend, crossed that line. Suck it up to experience and move on...why must we always get ourselves bogged down in the quest to prove we are right????

I am embarrassed that Drew now finds a need to come down here and keep us in line! Whatever happened to "live and let live" and arguing a topic judiciously?? I think it is high time we put an end to these "pseudo intellectual debates" that are becoming more like pissing matches!! Express your opinions...feel good for having done so...and then move on to the next issue at hand. Let us stop this divisive activity that is fast making the forum the place to avoid.

Hugs,
Kate

Well be contented with your superiority - you fucking moron

[Emma7669]

I am one who has avoided the forums due to the lack of courtesy being displayed by the posters.....Sarvasti, your last post is hopefully the last we will hear from you.

Marie E Schultz

[shameless agitator]

Well be contented with your superiority - you fucking moronI was with you at first, but now you have crossed the line.

[TaylorMade]

There is a fine line between attacking an idea that you do not like and attacking the person who expressed that idea. You, my friend, crossed that line. Suck it up to experience and move on...why must we always get ourselves bogged down in the quest to prove we are right????

I am embarrassed that Drew now finds a need to come down here and keep us in line! Whatever happened to "live and let live" and arguing a topic judiciously?? I think it is high time we put an end to these "pseudo intellectual debates" that are becoming more like pissing matches!! Express your opinions...feel good for having done so...and then move on to the next issue at hand. Let us stop this divisive activity that is fast making the forum the place to avoid.

Hugs,
Kate


Kate. . .this is a reality at ANY message board. . . They're kinda like human ecosystems... flawed, fucked up human ecosystems, but you WILL have the psuedo-intellectuals, the uber-(ir)religous, the arch conservative/liberals, the bliss ninnies. . .

Mike Reed, an artist, captured them each perfectly here- - >Flame Warriors (http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/)

*Taylor*

[Sarasvati]

I've asked to have my account deleted. You'll be pleased i've gone.

It was the only reply she deserved

[thinkfree39]

Vittoria's post was very offensive to me. Crying on shoulders? Support groups are about sharing. That's exactly what she was doing, sharing her feelings about how she didn't need to share her feelings.

[Sarasvati]

You got my point thinkfree.

Cheers mate

I'm waiting 4 my execution though. I don't want to be among some of the rubbish on this site anymore.

[Doggie_Wood]

Well be contented with your superiority - you fucking moron

In your previous thread - I wished that you would not go.
I reverse that wish and hope that you depart most expeditiously.
You, are a flame thrower and will forever be on my iggy list solong as you are on this site.
You have just crossed the line with a great number of people, of which I am one.

Good bye and good ridance.

JD :doggie:

[Azrael]

I guess this post belongs here, my bad :tong:
http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?p=87677#post87677

[Azrael]

I was with you at first, but now you have crossed the line.

I have got to start thoroughly reading threads before I reply. You shot yourself down, dood.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

I've asked to have my account deleted. You'll be pleased i've gone.

It was the only reply she deserved

I have to say im really disappointed. It's to bad that you couldn't just have worked this out. Maybe even talked to Vittoria, pick her brain, see why she thinks as she does. This really did go to far, when it didn't have to. I know you enjoy coming here. If you really feel you want your account deleted , and have asked for such, maybe its time you just stopped coming. Go and not look back ya know ? I mean why would you want to if this place isnt right for you.

Kate was stating an opinion too, didn't flame you and you called her such a horrible name. Time for you to leave pal. Good luck with yourself.

[darkeyes]

S hun... chill willya... petulance turnin 2 bitta an twisted is even less becummin... life 2 short an we hav enuff probs in world wivout goin down that road... so jus as lil ovaindulegnce repeat wot me sed in the otha thread...

Copied from thread "I gotta get outa this place"

Awww diddums S... The ref dishes out lil yellow card an so ya not gonna play ne more?

Will b honest wivya ya, seems 2 me 2 b act of big babba.. can c wy V got lil hot unda colla, but wudnta been summat me did cos argument an battlin spica life ... wenya contribute 2 a public forum ya gorra take rough wiv the smooth.. hav enjoyed our lil exchanges an lotsa ya otha cotribs an will miss ya but peeps dus hav ther own sensitivities an ya has gorra undastand that... summa urs r showin through by way ya reactin ova ya grievance... an so ya needs ta grow lil thicka skin wen ya gets ya knuckles wrapped... nowt rong wiv appealin 2 the wider audience for wotya c as justice..peeps do that all the time in life.. but yas beginnin 2 show a petulance wich aint becummin. Callin Mumsy a moron in anotha linked thread in facta lil more than petulance.... don deny that jus ocasionally me gets het up an hits out an lets things get personal.. but at least wen me dus it tries an justifies it wile still stikkin 2 factsa the case an argue reasonably coherently (sed try ere..didn say always succeeded)... tempa an awful thing an don excuse it... aint any excuse for petulance eitha..

If ya dus decide 2 move on ya will b missed S..me will ne way... not jus cossa ya lil crush.. still havent had time 2 wade through everythin ere 2 make a final comment...mite b unnecessary by time me dus... dunno yet.. but chill babes an take time 2 think it through.. mayb in cold lita day ya will find mayb ya cudda dun summat betta cant say bout that eitha.. but walkin off pitch an not playin ne more cosya had lil bollokkin, wetha ya feel it justified or not aint act of a grown up.. we hav enuff babbas in ere as it is..don need ne more...
__________________

[Skater Boy]

lol, see... I leave you lot alone for a while and THIS is what happens! :bigrin:

Tbh, I'm not sure Sarasvati's original comment alone deserved such action. His comment was legitimate. But I guess it was, in his usual way, slightly pointed and open to interpretation in a negative manner. that said, I remember GEL's thread about the "racist slur" which got pretty heated, and no-one got cautioned in that one, as far as I know. So I guess it all comes down to what side of the bed Drew got out of on. Anyway, it seems like Drew has banned Sarasvati altogether now, which is a real shame, but thats life.

However, I do agree with Drew that there's been a bit of an unpleasant tone on this forum occasionally of late. To prevent myself contributing to any negativity, I've decided to give it a rest for now, and concentrate on more important things. I'm sure the forum will persevere and eventually grow to be even stronger than it was.

Oh, and love the post you linked to Tom... the world need more people like you. :)

[rissababynta]

wow, i don't come on for a week and look at what i miss. hmm

[the mage]

ya............geeze ...........
I take a few days off at a time from this place then go at it again for a couple but in the midst I missed more drama than even I manage to set off!!

I got booted for a week, didnt bother me much, the reality is that an Id gets banned but a person can easily get back in..
Thing is that online posting become a reality of their own and the persons involved SO VERY OFTEN MISREAD postings and intent due to lack of physical expression associated with it.

We judge each other on our posting, but we only post about the things we are passionate about. You see the built in collision do you not???

Drew told me to "chill out" while banned. I did.
I'm still passionate about life and will not back off when lives are at stake but it is after all, its just a bunch of 1's and 0's.

I will not run away from them or hopefully the truth that is out there somewhere behind them.

[gfofbiguy]

I was with you at first, but after what you said to csrakate, I'm not - that was extremely rude and uncalled for.

[HennaHunny]

Hmmmmm.......am wondering...who has the right to decide what is and isn't a ''legitimate question''.........sounded perfectly legitimate to me