The Internet and Sex or Hello out there!!!

[jazzer]

My wife and I are into MMF threesomes and they are just wonderful. She is very straight and I am very into men and dicks, mind you she loves them too.
Well to make a long story short, our male partner decided for personal reasons to leave us (bugger). So as I am gutless when it comes to asking a guy if he is a cock lover, we went back to the internet to find a replacement.
Now the internet can be a great way to meet people but it can be a trap for young players.
My personal experience is as follows:-
(1) People post other people's photos.
(2) People post a personal young beautiful photo before they reached 20 stone.
(3) People lie about their age.
(4) people lie about being a couple when they are actually a man looking for sex.
(5) People say they are straight when they are actually bisexual or bicurious.
(6) People lie about their marital status.
(6) Men lie about being circumcised when that is your preferred choice.
(7) People say they have "some extra padding" or are "average" in build when they are actually blimps and how they peceive themselves is totally unrelated to the 20+ stone they now weigh.
(8) Looking for a well endowed penis? Well just be aware that a close up shot can make a little penis look huge. Digital photography and supporting software can also allow you to alter the actual dimensions and appearance of your body and it's naughty bits to look great.

So you think you have found the person/people you want to meet. Well this can be the really scary part.
(1) First contact can be a real problem. Initially contact the people through the internet site and do not use your own identifying email address.
(2) If they sound ok and they give you a phone number to call them, use a public phone or a phone which will not allow them to identify who you are.
(3) Set up a non identifying email address for personal emails.
(4) "I don't want to get into personal email ping pong". If they say that tell them to get lost. If they can't chat to someone on an email they have something to hide. People will tell you a heck of a lot about themselves in an email, whereas they will not do so face to face. Probe them with questions, look for words that betray them and get a feel for how they really think. Instant messenger is great because people don't have the time to fabricate an answer to your questions,
(5) The meeting finally should be in a public place for a coffee or a drink. If your selection does not meet with your approval, finish the coffee, say goodbye and politely leave.

Footnote:
We have just found a really nice guy to join us sexually in a threesome using the internet who is all he claims to be and at this stage we are all very happy. Only time will tell.
Good luck to people who use the internet to find people, it can work for you if you are wary.

[jo69guy]

This is great advice! Until I found my current partner, I had some of these same problems. My partner went through it too. Also, meeting in public ina neutral setting is ideal, because that way everyone is safer. :bipride:

[binbi42]

I had to laugh while reading your post Jazzer...with you not at you ...as I recall some of the experiences we have had over the last couple of years. Sometimes you have to sift through a lot of sand to find those nuggets of gold... but "there is gold in them thar hills"...and it is possible via the internet to find others that are honest and sincere...My greatest find was my wife / soul-mate. We met via the internet and have been together going on 9 years now. The last 3 years as husband and wife.
We have had the good fortune of meeting some great people via the internet and our fair share of those less than honest as well. Some of our experiences have been challenging especially where sex is involved. We post our profile with as much honesty as we care to disclose and go through a series of Emails before we decide on whether or not to schedule a meeting. Meeting other couples has never been a problem...meeting other bi couples where both are bi...a different story...We have friends that we know well that have recently joined this site via our recommendation. There is an energy to this site that we have not found elsewhere. We are not sure if it is because it is a bi site, or just the kind of people that it attracts. However, so far...it has been everything we had hoped to find. Having been members else where, it is gratifying to meet people with the openness and capability for sharing.

A&J

[lastlaf44]

Actually, that point you made there, about finding couples where both in the relationship are bi. How difficult is it to find mf couples like that?

~LastLaugh~ :female:

[binbi42]

"Actually, that point you made there, about finding couples where both in the relationship are bi. How difficult is it to find mf couples like that"?

Finding other bi couples hasn't been extremely difficult in our case. We've had the good fortune to meet perhaps five or six couples over the last two years. Finding bi couples where the comfort level and attractions are equal has been a little more difficult.It's funny that now that I'm with someone that shares my interests and desires to explore, that a new form of discrimination has been leveled at us. It was difficult enough to find: (A ) Couples that want to explore their sexuality with other couples. (B) Bi couples tht want to explore there sexuality with other bi couples. ** Just going from A to B here slimmed the odds considerably as you would imagine** (C) Bi couples that want to explore their sexuality with other bi couples that don't feel that being 50 or older means your dead or near dying LOL.
A few weeks back I was having a conversation with a genteman both of us standing nude in a lage jacuzzi of water. It's a nudist resort we frequent occasionally and the people there are always friendly and ready to talk. The subject turned somehow to age and I mentioned to him that as a younger person, the age of 50 always sounded old to me...( I'm now 54) He laughed as recalled feeling that same way when he was younger as well. Then he said "Hell. I remember when 60 sounded old to me". We both laughed again and I said to him with a totally straight face. Hey.Wait a minuet. 60 is old."
he reflected for a moment before I burst out laughing again..the point is..like many things..it's all relative to where you are in the moment..
Next life I'm comming back rich, bi ,and will start younger...either that, or a cocker spaniel... :rolleyes:

Ayre

[jazzer]

Finding a couple where both the man and woman are bisexual is very difficult, and speaking to people on this site only confirms this.
I was hoping that my thread would get some people to share their internet experiences with the site, but that hasn't happened. Perhaps I should start a new thread.
Thanks to everyone who has given me such positive feeback in the chatroom.
;) :)

[wanderingrichard]

<sigh>. had to do this the hard way, since i could not find a way via this site to PM you jazzer..

don't give up on this thread you have started.. just to restart the same thing under another name .. you have a good idea here it would be a shame to waste it..

it took me a long time to find a lady playmate who is also bi.. actually , she found me.. we were together 2 years before she had to leave for overseas work.. while playing as a dual bi couple, yes, the field is very slim.. we'd found that our best friendships came from singles of either gender who are also bi.. sometimes we'd play with one or two of her friends where only the wife or hubby is bi and has permission to play solo, .. tho mainly they seemed interested in her. [ yeah it hurts to say that]

we didnt get much in the way of responses when searching, either, as paired bi's.. most of the time we got screaming replies about "NO BI MEN!! NO MEN! WE ONLY WANT BI WOMEN!" which has always prompted me to comment on the security of the man's sexuality in that particular relationship, and his ancestry or lack thereof.

or talk about age discrimination, " no men over 40 we dont want grandpa " this from a pair of 30 somethings in portland oregon who looked to be one biscuit shy of a ton each.. i thot, geesh, talk about beggars and being choosy..

but yes, jazzer, we are reading this, and so far it has generated some fairly typical responses from a normally well educated and definitely open and opinionated group.. so, please, don't abandon it..sometimes it take a bit to snowball into something..

[wanderingrichard]

dammitjim!
i forgot something in the previous post; people will lie their arses off about the size of just about anything, from bank account to bust size to dress and shoe size on here.. i think the anonymity of the web, and the ability to chameleon yourself with some of even the cheapest of software, brings out the dishonesty in many people who would other wise be rather open.. and then they often wonder why others will have nothing to do with them after they've been found out and exposed.. so, yep, draw an imaginary funnel when searching, pour in all the candidates, and the real ones will always come out last..too bad it just takes so long

one last thing.. after reading a lot of the major articles here, and many of the more numerous forums, i am starting to think that we as bi folk are lots more numerous than either the het or gay community realizes and that we need to start standing up and speaking out more loudly.. i'd almost be willing to bet, that if we really dug deeper in to that aspect of our lives alone, or , excuse me, society's life, we may find a lot more chickens in the henshouse that originally thot or led to believe.

[jazzer]

Thank you for your kind words Richard. I do agree with you that there is a very large group of people out there that are bisexual and more numerous than a lot of people would feel comfortable with. Of course you and I both know that between gay and straight people there are degrees of bisexualness (Kinsey gave us ratings).
We had a MMF threesome with a guy who was in a MMF threesome with another couple (M/F) where the guy identified as being straight. He said the sight of another man's penis in close proximity to his mouth and body nearly made him go nuts (no touching me buddy!!!) and before that experience he swore he was very heterosexual. That meeting became a catalyst for him to identify as "bicurious" and he has accepted that he really isn't straight anymore, although if I said "I feel you may be bisexual", he would reject that notion.
I do hate the description "bisexual", how about "sexually versatile" or "sexually adventurous", sounds much more like it really is.

:three:

[wanderingrichard]

you know folks, he's right, the right term for us isn't bisexual, it's sexually adventurous. jazzer,o wise and wonderful man, it does fit us better doesnt it?.. and who was kinsey anyways except some over sexed closet lecher ?

[wellred]

Hello Jazzer,

This is the first site of this type that I have experienced, so you might say that I was a cyber virgin, lol. I have experienced difficulties that continue to shake my trust.

I tend to communicate with people at face value. When there is no face or the "face" is purposely altered, I find it difficult to maintain a sense of balance. I most often do not have any way of knowing if someone is being truthful or merely having fun at my expense.

I truly enjoy a good fantasy romp, if I know that it is merely a lark. However, when approached by someone and engaged in interesting or even titilating conversation to have then leave abruptly (with no explanation) seems at the least rude. In some circles, this is called "social rape" -- where an offer is extended and then accepted, and without notice or explanation withdrawn.

Perhaps, it is my fault for trusting what appears to be truth when indeed it is not. Perhaps, it is because I do not understand that the rules of etiquette in cyber space are less courteous than what might be expected in a civil telephone call. [Though, my a vast majority, I find the people here very pleasant.]

Since I do not plan to actually meet people that I talk with online, I do not really care if someone is not straight-forward about their body parts, general appearance or demographics. I believe they choose to be less than honest because of a need they have to be accepted. Unfortunately, they may not know that what they have to offer may be exactly what someone else is looking to find. However, if they are merely be courteous and sincerely talk with me, I will enjoy our experience.

Jazzer, I clearly understand your desire for integrity about the "package" that people are offering for in person relationships. The actual "dating" of someone met online takes the levels of frustration and disappoint to entirely more important plane. Your comments and advice seem extremely sound.

For those of you seeking more than conversation, I hope that you find the treasures amongst the sand.

Hugs,
Red

[lastlaf44]

My boyfriend and I have talked about exploring our sexuality with another bi couple, but it will probably be a little while longer before we do. When we do, the internet seems like the best bet for finding people of similar interest. But even just looking at the profiles on this site, trying to find a bi mf couple who want to develop a relationship (whether sexual or not) with another bi mf couple within a ten year radius of our age is surprisingly difficult. The couples that *are* mf, usually the man identifies as straight and the woman identifies as bi and are only looking for a single woman to join in. Bah, who knows...maybe there will be more bi mf couples out there when my boyfriend and I decide to start exploring. :)

~Last Laugh~ :female:

[Gabriel]

Hi If you want to explore other things you have to be very confortable wit yoy man.
have you ever aske him in he is courious .
I think mane man are curious but is hard to admit it.

G

[jazzer]

Can I just say that descriptions given on an internet introduction site regarding the sexuality of a male can be misleading. When I see a man in his profile describe himself as "straight", from my personal experience that is often not the case. Men are very reticent to describe themselves as "bisexual" as a lot of people have strong misgivings about that label. "Bicurious" is often used but a lot of men will not identify as either.
We have had a large number of replies from men whether in a M/F relationship or as a separate male who start their message by saying "I know my profile says I am straight but..."
We are just about to meet a M/F couple where the man described himself as "straight" in that relationship, but now says in a foursome situation he loves "soft bi", which involves oral and touching.
In our ad I always describe myself as "bicurious" and that seems to encourage other men to be honest and open as to how they truly feel. Because we are a m/f couple, where my wife accepts my sexuality, they feel happier to be open about it.

:2cents: :)

[CuteGeorgiaBoy]

I haven't had much luck at all meeting anyone compatible, but I haven't given up.

[lastlaf44]

I don't really understand that...men in a mf couple in some ads identifying as completely straight when they are actually bisexual or bi-curious. I mean, what exactly is there to hide on an ad like that on a bisexual website? Do you or does anyone else have more insight into this? Is it mostly the labelling that draws people away from identifying as bisexual/bi-curious in an ad?

~Last Laugh~ :female: