An Ultimatum-need opinions

[yama23]

Long story extremely shortened my live in girl friend of a year said to me "it is either your dog or me"
What would you do?

[TaylorMade]

To be honest, it's not alot of information. But I guess I'd ask, who have you had longer?

*Taylor*

[darkeyes]

an wich is the best shag???:bigrin:

[biupstateny]

it all depends....are you doing anything with the dog??? Hey,...gotta ask! I beleive not. Coming from a woman...that be me...choose the dog. Then go out and get a woman that is going to respect you AND your dog!!!! Unless you had the woman longer and she's a better friend!!! LOL LOL !!!!! But honestly, the dog will always be there and won't argue with you, and you can find a woman that will accept your dog. Sounds like jelously issues, but your story is way too short!!! Do you mind induldging us????

[biupstateny]

good baby jeasus!!! should of checked the profile first. Mister Man, drop your woman and KEEP THE DOG!!! You should have no problem getting another girl!!!! HOT DAMN!!!!!:love:

[DiamondDog]

good baby jeasus!!! should of checked the profile first. Mister Man, drop your woman and KEEP THE DOG!!! You should have no problem getting another girl!!!! HOT DAMN!!!!!:love:

:rolleyes: He's not that hot.

I'd keep the dog too if I still had one. :(:(:(:(

[AmeMahoney]

Depending on what's going on...maybe you should check out the show "It's Me or the Dog." If your mutt is out of control and you spend all your time and affection on it, getting rid of the girl will not solve the problem. On the other hand, if she is just some crank who doesn't like dogs - kick her to the curb, pronto! :)

[HighEnergy]

I don't do ultimatums well. I've got a dog, a cat who chose me over her owner and wouldn't go home with him anymore, and 2 kids. Love 'em or bugger off.

That being said, when my exhusband wouldn't stop letting the 70 pound bloodhound sleep with us and it was hurting my back, (among many other reasons) I left him and the dog and got myself a new dog who sleeps next to one of the kid's beds. :) And my own power tools....

So what's her beef with the dog?

[shameless agitator]

If you give in here, you can expect to get a lot more ultimatums in the future. You will simply be showing her that she can get whatever she wants by threatening to leave you if you don't comply. I would just tell her you're keeping the dog. If she's serious and would leave you over something like this, she's no great loss. Just my :2cents:

[brunette]

if it's destroying her allergies or causing her severe stress, you gotta figure out which one you love more. otherwise, just dump her straight away and find someone who can love your dog in spite of you...haha

[Tingly_Tickles]

Keep the pup your hot you don't have to settle for anyone that doesn't want
to be happy with you period.

The allergy thing yea that would suck but my wife has horrible allergies and is
basically allergic to everything but pills work for allergies.

[arana]

Makes me wonder what brought on such an ultimatum after being with you and the dog a year.

[wolfcamp]

good baby jeasus!!! should of checked the profile first. Mister Man, drop your woman and KEEP THE DOG!!! You should have no problem getting another girl!!!! HOT DAMN!!!!!:love:

I didn't see a picture of the GF OR the dog. :tongue:


When I got married the first time, she moved in and my cat moved out (ran away). In hindsight, I should have kept the cat.

[godowntogether]

keep the dog it won't make you choose.

[citystyleguy]

so what's the dog say about it?

as for me, was the dog with you before or after the gf? if before, what's the big deal, and if after, well i always vote with the dog; as some else says here, hot damn! you are very fine! you wont have a problem getting another gf.

good luck!

[TaylorMade]

:rolleyes: He's not that hot.

I'd keep the dog too if I still had one. :(:(:(:(

I agree with keeping the dog. He'll still love you after she leaves. Prolly'll love you more.

And put the claws away, Kitty.

*Taylor*

[Michael623]

Keep the dog. It's love is unconditional.

[Cesca]

I love dogs but think before judging what is to be done we should know just what the relationship between dog, gf and poster is. I hate ultimata but there are times when it is a case of me or else and can envisage a number of circumstances when I would do the same thing.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

My dog , who just turned 10 years old, has been my one true companion , he has seen many people come and go out of my life, he's traveled the US with me, and quite frankly if someone made me choose, I would show them to the door. Hands Down. My dog comes first.

[onewhocares]

I posted, or thought I posted this yesterday after Diamond Dog but it never seemed to make it to the site....technology eh.


DIAMOND DOG.......look again YAMA is so so beautiful. Ok the outside packaging is damned good but what is even better is the wonderful man he is on the inside. Looks, smart, wit all rolled into one package. Box him up and send him to me for Christmas.

Yama....

Never stay with a woman who wants you to make a choice....a man and his dog are a matched set. If she wants you to get rid of your dog, what is next? The brand of beer or wine you drink, the car you drive. LEAVE her in the dust if she says your bike has to go. If your choice is the dog, perhaps you might be interested in a tall blondish lady from Boston....I love dogs, love your bike, appreciate your mind and will share you.

Belle

[darkeyes]

Belle... luffs lil doggies..had 1 who died not so long bak an jeez me misses er like shite..but if u think me wud take 2cd place 2 a doggie wen it cums 2 me luff life... yas jus not on... doggie companion m8 an triff fun.. but doggie aint a luffer..its place is 2 add 2 relationship not 2 bloody supplant it... an if ne 1 thot mora a mutt than me then ther wud b big trubble....1 warnin...doggie is a pet.. 2 b luffed an cared for an made happy.. but neva 2 b doted ova in ne way wich means that me takes 2cd place or even cums close......me wudn stand for it..an in that case...wudn give ultimatum cos if me partner fell inta bad ole ways... then e or she knows wer door is.... hereendeth the lesson...

Wudn do it meself belle, in ne serious relationship..an don expect it 2 happen 2 me

[yama23]

2746

2747

This is Thomas.

[the mage]

Its all pointless drivel without more facts....

Please Splain the WHY?

[yama23]

I apologize for the lack of information in the post.
A little history on Thomas, I adopted him when he was 1 from a neglectful family, he is now 4. He used to live chained to a dog house out doors and left alone for hours. I just recently had a custody battle with my now ex-wife who would leave him left alone for 12 hours while she was at work. He lived that way for the better part of last year. I received him full time as of the second weekend in November 2007, the girlfriend moved in in June 2007.
So here is the why:
Thomas has nipped at her twice. He has never made contact, basically he is just scaring her.
He has never nipped at me however I have been the one to discipline him but feel that I shouldn't be the one to discipline him if he nips at her. Thomas respects me already, she is going to have to be the one to do it. But she then went on to say that if he does it again it is either him or me.

[gfofbiguy]

I'm glad you posted more information about the situation. At first, I was going to say lose the girlfriend, keep the dog. However, I think there could be a workable solution...

Has Thomas been to obedience training yet at all? It might be beneficial for your girlfriend as well as Thomas if SHE took him to obedience training classes...a bonding experience for the two of them as well as him seeing her as a disciplinarian/pack leader, since he already sees you as a disciplinarian/pack leader. I know classes are offered at some pet stores (Pet Smart I know offers them) as well as try calling American Kennel Club (or www.akc.org) or asking your vet for recommendations/referrals. Good luck to you!

I just noticed you live in Canada....they have a Kennel Club website as well: www.ckc.ca I took a quick look at their website, and you can click on CKC Resources, BSL Resource Centre, Additional resources for info or of course always just call and ask and they should be able to refer you. Again, good luck!

[Gemini25]

Long story extremely shortened my live in girl friend of a year said to me "it is either your dog or me"
What would you do?

In my personal opinion, Keep the Dog. If after a year of living with you she is just now having trouble with your dog... Don't do it, because at the end of the day your dog is always the most excited to see you when you get home, doesn't care what you look like or smell like, and they will always listen to you, and never let you down. If she is trying to take control and make you make this kind of sacrafice now, down the road what other things will she make you sacrifice. Relationships are about equal partnership, give and take, Not Me or The Dog. Like I said in the begging this is my own personal private opinion. :2cents: Hope I didn't offend anyone. :flag1:

[Gemini25]

good baby jeasus!!! should of checked the profile first. Mister Man, drop your woman and KEEP THE DOG!!! You should have no problem getting another girl!!!! HOT DAMN!!!!!:love:

I must concure with biupstateny.... I posted a responce before checking out your profile. You will have no problem finding another girl or guy for that matter. DAMN! Very Nice.....

[Gemini25]

I apologize for the lack of information in the post.
A little history on Thomas, I adopted him when he was 1 from a neglectful family, he is now 4. He used to live chained to a dog house out doors and left alone for hours. I just recently had a custody battle with my now ex-wife who would leave him left alone for 12 hours while she was at work. He lived that way for the better part of last year. I received him full time as of the second weekend in November 2007, the girlfriend moved in in June 2007.
So here is the why:
Thomas has nipped at her twice. He has never made contact, basically he is just scaring her.
He has never nipped at me however I have been the one to discipline him but feel that I shouldn't be the one to discipline him if he nips at her. Thomas respects me already, she is going to have to be the one to do it. But she then went on to say that if he does it again it is either him or me.

OK, last posting on this for today I swear.... Now that I have read all the way to the bottom of this thread, and have aquired more information about the situation. It's sounds like the girlfriend needs to take a more dominent roll in Thomas' life. I have a Malamute/Wolf and he (in the past) has been nippy, bitchy, didn't listen, ect. I've let him know I am the boss, and now we don't have as many problems. It is a process and it will take time, just remember to be consistent. By the way love the pictures of the dog. I still say in the end to keep the dog because he's all ready had such a rough life. He needs love and time to heal. I say this because I have 4 dogs that I have adopted from the shelter that in their previouse lives were abused and neglected, and now they are all happy spoiled brats... :flag1:

[biupstateny]

:rolleyes: He's not that hot.

I'd keep the dog too if I still had one. :(:(:(:(

Hey, hes hot enough to keep the dog and get another woman!!!! I just had to complement him....by the way, your good looking too!!!!

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

id say keep the dog....

[biupstateny]

OK, last posting on this for today I swear.... Now that I have read all the way to the bottom of this thread, and have aquired more information about the situation. It's sounds like the girlfriend needs to take a more dominent roll in Thomas' life. I have a Malamute/Wolf and he (in the past) has been nippy, bitchy, didn't listen, ect. I've let him know I am the boss, and now we don't have as many problems. It is a process and it will take time, just remember to be consistent. By the way love the pictures of the dog. I still say in the end to keep the dog because he's all ready had such a rough life. He needs love and time to heal. I say this because I have 4 dogs that I have adopted from the shelter that in their previouse lives were abused and neglected, and now they are all happy spoiled brats... :flag1:

Sad story, no animal deserves that. You need to tell your gf to take control of the situation. Or, maybe the dog dosen't like her. But above all, you should keep the dog. If a woman can give an altamadium so quickly and in such a young realtionship, maybe she isn't worth it.

[jeancarleo]

IF I WAS U I'LL KEEP THE DOG. AFTER ALL THEY'RE MAN'S BEST FRIEND RIGHT?

[jamiehue]

Work with your dog this will happen all over again.

[biupstateny]

my bf had the same type dog when he was married....loved him to death...came home one day and the (ex)wife got rid of him without saying a word. He was heartbroken....
Get rid of the woman before she thinks she has the right to do something with your dog....

[Sapphrodite]

Hey yama - Don't buy into the Ultimatum nonsense, regardless of how problems present themselves. You always can incorporate other choices into the mix and offer compromises without having to address an 'either/or' choice.

See what resolution you can come to regarding the dog and obedience training first, and for gawds sake, make her go too... Both Dog and GF need to create a rapport with each other, and the consistency of some training where both you and her deal with the dog the same way will also help Thomas adjust and know who's boss.

I dont know how much you may know about doggie behaviour, but growling, nipping and this kind of aggression is often the result of the dog trying to find his pecking order among new people. He's using his own little doggy ways of letting her know that he was here before her and that him place is second and hers third in the social hierarchy of your home. It's easily remedied by obedience training and letting the GF do things for Thomas, especially controlling his food. Dont leave food out for him all day long and only let her feed him so that he has to wait and watch her give it to him (aka waits while she places the bowl on the floor)... Trust me, the fastest way to gain a dog's respect is for him to understand who puts his dinner down.

Your girlfriend likely feeling a bit of displacement, seeing as you have just spent time and effort in a custody battle over your dog that you shared with an ex - a tad on the immature side if you asked me, but understandable nevertheless. Now she has a permanent four-legged reminder of your ex running around the house drooling and eating her shoes...

Give your GF some time to adjust and be understanding of her point-of-view also: ask her why she really doesnt like the dog, and let her know how much her and the dog both mean to you and that you really dont want to choose between them. Maybe you can use the dog training as a way of bringing you both together - there's no reason why you can't share training books and ideas, then have a doggie-style session afterwards ;)

It's still early in the period of adjustment... it's only been three weeks that Thomas has been there full-time, and it's just as much of a change and shock for the girlfriend as it is for the dog. As for the ultimatum aspect, I'm not fond of them as a communication tool. To me, dont give any ultimatum whereby you wouldnt be able to live with the downside, cause often that's where you'll end up. If she's willing to compromise and go through the stuff that's needed to become friends with your beloved canine, then she's a keeper!! Otherwise I think she should pack her ultimatums and move on to a pet-free home...

~Sapphy~
(another Canuck doglover) :cool:

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

my bf had the same type dog when he was married....loved him to death...came home one day and the (ex)wife got rid of him without saying a word. He was heartbroken....
Get rid of the woman before she thinks she has the right to do something with your dog....

If that ever happens to me , God help , il see red !

[**Peg**]

...Has Thomas been to obedience training yet at all? It might be beneficial for your girlfriend as well as Thomas if SHE took him to obedience training classes...a bonding experience for the two of them as well as him seeing her as a disciplinarian/pack leader, since he already sees you as a disciplinarian/pack leader.

excellent advice! my EX had a Newfoundland (175 pounds versus my 115)who was consistently knocking me down. So I took a dog-training course, developed a very fine "dog voice" which, coincidentally I have been known to use for phone sex <grin> ... I'M JOKING HERE.... and he learned right smartly to obey me. Oddly, the voice didn't work on the EX worth a damn.

I recommend you take Thomas and the g/f to dog training to start and then let HER develop her own techniques to handle him. Your dog is smart and it won't take him long to catch on.

btw: might want to have Thomas checked out by a vet as well to make sure there's no physical reason he snapped at her.

best of luck to you
**Peg**

[the mage]

I apologize for the lack of information in the post.
A little history on Thomas, I adopted him when he was 1 from a neglectful family, he is now 4. He used to live chained to a dog house out doors and left alone for hours. I just recently had a custody battle with my now ex-wife who would leave him left alone for 12 hours while she was at work. He lived that way for the better part of last year. I received him full time as of the second weekend in November 2007, the girlfriend moved in in June 2007.
So here is the why:
Thomas has nipped at her twice. He has never made contact, basically he is just scaring her.
He has never nipped at me however I have been the one to discipline him but feel that I shouldn't be the one to discipline him if he nips at her. Thomas respects me already, she is going to have to be the one to do it. But she then went on to say that if he does it again it is either him or me.

Niping her is a serious issue
You do NOT have control of your dog and it does not respect her. It will do damage to her as there is not respect shown to her by the dog.
However.... it is totally correctable.
By her not you.
She must be taught how to dominate the dog. Correctly.
You must allow this to happen.

[Not2str8]

I'll let these quotes stand in for my answer.

“We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet; and amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog has made an alliance with us.”

“A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart, not popular, not a good joke-teller, not the best athlete, nor the best-looking person. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born. You are his friend and protector.”

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”

If you can't say all these things about your girlfriend, the answer is obvious.

[shameless agitator]

Now that we have more info, I think you've actually answered it yourself.


He has never nipped at me however I have been the one to discipline him but feel that I shouldn't be the one to discipline him if he nips at her. Thomas respects me already, she is going to have to be the one to do it. But she then went on to say that if he does it again it is either him or me.Basically, it's a dominance thing at this point & Thomas is going to react like that to anybody you live with. <i>She</i> has to show she's not afraid of him & won't put up with that shit. He has to understand that she has seniority over him in the pack & that will only ever happen if she smacks him when he nips at her and makes him back down. Actually, the smack on the nose would have to be repeated a few times. If you want to make sure the confrontation only has to happen once, she needs to growl at him, pin him down & bite him. If she's unwilling to do this & sticks to the ultimatum, I still say dump her ass.

[Sapphrodite]

I'm so glad that people aren't buying into the either-or 'ultimatum' answer. The dog is likely more easily trained than the GF, so unless she's unwilling to budge, there's no reason to have to choose between them.

On a more serious note: I would be slightly concerned with a partner that was insensitive to your desires (i.e.: keeping and caring for your dog) if their answer to a relatively simple issue was to render an ultmatum!! Maybe you can sign her up for some relationship ettiquette courses too (but I dont think they offer those at PetsMart)...

Good Luck Yama!!!! :tong::tong::tong:

[darkeyes]

Interestin lil discussion...an on basis of story of doggie owner yea..seems a lil harsh... we had is side ... wen we get the otha???

[Bluebiyou]

I definitely came from the other side. I was dating a girl with a little yap dog (Scottish terrier, I think). The dog was extremely territorial. Whenever I was around I had to maintain constant (constant) watch for the dog as the dog would try to bite my leg/ankle. The dog had to go, as simple as that.
Now we go for two alternatives:
1. Animals are sometimes (definitely not always) great judges of character. Is it just her that the dog tries to nip? Thomas may be telling you something that you don't know or don't want to know about her.
2. Does the dog try to nip most people/women? Dog has a problem.
Yes, the girl is right to demand a choice.
Any sensible woman or man who comes afterwards will say the same. Time for you to choose between canine and human relationship.

It would be easy to understand how the dog has a bad attitude toward women given it's circumstances and would want to fend off any future 'intruders' that could come between you and Thomas. Can you change the dog?

Good luck!

[Germanicus]

I think the giving of ultimatums is a sign of weakness masquerading as power. And yes, I've both given and received in my time

Giving someone the choice of "me or the dog" is probably a sign that they feel threatened by the status of the dog in your affections. And if you feel jealous of a dog (or cat, etc) then there is probably some real insecurity going on ...

People who give ultimatums should not give them unless they are prepared to accept the consequences ... and I wonder if your girlfriend is.

And, if you give in to ultimatums, you may never have a life afterwards.

So, to sum up, the dog wins everytime.

One final comment, if your girlfriend said "its either me or your son/daughter", would you have even have asked for our opinions?

[brunette]

See what resolution you can come to regarding the dog and obedience training first, and for gawds sake, make her go too... Both Dog and GF need to create a rapport with each other, and the consistency of some training where both you and her deal with the dog the same way will also help Thomas adjust and know who's boss.

I dont know how much you may know about doggie behaviour, but growling, nipping and this kind of aggression is often the result of the dog trying to find his pecking order among new people. He's using his own little doggy ways of letting her know that he was here before her and that him place is second and hers third in the social hierarchy of your home. It's easily remedied by obedience training and letting the GF do things for Thomas, especially controlling his food. Dont leave food out for him all day long and only let her feed him so that he has to wait and watch her give it to him (aka waits while she places the bowl on the floor)... Trust me, the fastest way to gain a dog's respect is for him to understand who puts his dinner down.

i couldn't have said it better myself. my husband came packaged with a very old, very stubborn, very selfish basset hound and a great dane (209 lbs) and neither of them were fans of mine at first.

then, i learned his commands and signals to them, and i started feeding them and letting them out and giving them baths, and now they both respect me. although, the great dane is still a daddy's girl, the basset hound is one of my best friends.

another thing that helps a lot is for her to reward him for being good. when he obeys a command from her or lets her get near him, she should give him a doggie treat or piece of cheese.

anyway, i think we all agree:
basset hound = good
ultimatum = bad

[DiamondDog]

Some of you people don't know how to train dogs.

You're not supposed to hit, beat, snarl/growl, or bite them back when you discipline them!

This just teaches them to fear you and doesn't actually correct their problems.

[lashalane]

Some of you people don't know how to train dogs.

You're not supposed to hit, beat, snarl/growl, or bite them back when you discipline them!

This just teaches them to fear you and doesn't actually correct their problems.

Also..if the dog is yours, discipline it yourself, no matter who it is snipping at. It is your responsibility to make sure your animal is safe to be around others.

I don't like ultimatums..they are childish. If you want something GET IT or Ask for it! If you don't like it, CHANGE IT or LEAVE...period!

[tell_no_one99]

id say keep the dog....

agreed

[Bluebiyou]

It's pretty simple.
Either girl has a jealousy issue (with divide and conquer tactics), or you have substituted a safe animal relationship for a real human one.
Sorry to others who love pets (and I love them too), but pet relationships are often substitutes for humans unwilling to take risks in human world.
Yes, yes, I myself was just crying last week over the death of our pet ferret. I made a beautiful little satin lined coffin, buried her at the bottom of our favorite tree, and it was very sad.
However, I can't think of a human relationship I wished to pursue that I'd allow the ferret to interfere. If the ferret would bite someone (she didn't bite) I wouldn't place the strain on that person.
Many pets will act in your best interests and do have some discernment of people/character; not all do.
There were two times a girlfriend clearly preferred pet relationships. I gave ultimatum to one and left the other. In a relationship, I won't play second fiddle to a pet; that's beyond ridiculous.

[orpheus_lost]

So what will your GF ask you to give up after the dog...and will you give that up as well? I've always found that when someone gives you an ultimatum they're either trying to control you or they're looking for an excuse to leave. Either way, I'd keep the dog.

Whichever one you choose, good luck, Yama. :)

[liquidcandycain]

sounds like the general mass is for the thomas here lol may be shes doing something thats close to his ex owners by means of how he was treated my next door neighbor has a blue pit that was abused and if i walk up with no beanie on he trys to flea me i walk up with a beanie on and he tries to nips me and get me away from the yard come to find out he has poor eyesight and when he see's someone with a beanie on he freaks

or shes just looking for a reason hes a gourgeous puppy and the wife says your hot as hell (kind makes me wanna do some more set ups lol :tong: ) but dog training is probably your best course and some good ole communication with your gf theres days i want to just bury our boxer but hes a good pup and i love him anyways nomatter how pissed off me makes me hes one of the family and just like other family members who piss ya off you find out why fix the issue and move on

but id keep the dog

[vittoria]

2746

2747

This is Thomas.


dOOd...

KEEP

THE


DOG


'nuff said!:doggie::love1:

[biupstateny]

Hey...we havent heard anything in a while? What happen with the girlfriend and dog?????????

[jedinudist]

an ultimatum?

No matter what it's over - if the relationship (or your gf) has gotten to the point where ultimatums are being layed out - then the relationship is already in trouble.

Now you just have to figure out why. Are you favoring the dog too much over her wants/needs?

Is she just trying to muscle the dog out of the picture?

[Bluebiyou]

Ultimatums are neither good nor bad, they simply are.
Yes, they are used by people with control issues.
Yes, they are used by reasonable people; usually at their limit of tolerance.
Feel, think, then decide... anything else is just masturbation...

[DiamondDog]

Original poster: So what are you going to do? Have you decided yet?

[Bluebiyou]

I think if I wasn't in a monogamous relationship at present, I would LOVE to meet Diamond Dog in many ways!
:upside:

[bityme]

Long story extremely shortened my live in girl friend of a year said to me "it is either your dog or me"
What would you do?

:2cents:Even with all of the extra information posted later, the answer is still the same. DTB (Drop That Bitch). Any time someone gives you an ultimatum regarding your relationship and that ultimatum requires that you give something up that is important to you without further discussion, etc, then it is time for the relationship to end. Especially when you are not yet married. If either party becomes a dictator in any respect then you are not compatible for the long term.

Putting it in perspective, if you had a business partner who gave you an ultimatum without discussion or choice, would you feel comfortable in continuing the partnership? Probably not! And then you stay in it as the resentment builds and even minor problems begin to fester and eat you up.

I have survived two marriages, 18 and 20 years, with both ending because my wives died of breast cancer. They would never have lasted if both of us were not willing to talk out our differences and find a common ground.

The result might be your giving up the dog, but NEVER because you were told to, only because you decided it was the best thing for the relationship. No relationship can survive when one of the parties has the upper hand.

[onewhocares]

YAMA........................

We want to KNOW! What was the final outcome?

Belle

[CentralOhio419]

Well say goodbye to the lady..............after all can she lick herself ?????:bigrin:

[yama23]

Just over two weeks and I am still with the g.f. and Thomas is still living with us. I had read all of the tread and agree with pretty much everyone. This what I had to say to her:

You know I've been thinking about what you said, "it is either you or Thomas. "
Thomas has never let me down. That is why I am not ever going to let him down. I am never ever going to give him up ever. Either you deal with him or not. Doesn't really matter but he is not going anywhere.

She has since taken a more dominate roll in the house and Thomas has accepted this. all is well.
Thanks for all the great advise...this site is great.

Yama

P.S. dear sweet belle...Thank you ;)

[biupstateny]

Good for you! Stand your ground....your dog will always be happy!!!! At least all is well!!! Good luck!

[chulainn2]

your dog is your best friend, loyal, always happy to see you and never bitchy if you come home smelling like another dog..
ditch the ho, keep the dog

[onewhocares]

Yama......

Oh I am SO glad that you laid your cards on the table and spoke from the heart. Your girlfriend should be proud to have you by her side. Remember......
" A mans best friend is his DOG."

All the best my friend,

Belle

[Herbwoman39]

I've had animals my entire life. Being nipped at twice is NOT any reason to send Thomas away. Dogs, especially Bassets, are territorial. Thomas and your GF need to learn that SHE is the alpha, not Thomas. I think that ole T is trying to be alpha dog and is bullying your GF.

I agree that obedience classes that SHE takes him to are definitely the way to go for a harmonious household.

As for the ultimatum, perhaps you should sit your GF down and explain to her that if she pulls that crap agai she's going to find her cute little fanny out on the street because ultimatums are NOT a healthy way to build a relationship.

Like others have said, YOU a friggin GORGEOUS and there are plenty of other women out there if she *really* wants to play that game.

Good luck.


EDIT: LOL! Okay so I'm a day late and a dollar short. I'm still advocating for obedience lessons though.

[mdvbi]

insufficient data...
What, honestly, is her objection? I had a dog that was mean and would bite, needless to say I failed my friend (the dog) and had to put him down. but if she is simply a high maintenance woman, with no tolerance for one of gods creatures, which is your friend...well then, the ultimatum was presented to herself. And as a lesson, ultimatums are usually made to ones self first.

[Gemini25]

Just over two weeks and I am still with the g.f. and Thomas is still living with us. I had read all of the tread and agree with pretty much everyone. This what I had to say to her:

You know I've been thinking about what you said, "it is either you or Thomas. "
Thomas has never let me down. That is why I am not ever going to let him down. I am never ever going to give him up ever. Either you deal with him or not. Doesn't really matter but he is not going anywhere.

She has since taken a more dominate roll in the house and Thomas has accepted this. all is well.
Thanks for all the great advise...this site is great.

Yama

P.S. dear sweet belle...Thank you ;)


YEAH! Good for You and Thomas! I'm glad to hear things are working out with him and your girl friend. ;) :bigrin: :bibounce:

[justafriend]

I may be late on this and I haven't read all the posts but here is the simple solution. Have your girlfriend be the one to feed Thomas. He will fall right in line. No more nipping.